My Pile Of Ashes
A/N: Hi everyone. I am so so so sorry this took so long to update. I know it sounds horribly stupid, but I just haven't felt like updating, or writing, lately. Have you ever been in such a bad mood that you didn't feel like doing anything except sit around and do nothing? That's how I've been. Plus my sister just moved back from Florida and was staying with us for a while. She has kids of her own and they kept interrupting me whenever I tried to write something. But they are gone now. We've moved to a new house and all. I didn't have the computer for quite some time after that.
Then, I actually had the chapter all written out in WordPad but my computer got so infected with adware and spyware that it crashed completely and the disk that I had saved the story on got erased when my mom's b/f unknowingly stole it and copied his own stuff on it. Pissed me off. We've also had a bit of family problems so that really put me down. My best friend is on the verge of a nervous breakdown so I'm trying to help her out as well. I have no idea when my next post will be. School is driving me insane. I'm the prop person in a play and our rehearsals are every night on weekdays and sometimes weekends. Starting Monday we have to work until 9:00 PM so we'll be ready for Friday. We're really horrible.
As for my other story, I really am sorry to those of you waiting. I'm so busy working on this one that I haven't got time. I haven't quit, though. Plus I want a more angsty story, like this one. Well, enough of my rambling. Don't let me hold you from reading on.
Characters are OOC
Rating: Rated 'R' for language and some gore.
Disclaimer: Although I wish I owned the characters, I only own one. Don't sue.
Chapter 3: Are You Blind?!
Snape finally got tired of his grading so he slowly stood up and strode into his room. As he passed by Harry he somehow knew that he wouldn't be getting his normal amount of sleep that night. He knew that the mild Dreamless Sleep Potion would soon wear off and he would be awoken immediately. He sighed and crawled underneath his black quilt, giving one last look at the pallid face across the room.
As Snape predicted, Harry began to have nightmares. At first they were strange dreams that one usually has. It started with Ron in a dress, saying "Let's go for a swim." Then he faded out and Harry was left in a darkness he couldn't describe.
All-of-a-sudden he felt very cold and sore. He tried to move but found he couldn't as he was bound by invisible ropes. He also found that he couldn't breath very well, so he began to panic. He heard screams from far away; his own screams from many pain-filled nights. He also heard the punches and slaps that were delivered to him by his uncle. Each time he felt the stings.
As hot tears rolled down his face he started to feel lightheaded from lack of air. This caused more tears and labored breathing. "Please," he tried to say, but it only came out as an unintelligible muffled sound. Just as he felt he would pass out, which was odd since he was already asleep, he felt his binds loosening.
He was shifted easily onto his back and he took in fast, short breaths as if he had just run a mile. This seemed to make him feel worse so his breathing became more rapid. He heard a voice calling his name from afar. It was a familiar voice, and it was neither harsh nor soothing; somewhere in between.
Harry tried to float toward the voice but he couldn't. He felt his eyes flutter open but all he saw was darkness. He didn't really feel awake, either. Just somewhere in unconsciousness. He felt himself sit up and reach for something in the air. He then saw what he was reaching at and yanked his hand back.
A person, or what used to be a person rather, was floating in the air. This thing scared Harry so much that he cried out. It had completely white eyes, black stringy hair on half of it's head, the other side covered in matted hair, blood, dirt, and slime. It's face and body was a mess of sickening, peeling flesh and bone all covered in blood, dirt, and pus. It was wearing almost completely threadbare robes in which the color was completely unidentifiable.
The thing began to twitch, as if by electric shock. Spit slid down it's mouth and onto the floor. Then it gave an awful roar. Harry screamed an unearthly, ear-shattering scream and started awake. Although his eyes were already open they seemed to pop open again.
Harry was shaking violently and his heart felt like it would jump right out of his chest. He saw Snape in front of him with a strange look in his eyes. "Are you awake now?" he asked in a low voice. Harry nodded, eyes wide. He looked to the spot where he saw the zombie but didn't see anything.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw something black and he jumped like he had been shot. "Relax, it's just an old pile of robes." Snape said, picking up what Harry thought was the zombie and tossing it somewhere else.
Snape handed Harry his glasses and stood to get a potion. Harry forcefully grabbed Snape's arm and frantically shook his head. "Potter, I'm just going to get a Calming Potion." he reasoned, annoyed. Harry still didn't let go of his arm. Snape sighed. "You're being ridiculous Potter! But fine, if you don't want a Calming Potion I won't get one."
After a few minutes of silence Snape crouched down in front of Harry and began to talk to him. Harry continued to stare at that one spot. Snape raised his hand to gently grab Harry's chin so he would talk to him. Harry saw Snape's hand and winced ever-so-slightly. Snape noticed and lowered his hand, realizing his mistake.
Snape didn't say anything, he just stared. Harry half-sheepishly looked up. After yet another moment of silence Snape briskly stood up. "Potter, I think I'll be going back to bed. Do try not to wake me again over a silly dream." Harry suddenly felt very stupid and offended at the same time. Was it his fault that a demon decided to visit him?
Harry soon forgot his anger when the lights went out and he clenched his eyes closed so he couldn't see that horrible figure again. It was nearly pitch black and he was terrified. 'What if that thing comes back? ' Harry kept thinking. He prayed that he'd fall asleep soon.
