Edonil: I'm back! Did I shock you last week? I hope so. I did enjoy writing that… Oh, and in case you're wondering what exactly Crims looks like, I drew a picture of her. There's a link in my bio. In case you're lazy, here's another one:
Oh, and I apologize for the soap-opera-ish turn this has taken. I really didn't mean for this to happen! But I'm currently in a play called 'Cabaret'. Ever heard of it? It's a Broadway musical. My school is performing it. In two weeks. And I play the part of a stripper and a prostitute. So my mind has been on acting a lot lately. Once again, I apologize!
Disclaimer: Surely you know the drill. I do not own FFIX. I wish I did, but I don't.
Claimer: Crims is so mine! I created her! She is mine! My minion! insert evil cackling here Yes, I know, I'm crazy… Oh yeah, Sarah is also mine.
To Change
Chapter Seven
When Kuja woke up, he was surprised to see sunlight streaming through his window. Odd. He wasn't a heavy sleeper…
But then, he hadn't been sleeping, precisely. He'd been unconscious, but for a different reason.
He was going to have to talk to Crims. Why had she made his life so difficult? Curse her and her beautiful red hair, her full figure, her flirtatious eyes, her- No! Don't think of that! Think of something else! Anything else!
Kuja got off of the chair with a groan. Sleeping in a chair was not comfortable. Glancing at a mirror, he realized his hair was in desperate need of help. He looked like he'd slept on his head!
Grumbling, Kuja stood in front of a mirror, carefully crafting his hair with his magic. This was a very delicate process. Each hair had to be moved individually, and skilfully put in its place. It was a good thing he didn't have regular hair; if his hair was that thin stuff most humans had, he'd go insane!
Carefully putting the last pieces of hair back into place, Kuja examined the rest of him. Clothes: dirty. Hopefully he'd find some bleach in this palace to deal with his clothes. The dirt stains might never come out! But there was bleach in a palace, right? I mean, Queen Garnet wore white sometimes… How did her shirt stay white while she was adventuring? Kuja had been able to fly back to his Desert Palace and change whenever he wanted, but Garnet couldn't return here! How had she done it?
Never mind the colour right now. What about the tears? Calling on his magic, he managed to get his clothes into some kind of order. He'd deal with the dratted stuff properly later. Now about his make-up…
The stuff had gotten a bit smudged. Come to think about it, that was an understatement; it was a lot smudged. There was a tap in his room, so Kuja quickly washed his face. Now to make it look more interesting… After several minutes of searching, Kuja managed to find some cosmetics, hidden away in a cupboard. Good. Half an hour later, he was presentable.
That done, Kuja left his room in search of food. If he was a guest, he deserved to be fed. Luckily, Kuja had spent quite a bit of time here, so he knew where the kitchens were. He even managed to get there without attracting too many funny looks. He couldn't avoid them all, though. He was doomed. He wasn't going to be accepted, was he?
Once he had completed breakfast, Kuja considered his options. He could go find Crims. He had to talk to her. But he'd have to talk to Zidane some time, and explain where he'd been… But then Crims would worry…
His internal struggle lasted several minutes. Finally, he decided to write Crims a note, reassuring her, because she was no doubt scared by her pregnancy, and tell her he'd be there soon. Then he'd go talk to Zidane. When he was done talking to Zidane, he'd go find Crims. Finding a pen and some paper, Kuja scribbled- well, technically he never scribbled, he wrote elegantly- a note. He convinced one of the soldiers to deliver it, first making them swear on pain of death not to read it. This soldier was one who had been on Queen Brahne's ship when she died; this soldier agreed most readily. Just to be sure, Kuja put a mild magical protection on it; he'd know when it was opened. That done, he went in search of his brother.
It didn't take long to find Zidane's whereabouts. Or rather, it didn't take long to find Sarah. The brat was practically bouncing off the walls. Truth be told, she was jumping on her bed. Kuja was suddenly reminded of why he hated children.
