COUPLE HOURS LATER
Harry groaned as he opened his eyes. His head hurt horribly. Someone was holding his hand. Harry was still wearing his glasses and looked around. Meagan was the only one in the room. Harry sat up. There were no bandages...Meagan had mended everything. She was staring at him through teary eyes.
"What happened?" Harry asked as he ran a hand through his hair. Meagan sobbed and threw herself forward. She wrapped her arms around Harry and cried into his bare shoulder. Harry was shocked.
"Megs...what's going on?" Harry asked, peeling his girlfriend from him. Meagan wiped away the tears and cupped Harry's face in her hands. She kissed him passionately, tears still flowing down her face. After a few minutes, Harry managed to calm her down. She helped him out of the bed and handed him a shirt and a pair of shorts. Harry pulled these on and followed her into the living room. There were quite a few people there. Including the coach from Harry's quidditch team. Lupin was there as well, Sean and Heather...Shane, Anna, Danny boy, Lexy, Edmund and Shamus were sitting there too.
"Harry!" Lupin sighed. Everyone looked up.
"Lexy, Shamus, what are you guys doing here?" Harry asked, rubbing his head. His team mates stood.
"Are you okay mate?" Danny asked shakily. Harry nodded.
"I'm fine...what the hell happened?" He asked. Tim stepped forward.
"The Ministry rounded everyone up. Under their black robes and cloaks they were all sporting Bulgaria quidditch robes." He said, a bite of anger in his voice. Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"Bulgaria's team attacked us?" He asked. Tim shook his head.
"No...just very loyal fans. They weren't trying to kill you, just put you and Shane out of action." He explained. Harry shook his head.
"It's not even our season!" He sighed. Tim shrugged.
"This years team bites the dust, no competition. But you guys, Bulgaria must of heard you were good and wanted to put you on the 'I' list." He explained. Meagan was gripping Harry's hand painfully tight.
"Was anyone else hurt?" Harry asked. Tim shook his head.
"Sean was jumped on his way home, Danny and Edmund were ambushed as they left Diagon Alley and we are waiting for attacks on Lexy and Shamus. This is just ridiculous." He said wearily. Harry nodded. Tim turned to Meagan.
"Is there anything wrong with him?" He asked. Meagan shook her head.
"I mended his stomach and head and even his um...knee is healed." She said, waving a hand. Tim nodded.
"Harry, Shane, I've already had this talk with the others, keep an eye out. We can't afford to lose you two." He said wearily. Harry and Shane nodded and everyone left. Everyone except Lupin, Sean and Heather.
"At least they weren't Death Eaters." Harry sighed as he sat down.
Meagan was rubbing a hand down Harry's back in an affectionate way as the others talked. She could tell he was outraged.
"Harry?" Lupin asked quietly. Harry looked up.
"Could I have a quick word?" Lupin asked. Harry nodded and stood up. He led Lupin down the hall and into Harry's room. Harry sat down on the bed while Lupin sat at the computer chair.
"Sirius received the letter your friend sent. He wasn't able to come, so sent me. He is very worried..." Lupin said quietly. Harry shook his head.
"It was just some people messing around." He said wearily. Lupin was staring at Harry.
"That's not what he's worried about." He said quietly. Harry looked up. The look on Lupin's face told him that there was something he wasn't being told.
"What? Why's Sirius worried?" Harry asked. Lupin was giving Harry a pointed stare. His eyes flickered up to Harry's scar, then back to Harry. Lupin never did this...Harry was trying to figure it out.
"Voldemort?" He asked suddenly. Sirius nodded.
"He's dead!" Harry said hastily. Lupin slowly shook his head.
"He can't be killed." He said quietly.
"Is he gaining power?" Harry asked quickly. Lupin bit his lip.
"There have been random attacks from the Death Eaters, which makes Sirius think so. But, we have no proof. He just wants you to be on the lookout." He said quietly. Harry gave a nod and Lupin left with a loud pop. Harry laid back on the bed, his hands covering his face. On the lookout, on the lookout. He always had to be on the lookout. And things had been going to well...
A little while later, Meagan knocked lightly on the door. There was no answer, so she opened it a little. Harry was laying on the bed, his hands covering his face. Meagan sighed and stepped into the room. She closed the door behind herself.
"Harry?" She asked softly. No reply. Meagan crossed the room and slid onto the bed. She rested a hand on Harry's chest.
"Harry?" She asked again. Harry's hands moved from his face. He wasn't wearing his glasses...he had put in his contacts. He usually only wore them for quidditch games and practices...or when his glasses were bothering him. His hands moved up to his hair. Meagan sighed as Harry closed his eyes.
