A/N: First of all, I want to thank you all for your reviews. Just receiving at least one for each chapter is enough to make me want to write more, if I don´t I feel like I am letting out on you all :D.
That Cactuar Muse, Ayumu isn´t trying to kill herself. She´s cutting herself as a way of easing her feelings of angst. She isn´t trying to kill herself...yet...: ´(...

For future situations I´ll try not to be as hasty XD, considering Yomi´s fast recovery I´ll give an explanation in this chapter.
I think I use too long to write a day in my fic...is it three chapters that day lasted?

Later in this chapter I will be using the song "Raspberry Heaven" and I suggest you read through it instead of just skimming it, it is perhaps the most beautiful song out there and it´s meaning is something that´s...wonderful.

Disclaimer: I do not own the song "Raspberry Heaven"...but I love it...

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Chiyo looked up at the mountain outside the kitchen window by the bench she was making breakfast.
The sun was climbing over the top and the light made it look like the mountain had a halo.
I should show this to Osaka-san, she finds things like this interesting...If I could get her out of bed this early.´
The last thought made Chiyo chuckle abit. No, Osaka-san is definately not an early riser.

After a little while Chiyo could hear someone entering the bathroom down the hallway. She recognised the steps as Sakaki´s and started to set her plate so that she would have all her breakfast ready to eat once she came into dining room.

Just as Chiyo was setting the last details on place Sakaki entered the room, her hair was in place and she looked like she had been awake for hours already. Sakaki felt her cheeks heat alittle at this special attention, before it occured to her that she might not be the only one getting special attention, she was just the first up. Yes, Chiyo-chan was always so nice.
"You don´t have to do this Chiyo-chan, I can set my own plate."

Chiyo turned with a bright smile and retorted."I´m sure you can, but since this is supposed to be our last day here, before we leave tomorrow, I wanted everyone to have a perfect day. And that includes you, especially you, since you helped me earlier." Sakaki started to cultivate another blush , but then she remembered how Chiyo had looked like.
Noting the look Chiyo was giving her Sakaki decided to take a seat before Chiyo could ask what was wrong.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ayumu was on her way home from her new school. Her bag was swinging on her shoulder and the sun was shining.
It was like the town was welcoming her. Birds were singing and children were playing. It was all very happy and like your typical cliché, but it didn´t light up Ayumu.

She was walking along a boardwalk that had the road on her right side and on her left side was a tall,brown fence she couldn´t see through. Both sides was lined with a continous pile of now-brown snow. On the other side of the road stood a gang of boys, maybe a few years younger than her. They were standing in a circle that had heavy smoke coming out of it. They were probably smoking something they shouldn´t be smoking, but they were young, male and had a need to stand out.
Ayumu noticed that a few of them eyed her, she was the new girl in town. One who could be abused if exploited properly. Ayumu knew she was being paranoid and cynical , but she had a reason to.
Her good, solid life had been pulled up with it´s roots and tossed in the fire. She was still living with her parents, but she didn´t have any friends. She had never been good with making friends, and being transferred to a small town didn´t help it.
Sure, the school she went to was pretty big , but most of the people there were so serious and being the weird girl she was she had scared them away during the first sentence.
After that it had all gone downhill.

The worst part had been P.E.
Of course they had Track & Field, Ayumu´s worst sport...And that counts for a bit.
She was gonna have to run, no matter what. She asked the teacher if she could do anything else, but...no.
The grumpy, old pervert was only looking forward to seeing all the girl bounce along the track and she was no exception. Even if she couldn´t bounce if she had springs for legs.
So eventually Ayumu got up on the line along with four other girls. They were supposed to race for a lap.
Only 400 yards, you can do this Ayumu. I know, I´ll do like Tomo-chan, I´ll be nr.1 for the first part of the race!´
As the flute sounded Ayumu spread her arms and sprinted for what she was worth.
For a split second Ayumu couldn´t see any of the other girls and felt a sting of joy at perhaps not suffering complete humiliation.
But as the second ended all the other girls sped past her, making her look like a turtle. Ayumu closed her eyes and concentrated on running with all her might. She felt tears starting to sting behind her eyelids but she didn´t care.
She pumped her legs like she hadn´t since she ran with Chiyo-chan, sweat was dripping from her forehead and suddenly the world went black.

Ayumu woke up as a bucketworth off icy water was splashed in her face. Above her she saw the cloudy sky, the sun shining behind the clouds. Suddenly she could see the unshaven face of her P.E teacher.
"What the Hell was that supposed to be Kasuga? You think you can get off running by running headfirst into a pole?"
Ayumu flinched as the teacher spat in her face as he shouted at her.
"Huh?...pole?"
"Yes, pole! That one over there to be correct!" He said , pointing out a wooden pole closeby.
"I didn´t do it on purpose, Sensei, I was just..."
"I don´t care if you did or didn´t! As a punishment I´ll have you run for the rest of class!"

The rest of the class were laughing at her accident, some pointing. Ayumu tried to laugh it off herself , but she couldn´t shake the feeling of worthlessness that grew in her.

As Ayumu opened the gate that lead into the small garden they had, she noticed a police car parked in their driveway.
What can the cops be doing here?´
She entered through the front door and as she stepped inside two men in uniforms stepped into the hallway from different rooms.
Taking a step back Ayumu asked. "Wha-what are you doing here?This is my and my parents home!"
"Kasuga-san, I have news concerning your parents."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ayumu struggled against the memory, she didn´t want to dream about this, no matter how true it was.
She fought with tooth and nail , but the dream wouldn´t end forcing itself upon her.
"No, go away!"

