CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Sweetest Goodbye

"Good Evening."

God, he was so weak. He couldn't even make his voice louder. How the hell was he going to get through this? He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. He had to do this, for him. Before he left, he just needed to tell him everything. Before they went their separate ways, he had to let him know.

Brown eyes travel its way through the audience and with a final breath, he began.

Yuki ran out of the taxi as soon as they reached their destination. Midland Inn wasn't that tall, maybe at least twenty stories high, but it was very spacious. Outside, different radio and television stations had their vans parked, numerous reporters swarmed near the entrance and a few photographers were taking pictures.

Yuki, realizing that there was no way that he could get in without any help from the inside, got his cellphone and dialed Tohma's number.

"Moshi Moshi."

"Tohma, get your butt out here and give me some help." Yuki said urgently, then he hung up.

Before going into the crowd, he turn to the cab driver. "Wait for me here." Then he glared at him. "Don't do anything funny. If something happens to my luggage, I swear to God that I'll bite your head off. Do you understand?"

The driver swallowed and nodded his head vigorously. Yuki's eyes did look like he meant what he said, and he did. After all, his laptop was in that luggage.

He prepared himself to squeeze through the bodies just to get inside. But before he did, he heard something.

"Please be quiet..." It was Tohma. "Silence please."

Yuki's height was a big advantage because he could clearly see Tohma in between two bodyguards at the entrance of the building. It was clear that Tohma was not patient at that moment because Yuki could see him grip the megaphone tighter as he listened closely to the noise.

"For the last time, please be quiet!" Tohma almost shouted, but the noise was still growing.

Yuki was shocked to see Tohma snatch one of his bodyguard's gun, aimed it up and fired it once.

And then there was silence.

"Do you hear that?" Tohma smiled maliciously at the crowd, still maintaining his poise and composure. "That's called silence. So please shut your holes and let my friend pass." Immediately, a pathway was formed from the street to where Tohma was standing. "Thank you." The president cheerfully said.

Yuki was really surprised, but very thankful of what his brother-in-law just did. He ran to Tohma and smiled at him. "Thanks." Tohma smiled back and cocked his head to the building. "It's at the end of the hallway to your left."

Yuki ran to the hallway that Tohma was referring to. He could now see the open doors ahead of him. He stopped to catch his breath and went in. The room was filled with people. Most of them, probably the VIP guests, were comfortably seated on the tables right in front of the stage, while some of the media were standing beside the walls of the room.

Yuki squeezed his way through and got the perfect spot. He wasn't too obvious because it was a bit dark at the place he chose, but he could clearly see Shuichi.

'Shuichi...'

This was him. He was alive. After the incident in London, he had been looking for him for two years. They were supposed to get married after he got back from their tour. He could still remember their last conversation clearly.

flashback

"Aren't you even glad? I'm coming home tomorrow!" Shuichi cheerfully said on the telephone.

"Already? That means no more quiet time then... Sad." Yuki said in a monotonous voice.

Liar. He had been waiting, no -- craving for Shuichi for the past six months. He couldn't even finish his new novel and that would definitely send his editor to her usual hysterical bitch mode. But he could never deny the fact that he missed that little brat. After all, he had been used to having him always by his side for three years.

'But why should I let him know that?' Yuki thought as he smirked as he imagined at the pout which was already forming on his lover's face.

"Mean!" Then, Shuichi lightened up, and with the most caring voice he said. "I miss you too."

Yuki smiled at his statement. He could really read Yuki like an open book.

"Ne, Yuki?"

"Yeah."

"When I get home, our schedule's going to be really hectic, huh? I mean, with the wedding and all."

The wedding. Yuki touched his earring as he thought of their wedding. Everything was already planned out and in two months, they were getting married. He was as nervous as hell, but he couldn't wait for the big day. It was going to be perfect, he was a romance novelist after all. He's going to give Shuichi his dream wedding. They were going to be happy.

"Don't worry about it. Just get your ass back home."

Yuki could feel Shuichi's smile even if they were a thousand miles away. Then, Shuichi said softly, "I love you, Eiri."

