"Jazz, you sure done some stupid things, but this one takes the energon cake." The black and white muttered to himself as he crept through the dark and gloomy labyrinth, all senses on high alert as he traversed the well worn stone. Entering Lambo-territory was hazardous at best, but now it was guaranteed to be lethal.
The saboteur cast his mind back to the start of the ordeal, recalling how it had all started out so innocently.
Somehow the twins had gotten their mitts on an 80-gallon drum of high-grade 'heavy' energon, the type that would have a mech overcharged with only a few sips. Nobody knew how they got it, or how they hid it from Red Alert's contraband raids for that matter, but all the same it was an enviable commodity to have in one's possession and one that could get a mech a lot of things if he played his cards right. But despite all offers, even one rumoured to be from Prime, the twins kept it, citing a 'special plan' as their main reason.
By the time Halloween rolled around, their plot had become very apparent.
The twins' quarters were situated near the end of corridor 12A, theirs being the last habitable room in that part of the Ark. All the other rooms had been ripped open during the crash and now backed onto a series of lava caves formed during the volcano's more active past.
After several months of secret orders over the Internet, mysterious deliveries that drove Red Alert up the wall, nocturnal skip-raiding expeditions and consultations with Wheeljack, Grapple and Hoist it was announced that the twins had constructed an Autobot-sized Haunted House. Anyone who entered it at midnight on Halloween was free to claim the barrel of high grade stashed inside.
But of course, there was a catch: Applicants had to make it from one end of the Haunted House to the other without getting spooked.
The word got out quickly and at midnight there was a sizeable crowd of Autobots, both the curious onlooker and serious contender, gathered in the 'Waiting Room'; a fair sized cave decorated appropriately for the occasion with black lights, fluorescent paint and some rather creepy robotic corpses, including one which looked suspiciously similar to Prowl.
The twins had then materialised and outlined the rules. No weapons, no lights, no gimmicks and no scanners. Only one at a time or in pairs if you please. They then vanished back into the recesses of the caves to lie in wait for their first victim.
Naturally there was a good deal of 'you first', 'after you' and so forth between the contenders which was eventually settled by drawing straws.
"Three guesses for who got the short straw, an' th' first two don't count." Jazz thought to himself sourly. "Knowin' Ratchet he probably rigged th' thing anyway."
Jazz took another cautious step, instinctively bent into a half crouch. Eerie shadows were cast by the muted lights, and Jazz winced every time he came even remotely close to a black light. With his mainly white colouration he knew he glowed like a neon purple beacon in the surrounding darkness.
He thought he caught a twitch of movement from behind one of the lava columns and ducked, fighting the instinctive reaction to bolt for cover and draw his blaster. When no attacker was forthcoming, Jazz attempted to cool his racing systems with a few deep inhalations through his vents and continued on, feeling rather naked without his gun.
As he crept forward Jazz noted that it was getting ever so slightly lighter. Despite the urge to run to the light and/or call for back up, the black and white forced himself to stop and examine the area for any traps first. Unfortunately, Jazz was so intent on what was ahead of him that he never noticed what was behind him.
"GHYAAA!"
All the waiting Autobots spun around in surprise when the shriek of terror split the air. Jazz came literally flying out backwards through a concealed door near the rear of the cave, landing on his back and kicking at something that clung to his left ankle.
"GetoffgetoffGETOFF!" He yelped in panic. The thing withdrew back into the doorway with a chuckle and the door slammed shut.
"Jazz, are you alright?" Ratchet asked as he knelt next to the heavily venting Autobot.
"Aside from m' pride, peachy." Jazz managed between gasps. "I'm tellin' ya man, whatever those two have in there…" he shook his head slightly.
The gathered warriors looked at each other, clearly worried.
Ratchet stood up and cracked his knuckles. "They've terrorised me for the better part of eight millenia," he said briskly as he plucked up his bravado, "I doubt they can scare me now." With that he strode into the gaping maw of the next cave, fists clenched and head high. The ominous laughter sounded again as the medic vanished into the waiting darkness.
"Five credits say we hear a scream in the next ten minutes." Brawn said to Smokescreen.
"Ten and you're on." The other mech replied.
"Done."