Yomi grew more and more awake as she felt something next to her stirring, and it wouldn´t end.
Instead it grew more violent by the second. Yomi could hear Ayumu´s voice mutter something. "No, go away! Leave me!"
Ayumu?...Why am I thinking of her as Ayumu?...And why is she crying? She´s crying?´
Abruptly Yomi snapped out of the trance and woke completely up.
Next her she saw Ayumu rolling from side to side, fighting with something invisible.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ayumu was now getting ready for bed, she had her pajamas halfway on when she flopped down on her bed as the conversation streamed back to her.
Her parents had slid off a cliffside as they were driving on a road in the area. The car had been flung out over the edge and it had fallen for 17 metres before tumbling down the rest of the hillside. The corpses of her parents were almost impossible to regocnise , but identification found in the wreck proved it to be them.
Ayumu was still in shock, she couldn´t quite grasp that she was totally alone in the world. Even though she didn´t have many friends before she moved to Tokyo she had always had her parents. They had always supported her, and now they were gone, taken away by some cruel act of fate.
Ayumu slumped down on the pillow, ready to cry even more, but when her head connected she heard a crackle underneath her pillow.
Sitting up again, Ayumu pulled her pillow away and found a crumpled note.
As she took it up and read it she wished she never had.
There were alot of references to "Yakuza" and "debt" and the like. Ayumu didn´t want to read it all , but she managed to read most of it. It appeared her parents had been in trouble with the Yakuza multiple times which was why they had moved so often. They explained how she was the only reason they hadn´t given up before. No, Ayu-chan should try to live life as it should, instead of being chased by organised crime for the rest of her life.
Now that Ayu-chan was an adult she could take care of herself and their task had been done. The only thing they had in life had been each other and her, but they didn´t want Ayu-chan to live a life like their´s, no, Ayu´s life should be filled with joy and laughter.

The last line read: "Goodbye, Ayu-chan, we´re waiting for you in Raspberry Heaven."
Ayumu cried as she finally understood the text of the beautiful song. With tears in her eyes and a twisted expression of anger on her face she tore apart the note and ran into the bathroom to find a razorblade. She had to destroy herself, to rid herself of her memories, she didn´t want to be Ayumu anymore.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ayumu screamed at herself to stop the torment, but it didn´t appear to help. "StopstopstopstopstopstopstopSTOP!"
Ayumu felt a pair of hands circle around her and cradle her. This was something Yomi had done a few times before, but those times were only with Tomo. Yomi could remember that singing usually helped to calm a person down, but she wasn´t sure what to sing for Ayumu. After a little contemplation she remembered a song Ayumu had sung pretty often when they had gone out for karaoke. Yomi wasn´t very confident in her voice when it came to songs like "Sarabai" but she managed to sing slow ones like this one. Shakily she started to sing.

"Carry the wings in your heart.
Tell my heart's soft whispers.
Now, the wind carries them

My heart's wish is beyond the heavens
My heart's wish will be granted
Love's key is the future

A voice is calling softly at the window
And a vision of love appears
Even though it is still far away
Believe in tomorrow
Believe in your feelings"

As the song started to penetrate into Ayumu´s mind she recognised the tune and she calmed down a little bit.
The song was one of the few safe things she could focus on from her past.

"Raspberry heaven!You won't be alone at Heaven, I promise
Raspberry heaven!
Sweet tears
Smile again at paradise

Raspberry Heaven!
We'll meet again in the gentle dreams of Heaven
Raspberry Heaven, I'm coming back to you
When the flowers of Heaven have bloomed
You and me
Together we'll be"

As Yomi started singing the chorus Ayumu started crying for real. She sobbed uncontrolled in Yomi´s pajamas and hugged fiercely at Yomi, hoping that the sensation of her wouldn´t go away.
Yomi was abit pussled at Ayumu´s reaction, but she decided that she wouldn´t stop now. It did seem to have some calming effect on her after all.

"The chasing light
Illuminates a map to happiness
Look, isn't it wonderful?

Now, the light calms me
I'll say goodbye to sad faces
And find the jewel of my heart

"Come close to me" the voice says
The love makes me sway
But I cling to happiness
I'll wait for tomorrow
I'll wait for my feelings.

Raspberry heaven!
The waves of happiness are Heaven's
Raspberry heaven!
I'll cast myself to Heaven
Where could I go in this vessel?

Raspberry Heaven!
Hold me tightly in the fun dreams of Heaven
Raspberry heaven, I'm coming back to you
When paradise's flowers have beautifully bloomed
You and me
Together we'll be"

Eventually the sobbing person in Yomi´s hands calmed down enough to be quit, before Ayumu looked up and into Yomi´s eyes.Ayumu´s eyes were pleading , longing and begging.
"Do you promise?" Yomi was caught off guard, she hadn´t expected this.
"Promise what?"
"That when I come to Raspberry Heaven I won´t be alone. That you´ll be waiting for me.That I won´t be alone!"
Ayumu´s filled Yomi with something she´d never felt before, it wasn´t quite what she felt with Tomo, but it was alike.
Without thinking Yomi answered, there wasn´t a doubt in her words or eyes.
"I promise!"
Ayumu´s eyes filled with hope and in a second she was again cradled against Yomi´s bossom, crying like she never had before.
She was crying because she was happy, and it was the best feeling she had ever had.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N: Heh, I´m sorry for being such a slow-ass...this wasn´t supposed to end up this short , but I think it would be nice to end it like this. To be honest I started crying a few times as I wrote this, I do that...I´m an emotional person, ok?... Besides, "Raspberry Heaven" is one of the most beautiful songs out there. I really hoped you read the song as well and took in the meaning of it.