Edonil: Me again! People seemed to like the last chapter... This one is much better, I assure you. I even know where I'm going... sort of. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own FFIX. If you haven't figured that out yet, I have to wonder about your level of intelligence.

Claimer: Crims is mine. Sarah is too, I suppose, but she's little and stupid. Crims is cool. And Crims is mine.

To Change

Chapter Six

It had been two weeks. Two glorious weeks. Two weeks alone with Crims. Kuja was very happy. No, not happy: ecstatic. He had a girlfriend, somebody didn't want him to die, and he most definitely wasn't gay. Three wonderful points, all centered on Crims.

Unfortunately, that was about to change. They could see Alexandria. It was mid-afternoon; they should be able to reach Alexandria by nightfall. Then Kuja would have to go see Zidane, and Crims would have to do whatever it was she came here for.

Speaking of which,

"Crims, why are you going to Alexandria, anyway? You never told me."

"Oh, I have a job here."

"Ok." Then the information sunk in. "Crims, aren't you an assassin?"

"Yeah."

"Interesting." Kuja decided that after all the mayhem he had caused, Crims was allowed to make a living. One tiny assassination couldn't be that bad. Probably just some stuck-up noble. "Who is it?" Kuja asked, more out of curiosity than anything else.

"Uh... Just a second." Crims dug a hand into her pocket, and pulled out a piece of paper. "Let's see. It's... Zidane Tribal, age twenty-one, Prince-Consort to Queen Garnet til Alexandros. You ever heard of him?"

Kuja stopped dead. Zidane. She was going to assassinate Zidane. How? Why? Who had hired her? Why?

"Uh, Crims, you know, I really don't think you should assassinate him," Kuja said quickly. He did sort of owe Zidane his life. If Zidane hadn't gone back for him, would the Eidolons have thought he was anything worth saving?

"Why?"

"You just... shouldn't."

"But I won't get paid until I deliver his head to my employer."

"I'll... I'll pay you the same amount to not kill him!"

"Ok, what's this all about? Why don't you want me to kill him?"

"Uh... He's my... brother."

"You brother? Oh. You know, I very rarely turn from a job."

"Please? He's really not a bad sort."

"Hmm..." Crims sat down on a rock. Kuja watched her. She was taking a long time to decide. Anxious, he started pacing. Why wouldn't she just tell him? Why-

"Ok, I guess I've let you stew long enough. I agree. Does your offer of money still hold?"

"Yes..."

"Oh, good! I suppose I can collect later." Kuja shook his head in wonder. Crims was just... Crims. "Now, I believe you wanted to go to Alexandria?"

"Yes."

"To see this Zidane guy?"

"Yes."

"Can you say anything besides yes?"

"Yes?" Kuja laughed. The expression on her face was priceless. "By the way, could you please tell me who hired you to kill Zidane?"

"No. I never reveal my employers' identities. It's bad for business."

"Please?"

"No. Live with it. Shall we be off?"

"Very well, M'Lady Crims."

---

It was dark by the time they reached Alexandria. Crims hurried off to an inn, saying she hated castles, and that she'd see him in the morning- or else! Kuja saw to it she was comfortable, then went to Alexandria Castle.

Knowing his appearance could get him killed, Kuja had long since bought a hooded cloak. But when he reached the castle gates, requesting entrance, he realized a major flaw in his plan.

"Please remove your hood."

"Um..." Kuja thought quickly. He couldn't do that; the guards would definitely recognize him. "I... can't."

"Then I can't let you in."

"Oh. Erm..." Kuja racked his brain. "I believe... Prince-Consort Zidane knows I'm coming."

"He didn't tell me that."

"Maybe he forgot."

"I don't think so." The guard tried to peer into his hood. Kuja hurriedly stepped back. "Who are you, anyway?"

"Um... One of Zi- Prince-Consort Zidane's friends."

"Which one?"

"Which one? Erm..." What were their names? Their boss... Biku? Beku? Who knew? Then there was that ugly one, and the... other one, and... the girl, and... What was the one with the blindfold? Blike? No. Black? No. Blank? That was it! "I'm Blank."

"Oh. I get it. Still in trouble with Steiner, Blank?"

"Um, yeah," Kuja agreed, although he had no idea what the soldier was talking about.

"You can go in, then."

"Thanks." Kuja hurried into the castle.

He hadn't been here in a while. Hopefully he still knew where everything was... He got across the moat, and started up the main path, when a voice called out, "HALT!"

Kuja winced. Steiner. He'd hoped to get to Zidane without meeting this bloke first.

"Sir or Madame, please remove your hood." Kuja did no such thing. "I said remove your hood! Now! Who are you? Why are you here?" He'd started jumping up and down. It would be rather comical if Kuja was inclined to laugh at that moment. Which he was. "Why are you laughing? You beast! In the name of Queen Garnet til Alexandros, I arrest-"

"Steiner, what are you doing?" Both Kuja and Steiner turned to see General Beatrix.

"Uh... I'm... arresting this person-"

"That's nice. Why?" Steiner muttered something incoherent about "suspicious" and "dangerous". General Beatrix rolled her eyes. "Steiner, you can't go arresting every person who wears a hood." Turning to Kuja, she asked, "Who are you, and where are you going?"

"I am going to see Prince-Consort Zidane, Lady General," Kuja said politely. So long as he was polite, she might not ask questions...

