Robin's Boogie Night
By: Flaming Homer
Chapter One: Preparation
With the turmoil of the workweek now a fading memory, Saturday night settles down on our fair city of Gotham. This is a time for young and old alike to clamor together, in search of adventure. The blaring of car horns, chatter of pedestrians, and the inaudible lyrics of top 40 songs, blend together to make a sound more enticing than a sirens call to sailors. Nestled in the middle of a shimmering harbor, Titan's Tower is also alive with activity. With the first Saturday night off in what seems like a lifetime, the Titans are gathered in the living room, each searching for a way to spend this rare opportunity.
The flickering of table lamps silhouetted our hero's as they each planned their evenings. Star hummed softly to herself, as she carefully laid baby doll tees in a large cardboard box. Raven lounged in an over stuffed chair, sipping tea and watching the news, while Beast Boy laid sprawled on the carpet in front of her. Cyborg was polishing his metal frame with a cloth diaper, buffing it to a blinding shine. Robin's absence went unnoticed by his teammates; as each prepared for a well-deserved night of R&R.
Contented with his shine, Cyborg put the cloth down, and turned to Beast Boy. " Have you found anything yet?" Cyborg demanded of Beast Boy, who was, scouring the newspaper, looking for a good club to go to.
" There doesn't seem like a lot is going on tonight. Do you want to check out the new Adam Sandler movie?"
Cyborg snorted in disapproval " Man if I wanted to watch a movie I would stay home! I want to dance, met some girls, you know real fun."
Frowning, Beast Boy ran his index finger down the printed club listing, looking for the just the right venue. A caption at the bottom of the page caught his eye. "Hey how about Masquerade?"
" Masquerade? Isn't that the joint that plays all that techno shit? Keep looking."
Not ready to give up on his newfound discovery Beast Boy sat upright, clutching the paper in his fist. " Come on dude, it sounds like fun, and it doesn't shut down until six."
" Nope, I don't want to go!"
" Its open mike night! Nothing is funnier than watching drunks make complete ass's of themselves."
" I said no!"
Beast Boy picked himself off of the floor, and walked toward Cyborg." There's no cover tonight."
Frustrated, Cyborg cast a leering look down on his diminutive comrade." Are you fucking deaf or just stupid? I said I ain't going and that's that!"
" Its ladies night." Beast Boy replied, raising his eyebrows up and down, and flashing a wicked grin at Cyborg.
"Ladies night….Well maybe it won't be that bad."
" Then its agreed, we're going."
Beast Boy, then, turned to the girls. "Hey do you guys want to come with?"
" No, thanks I have plans of my own." Raven replied, her eyes never leaving the flickering TV. screen.
Starfire perked up. " Oh, I would love to go, but I have to drop this box off at the shelter first. Would you two like to join me?"
Both of the boys stood frozen looking at each other. Neither wanting to hurt her feelings, but the prospect of wasting time at a shelter, seemed as fun a rectal exam. Breaking the silence, Cyborg stepped forward.
" No offense Star, but if I wanted to spend my time surrounded by funky ass smells, I would do Beast Boys laundry. Why don't you meet up with us when you're done? Beast Boy will give you the directions."
Beast Boy's eyebrows slammed together in the middle of his forehead. "HEY….My laundry does not stink."
"Yes it does. Now shut up and give Star the directions so we can go.
Snapping into action, B.B. grabbed a pencil and a napkin from the coffee table, and furiously scribbled down the directions. "Here you go Star," he said, handing her the barely legible napkin. "Just call me on my cell if you get lost."
" Raven are you sure you don't want to come? I am sure I can find you a man there." Beast Boy said over to the dark girl.
" As I said before, I have plans, and I don't need you to find me a man, but maybe I can find you one." Raven said, raising from her seat.
" Ha.. burn!!!" Cyborg yelled, needlessly, into Beast Boys face, before he playfully punched him in the chest.
"Just shut up! Can we just go?" Beast Boy barked indignantly.
The group collectively made a push for the door, but Starfire paused, and looked around the room as if she had forgotten something. "What about Robin?" she inquired. "Aren't we going to include him in tonight's activities?"
" Come to think of it I haven't seen him in hours." Beast Boy said.
"Look, he's probably in the training room. " Cyborg said, pulling the heavy front door open. "You know he doesn't like to be disturbed when he's in the training room. We should just let him be."
"I suppose your right," Starfire said, uncertainly. She gave one last look over her shoulder, shrugged, and followed her friends as they stepped out into the night.
Robin crouched behind a pillar in the hallway, cleverly hidden from the gazes of his comrade. Cautiously, he watched them gather their coats, and keys, as they made their way to the door. The echoing clang of the door closing was his cue to rise from his hiding spot, and make his way back into his room. With the speed of a man possessed, he ran down the hall and burst into his room, closing the door as quickly as he had came through it. He stood still with his back pressed against the door, gulping air, trying to slow his breathing down, all the while his eyes darted around the room, as if he was expecting someone to come in at any minute.
Aqualad, who sprawled across the bed, stopped thumbing through the latest issue of Maxium, and threw a curious look at his paranoid friend." What's the matter with you?"