"Baby...it just means Bulgaria is worried." She said, assuming Harry was upset about the attack. Harry let out a snort of laughter.
"Attacks from Bulgaria fans are the least of my troubles right now Meagan." He said quietly. Meagan was staring at Harry. She could tell he was upset and didn't push the matter. She rested a warm, comforting hand on his cheek. Harry sighed and opened his sparkling green eyes. Meagan smiled.
"Do you want me to stay again tonight?" She asked softly. Harry sighed and shook his head.
"I have a Poly Sci test to study for. I'm a grouch when I study...ask Shane." He said with a forced smile. Meagan rolled her eyes.
"Alright, but I'm gonna come check on you tonight, okay?" She asked softly. Harry nodded and Meagan bent down. Her golden hair brushed against Harry's face as they shared a long, passionate kiss.
"Say hi to Christy for me." Harry said as Meagan stood.
"Will do!" She laughed. And with that, Meagan disapparated. Harry's smile quickly disappeared as he rolled over and pressed his face into the pillow.
1 WEEK LATER
Harry sighed as he stood on the balcony, looking across the buildings that were level with his apartment. He had been pretty quiet the last week, even to Meagan. It was an understatement to say he was a little down. All those worries Harry had had before graduation...all those questions about where Voldemort was and what he was doing, they all came back. Harry ran his fingers through his hair. He was alone in the apartment tonight. Shane and Anna were out celebrating their five month anniversary. Harry closed his eyes and rested his chin on his hand. Life was so simple for everyone else. Now, instead of worrying about attacks from Bulgarian fans, Harry had to worry about someone appearing in his apartment, slaughtering him and moving on to his friends and family. Death Eaters had no feelings, they just did what they were told. Harry was thinking about this when he felt a hand slide up his back. It rested on his shoulder. Meagan appeared beside Harry. She was wearing a look of utmost concern.
"Hey..." She said softly. Harry bit his lip.
"Hey..." He said quietly, after a moment. Meagan was still staring at him, her hand still on his shoulder.
"Thought you were staying with Christy tonight." Harry said, never looking at Meagan. She sighed.
"I got Aunty May to stay watch her. Told her I had a friend that needed some help." Meagan said quietly. Harry glanced at her. She was so beautiful. Meagan's blonde hair was up in a twist, with pieces flowing down. She was staring at Harry with confusion and worry.
"I'm fine, Meagan." He sighed. Meagan shook her head.
"You are not fine, Harry! You know you aren't." She said shakily. Harry glanced at her again and saw a single tear roll down her face.
"Don't do this to me..." Harry said before turning and going back inside. Meagan stared after him. Then, she went inside as well.
"Someone needs to do this to you! If you won't let me, then maybe Sirius can." Meagan said, whilst wiping the tear away. Harry shook his head.
"Leave him out of this!" He croaked. Meagan shook her head.
"It's too late now. He's come back, for a week. Staying at Remus's." She said sternly. Harry stared at her.
"You called him?" He asked hoarsely. Meagan nodded.
"You need help. I talked to Ron and Hermione and they told me about that depression you went through not long ago. I'm not gonna let you slip away!" She said, her voice strong and clear. Harry felt his eyes starting to sting.
"I don't need help! I need to be left alone!" He yelled. Meagan looked at Harry, the man she loved. He looked hurt, confused, sad and worried. Meagan sighed.
"You do need help and I will not leave you alone. I'm terrified of what might happen if I do!" She said shakily. Harry stared at her. This girl...this young woman. Here she was, in a strappy black dress, standing up to him. Telling him what to do. That's why he loved her. Harry's bottom lip started to tremble. He turned away, but Meagan grabbed his arm.
"Sweetie, you can't do this to yourself." She said softly, running a finger down Harry's face. Harry said nothing. He just held back the tears and hugged Meagan tightly.
Harry and Meagan stayed embraced for a few minutes, and then they separated. Meagan cupped Harry's face in her hands.
"Sirius is gonna come by tomorrow morning. You should get some rest." She said softly. Harry sighed as Meagan kissed his forehead. Harry hesitated. Meagan was looking at him curiously. Harry bit his lip and his eyes wandered to his feet. Meagan noticed him playing with his shirt and took his hands.
"Harry?" She asked. Harry looked up.
"W-will you s-stay?" He stumbled. Meagan smiled.