Yuki smiled. Shuichi seldom used his real name, but he really liked the way it sounded coming from those lips. Shuichi told him that he should get used to him being called like that because 'Yuki' wasn't his real name and it meant snow -- cold. He said that Yuki was anything but cold. He was full of warmth and Shuichi told him that he intended to keep it that way.

"Love you too, Shu." He said softly. He himself should also get used to that name than the usual "baka".

"Bye!" Shuichi said then he hung up.

end of flashback

As of now, this was what he could only do. Stand in one corner, as he looked at the love of his life. It already took a lot of him to stop himself from jumping onto the stage and hugging Shuichi tightly.

He looked intently to Shuichi as he bowed his head down nearer to the microphone. He looked like hell. He was only dressed in a pair of faded jeans and a loose t-shirt, fortunately, he had a black leather trench coat on. His brown hair was all messed up and it was clear that it was just recently combed. He was as pale as a ghost and the bags under his brown eyes were so clear. On second thought, he didn't look like hell, he looked like he was dead.

But something was still bugging Yuki, 'Why is he still wearing those contacts?'

"Just as Sakuma-san had--" Shuichi started, but seeing that Ryuichi was pouting at the said name, he quickly changed it. "I mean, Ryu-chan had said, I needed to do this to say something very important."

He inhaled deeply and said in a soft tone. "You see, the person that is very important to me will leave Japan in only a few minutes. He's probably boarding right now, but I really couldn't blame that person. It was all my fault. I let that person go." Shuichi smiled at the audience. "So, I want to sing a song. A song for that certain person. In this song, all my feelings would be revealed. Please listen closely to the melody and especially to the lyrics. I might not be able to express this to the person I love, but at least, I get to share this to all of you."

The first few chords were now playing in the background. "This is Sweetest Goodbye."

Yuki looked at the figure on the stage with widened eyes. "Oh, my God. Could it be that..."

He only stared at Shuichi as he brought his mouth closer to the microphone and close his eyes, pouring himself to the song. Then, he started to sing.

Where you are seems to be
As far as an eternity

Yuki thought about the first time they met. How Shuichi told him that he was so cold and so selfish.

Outstretched arms opened hearts
And if it never ends then when do we start?

He remembered how Shuichi reached out to him and healed his wounds.

I'll never leave you behind
Or treat you unkind
I know you understand

All the promises that Shuichi made to him.

And with a tear in my eye
Give me the sweetest goodbye
That I ever did receive

God, there were so many times that he tried to leave Shuichi, and in each time Shuichi would cry. But what Shuichi did not know was that Yuki suffered every second of it.

Pushing forward and arching back
Bring me closer to heart attack

All the times they made love to each other which was filled with passion and affection.

Say goodbye and just fly away
When you come back
I have something to say

Yuki closed his eyes shut as he comprehended the words. Shuichi was talking about him, right now. He was talking about the fact that Yuki was leaving the country.

How does it feel to know you never have to be alone
When you get home?

The inscriptions in the earring.

There must be some place here where only you and I could go
So I can show you how I

Where they first met, the park.

Dream away everyday
Try so hard to disregard

The times when Yuki tried to forget Shuichi.

The rhythm of of the rain that drops
And coincides with the beating of my heart

How Shuichi related himself to the rain.

Yuki slowly opened his eyes. He looked at Shuichi on the stage, eyes still closed and both hands on the microphone, like he was using the stand to support his weight. Tears were now slowly streaming down Yuki's face as he walked through the dumbfounded audience.

I'll never leave you behind
Or treat you unkind
I know you understand
And with a tear in my eye
Give me the sweetest goodbye
That I ever did receive

Pushing forward and arching back
Bring me closer to heart attack
Say goodbye and just fly away
When you come back
I have something to say

He was now a few feet in front of the stage, still looking at Shuichi. "Baka..."

How does it feel to know you never have to be alone
When you get home?
There must be some place here where only you and I could go
So I can show you how I feel

The audience was ecstatic. They all stood up as soon as the song was finished and they all clapped with all their might. Some of them were howling, and some were even crying. Shuichi slowly opened his eyes and looked at the audience again. The distinct blonde hair caught his attention. He looked down at the person and smiled weakly. "Hey..."