"Sarah, have you seen your father?"
"It's Princess Sarah."
"I'm sorry. Princess Sarah, have you seen your father?"
"Maybe."
"Could you tell me where he is?"
"Maybe."
"Only maybe?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"I don't like you."
"Really? And why is that?'
"Daddy was supposed to read me a story last night. You made him late."
"I apologize profusely."
"What does that mean?"
"Uh… It means I wish to speak with your father."
"Daddy's not here."
"He's not?" Kuja considered throttling the child, but decided against it; it might be worth being kicked out of Alexandria to rid the world of this nuisance, but only just. Instead, he asked, "Where is he?"
"I dunno."
"Are you sure?"
"Maybe."
"You little-" Kuja managed to calm himself down. "I'm your uncle. Did you parents tell you?"
"This morning."
"And do you know what uncles do?"
"No."
"They spoil their nieces. But I can't spoil you if you don't cooperate."
"Oh." Sarah stopped jumping so she could think. Kuja could almost hear the sound of unused wheels turning in her brain. "He went to my Auntie." She started jumping on her bed again.
"Your Auntie?"
"Auntie Mikoto. She lives a long way away. Daddy said he was going to be back by tonight, and he's bringing Auntie Mikoto with him."
"Thank you for cooperating, Sarah."
"Now will you spoil me?"
"Maybe later."
"That's not fair!"
"You took a long time to cooperate."
"I hate you!"
"That's nice. Stop jumping on your bed." Kuja quickly turned away and left the room. Stupid child.
---
"Excuse me, innkeeper."
"Yeah?"
"I'm looking for a… friend. I was wondering what room she's staying in. Her name is Crims."
"Room four."
"Thank you." Kuja wanted to dash up the stairs, but his training and etiquette held him back. Instead, he glided stately up the stairs. And dashed down the hall when no one was there.
He knocked on the door. "Go away!" Crims yelled from inside.
"Crims, it's me!"
"Oh!" Crims opened the door. "Kuja! Come in, come in! I thought you weren't coming 'till later."
"Zidane wasn't there, so I came here instead. Are you feeling alright?"
"As well as to be expected. I'll be fine. Stop worrying." She definitely sounded fine.
"I'm not worrying."
"Yes you are. Your brow is creased, and your voice sounds strained. I've always noticed that all men get overreact when women get pregnant. Funny, especially since it's the women who have babies."
"I'm not overreacting! I'm concerned! Are you sure you're alright? And what do you mean 'all men'?"
"All my past boyfriends have reacted the same way you are."
"Past…!"
"Ah, Kuja, you are so naive and innocent. But I'm not. Now, what are we going to do?"
"Huh?" Something was wrong with this. She was supposed to be freaking out, and Kuja was supposed to calm her. But that wasn't happening…
"Do you want me to have an abortion or not? I'm fine with it either way."
"Uh…"
"I'll take that as an 'I don't know'. Do you want me to choose?"
"Um… Sure."
"Ok then. Are we going to continue dating?"
"Uh… I assume so."
"Alright then. Will you be living at the palace?"
"Yes…"
"Alright, but I expect you to visit me often! Are you going to tell you brother about me?"
"Um… I don't know."
"Poor Kuja! You seem very inexperienced. Is this your first time dealing with pregnancy?"
"Um… Yes."
"Poor Kuja!" She made annoying sounds like women make around small animals. Kuja glared at her. She laughed. "Well, I suppose I'll just have to teach you. Now, you'd better be getting back to the palace! We wouldn't want you to miss Zidane! And if you come by tomorrow, I'll tell you what I've decided about our child." And with that, she ushered Kuja out of her room, leaving him standing alone in the hall, bewildered and confused.
"I think she's trying to find ways to mentally disturb me," he muttered as he headed back to the palace.
Edonil: What think you? R&R, and I might get another chapter done this week!