Author's note: Thank you SOOO much everyone who has reviewed my story! Sorry for the LATE update! I HAD WRITER'S'S BLOCK! AND IT DIDN'T HELP THAT I HAD TONS OF HOMEWORK!Please enjoy this chapter and don't forget to drop me a review!

Disclaimer: I do not…maybe in my dreams...mind…and day dreams…own any of the wonderful characters of Harry Potter. Nope, J.K Rowling owns them…lucky…anyway that does NOT under ANY circumstances mean I can't torture any of the characters. The good news is that I do own the plot…muhahaha…that means …let the pain begin! -

Warning: Because of the plot…and the torturing I'll be doing on guys…I will warn the male species that have come across my story. This story will feature total and utter boy dissing and also…be forth warned people who don't like to see Malfoy being tortured…I will REALLY, REALLY, REALLY…make him suffer. With this warning all I have left to say is…review and enjoy this chapter!

Chapter Four: Ouch.

My point of view.

"Damn that Granger girl! Ouch, ouch! Damn my luck...Ouch. Ouuuch!"

Draco Malfoy "walked" towards the Great Hall. If rocking back and forth counts as walking then he was doing just that. He was hurting everywhere, the good news was that his nose stopped bleeding, the bad news was that he had bruises in many interesting places...

"Ouch! Damn...Ouch...That...OUCH...Son of a...OUUUCH! I'm gonna...OUCH... Her!"

Draco continued walking until he was standing next to the Hospital Wing's door. He opened it and headed towards the nurse. Or, the Nurse's helper...

"Well! What do we have hear! Oh, dear, what happen to you? Are you okay? What ills you? Does your bottom hurt? Is that why you are walking like a penguin or do you always walk like that? Oh, My god! It's your hair right? It's turning white? That's why you're hear! You're getting older and you need to dye your hair blond again!"

"What's wrong with your nose! Does it ALSO hurt!"

The "Nurse" walked close to Draco and soon she was taking out a magnifying glass to look at his nose.

"Oh, I know what you were trying to do! You were trying to shrink it! Was it that big? I mean it's still pretty big, but it must of been bigger then Pinocchio's nose! That thing is humongous right now! Wow...If it touch it...Will it hurt?"

Without waiting for an answer the "Nurse" touched his nose. Actually she didn't touch it she grabbed it!

"OOOOUUUUUCH!"

Draco clutched his nose and tried to make some of the pain subside.

"What kind of nurse are you! You don't even let me answer any damn questions! Just give me a potion! I need to stop feeling pain long enough to kill you for doing that to my nose! I do NOT have Gray hair AND I DON'T dye my hair! I'm a NATURAL blond!"

The "Nurse" looked at him, a hurtful expression on her face.

"You-you don't have to yell! You big meanie! I just wanted to-to-to know what was wrong
! But do you even care that I care! NO! I hate you!"

The "Nurse"sat down on a bed and started weeping. Draco just stood there trying to comprehend what just happened. He just wanted a potion! He DIDN'T want to get tortured anymore today by females...

"Look! I'M SO-SO-RY FOR BEING MEAN! Can I have my potion NOW!"

The "Nurse" looked up and smiled. She stood up cheerly and walked toward a cupboard. When she had gotten the potion she gave it to him.

"All you had to do is ask."

Draco got the potion out of her hands and drank it. His stomach started turning and he felt like throwing up. He clutched his stomach and looked at the nurse.

"What's in that potion!"

"I have NO idea, but you said to give you a potion and I gave you the first one that I could find. Let me check the label."

The nurse checked the label and then looked at Malfoy.

"Don't you worry, dear, it's nothing bad what I gave you. All it will do is turn you into a female every full moon. Don't ya worry though, it's not permanent you will only be a girl for three days or so...for a year. That's not so bad, you know. Now, my friend's, friend's, friend's, friend's cousin's, cousin's boyfriend's, cousin's sister's brother...He drank the SAME potion. It only turned him into a women for a year."