He couldn't believe it. He came. Ryuichi's plan actually worked. At first, he didn't even try to consider the singer's proposal because there was just no way that he could even get himself off the hospital bed, but the J-pop legend was insistent.

He got Red to arrange all the papers for him to be able to get out of the building without any problems. He got Tohma to arrange all the matters which concerned Yuki. He got Kat to find his notepad and the lyrics which he finished a few hours before he jumped off that cliff. He got Hiro and Fujisaki to arrange the proper music to accompany the original melody of the song. He got K and Ren to convince numerous TV stations to have a live telecast of the launching party, especially considering Ren's wealth and K's persuasive attempts. He even got Sakano to delay Yuki's flight as their last resort, if things didn't turn out the way they wanted it to.

Yes, the past few hours were very chaotic but amazingly, Ryuichi got a hold of all of it, and each moment was worth it.

'Because the person whom all of this was for is now here, in front of me...' Shuichi thought.

Yuki started to step forward.

Shuichi smiled at him and said softly, "Don't, I'm not done yet."

He was happy that Yuki was here and that everything worked out as planned, but it still didn't change the fact that in doing all of this, he was risking his own life. When he left the hospital, his heart rate was already down to 40. There were only ten more to go before he went to cardiac arrest, and maybe lose his life.

He gripped the microphone tighter. 'Why did all of these have to happen to us?' For seven years, he had been at a lost and now that he finally regained some clarity in his life, he had to lose everything -- and this time, for good. He was going to die, he had already accepted that. He had even welcomed it for several times in the past, why was now any different? What he couldn't accept was the probability that he might not be able to tell Yuki how he truly felt.

All eyes were now on both of them but their eyes were glued to each other. Shuichi moved again to the microphone and spoke in a frail voice, "I've told myself so many times that I wasn't worth it, wasn't worth of any happiness... But then you came and everything changed. Every second that we spent on bickering at each other, I felt happy because at least, you acknowledged my presence." Tears were now starting to well up in his eyes. "I've always wanted to stop it, though, that certain feeling that I felt for you. I've tried to deny it. Tried telling myself that there was no way that something could happen between us... But I just grew tired of all of it. So, I finally gave in, but even that was not a good idea." He looked at Yuki more intently as tears started to pour down his face. "But I never regretted every second that I spent with you, even if it was all made up with smart-assed comments."

"You know that I was never good with words so I'm going to say this, short and simple..." Shuichi smiled weakly at him as he tried his best to keep awake. He was just so weak.

"How did you know that I knew that?..." Yuki was now starting to walk to Shuichi in a slow pace.

Shuichi smiled knowingly as he paused a little and said in the sincerest voice, "I love you. I've always had and always will. Always remember that, ok?"

"What the hell are you talking about!" Yuki was shouting as he cried with Shuichi.

Shuichi smiled sweetly at him and bowed down. He brought his hands to his eyes and looked at Yuki. Yuki gaped as he saw what Shuichi just did, because now, violet eyes were now meeting amber ones.

"Shuichi..." Yuki stopped in his tracks as he whispered his lover's name.

"Don't forget me, Eiri, because I've just remembered you..." And with those final words, Shuichi lost his balance. He let go of the microphone as it, too, accompanied his fall. He could now feel the copper blood in his mouth and his fading heart beat. The last thing he could remember was the warm body which enveloped his own and the tireless screams of his own name which reached his ears.

'This is my sweetest goodbye to you, Eiri... I love you...'

And then, there was darkness.

Author's notes:

I AM SO SO SO SO SORRY! I really am... At least, the next chapter is out, right? Even though I'm not so happy on how it turned out. Please forgive me! You know how jammed up is for the past few days... I even finished this chapter in only three hours so that I could immediately post it. I really am very sorry for all the confusion.

To all of the people who reviewed, encouraged, suggested and complained, thank you all! I would have never done this without you guys... Thank you for the patience.

I know that this sounds like I'm saying goodbye or something, but you see, I don't really know how to end the story. I mean, I've got a nice ending but Shuichi being dead is a lot more dramatic so maybe it could also be better if I would just leave it that way. So, this is the only time that I would ask for reviews. I would like to know what you think. I'll be waiting for two weeks. After then, I'll decide.

THANK YOU EVERYONE!