Robin regained his composure and flashed a confident grin." They're gone." Robin replied, as he moved across the room to his full-length mirror near the bedside nightstand.
"Its about time!" Aqualad yawned. "I've been stuck in this damn room for two hours."
Ignoring his friends grievances, Robin stared at his body in the mirror. He began to flex each muscle group slowly, as a silent rhythm played in his head. As he locked eyes with the man in the mirror, a million thoughts swarmed together at once. Never before had he ever thought of trying something so dangerous. Never before did he ever believe that he would leave himself so vulnerable. Never before did he think he would ever think of do something so potentially stupid. But the time for second guesses had passed, and now with mere hours left between victory and humiliation, worry had etched it self on our young hero's face.
"Hello…Hello, Rob are you even listening to me?" Aqualad's irritated voice ripped through the fog of Robin's trance.
He turned toward Aqualads, smoothing his hair down with a sweat-drenched palm. " No man, I'm sorry. Guess I zoned out. I guess I've got a case of pre-show jitters." He turned the corner of his mouth up, in what he hoped was a grin. He didn't want Aqualad to see the glimmer of fear that was beginning to consume him.
If Aqualad had noticed the quiver in Robins voice he didn't let on to it. He slowly sat up on the bed, letting the magazine tumble to the carpet below. " Look man what's there to be nervous about? You've been practicing for a month! You've got the routine down pat! Quit psyching yourself out."
"Yeah your right. But I would feel better if I went through the moves one more time." Robin nodded, then quickly turning away from his friend, he began his pop and lock dance routine around the bedroom.
" Whatever." Aqualad mumbled under his breath. He briefly studied Robin's dance routine, before rolling his eyes towards the ceiling, and releasing a heavy sigh. He, then, patted his back pockets, extracted a his prized monogrammed cigarette case, and lit up a cigarette.
"How did I let him talk me into this?" he thought to himself, as a plume of smoke curled above his head.
He remembered that awkward phone call a month ago. Robin had asked him for help with a special project. Little did he know, that "special project" would leave him scarred for life. Together, he and Robin had stared death in the eye, battled the fiercest villains this side of the western hemisphere, thwarted doomsday plots, and saved the world millions of times over. However, never had he thought that he and Robin would ever team up to show the world the Full Monty.
For weeks he had met with Robin in secret, working furiously into the wee hours of the morning. He had taught Robin how to dance, told him what to wear, and waxed hair from places one man shouldn't touch another in. Their friendship had been tested to its very limits, but that tends to happen when you help another man adjust the roll of quarters in his Tighty Whitie's.
Tonight, however, all their efforts would all come to an end, and Aqualad would not have to spend one more minute in his own private Idaho. The very thought of this brought a bright smile to his face, and a sense of calm washed over him.
His sweet revelry didn't last very long, though. He was, suddenly, jolted from his inner peace by Robin's confident proclamation, "I really think I've got this down! I'm gonna fucking kill out there!"
Aqualad turned just in time to see Robin thrusting his pelvis closer and closer to his head.
"Shiiii----iiiit!!" He screamed, rolling off the bed, crashing to the floor, just before Robin's dick could make contact with him. The cigarette that had, once, dangled limply from his lips, had fallen onto his crotch.
" Shit!!!" He screamed again, slamming his fist over and over into his groin trying to put out the flame that was starting to engulf him. He winced with the pain, that only a man that smashes his own balls could know. As soon as the plumes of smoke dissipated, Aqualad glared at Robin over the edge of the bed, and noticed that the Boy Wonder was still thrusting away at his shadow on the wall.
"Dude! If you ever do that again, I will kick the holy living shit out of you!!" He yelled. The redness of his face was in direct contrast with his blue uniform..
Robin, hands clasped firmly behind his head, looked down at his smoldering comrade
"What's wrong with you?"
"ROBIN!! You nearly shoved your dick in my eye! " Lines of spittle cascaded from the enraged superhero mouth. His chest heaved up and down, as he awaited an apology.
Robin let his hands fall to his sides. He cocked his head slightly at Aqualad , and flashed him a smile. " Are you jealous? Seeing perfection up close and personal."
The vein in Aqualads forehead throbbed viciously, " You know I ought to kick your ass!" He ran his fingers through his hair, before stealing a glance at the wall clock. " Look man don't you think its time to go?"
Robin looked down at his watch, astonished to see how the time had passed so quickly, "Yeah your right, I better get going."
He walked briskly toward the door, grabbing a coat and black gym bag. " Are you going to ride with me?" he asked.
" No man, I'll meet you there." Aqualad replied, waving him off. "I need to be alone for a while."
" You've got my music don't you?" Robin asked.
"Yeah, yeah, I said I'd be the DJ this damn thing didn't I?" Aqualad said.
" Okay…I'll see you at ten o'clock." With that Robin walked out, and made his out of the tower.
When the sound of the front door closed behind Robin, Aqualad heaved a heavy sigh, and mouthed the words "thank you god!" toward the ceiling.
End Chapter One.