"And who are you?"

"A... friend of his."

"I know you voice from somewhere..." Steiner had finally stopped jumping. "Where do I know you from...?"

"Perhaps I could take my leave of you, as you are acquainted with me?"

"Big words... Eloquent... Sounds really smart... That voice...! Are you... you...?" Kuja had a feeling Steiner had figured it out. The bloke was smarter than Kuja had given him credit for.

"Am I whom?" Kuja asked. Until he was sure...

"K-K-Kuja?" the big knight stuttered. Beatrix whirled around to face Kuja. Taking a step, she reached forward and yanked off Kuja's hood. "Die, villain!" Steiner cried, drawing his sword. Kuja calmly side-stepped, commenting,

"This is why I wore a hood. I was worried my reception would be this... warm. General Beatrix, could you please lead me to Zidane?"

"No, villain! You may never get near Zidane!" Kuja side-stepped to avoid another of Steiner's wild blows. "Stand still!" Again, Kuja was forced to move.

"Captain Steiner, this could get very tiring very quickly," Kuja pointed out calmly. Beatrix attempted to hide a smile. "If you wouldn't mind, I have travelled a long way to see him, and I would like to do so." There was really no point in getting excited. Kuja knew very well that he had enough magic to blow Steiner off the face of the planet if he so chose.

"And let you kill him? Never!" Another wild swing.

"Steiner, I am not going to kill him," Kuja insisted, his patience thinning. "I merely want to talk to him. If I wanted to kill him, I would have blasted my way in here, and if you tried to stop me, like you are now, I would have fried you, and probably General Beatrix too, and marched in there without any trouble. The fact that I haven't should say something."

"You villain, you'll-"

"Steiner, shut up!" Beatrix interrupted. "I think we ought to give him the benefit of the doubt. Right this way, Kuja." She then swirled around and started walking, leaving Steiner standing there with his mouth open.

"Good night, Captain Steiner," Kuja said politely before following the smarter of the two leading fighters.

---

"Excuse me? Dagger, Zidane, there is someone here to see you."

"What about me?"

"I suppose he's here to see you, too, Sarah."

"Send them in, Beatrix." Zidane echoed Dagger's sigh. Another visitor. All they ever seemed to do was talk to people. Zidane would rather spend his time with his family, and he knew Dagger agreed.

Then the visitor entered. And Zidane nearly fainted.

It was Kuja.

"Kuja!" Dagger exclaimed, immediately pulling Sarah close. Sarah made a sound that sounded remarkably like a chocobo squawking. The noise seemed to startle Kuja.

"Hello Zidane, Dagger."

"Uh... Hi Kuja. This is a... surprise." Zidane was honestly at a loss for words. "I thought you were dead."

"You weren't that far off."

Dagger seemed to recover some. "Kuja, would you care to sit?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Would you care for anything to eat?"

"No, thank you."

"Who are you?" That was Sarah.

"I'm Kuja. And you are?"

"I'm Sarah. I'm a princess."

"I'm very pleased to meet you, Princess Sarah."

"I'm very... What you said. Only Kuja, not Princess Sarah." The three adults smiled.

"Sarah, why don't you go to bed," Dagger suggested firmly.

"Daddy said he'd read me a story first!"

"I will in a minute, Sarah. First I want to talk to Kuja."

"What if I'm not tired?"

"Go to bed, Sarah." That was Dagger, doing her best mother-in-a-temper. Sarah squeaked, and ran off.

"So, Kuja, where have you been?" Zidane asked. How had he not seen Kuja before this? It had been five years...

"I was in a coma."

"Really? Were you hurt?"

"No, the Eidolons didn't trust me."

"So... Do they trust you now?" Dagger asked, looking a bit disturbed.

"No. I'm on probation. It's a rather long story."

Zidane began, "Well, we have plenty of-"

"DADDY!!!"

"Never mind. Can you stay a few days?"

"Of course!"

"Ok. Dagger, there's a spare room, right?"

"Yes."

"Ok." Zidane walked to the door and opened it. "Take Kuja to the guest room," he told the soldier standing there. The soldier frowned for a moment, then looked over Zidane's shoulder at Kuja. And squeaked. And nodded. Turning back to Kuja, he said, "She'll take you? Do you need anything?"

"No."

"Ok then. I'd better go see Sarah. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

---

Kuja examined his room, all the while thinking. A better reception than he'd hoped. Dagger hadn't trusted him, which was to be expected. Steiner hadn't trusted him, which was also to be expected. Beatrix had, which was a pleasant surprise, and Zidane had, which Kuja had been unsure about. Then there was Sarah, who was a surprise in herself. A kid. Zidane had spawned a child. What was the world coming to?

There was a knock on the door. Kuja opened it, to reveal a soldier. "A letter just arrived for you, sir," the soldier said, handing Kuja a piece of parchment.

"Thank-" The soldier was already gone. "you." Shrugging, Kuja shut the door and sat down in a nearby chair to read.

Dearest Kuja,

As you are no doubt aware, I have not been feeling up to snuff for the past couple of days. While you were visiting your brother, I visited a doctor. It appears I am with child.

Talk to you soon!

Crims

Kuja couldn't take it. He fainted.

Edonil: I told you it was interesting. Any comments? Please read and review!