"If you want me to..." She said quietly. Harry smiled and nodded. He laced his fingers with Meagan's and they headed off to bed.
Meagan leaned over and brushed her lips against Harry's. His eyes flickered open and he groaned. He looked at the clock. It was eight in the morning. He usually got up around four. Harry rubbed his eyes and slipped his glasses on. Meagan was getting dressed in some clothes she kept at the apartment. A pair of black pants and a purple shirt. She was pulling her shirt on.
"Sirius will be here soon..." She said quietly. Harry gave a nod and got dressed. He longed for his morning run, but knew there was no time. He pulled on some khakis and a blue button up shirt. Meagan went and made coffee while Harry brushed his teeth. He appeared in the kitchen a few minutes later.
"Are you gonna stay?" He asked, sipping his coffee. Meagan looked at him. He looked worried.
"I've got class..." She sighed. Harry nodded. Meagan felt a pang of guilt.
"I'll stay if you want me to." She said earnestly. Harry forced a smile.
"You need to keep up with your classes Meg. We'll have dinner or something tonight." He said quietly. Meagan nodded. Just then there was a knock at the door. Meagan grabbed her black purse and slung it over her shoulder. She went to answer the door, Harry followed. Meagan opened the door and smiled. Sirius was standing there.
"Hi Sirius." She said softly, giving him a hug.
"Not staying, Meagan?" He asked when they separated. Meagan glanced at Harry.
"I've got class. I'll see you two later." She said with a smile. She and Harry shared a kiss before she disappeared onto the elevator. Harry turned back to Sirius. He looked a lot healthier...no scrapes or broken bones. He and Harry shared a quick hug before Harry gave Sirius a tour of the flat. They sat down in the living room. Harry's hands were shaking as they sat in silence. He couldn't meet Sirius's eyes. He was going to be so disappointed in Harry...
Harry was staring at his feet.
"Harry?" Sirius asked gently. Harry wouldn't look at him...he wouldn't...no, he couldn't.
"Harry, come on son." Sirius said coaxingly. Harry closed his eyes. He couldn't do this...he wouldn't do this.
"Harry, look at me!" Sirius said forcefully. Harry felt his fists ball up and knew his knuckles were turning white. Harry felt Sirius grab his chin and force his head up.
"Harry, open your eyes!" Sirius said sternly. Harry's bottom lip started to tremble. Everything came flooding back to him. All those other times he had been depressed. He couldn't do this, not now, he wasn't ready. Harry tore his face away and dropped it to his hands. Sirius was staring at Harry. This wasn't the same person. Two weeks ago, Harry had been strong and independent and now...now he was falling apart.
"Harry, you can't do this to yourself..." Sirius said shakily. His voice...his words were echoing in Harry's head. He tried to shake them out, but he couldn't. Other words started to echo, in Sirius's voice. But Sirius was saying them.
'Failure, disappointment...' Harry shook his head, trying to shake the words out. He felt a firm hand on his back, Sirius's hand.
"Harry, just relax." He said soothingly. Harry felt himself breaking. He was losing it. He couldn't deal. Voldemort...pain...death...Voldemort. It was all because of Harry. There was no other explanation! Harry felt his eyes burning. Begging to let the tears come. Sirius was running a hand up and down Harry's back. Everything had been going so well and then it all just fell apart. In one day, it all fell apart. Harry shook his head. He wasn't going to cry...he wasn't. Harry began to shake with silent sobs. There were no tears, just dry, painful sobs. Sirius tried to comfort Harry, but there was no comfort to be found. None at all. Harry just sat there, elbows on knees, face in hands and let it all out. His life had been full of pain. He was finally getting to a good place in life and then this happened. Was it going to consume him or could he get it under control?
To say the least, Harry's chat with Sirius hadn't gone well. Now, they were sitting in the living room. Sirius was sitting in the armchair and Harry was sitting on the couch. Sirius glanced at his watch. It was six o'clock. Just then, there was a knock at the door. Harry heard the jangle of keys and then..
"Harry?" Meagan called. Harry had had an extra set of keys made for her. There was the click of high heals on the linoleum in the kitchen and then Meagan appeared, clutching Christy's hand. Meagan saw the look on Harry's face and knew.
"Oh dear..." She said quietly. Meagan quickly went to put Christy down for a nap in Harry's bed, then hurried into the living room. She crouched down in front of Harry and cupped his face in her hands. Harry's eyes were watering.
"Oh sweetie..." She sighed. Meagan rested her forehead against Harry's as she rubbed the back of his neck soothingly. A single tear rolled down Harry's face.
