Dag came to Fulcinia's door or at least he hoped it was her door. Usually when the fort had important visitors, which was seldom, they stayed in these rooms because they were the least accessible without going past the rooms occupied by the knights. That gave the visitors a feeling of security that most of them desired. He didn't think Fulcinia was concerned with her security but these were the best guest quarters and Dag hoped Arthur had given them to her.
Dag took a deep breath and knocked gently on the door. He heard Fulcinia's soft voice in response to his knock. He turned the handle and walked into the room. She was sitting on the chair next to her bed holding her hand in her lap. "Dag, what are you doing up and about? You should still be resting." She chided him in the form of a greeting. "I feel much better, thanks to the great care I received." He replied to her question.
Fulcinia stood up and moved to her bed. "Please have a seat." She motioned to the chair she had just vacated. Dag moved over to the chair and sat down. He tried not to groan when his side burned. She saw him flinch and moved to his side. "See, you've hurt yourself. Let me check your bandages." She made to remove his shirt and he raised his arms to help her. She removed the bandage from the wounded side and took care checking the wound for any signs that he had done any damage. "Well, it all looks fine, I guess the pain is just from the healing process."
Dag smiled at her and saw her face flush. "Fulcinia, why did you not come back to my room after your visit with Alecto?" He hadn't meant to let that be the first thing he said, but when he saw her blush he just had to know the truth. She took a moment to look at him and then she decided to just tell him the truth. "I was heading back there when I saw the woman coming out of your room. I thought she was an old flame and I didn't want to bother you anymore. You were healing quite nicely and didn't need to put up with my company anymore." She hesitated and Dag took the opportunity to interrupt.
"Fulcinia, my beautiful Roman, I don't know where to begin. The lady you saw was Vanora, the mother of Bor's children. She was coming by to check on me." When he saw her face relax, he felt a pang of guilt that he had so easily guided her away from the idea of a romantic relationship between himself and Vanora. "But there's more. I have to be completely honest with you, as you've been with me." He started. "This is a long story, would you like to go to the tavern and get some refreshments?"
Fulcinia shook her head and he prepared to tell her his whole story. "When I came here I was a boy of almost 17 years. Bors and I were recruited from the same village, so we'd grown up together. Vanora was a young girl whose family had all been killed in one fight or the other and she supported herself by working in the tavern. I always thought she was beautiful but I was a gangly young man and didn't have the courage to approach her. Lancelot was the first to catch her eye and I'm afraid he was the first to break her heart." Dag took a moment. Do you have anything to drink here? Some water, maybe?" He waited for Fulcinia to get the cup and fill it from the pitcher on the table. When she had returned to her seat on the bed, he took a drink and prepared to continue.
"After the affair with Lancelot, I started talking to her, trying to get the courage to talk to her about my feelings for her. That's when Bors got involved and Vanora fell for him. I've spent the last 13 years waiting for her to give up on Bors and notice my feelings." He noticed that Fulcinia was getting paler by the moment and decided to end the story as quickly as possible. "Then we went on the mission to bring Alecto back here. I met the only woman who made me forget Vanora." When he saw the look of distrust cross her face he knew he had to make her believe.
"Fulcinia, when you saw Vanora leave my room I had just come to the realization that I had not thought about her since the first time I had met you. She really did come to check on me and she only stayed a few moments. I realize now that I didn't really love her. I was in love with the thought of love." He looked into Fulcinia's eyes and saw the conflict of emotions. She wanted to believe him, but she was afraid of being hurt again. Marius must have made her life a living hell and he so wanted her to be the woman she was supposed to be. He could see the love and kindness she had shown to so many people and he had seen the passion hidden beneath the surface.
He wanted to tell her everything. "Even from the time I saw you serving us a meal at your estate I knew you were much more than Marius would allow. I watched you and waited for a chance to get to know you better. I didn't mean to almost die for that chance but I don't regret it." He smiled at her and was comforted by her return smile. She had a vulnerable quality about her. The way she sat with her hands in her lap, the way she tried to pretend she wasn't vulnerable all spoke volumes about her true feelings.
"Please believe what I say. I would never do or say anything to cause you pain or harm. I can't say that I'm in love with you. Not and be completely honest. But I can say I have feelings for you and with time I know those feelings would become love. I think you might be feeling some of the same things. Am I wrong?" He decided he had said enough. It was now in her hands and he had to let her voice her feelings now that he had put his out like this.
He waited for several minutes and was getting nervous that she hadn't spoken when she finally said something. "Dagonet, the brave Dagonet. I too watched you from afar and saw that of all Arthur's knights, you were the kindest and most compassionate. I admit the beauty of this woman, Vanora, intimidated me when I saw her coming from your room. I thought she was an old flame who had waited for a chance to see you alone. I couldn't believe you would choose me over her beauty if you had the chance to choose." She paused and looked at Dag and he saw the insecurity in her eyes. "I came to my quarters to think about things for a while. I couldn't decide whether to come to you or just pack and get ready to travel to Rome with Alecto without ever telling you my feelings." She stopped talking and he stood up. He walked over to sit beside her on the bed so he could hold her hands in his.
