Chapter Four

Kate sobbed into her pillow. She wasn't quite sure what had just happened, only that it had, and it seemed dreadfully wrong. Dad wasn't supposed to act like that, wasn't supposed to touch her like that, wasn't supposed to force her to touch him like that. It didn't seem right. And it couldn't really be right. Dad was so great. He was alwaythere for her when she needed help with school. Or when the boys were picking on her. He was such a great dad. She was his only little girl, but dads didn't treat their daughters like that. Did they?

Kate could feel the warm wetness of her tears soak into her pillow. Dad had drunkinly staggered out of her room just a few minutes before. Kate had gathered her clothes and looked at them in distaste. It disgusted her to put them on again. She found a jumper in her closet, and put it on, before the boys came back from wherever they had gone. Then she had laid on her bed, and cried with all her heart.

Presently, she heard footsteps in the hall. They paused at her door, then entered. Kate froze. It wasn't Dad coming back for more of whatever he wanted, was it?

"Kate?" a soft young voice inquired.

She let out a sigh of relief. Brett!

The young boy came to her. "Mom sent me by the library to find you, but you weren't there. Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm okay, just tired."

As young as he was, the choked voice didn't go past the concerend brother. He put a hand on her shoulder. "You sure, sis?"

She flinched with his touch, and reluctantly he removed his hand. Kate sat up and looked at her brother.

"Brett, I think somethings wrong with Dad."

"Dad? Why?"

She paused. She shouldn't tell Brett this, it would just worry him. He wouldn't understand. Nobody needed to know about this. Maybe it was supposed to happen. Maybe they all knew about it. But still, something didn't feel right. "Well, I'm not sure."

"Well, anyway, we are supposed to spend the night at the neighbors'." Brett said, puzzled by his sister's attitude. She nodded meekly. He cast one more glance at his sister before following her out the door.

The family that the children were staying at was little more than two blocks away. The nieghborhood was a quaint, in an older part of town. These neighbors Kate herself did not know, but she knew that mother knew Mrs. Phearson well, and that Greg was in the same class as their only child, Nick.

Kate followed Brett, her book she had grabbed off the ngithstand in her hand. But she payed little attention to it. Her thoughs were occupied with the incident that had occurred, ghaslty haunting her mind. She could not get away from it. The sounds, of her muffled screaming and crying, and dad's yells. The sights, Dad looking at her with something she could not distingusih. Anger, yes, but something else. The smells, the one especially of Dad's hot breath and liquor breathing on her. The touch. Kate shivered. Especially the touch of her father's rough hands as they were on her body.

"You cold, Katie?" Brett asked.

"A little," the girl replied vaguely.

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Kate woke up. She smiled, then looked around her confused. Then she remembered. Something had happened that night, something that would change her life forever. And here she was, in a strange house, with her big brothers, in sleeping bags on the floor of a living room. The Phearsons'. She could remember only faintly what had happened after she and Brett arrived last night. Just being greeted warmly by the parents in the family. Nick was looking over some papers with Greg, and looked up at her for a second and smiled at her. He then resumed pointing out something to her brother.

Kate felt a poke in her side. "Ouch, Brett." She groaned.

"Hey, I'm Doug, and you need to hurry up. We have to get to school sometime today." Her brother's face peered over her with a smile, but she could see the worried look in his face.

……………………………………………………………………………………….

After school, the Sanders children returned to their home. Their mother hugged them tightly, but made no mention of what had happened just the night before.

Dinner rollled around, and Dad had not come home yet. The two oldest boys exchanged glances, Doug giving his brother a firm nod. Soon after the dishes had been washed, Brett left to finish a report, and Kate retired to her own room.

"Mom?" Doug began, looking uncertainly at Greg.

"Yes?"

"About last night…and dad…and uncle Jack…and all—"

"What about it? Everythings okay."

"Mom," said Greg, putting a hand on his mother's shoulder. "Its not okay, you said it was an emergency. We saw Dad walk in, we smelled him. I'm old enough to know the smell of liquor. Dad has been drinking. You can't hide it from us, you really can't."

Maria sighed. "I'm sorry, my boys. I don't know what to tell you. Of course you know."

Doug patted his mother. "Dad's not going to hurt any of us, if that's what is bothering you."

Maria smiled weakly. "I don't think he is. We just need to be careful. I'd prefer you children to be in your room before your father comes home. Its for the best."

"And you, Mom?" Greg was really concerened for his mother.

She laughed. "Hey, your father loves you, you know that, right?"

Maria patted her sons on the head, and went upstairs, leaving the boys to look at each other despairingly.

………………………………………………………………

It had gone on a year. Perry coming home late. Usually the children won't around, and Maria had found it wise to make hersefl unavailable as well. No one knew what went on behind the doors of Kate's room some late nights when Perry came home. A year of torture. Kate was almost thirteen. She knew what was happening now, but she couldn't stop it. It would hurt the family even more. Better her go through endless suffering, then the whole family be torn apart by her father's mistakes.

The Phearsons were always there. Nick was over often. He was a nice lad of fourteen, with short blond hair and large blue kind eyes. His smile always encouraged Kate. He would often help her with her school work, because now she never trusted to go near Dad with it. Of course, Nick did not know that was why she reveled in his attentions.

"So, you take the variable in this equation, and you do what?" Nick asked her, as they were seated alone at his kitchen table. She had stopped by for a few minutes to ask some questions. But she seemed to have a hard time to concertrate"

"Hey, Katie, whats up? You don't seem yourself today."

Kate shurgged, and Nicke prodded her further. "I'm okay, Nick, but thanks." Nick just nodded, and put a hand on her face. "Hey, whatever is bothering you, you can talk to me about it. You are one of my best friends."

Kate smiled. "Am I really? I've never really had a best friend before, except Brett and Doug and Greg."

Nick hugged her. "You bet, Katie! In fact, I think when I'm out of school, I'm going to marry you."

Kate looked up at him, and smiled. "That would be nice. We could have lots and lots of children, cause you'd be a wonderful father."

"I'm going to join the Marines, and then we can get married." Nick beamed. Kate nodded. Brett looked up to Nick so much because of his dreams to join the military. Brett was bent on following him.

"If we have a boy, we have to name him Jacob."

"Why Jacob?"

Kate just grinned. "It's a perfect name!"