"I'm gonna go lay down..." He muttered. Meagan stood and let Harry pass her. She sighed as she heard the click of the bedroom door. Sirius was staring at Meagan. She had her head bowed and her hands on her hips.
"I really thought this would help." She said after a few minutes. Sirius was still staring at her. This girl was doing everything she could to make sure Harry was okay.
"He'll get better..." Sirius said quietly. Meagan sighed and looked at him.
"I'm not sure about that." She sighed before heading into the kitchen. Sirius stood and followed her. Meagan was starting dinner. She looked on the verge of tears.
"I don't know what else to do. He won't go to a therapist and I..." She trailed off. Sirius sighed.
"I know. I guess I was lucky. Before, he was able to say he needed help. He's just in denial now." He said quietly. Meagan wiped away a stray tear and continued chopping potatoes.
"I just don't understand what sets this off! I mean, did something happen last time he became depressed?" She asked. Sirius stared at her.
"You don't know?" He asked, disbelieving. Meagan looked up at Sirius. He looked shock.
"Know what?" She asked nervously. Sirius hesitated, then explained about Harry being kidnaped and tortured. When he was done, Meagan had her mouth covered with a hand and tears were streaming down her face. She hurried out of the kitchen and down the hall. Sirius followed. Meagan opened Harry's bedroom door and stepped inside. She froze when she saw the scene before her. A sad smile danced across Meagan's face as she looked at Harry and Christy. Christy was fast asleep, resting against Harry. He was asleep too, with his cheek against her tiny head of blonde hair. He looked so peaceful. Sirius smiled sadly as well. He wished Harry could just be happy...
AFTER DINNER
Sirius and Harry were standing outside the apartment, saying goodbye.
"I'll be here for a week. Promise me you'll come by kiddo..." Sirius said quietly. Harry nodded. He still hadn't looked Sirius in the eye. They quickly hugged and then Sirius disapparated. Harry sighed and went back into the apartment. He had received an owl not long before from Shane. Someone, he and Anna had found themselves in France and were going to stay for a week. Harry was supposed to take notes for Shane in class. Harry locked the apartment door and leaned against it. He slowly slid to the floor and rested his head on his knees. Harry heard muffled footsteps and then felt a hand on the back of his neck.
"Sweetie..." Meagan said gently. Harry sighed and lifted his head. Meagan was staring at him through glassy eyes. She rested a hand on his cheek.
"What do I have to do to make you better?" She asked sadly, not expecting an answer. Harry just stared at her. Meagan nodded and stood. She turned to walk away, but something stopped her.
"Make me believe that everything will be okay."
Meagan slowly turned around. Harry was staring at her with eyes full of worry. Meagan quickly bent down again and cupped Harry's face in her hands.
"Is that why you're so upset?" She asked. Harry sighed.
"That among other things." He said quietly. Meagan shook her head.
"Harry,
we can get through this...together. You don't have to do this alone! Everything is going to fine!" She said earnestly. Harry stared at Meagan. He wanted to believe her, he really did.
"Megsy?"
Meagan glanced over her shoulder. Christy was standing there in her pajamas.
"Will you read me a story?" The little girl asked. Meagan glanced at Harry. He nodded. Meagan sighed and stood. She took Christy by the hand and led her down the hall into Shane's room...which had been transformed into a mess of pink walls and teddy bears. Harry stood up. He shoved his hands in his pockets and made his way onto the deck. The wind danced across his face as a small, very small smile danced across his face. Maybe Meagan was right...maybe everything would be fine. Or, maybe it wouldn't. The smile faded.
TWO DAYS LATER
Harry sighed as he crawled out of bed. Meagan was still lying there in her underwear. Harry pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a shirt and ran a comb through his hair. He had to do this. This was the only way he could ever smile, ever again. Harry scribbled a note to Meagan and left it by the coffee maker. He slipped his runners on and disapparated with a loud pop.
Harry appeared in front of a fair sized house. It was in a secluded area. Harry climbed the front steps and stood in front of the door. He hesitated, then knocked roughly. There was a minute, and then the door flung open. Sirius was standing there in a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt. He looked at Harry, who was looking directly into Sirius's eyes.
"Harry, what-" Sirius began. Harry interrupted.
"I need...I need help." He said shakily. Harry's eyes started to burn as he stared at Sirius, unblinking. Sirius was staring at Harry. He stepped aside to let his godson in. That was the first step for Harry, admitting he needed help.
