Chapter 5: Good Things Never Last Forever

Dear Diary,August 22, 2004

It's been a couple of days since the last entry, but isn't that a good thing? I mean the reason why I write is because I get upset and I don't know what I can do to get rid of those rather strong emotions.

Not much has happened and I've been pretty joyful which is a big surprise because I haven't been this joyful (the real thing) for years. A month ago I thought something did but not anymore. I was really wrong about that.

Of course the good things in life never last forever, they usually don't even last for a couple of days. And even for the past few days, they weren't all joyous moments. I did get yelled at but not so badly that I had to write. But my Sunday school teacher was riding on my last nerve. She is so strict and picky and that's the only reason why no one likes her because other than that, she's really nice and funny. The thing is she's also new. She just started not so long ago. For once I am frightened that I will not do so good and my mask will slip. That's what I'm afraid of all the time that someone will see through it without me letting him or her know.

Of course my mask is still good. No one has figured it out without me telling him or her first that I have one. I've already seen what people think of the ones who have a mask like I do. Hell even I was apart of it. She was my friend, everyone's friend but soon or maybe I should say later everyone saw through her mask. She was nothing but a liar and a fake. She was really good with her mask but perhaps she was too good and that made her slip up.

I'm afraid of what everyone would think. I make others think that I don't care much about what others think of me, but that's one of the scariest things. What really goes on in people's heads? I have often wished to know what people were thinking about but also scared of what they were really thinking about. I guess I will never know what people actually think about me. I can't tell if they lie or not. Some people can lie very well and I can't tell. That's why I must learn how to tell. This will be hard but I am willing to try.

Always but not likely forever,

Hermione Granger