Eight minutes later and Brawn was gleefully collecting his winnings as a screech of fright preceded Ratchet's rather unceremonious return to the waiting room via a trap door in the ceiling. Jazz and Prowl quickly helped the wobbly medic to stand and brush off what looked suspiciously like scales from around his neck and shoulders.
"So who's going to try next?" Bumblebee queried, shrinking back from the cave entrance.
"I'm game if you are." Hound said to Mirage. The blue and white eyed the cave for a moment then nodded silently. Both mechs placed their weaponry on the provided table before being absorbed into the artificial night.
They didn't even last five minutes before there was a startlingly loud yelp, probably from Hound, then both mechs came tumbling out of the doorway that had spat Jazz out earlier. As the others helped the tracker and the spy to their feet, Wheeljack suddenly looked around and asked "Hey, where'd Bluestreak get to?"
"And Prowl's missin' too." Jazz added. "Y' don't think…?" He jerked his head towards the rag shrouded cave mouth.
"Prowl maybe, but Bluestreak?" Ratchet frowned and shook his head. "We'll just have to wait and see."
0o0o0o0o0o0
ClinkBluestreak flinched as his foot came down slightly too hard on the basalt floor. Prowl silently reached back and touched the gunner's shoulder in silent reassurance. Bluestreak was frightened, Prowl could feel the gunner trembling as his phobias started to rear their heads.
"Do not panic." The black and white murmured, seeking to soothe the other mech.
"I'm trying not to, but they're out there and they're going to get us and I really don't want to look like an idiot when I come out screaming and I'd hate to make a fool out of you as well and…"
"Hush. The others were all taken by surprise. We won't be." Prowl answered, cutting through the fear driven rambling. He had found long ago that it was the quickest way to get things done. "Trust me Bluestreak."
"Umm, okay, but are you sure this will work, 'cause if it doesn't…"
"It will. But we have to keep moving."
"Gotcha."
0o0o0o0o0o0
Bluestreak and Prowl were almost at the spot where the twins had jumped Jazz, and like the special ops officer, the pair slowed down to inspect the territory ahead.
A flicker of movement caught the gunner's sharp optics. "Prowl, they're coming!" he warned, his voice constricted to a squeak of fright. The dark, confined area was obviously getting to the mech, his over active imagination conjuring up a myriad of possible foes waiting in the enveloping gloom.
"Stay in formation." Prowl ordered sharply as he felt Bluestreak shift his weight from foot to foot, getting ready to bolt.
"Yessir." Bluestreak replied quickly, decades of training kicking in and answering for him as he locked his knees and froze in place.
"As long as we stay back to back, they cannot surprise us from either in front or behind. Keep moving and stay on alert." The tactician instructed; his voice as smooth and calm as ever. Bluestreak silently obeyed, taking a step back as Prowl stepped forward.
Prowl allowed himself a sliver of a smirk as they progressed even further into the caves. With both mechs verbally warning each other every time they spotted something there was no way the twins could surprise them, just as he had anticipated.
0o0o0o0o0
"So, how long have they been in there?" Brawn queried from his position leaning against a clear spot on the wall.
Jazz checked his chronometer. "Getting' close t' 20 minutes now." He answered. "I thought we'd a heard from 'em by now. Wonder what's keepin' the brothers from dishin' out th' works?"
"Maybe Sideswipe managed to scare Prowl into system freeze again." Bumblebee suggested, prompting a laugh from the other mechs.
"It took me three slaggin' DAYS to unlock Prowl's CPU last time." Ratchet added darkly. "If he has I'll make sure he regrets it."
"Regret what?"
Everyone turned to see the victorious pair standing behind them, the barrel of energon at their feet.
"Hey, y' did it!" Jazz cheered.
"Great going!" Wheeljack added, subtly eyeing the barrel. There was a chorus of congratulations from the rest of the waiting Autobots. Unnoticed by all save one, the twins slipped past the crowd and though the door, Sideswipe flicking a barely noticeable thumbs up as he did so.
"So, now that you've got the energon, what are you going to do with it?" Hound queried.
"Bluestreak and I talked it over." Prowl replied. "And we decided to save it."
"Yeah, cause we figured that the war's going to be ending, and we might as well have something decent to celebrate with, so we decided to keep it for then." Bluestreak grinned happily, obviously please with himself.
Jazz and Prowl exchanged a small glance. Mission accomplished.