NINE O'CLOCK THAT NIGHT
Meagan was sitting in the living room of Harry and Shane's apartment, her face in her hands. She had been waiting all day for any word from Harry, nothing. All his note had said was that he had gone to get help. Just then, there was a knock at the door. Meagan jumped up and dashed across the apartment. She flung the door open and sighed. Sirius was standing there, his hand on Harry's shoulder. Sirius smiled and gently pushed Harry through the door.
"Go on and have a shower..." Sirius said quietly. Harry nodded, shoved his hands in his pockets and went into the bathroom. The whole time, he had been looking at his feet. When Sirius heard the splash of water, he led Meagan out onto the balcony. There was an awkward silence.
"Is he okay?" Meagan asked finally. Sirius looked up and nodded.
"He'll be fine. I told him to just take a couple of days and relax." He said gently. Meagan sighed.
"Thank god." She said, a smile dancing across her face. Sirius didn't smile.
"But..." He said quietly. Meagan looked at Sirius.
"But what?" She asked quickly. Sirius sighed.
"Harry has a hard time dealing with his problems because he has a hard time admitting he is having problems. That's because he's afraid everyone is going to think he disappointed them or failed them. I explained to Harry that I think nothing like that, but..." He explained hastily. Meagan was staring at him. Their eyes locked.
"Harry thinks you are going to be really disappointed in him for not dealing with this in the proper way. He couldn't even look you in the eye." Sirius said quietly. Meagan couldn't believe what she had just heard.
"I have never been disappointed in him!" She gasped. Sirius shrugged.
"It's just part of him. This isn't the first time he's slipped into depression and I can guarantee it's not the last. You need to do everything you can to show him how proud you are of him. That's what I spent a good part of today doing. Telling him how proud I am of him, not disappointed." He explained. Meagan nodded. She felt tears begging to come out and play, but she shut the doors. Meagan nodded again. She turned to go inside, but Sirius grabbed her arm. Their eyes locked once again. Sirius was having a lot of trouble saying what he wanted to say.
"Harry he...he really...Harry really cares about you Meagan." Sirius said awkwardly. Meagan smiled and rested a hand on Sirius's arm.
"I know..." She said gently. Sirius looked at her apprehensively.
"And I love him more than anything." Meagan said softly. Sirius sighed out of relief and released her arm. They headed inside.
When Sirius and Meagan stepped into the hall, Harry was emerging from his bedroom. He was in a pair of pajama pants and a grey shirt. His hair was wet and laying comfortable. Harry looked at Sirius, then to Meagan. Immediately, he bowed his head, staring at his feet. Sirius sighed and walked towards Harry. He rested a hand on Harry's shoulder.
"You call me if you need to talk, okay?" He asked softly. Harry nodded, never looking up. Sirius sighed and patted Harry's shoulder. With that, he disapparated. Harry fidgeted nervously with his shirt and then glanced up. Meagan was watching him, biting her lip. Harry felt his face burn and hurried back into his bedroom. Meagan went after him. Harry was standing beside the bed, his back to the door. Meagan gracefully crossed the room and stood in front of Harry. She rested a hand on his shoulder.
"Harry..." She said quietly. Harry fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, but didn't look up. Meagan sighed. She kissed the top of his head.
"Harry..." She said again. Harry still didn't look up. Meagan took one of her hands and brought it up, under Harry's chin. She forced his head up. Their eyes locked. Harry dancing green eyes were no longer there. They were now full of fear and desperation. Meagan sighed and rested a hand on his cheek.
"Baby, I am so proud of you." She said softly. Harry pulled his face away and sat down on the bed.
"Sirius tell you to say that?" He asked in a hollow voice. Meagan stared at him for a minute.
"Harry, I am really proud of you. It takes a strong person to admit when they need help." Meagan said firmly. Harry hesitated and then looked up. His eyes locked with Meagan's.
"I know you're disappointed in me...I know I let you do." He croaked. Meagan shook her head. She crouched down and cupped Harry's face in her hands.
"Now you listen to me...you did not disappoint me! Harry, I don't think I have ever been more proud of you than I am right now." Meagan said forcefully. Harry was searching her eyes, looking for the give away that would say she was lying. It wasn't there.
"I..." Harry began. Meagan shook her head. She pressed one of her delicate fingers to Harry's lips. He sighed and looked at Meagan. She believed in him. She believed he could get better. Meagan inched forward and kissed Harry deeply. After a minute, they separated. There was a moment of silence, then...
"You're really proud of me?" Harry asked. Meagan smiled and nodded. A small smile danced across Harry's face as he kissed Meagan again