Summary: Kate wants to believe it's over, but she can't. She needs one last night. Post-island. Spoilers for Do No Harm.
Disclaimer: All people, places, and things that you recognize belong to hat genius down at ABC, J.J. Abrams. I wish I could own Charlie, but sadly I can't. The song belongs to Mario Bello, and is called "I Can't Make You Love Me."
These Final Hours
Turn down the lights
Turn down the bed
Turn down these voices
Inside my head
Lay down with me
Tell me no lies
Just hold me close
Don't patronize
Don't patronize me
Jack stopped loving her when they got off the island, Kate had come to realize. In his eyes, she presumed, that part of their lives came to a close the moment the boat came to rescue them from the island.
They had been on the island for a little less than two years. After the first few months they gave up on any hope of being rescued and, in time, switched from waiting to be found to learning how to survive. Everybody built themselves their own huts, and began to think that they were going to spend the rest of their lives on the island. Sayid let the signal fire burn out; Sawyer started to give people what they asked for without requesting anything in return. Charlie stopped reminding people that he was in a band, and Hurley eventually finished his golf course.
Claire gave birth when they had been on the island for a little over a month, a beautiful boy named Evan. Shannon also had a baby, a girl named Nadia.
There had been deaths on the island as well. Boone, Jin, Rose, Sawyer… After seven months, Kate could still vividly remember Sawyer being grabbed by the mysterious island monster. They held a memorial for him; there was no body to bury.
Michael's raft did set said eventually, but it wasn't out to sea for long. A fierce storm hit, and everybody but Jin made it back to the island alive. Sun distanced herself from the rest of the survivors for months.
Charlie proposed to Claire when they were halfway to L.A, while Sayid asked Shannon to marry him when they were still on the island. Locke had preformed and impromptu wedding ceremony for them; they meant to get married officially once on the mainland. As far as Kate knew, Shannon already planned where her wedding was going to take place. On a beach, of course.
Kate couldn't help but be happy for them, but thinking about the happy couples always brought tears to her eyes. Thinking about the island romances brought her mind back to Jack.
And Jack always made her think of what could have been.
I'll close my eyes
Then I won't see
The love you don't feel
When you're holding me
There was a time when they were truly in love, Kate remembered. Every day back then was an adventure; they explored each other senseless. They had been virtually inseparable; it took a true emergency for Jack to leave Kate's side.
Kate hadn't told many people this, but she got pregnant when they'd been on the island for a little more than a year. Jack had been ecstatic, checking Kate every day to make sure she and the baby were healthy. All was going well, until that fateful day.
She was about ten weeks pregnant, her stomach starting to protrude slightly. She was out in the jungle with Claire, picking fruit, when she fell into a ditch. Jack held her while she cried through the night.
Their relationship remained steadfast, even after the tragedy of losing their unborn child. After that, Kate though they could survive anything together.
She imagined their future lives, whether on the island or off. There would be a small her5d of Shepard children running around, their parents happily watching, still madly in love with each other, even after all the years.
That was what Kate hoped, but there was always that little part of her mind, the one that knew there was a chance it wouldn't work out.
It was that part of her mind that took over as she waited for Jack to come home.
Morning will come
And I'll do what's right
Just give me 'till then
To give up this fight
And I will give up this fight
After they came back to America, Jack asked Kate to live with him in his apartment. She knew it was because she had nowhere else to live; most criminals proved innocent that were recently rescue from an island had no place to go. Kate hoped it was because he was in love with her and wanted to continue their relationship, but she knew otherwise.
He did it totally out of pity. She knew he'd fell horrible, putting her out in the cold while he had a place to go to when they day ended.
He went to work at the hospital every day, leaving Kate to her own devices while she searched for a job of her own.
Jack came home around seven every night. It was like a routine; he came home, they ate dinner, and then either sat in front of the television or he went straight to sleep. There wasn't the spontaneity of a new love; the feeling that you never knew shat was going to happen next.
That night Jack came home a half-hour late (typical N.Y.C traffic, he said). They had pasta primavera. While Kate was loading up the dishwasher with their plates, Jack came up behind her. Without the slightest warning, his arms were tight around her waist, his lips suddenly caressing her neck.
There's that pity again! The thought in Kate's mind screamed. She wanted to know they were wrong, that he still loved her, but she just couldn't. She knew, as they kissed and he led her back towards 'their' bed, that his mouth was void of any emotion as it trailed small biting kisses up her jaw. The flame of passion from the island was extinguished, leaving Kate with Hack's cold and distant hands that gave her chills but not because she was excited.
Kate felt an impulse to speak up, to tell him that the games needed to come to an end. It was that little voice in the back of her head again, but this time she would follow it.
She just needed some more time, Kate decided as jack slowly unbuttoned her shirt.
She needed one last night to set things straight.
One last night to say goodbye to the best thing that's happened to her.
I can't make you love me
If you don't
You can't make your heart feel
Something it won't
Here in the dark
In these final hours
I will lay down my heart
And I'll feel the power
But you won't
No, you won't
Kate woke up the next morning to sunlight streaming through the bedroom window. She expected Jack to be beside her, but she was alone in the bed.
Jack was in the kitchen, making them breakfast. "Hey," he mumbled, his back still turned to her.
She walked further into the minuscule kitchen, and Jack finally turned around. He swept her up into a good-morning hug, and his mouth ravaged her neck again.
Kate wanted to let it continue, oh how she wanted to lead him back into the bedroom, but she knew their game had gone on for too long. He may have wanted the sex himself, but she knew he did it only because she liked it
Kate placed her hands on his chest. "Jack, this needs to stop."
He let out a sigh of pure relief.
She smiled.
'Cause I can't make you love me
If you don't