Harry traced the cuts on his arms with his fingers. As weird as it sounded, he found it soothing. He had done them over the summer whenever he could. It wasn't always easy to find something sharp when he was locked up. He eventually got a shard of glass from when he uncle smashed a bottle over his head. Of course, it didn't make very clean cuts but the pain was just as intense as a razor, even more so.
When his uncle found the glass ,though, it was immediately taken away. Harry had to use his broken nails instead. He didn't particularly like that because the pain was too intense. He could barely even break the skin.
Harry fell asleep on this dark thoughts. He awoke the next morning feeling very groggy and angry. He had already started a bad day with sleeping in his glasses. They were heavily smudged by his tossing and turning the previous night. He tried to clean them but it just made it worse. "Piece of shit glasses!" Harry cursed under his breath, He threw the glasses down angrily. He then spotted his wand on a table and hit himself in the head. "Duh!" he said, grabbing his wand and saying the spell to clean his glasses. "Much better." he mumbled.
As he stood to get up, he felt a strong wave of vertigo. He had to sit back down or he would fall over. "Lack of food, Potter, tends too make one dizzy." Snape said from out of nowhere. "Really?" Harry asked very sarcastically. He was very angry at himself and Snape. For Snape because he had more-or-less forced Harry to tell him, or rather, show him what his uncle had done to him. He was mad at himself for actually giving in to him. He could've escaped if he wanted to. He had done wand less magic before, why couldn't he last night? He was angry enough.
If Snape noticed Harry's rudeness he didn't indicate it. The same impassive face remained. "Why are you even awake this early Potter? Need some attention from your loyal fans?" Snape asked, as usual, snidely.
Harry, already furious, drew to the bait. "What do you even know?" Harry asked angrily.
"I know what I see, Potter, and I'd have to say that you are a spoiled brat." Snape answered in a calm voice.
"Have you seen nothing? Don't tell me you didn't see anything last night!" Harry yelled.
"Who's to say that you didn't do anything to earn what your relatives did to you? For all I know, you needed the discipline to keep you in line."
Harry snapped his mouth shut and then reopened it, standing up. "You know what Snape? Fuck you. Fuck whatever you say because you're right. Maybe I did deserve it." Harry said in a dangerously low voice and glaring daggers at the professor. Harry could tell he was taken aback. Harry brushed past him and walked out of the room. On his way out of the office he spotted a clock that read 6:07.
Trekking down the hallway he realized that he didn't even know where he was going. Getting even more frustrated he turned and punched the wall as hard as he could. He didn't even wince as pain shot into his hand and seemed to be released with the blood that now stained his knuckles.
He felt like screaming at the top of his lungs at all the people who did him wrong, Snape on the top of his list at the moment. Instead he just let out a low growl that seemed to reflected on how he felt.
Harry ended up in the Great Hall. He was very grateful for the lack of people. Looking up at the Head Table he noticed Knowles looking at him evilly. 'Damn, this guy's almost as bad as Snape.' Harry thought, annoyed.
He looked at the food in front of him and blanched. He wasn't the least bit hungry. Instead he waited for Knowles to finally look away from him and snatched up the knife that was near a plate. He carefully put it into his pocket and casually walked out of the Great Hall.
Once outside in the hallway again he walked as fast as he could to the haunted girls bathroom. As usual, water was all over the floor. He did a quick check to see if anybody was in the bathroom before pulling the razor-sharp knife out of his pocket and rolling his sleeve all the way up to his shoulder. He pressed the tip of the knife to his upper arm and began sliding it down. "What're you doing?" Myrtle boomed from out of nowhere. This startled Harry so much that he accidentally pushed the tip in farther than intended. Blood seeped out and rolled down his arm.
"Damn it Myrtle! What does it look like I'm doing? Harry nearly shouted. The ghost's eyes went wide and then a maniacal look spread across her face and she grinned at him. "Are you trying to kill yourself?" she asked with glee. Harry sighed.
"No I'm not trying to kill myself." he explained. Myrtle's face went somber again.
"Oh. I thought you were." she said, floating into one of the stalls and disappearing. Harry shook his head and almost laughed. 'Leave it to her to try to get someone to kill themselves just for her sake.' Harry thought comically.
The smile died from his face as he remembered why he was even there in the first place. He saw the blood trickling down his arm and began to panic. He had never cut himself that bad before. What was he going to do?
He sprinted into one of the stalls and grabbed a handful of tissue paper. Applying pressure to his arm via the tissue, he waited for the blood to stop flowing from the wound. As he splashed water on his pale face he glanced at his watch. 6:15. What could he do to pass some time? Maybe go sit by the lake? 'Yeah,' he thought.'That sounds good.' Although he wasn't sure if he was allowed to be out this early. Shrugging his shoulders he continued walking out of the bathroom.
After quietly making his way toward the lake he sat down on a big boulder sticking out of the ground. Although he tried not to, he began thinking about his past summer. How horribly his uncle had treated him. How could someone treat someone else so badly? Sirius wouldn't have down that. 'Maybe this is my punishment for getting him killed.' He thought to himself.
"I really wish you were here right now Sirius." Harry said, throwing a stone into the rippling water. "You could tell me how everything will be all right and that I could come live with you." Harry paused, looking at a random black bird on the ground. He suddenly grew angry. "God dammit Sirius! Why did you have to fucking die? You just left me here to rot! Thanks to you, I'll never be happy again!" Harry stopped ranting. "No, that's my fault." he whispered inaudibly.