CHAPTER TWELVE
Earring

The image still played itself over and over again in his mind. He didn't give a damn about what happened that night but it seemed like he had no choice but to remember such things.

With his eyes still closed, he remembered everything that happened that night...

flashback

He was walking down the street talking to somebody on his cellphone. It was a man's voice, it was cold but gentle. He couldn't quite distinguish who that voice belonged to but he could feel that that man was very important to him.

He smiled at the comment the man said and replied, "Bye!". With that, he closed his cellphone and put it back to his pocket.

It was raining slightly as he walked farther. He saw an older man standing under the light of a certain lamp post. Although he was old, it was clear that he was rich. He had a pair of slacks and a thick trench coat on with a brown scarf tied around his neck.

"Daddy, I'm getting you vanilla. Will that be alright with you?" a feminine voice came from the other side of the road as she waved to the man under the lamp post.

"That would be just fine." The man said back.

Then he noticed something.

He saw a moving figure somewhere near the bushes of the park he was in. He fixated his eyes on the shadow and he was shocked when realized that the figure held a gun. He was only a few feet away from the man and he saw a moving red dot on the elder man's back... straight to his heart.

He ran as fast as he could to the elder man and jumped at him.

"Get down!" was the last thing he said as he heard two gun shots. He could feel the intense pain in his head and chest as he dropped on the pavement.

As he lied on the floor, he looked at the street and he saw the girl ran towards them. "Daddy!" the girl screamed as she got a pistol from her back and aimed it to a figure in front of her. She fired once and the last thing he heard was a painful scream before he closed his eyes.

There was noise all over the place. He was at peace and all of a sudden there was an immense amount of noise.

'Shut the fuck up!' His mind screamed to them but, of course, they wouldn't listen.

He ignored all the noises and began to feel aware of his surroundings. He was in total darkness. He couldn't see anything, not even his hands. He screamed his lungs out but, still, no voice echoed in the dark place. But he could hear something though... The steady beating of his heart. He couldn't just hear it, he could feel it. Pounding within his chest. Then it beat faster, like something is preventing it to be free, suffocating it. After a few moments, the pounding grew weaker and weaker... Then there was nothing... absolutely nothing.

The voices around him were starting to fade now and something in him wanted to sleep... sleep forever. But when he was about to do so, a blinding light presented itself before him. He brought his arm to his eyes to shield himself from the light. Slowly, he removed his arm and looked at the light.

It was warm, cozy and inviting. He wanted to go to it and be in it. So he walked, faster and faster, until it already came to a point that he was already running. He would make it. He would be in the light. He just knew that he would be happy there. No worries, no problems. He was going to make it.

'Just a little more...' He ran faster. The fastest run he ever did in his entire life.

But then in a mere second everything was absorbed into some kind of a hole. "NO!" He screamed.

He collapsed to the floor as darkness swallowed his body whole. There were no noises anymore, but there was also no warm light. Then he noticed that what was gone before came back.

His heartbeat.

end of flashback

Jed jolted from the bed. His breathing was fast and heavy. He was sweating buckets as he sat on the bed. He relaxed as he looked around and noticed that he was in his room. He also recognized that he had a pair of jogging pants as his only attire and it was already dark outside. He brought his hand to his nose, and as usual, there it was. Blood. He quickly wiped the blood off his nose by using the back of his hand.

It was all clear now. It wasn't a blur anymore. The flashbacks and nightmares he had were all about the accident.

'But why does it only have to be that?' Jed thought as he covered his face with his palms. 'Didn't I have any happy memories?'

He remembered the piercing pain he felt within his head and chest. He knew what that meant but he tried to deny it. But out of nowhere, he just felt his hand rise from the sheets and place itself on his chest. He touched the five-inch scar embedded on his skin and as soon as he did, he closed his eyes. He knew that wound very well. It was weakening him every fuckin' day. Then he brought his hand on the top of his head, a few inches beyond his forehead. He knocked it a couple of times and after doing so, he immediately dropped his hands beside him.

He closed his eyes to keep the tears from coming out. He didn't want to cry but he also couldn't stop himself from doing so. He could still hear the sound that came out as soon as he knocked his head.

'Metal.'

Now he understood why his head was, literally, very hard. A metal plate was in his head because of the injury.