"Fulcinia, you are as beautiful to me now as Vanora ever was to me before. Will you consider staying with me here? I thought a lot about what you said when you left earlier today. I would not be happy in Rome. The politics of the Roman Empire are not for a man as simple as I am. But if you say you must go there, I will accompany you because right now I could not bear to see you leave without me." He waited for her to answer and was surprised when she pulled her hands away from his and stood up.
"Dag, Alecto said some things this afternoon that made me consider doing just that. He has noticed that I've spent a lot of time with you and has given me his blessing to stay, but I'm not sure I would be doing the right thing. I'm afraid that we are moving too quickly." When she saw Dag move to protest she held her hand up and continued. "No, let me finish." When he settled back down, she relaxed and came back over to sit in the chair he had vacated. "Dag, we have neither had a happy relationship for a very long time. Are you sure we are not just grasping at the first person to show us the kindness we crave? That is why I did not come back this afternoon. Not all of my time has been spent thinking about the woman I thought you might choose over me. Some of that time has been spent searching my soul for the truth of our situation." When she stopped talking, she looked at Dag and smiled a truly beautiful smile.
When he saw her smile he felt as if his heart would burst. She was the most beautiful woman at that moment. Her smiles lit her eyes like the sun lit the sky in the morning. "Fulcinia, you are correct in saying I have not had the happiest relationships. Most of them have been an attempt to forget the woman I thought I loved. But this time I know that is not the case. When you did not return this afternoon I didn't know what to do, but I did know I was going to do something. I couldn't let you go away without telling you how I feel. I've never been that way before. I went for 13 years without telling Vanora how I felt. But with you, I had to tell you."
Fulcinia had steadily come to terms with her fears as she heard the truth in Dag's words. There was no way this gentle man could lie to her. His face was like reading a book. Every word was mirrored on his features. She hadn't realized she was smiling at him until he stood up and walked the two or three steps it took to be at her side. He went down on one knee and took her hands in his. "Fulcinia, will you stay with me or do I have to go to Rome?"
Pulling her hands from his, she put them on each side of his face. "Yes, Dagonet, I will stay with you. Rome holds nothing for me and I want to get to know more about you and the life you live." Dag put his hands on top of hers and pulled them from his face kissing the palm of each in turn. "I think I'd better say goodnight and go back to my own quarters. I'd rather stay here, but I think it would be better if I didn't." Fulcinia smiled shyly at his implication. Dag stood up and she walked with him to the door. Dag walked slowly toward his room with a smile on his face.
He decided to take Lancelot up on his offer to listen and turned down the hallway toward the parapet at the top of the wall and found Lancelot sitting on a bench by the wall looking at something in his hand. He looked like he was in deep thought and Dag almost turned around to leave when Lancelot looked up at him and gave a small, sad half-smile.
"Hey Dag, how did it go?" was all he asked. Dag walked over to the bench and looked down at what Lancelot was holding in his hand. It appeared to be a carved wooden talisman but Dag did not recognize it. "What have you got Lancelot?" He wanted to tell Lancelot all about his meeting with Fulcinia, but Lancelot looked so lost he had to find out what was going through the other man's mind.
Lancelot looked back down at his talisman and then he looked up at Dag. "My sister gave me this when I left my village 15 years ago. It belonged to my Father and to his Father before him. I guess it's supposed to bring me luck and take me back home." He paused for a moment and looked back at the figure. "Trouble is I don't know if I want to go home anymore. What could possibly be there after all this time?"
Dag's friend sounded so dejected and Dag desperately wanted to say or do something to make him feel better. It just wasn't fair that they had spent so much time fighting to stay alive to have so little to look forward to. But no matter how hard Dag tried to think of something that would cheer Lancelot's mood, he kept coming up with nothing. Finally he decided to just tell him about Fulcinia like he'd intended and then go away and let the man have his time to brood.
Dag spent the next half hour or so explaining what the problem had been with Fulcinia and how he'd explained things to her and made her understand. When he told Lancelot that she had agreed to stay at the fort so they could get to know each other better Lancelot congratulated him and told him how he hoped they would find all the happiness they both deserved. His sincerity made Dag feel guilty about his newfound happiness and he walked over and clasped Lancelot's shoulder.
"Lancelot, I know you feel you've killed too many men to ever expect to be happy, but if you look deep into your heart you'll realize we only did what we had to do. It was kill or be killed and a lot of the men you've killed were to save the lives of your friends and fellow knights. You've saved my life on several occasions and I know the gods will not punish you for that. It is now time for you to open your heart and forget the past. Look around you. There are women who would do anything to be with the famous Lancelot of Arthur's Knights. Some you haven't even noticed yet. Don't let the mistakes of our forefathers rob you of your life and the heir to your family heritage." He then gave Lancelot's shoulder a final squeeze and turned and left him to think about what he'd said. He just hoped some of it gave him cause to rethink his future.
Dag headed back to his own quarters. The events of the afternoon and evening had drained what little energy he'd gathered from his days in bed. All he wanted to do was lay on his bed and go to sleep thinking about what his future could be. It felt good to finally be able to think of alternate paths he could take now that he no longer was a slave to the master called Rome.