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Lily

It was the day of the ball. I'd already made my mind up last night that I was going to stay in my dorm all day in hopes to avoid James. I really didn't feel like seeing him with his girlfriend, or even taking the chance that he read my letter and made me the laughing stock of the school. No, I was playing it safe. Cin was against it, but I just pretended to sleep in so she'd leave me alone. I love her, but sometimes I know what's best for myself better than she does.

Anyways, I was reading a novel when I heard a tap on the dormitory door.

"Come in!"

The door opened and to my (great) surprise, in walked Professor McGonagall. What in the world was she doing here? Was she allowed to be here? I never heard of a teacher in the dorms room yes, dorms no.

"Goodness Ms. Evans, I've been looking all over for you! I'd think on the day of the ball you'd be out socializing," McGonagall said.

"Oh, no, I'm just catching up on some stuff," I said a bit more quickly than I would've liked.

"Well, Professor Dumbledore would like a word with you. Come with me please."

The look of surprise I tried to disguise must've shown through.

"Don't worry, you're not in trouble," she said, slightly smiling.

Nonetheless, I was still nervous. I book marked my book and slipped out of the dorm behind Professor McGonagall. Why did Professor Dumbledore need to see me? What did I do? I racked and racked my brain, but I couldn't think of anything. I hadn't missed an assignment, I didn't skip any watch posts...what was it?

"Acid pop," Professor McGonagall said.

"What?"

We had come to a stop in front of a stone gargoyle. No sooner had I questioned what Professor had said the gargoyle that was once stationary came to life before my very eyes, leaping to the side and revealing a circling stair case, much like a muggle escalator. I stepped onto it with McGonagall and was carried to the top, reaching a large oak door. Professor McGonagall hit the brass door knocker twice and I heard a click - the door had opened. She lead me inside.

So this was Dumbledore's office?

"Ah, Miss Evans. We've been waiting for you," Professor Dumbledore said, hands folded on his desk and eyes twinkling as usual.

We?

To my undisguised horror, there was James, sitting comfortably in a chair in front of Dumbledore's desk, slightly smiling at me. And I was to sit in the chair beside him. Oh. My. Gosh. Reluctantly I took my seat next to James, not even sparing him a glance. As much as I wanted to hate him, as much I wanted to completely ignore him, I couldn't. I just couldn't. It wasn't something my mind could, my heart could do. I still had feelings for him, damn it all. And boy were they feelings.

"Miss Evans?"

Professor Dumbledore's voice shook me out of my thoughts.

"Now that both of you are here, I can explain why I summoned you. As you well know, tonight is the Graduate Ball. And as you are aware, you are the resident Head Girl and Head Boy here at Hogwarts. As the Heads, I would very much appriciate it if you did two things tonight at the ball. Number one: Say a few words. I'm not asking for a Goblin Convention of 360 speech, but a few choice words on gradutation, your experience at Hogwarts, subjects along that line would be lovely. I know this is short notice, but like I said, I do not expect you to each give a three hour speech. What kind of ball would that be?" he smiled his smiley smile (which I loathe), then continued. "And, number two: kick off the festivities. I would like you two to do an opening dance. You do not have to dance the whole song, just long enough to open the floor for others to join."

No way. I stared in disbelief at Dumbledore. How? Why? I had been the ideal student! I hadn't stepped a toe out of line! I turned in my assignments on time, sometimes earlier! I did extra credit on the extra credit! What had I done to deserve this?

"Well, if you both are alright with my requests, you are free to go," Dumbledore said, smiling.

No I most certainly was not alright with his requests! But did I say so? Of course not. Why? I still don't really know. I think it had to do with me being Head Girl. When accepting the title, I accepted all the responsibilities that went with it. But mostly, it was because of James. Damn my feelings!

I looked at James. He was staring at me. Shoot. I jumped to my feet and quickly walked to the door, hoping I'd be able to get out of there before he could say anything to me. The last thing I needed right now was him telling me how nonsense my letter was, how stupid I was to even think he still had feelings for me after I shot him down countless times for seven full years. My eyes were watering again. Could this get any worse?

"Lily! Hey, Lily!"

I was this close to breaking into a run down the rest of the stairs.

"C'mon Evans," James shouted.

Evans. His pet name for me. My stomach did a roller coaster. Damn!

"What?" I snapped, turning around. I wasn't going to lower my shields. I wasn't going to show him weakness. So he read my letter. So he has a girlfriend. I'm doing just fine.

Ha.

It took every ounce of strength I had not to burst out in tears when my eyes rested on him. I missed those hazel orbs, that untidy black hair, that athletic, strong body. No longer mine. Never mine. Suddenly, my eyes locked with his. I think my heart stopped.

"Evans," he said in his deep, smooth, soothing voice. I missed that voice.

"Hnm?" I said, barely audible. For some reason, I couldn't remember to be mean. I couldn't even manage distinguishable speech for that matter.

He took a step closer to me. I didn't step away. I could feel the warmth of his breath on my face, count the number of golden flecks in his eyes. It felt nice to be this near. Too bad it didn't last very long.

"Potter, Evans," came a stern voice from up the stairs. We both turned our heads to spot Professor McGonagall coming towards us. "What're you still doing here?"

"Nothing Professor, I was just asking Lily what she was going to say tonight," James said calmly. "You know, so we don't repeat each other."

"Very well, but do it somewhere else? The staircase to the Headmaster's office isn't a very commendable social spot."

James nodded and lead the way out into the corridor. My God, he was handsome.

Get a grip, girl. This is James Potter. James Potter who is no longer single.

We stood there together, out in the empty corridor, not sure of what to do next. I wanted so badly to go, to get away from all this embarrassment, this torture, but at the same time I wanted to stay and be with the man I knew I couldn't have, even if we were only standing in a corridor together. It was better than me sitting alone in my dormitory. Finally James made a move. He looked at his watch. Then he made eye contact with me. There goes my heart again. If he does much more of this, I might have a heart attack before I can even get ready for the ball.

"Well Evans, I've got to go get ready for the ball. I guess I'll see you at our dance?" he said, in a tone that I couldn't quite recognize. All I could manage was to nod. He gave me one last look that I couldn't seem to register and took off down the hall.

I stared after him, watching his perfect frame round the corner out of my sight. I gulped, forcing down a sob. What did I expect? For him to tell him he had gotten my letter, that he not only loved it, but love me? Now way. He has a girlfriend. If he felt that way about me, he wouldn't be in another relationship.

I slowly made my way up to the dorm, on my way to get ready for the ball. Silent tears fell down my cheeks and rolled off my chin.

That's exactly what I had expected. Or at least wished for.

Too bad wishes don't come true.