'The two shots were from the man in the bushes. One got my heart and the other got my head. The third one was from Kat intended for the man.' Jed thought as he analyzed the three gunshots. 'I was supposed to die that night.' That was the only explanation for the blinding light and the loss of his heartbeat.

'I can't stay here.'

He stood up, fetched a sweatshirt from one of the chairs and dressed himself. He almost touched the doorknob when suddenly it opened by itself. Jed looked up only to be met by Yuki's face.

"You're awake." Yuki said in a low tone. He was wearing a pair of slacks and a polo shirt which was buttoned only up to his chest.

"It looks like it." Jed said as he faced away from the blonde.

"You can't leave." Yuki calmly said as he leaned on the door jam.

"Why not?" Jed asked and faced Yuki.

"Because your sister told me not to let you go until tomorrow night." Yuki replied. "She's on a press conference with the band. And the girl your with on your birthday... What's her name?"

"Ren."

"Yeah, her. She also said she'd come by to check you up tomorrow. She had to leave because she had a crucial meeting."

"I don't care what they said. I'm getting out of here." Jed said as he shove past Yuki.

Yuki quickly grabbed his arm and brought him closer to his face. It was only then that Jed realized how small he was compared to Yuki. Yuki glared at him and said, "I said, 'You can't leave'." And with that, he led Jed out of his room and pushed him on the sofa of the living room.

"Watch some TV. Listen to the radio. Surf the net. Take a shower. Eat. Sleep. Drink. Hell, you can even play the fuckin' keyboard if you want. Just don't leave." Yuki said as he glared even harder at him. "I'll be in my study."

"Yuki..."

He was about to turn around when he heard him. It was the first time he heard him say his name. He wondered why Jed asked him what he could call him but never did say his name. He looked at the lone figure sitting in front of him. Jed's head hung low and his face was almost covered with his hair.

Yuki sighed and sat beside him, just a few feet away from him. He just sat there, waiting for Jed to speak up.

"How long had I been out?" Jed said, still not facing Yuki.

"You have been in the hospital for three days then you slept here for a day, so a total of four days."

"Oh..." Jed said as he cocked his head back and rest it against the backrest. "So, do you know anything about my... uhm... condition?"

Well, actually, all he knew was that Jed had his usual breakdowns. When he went to the hospital, Kat, Ren and even Jared didn't let the doctor talk to him about his condition. They just wanted to let themselves know what happened to Jed because information should only be given to family members of the patient. So, he really didn't know much.

"All I know is you had your usual flashback thing..." Yuki replied.

"Good..." Jed said.

"Have you ever thought of killing yourself but you were always afraid to do so?" Jed asked Yuki again.

Yuki quickly faced Jed. "Don't even think about it. I don't have any plans to be accused of murder before I go to America."

Jed laughed a little, a sincere one. Yuki was a bit embarrassed by his outburst so he quickly regained his composure. "I mean, yeah... A lot of times but there is really no point in doing such a thing." He was now resting his head, too, on the backrest of the sofa.

Both men were staring at the ceiling when Jed spoke again, "But if you're dead, you don't have to worry about so many things. You could just relax."

"True, but could you really be extremely happy if you didn't experience the same extreme sadness? Could you love if you had not been rejected? Could you feel pleasure if there was no pain?" Yuki defended. "You have to live to feel all the good stuff."

Yuki caught a sight of Jed's smile at the corner of his eye and even with that, he was already contented. But then, Jed spoke again.

"Have you ever been in love?"

Yuki immediately thought of Shuichi. The only person he ever loved. He always thought that Kitazawa was his first, but it was only in Shuichi that he felt eternal bliss and now, he also planned to feel that again. With the person just a few feet away from him. "Yes..." He said quietly. "And you? Ren, huh?"

Jed shook his head lightly. "I was happy with her, I cared for her, I loved her but I don't think I was ever in love with her. Maybe that was why it never worked out." Then Jed continued, "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure... Why stop now?"

"What if you didn't know who you were? What if you didn't know who your friends or family were? What if these kind of questions kept on appearing in your head: Who am I? Who are they? Who was my first kiss? Who was my first love? Did I even have a lover? Were we happy? Was I happy?" Jed said. "And every time you ask yourself those questions, it hurts inside. It hurts so much that you wanted to kill yourself just to stop the pain."

