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James

I opened my eyes, but saw nothing. Darkness. Matched my emotions, really. I lifted my head and look around. Somehow I managed to fall off the couch and cocoon myself up in my blanket. I always did have weird sleeping habits.

I untangled myself and stood up, yawning and stretching. I came in so late last night I didn't want to disturb anyone, so I just slept on the couch. I don't know why I stayed up so late searching for her, it's not like she'd be up that late. But I guess there was a glimmer of hope inside me that wished she was up. Something I've learned over thhe years: hope is useless. It just gets you all worked up over something to find out soon later it's nothing like you thought it would be. Hope. Feh.

I reminded myself of someone Lily was telling me about one time. Well, it was a play actually, but I was referring to a character in the play. Mr. Scrouge I think his name was. I remembered because I thought his "Bah humbug!" phrase was neat. Not the most cheerful, but neat. I wondered how someone could be so grumpy over something so wonderful. Now I know how he feels. Except at the end of his story is a happy ending. Happy ending. Feh. Nothing was too happy about my ending to last night.

I must've searched every nook and cranny, every secret passage, every usual and unusual hang out and I still didn't find her. I would've used our map, but unfortunately Moony keeps it when not in use (incase Padfoot and I get in trouble with a teacher and they search us) and I couldn't find him either.

So, like countless times before, here I am. Dead end. No Lily.

I held back a frustrated yell and thought about going upstairs to change, but decided to go down to breakfast in my pajamas. Who cares? I sure as hell don't. I made my way down to the Great Hall for breakfast, hand shoved in my pocket, grasping onto the letter. No, it was more than just a letter. It was reassurance, comfort, love. It was Lily. I still couldn't believe the letter though. After seven years, she chooses now to admit to me she returns my feelings? How long has she loved me back? Is this even her letter or a cruel, cruel prank?

I sighed in frustration and collapsed into my seat at Gryffindor table, looking around in hopes I'd see that familiar red head of hair and smiling emerald eyes, but no such luck. I've noticed luck wasn't a strong point of mine at the moment. I did however see Padfoot, Moony, and Wormtail sitting a couple seats down from me. I really didn't feel like pretending to be happy or "talking about it" as Moony always likes to say, so I got up without breakfast and went to the Entrance Hall to sit and think.

Tonight was ball night. I needed to find Lily now more than ever. Does she have a date? If not, what about Brooke? Should I dump her? What if I pour my heart out to Lily and ask her to the ball, and she didn't even write the letter? The questions swarmed in my head, making it hard to concentrate on much of anything.

"James?"

Could it be?

"James...?"

I know that voice.

"Lily?" I exclaimed, jumping to my feet.

"Who?" asked Brooke, taking my hand. "Are you feeling okay?"

I looked into Brooke's eyes and my heart sank. I must've been wanting to see Lily so badly I mistook Brooke for her. Damn.

"Yeah, fine, just a head cold," I mumbled.

"Aw, hopefully you'll be better by tonight. Need anything?"

I shook my head, even though it was a lie. I did need something. Lily.

"Look Brooke, I need to, er, get some stuff ready for tonight. I'll see you later?" I asked, kissing her cheek.

"Yeah, okay," she said, trying to smile.

I quickly exited out of there before I had time to feel guilty for leading Brooke on. I really should let her go, it's not fair. Not fair to her or me. But I don't think I can take another heart break, even if it's not my heart breaking.

I walked back up to the common room, hoping and praying Lily was there. I looked everywhere, but she was no where in sight. I looked to the stairs of the girls dorm. Damn those founders! Cursing under my breath I plopped down in an empty chair in the corner, away from the small groups who hadn't gone down to breakfast yet.

Where is that girl? I don't think I've ever wanted to see someone so badly before. It was tearing me up. She was so close, but so far away. Somewhere in the castle, but where? If only she knew I was looking for her. Damn it Lily!

I racked my brain. I needed to talk to her. I looked everywhere and found nothing. The Quidditch pitch, although I doubt she'd be there, the dungeons, the towers, the empty corridors, the common room, classrooms, hell, I even checked the girls loos! Where else hadn't I checked? Nowhere! Well, I'd checked all the places she'd have access to anyways. All but one.

The only place she could be was the girls dorms. I cursed the founders once again, glaring at the staircase. The only thing to do would be to sit here and wait for her. I'd wait forever if I had to.

There was only one problem. I couldn't wait forever.

Tonight was the ball.

I was running out of time...