Yuki was confused at the question but oblivious to the meaning behind it, so he replied, "I don't know... But I would definitely stop at nothing to retrieve the answers to such questions."

"But what if I couldn't..." Yuki almost didn't hear his whisper but was shocked to see Jed bent down and brought his hands to his face. "God, why are all these happening to me all at once..." He heard him whisper.

Out of instinct, he moved closer to Jed and put his arms around him. He hated this stuff. 'I mean who could've thought that he could end up like this.' He hated having to comfort someone because he really had no idea of doing so.

He held his grip on the younger man tighter and bent down with him. He whispered to his ear, "Sh... It would be all right."

Jed sat up straight and wiped his tears away from his face and he smiled at Yuki. "I told myself to never cry in front of anybody, let alone you."

Yuki smiled at what he said and replied, "Baka..."

After he said that, he saw Jed's shocked expression right in front of him.

"What did you call me?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I mean, I meant it because it was really stupid of you to think so but it didn't really mean like that. Oh, great, I'm going into circles here."

Jed bowed his head again and said softly, "Just forget about it... It's just that that word was somehow familiar to me... Ah, never mind." He stood up and started to walk away from Yuki but Yuki swiftly grabbed his wrist.

"Jed..."

It was the first time that Jed heard Yuki say his name like that. He could feel his heart beat faster as soon as Yuki stood up and went in front of him. Yuki touched his hair, and then his cheek, then his neck. He closed his eyes as he felt Yuki's thumb touch his lip. He opened his eyes and look straight at Yuki.

He was now aware of their position. Yuki's other hand was holding him tightly on his waist while his other hand caressed his face. His hands were dropped on his side as he stared at Yuki.

His head kept on screaming to make it all stop. That what he was doing would just hurt him in the near future. But everything within him didn't want to protest. He loved how Yuki held him. He loved how he touched his face. He loved the way Yuki looked at him. He loved everything Yuki was doing to him.

Then as he suspected, he kissed him and this time, he kissed him back. It was full of passion and warmth. Jed could feel that it wasn't just lust that was taking over there, it was mutual desire to be with one another.

Abruptly, Yuki broke the kiss and moved back a little. "I... I'm sorry. I... I didn't mean to. I shouldn't have done that. It was just that... I couldn't stop myself... I.. I'm sorr"

Jed didn't even let him finish as he brought Yuki's head up to face him. This time, he was the one to play with his hair, touch his face, his nose, his eyes, his lips, and his neck.

He smiled at Yuki and said, "Don't be." Then he caught Yuki's lips with his.

He awoke as he felt the bright rays of the sun set upon his face. He looked around and recognized that he was in his room. He looked to his right and there he was. Like an angel sleeping like a baby. He could see his face shine even though he was facing away from the sun.

Yuki rested on his right side. He brought his hand to comb Jed's hair. It was so soft, like silk. He smiled as he remembered the night before.

It was the best night he ever had in the past seven years. He spent last night with the one person he had very strong feelings for and there was no doubt in his mind that he wanted to continue this. He couldn't forget how they fitted perfectly, like they were meant for each other. He could remember how pleasurable it was when Jed did him and when it was his turn to do him. It was incredible.

He smiled again as he shifted closer to his new lover. He held him tighter as he inhaled his scent. He never wanted to let go of him. That was until he felt something as he combed his lover's hair.

He backed away a little to see what was there. Then his eyes widened.

'An earring.'

He gently removed it from Jed's ear and sat on the bed. He opened the bedside table drawer and got a blue box from the corner. He opened it and he compared the two. He closed his eyes as he clenched the jewelries in his hand.

flashback

"Would you marry me?" Yuki asked Shuichi as he kneeled on one knee. He held Shuichi's hand with his right hand and in his other hand was a small blue box.

They were in Shuichi's favorite restaurant and Yuki took the chance to propose to him. People were staring at them as they all floated on air by the thought of the two lovers getting married. And of course, being as popular as they were, reporters were just outside the restaurant trying their best to, at least, get a glimpse of the two lovers.

"Of course!" Shuichi screamed as he too got on his knees and hugged Yuki tightly. Yuki merely smiled and held him tightly too. Then he pulled back.

He opened the blue box and there were two white gold round earrings.

"Wasn't it supposed to be a ring?"

"You know I hate clichés."

Shuichi smiled at his fiancé and bowed down to read the inscription that was written in English: "You'll never be alone when you get home Eiri."

"So that was why you got me to pierce my ear a week ago." Shuichi teased.

"Yeah..." Yuki replied as he put the earring into his earlobe. "But I bought these about five months ago."

Shuichi's smile just grew wider as he got the other earring from the box. He removed Yuki's gold earring and put the new one in. Yuki just smiled as he was doing so.

"Love you." Shuichi cheerfully said as he kissed Yuki on the lips.

"Baka..."

end of flashback

'Shuichi's earring.'

He woke up slowly as he took notice of the room he was in. 'Yuki's room.' He smiled at the thought of his new lover. He looked for him inside the room, but he was nowhere to be seen. He sat on the bed as he stretched and yawned. He got his shirt and pants which was laid on the floor and went outside to find Yuki. He saw him by the window, sipping a mug of hot coffee. He smiled as he approached him but before he got to him, Yuki slowly turned to face him.

"Where'd you get this?" His face was expressionless. Like whatever happened last night was nothing to him.

He was mad, no, furious. He knew that this would happen. That Yuki would just disregard whatever it was that happened with them but he denied the possibility. Looks like he should have taken the threat seriously.

He sighed deeply as he looked at the object on Yuki's palm. He was surprised to see his earring there. He touched his earlobe, and true as it was, it was gone. He snatched it from Yuki's hand and attached it back to his ear.

"You've only slept with me once and you're already messing with my things. What the fuck is the matter with you?" He almost shouted.

This was the only thing that connected his past with his present life. He never let anyone touch this, not even himself. He tried his best not to remove it and, at the same time, hide it from plain view. 'So what gave Yuki the right to take this. This was all a mistake.' Suddenly the thought of having Yuki as his lover was the last thing on his mind right now.

"Just answer the damned question. Where'd you get the earring!" Yuki shouted at him.

'And now he's mad! Great!' Jed thought deeply as he glared at Yuki. He couldn't tell him that the earring was his because that would mean that he had to explain some things to Yuki and he wasn't ready to do that yet. He breathed deeply as he looked straight to Yuki.

"I stole it."

"You what?" Jed could see that Yuki was ready to kill anyone at that moment and he prepared himself for defense. But to Jed's amazement, Yuki cooled down a bit and asked again, "Who was the owner?"

He couldn't think of any alternative anymore, so he answered in a monotonous voice and expressionless brown eyes, "I killed him."

Jed could see that Yuki was full of emotions. He could see anger, pain, frustration, and confusion. He couldn't even tell which was which. He saw Yuki walk away from him but before he got to the door he said, "Get out. I want you and all of your things out of this place as soon as I get back. Don't ever let me see your face again or I swear, I will kill you." Then he got out of the apartment and closed the door with a loud bang.

Jed fell to the floor, his knees supporting his weight. He ducked his head and, this time, he let the tears flow freely from his eyes.

Author's Notes:

Pretty fast, huh? Finished this chapter in four hours... Wow! I guess I was really in a hurry. It's just that I need to get this finished because I still have to go away to enroll for college and I'm already graduating in six days! Man, I'm done with physics! Wohoo!

See, the earring really has a big role here... hehehe... Now Yuki thought that Jed killed Shuichi... bwahahaha!

I'm not really contented with this chapter but like what I said, I'm in a hurry to get this done. The next chapter would be up pretty soon too. By the way, I don't think this fic would reach sixteen chapters, I think I'm sticking to the original plan which was fifteen chapters.

And oh yeah, here's another song... I just want you to know that whatever song I post here has absolutely NOTHING to do with the chapters...

Save your eyes
From your tears
When everything's unclear
You'll be safe here

From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Wounded heart

When the light disappears
And when this world's insincere
You'll be safe here

When nobody hears you scream
I'll scream with you
You'll be safe here

In my arms
Through the long cold night
Sleep tight
You'll be safe here

When no one understands
I'll believe
You'll be safe,
You'll be safe
You'll be safe here
Put your heart in my hands
You'll be safe here