"You know, now that I remember correctly...He argued with this person before he drank it...It was this girl..Ummm...Shine-qua..No..Melody! He argued with her last and she turned into a guy. So, you won't be the ONLY one to turn into something you're not. Now, aren't you happy?"

Draco was at a loss for words. He just gaped at the "Nurse". He tried to stay calm, but it didn't work. The pain he was feeling AND the news he just got made him want to scream.

"WHAT THE HELL! I CAN'T TURN INTO A GIRL! ARE YOU F-ING CRAZY! REVERSE THE POTION! NOW! BEFORE I CHOP OF YOUR HEAD, TAKE OUT YOUR HEART AND BOIL IT IN ACID, WHILE IT STILL BEATS!"

The "Nurse" started to cry.

"All I wanted was to-to-to help! I'm a failure! What am I going to do now! I have no family, no money, no place to go! Please don't tell anyone! I beg of you! I'll reverse the potion! Just don't tell anyone! I don't want to go trough the shame of not knowing what potions are for what! PLEASE!"

The "Nurse" threw herself at Draco and clutched his knees.

"Please, OH, PLEASE!"

"Ouuuch! Stop, don't do that! Nooo! You're holding me to tightly! Loosen up!"

Draco tried to get her off of him, but to no avail. The "Nurse" wasn't budging.

--

Hermione's Point of view:

I had to go to the Hospital Wing to get some pointers on how to make a potion for deep sleep. I have been having bad dreams lately and wanted to stop them. I opened the door to the Hospital Wing and I stooped in my tracks.

"OH. MY. GOD."

I stood there speechless while the "Nurse", a plump mid thirties women with dark brown hair, silver eyes and pale skin, was clutching Malfoy's knees. 'What the hell are they doing!'

"Please, OH, PLEASE!" The "Nurse"screamed.

"OH. MY. GOD."

It hit me right then, they were having...OH, GROSS! Oh, lord! Shit! Eyuuuuuuuu!

"Ouuuch! Stop, don't do that! Nooo! You're holding me to tightly! Loosen up!" Malfoy growled.

I felt sick! I'll be traumatized forever now! Eyuuuuuuu! Malfoy hadn't seen me yet and the nurse was to busy doing...Eyuuuu! Can't even THINK about what she had been doing. I backed away towards the door, unfortunately I knocked over something. The glass bowl shattered to the floor and Malfoy and the "Nurse" got separated from each other.

"I am SO sorry to disturb your...Ummm...Eyuuuuuuu! I'm not even going to try to tell you what you already know! I saw nothing, heard nothing and I will not have nightmares of this! EYUUUUUUU! AT LEAST YOU TWO SHOULD BE DOING THAT SOMEWHERE ELSE! YOU'RE CORRUPTING MINDS! MAINLY MINE!"

Draco looked at me. A shocked look on his face then it quickly was replaced by a mask.

"I have no idea what you think you saw, but it isn't what you think we weren't doing anything wrong...She just didn't want to let go of me! I was powerless to stop her!"

I looked at him. 'She just didn't want to let go of me?I was powerless to stop her!'...EYUUUUU!

"Yeah, whatever...I SAW NOTHING, I HEARD NOTHING AND THIS WILL NOT CORRUPT MY MIND! EYUUUUU! YOU JUST HAD TO DO THAT HEAR DIDN'T YOU! OH. MY. GOD. MALFOY! WITH THE NURSE! EYUUUUU!"

The "Nurse" got on the bed and started rocking back and forth.

"It wasn't my fault miss! He was going to tell! I had to stop him somehow, so I grabbed him! That's the only way I though he would not tell anyone! I don't want anyone to know."

I was freaked out by that time and my eyes widen further.

"HOLY SHIT! MALFOY! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD DO SUCH A THING! TO HER!"

Malfoy looked at me like I was crazy and then he started speaking.

"GRANGER! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! WE," he motioned to the "Nurse" and then back at himself, "DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! SHE GRABBED MY KNEES NOT THE OTHER PART YOU'RE THINKING OF!"

I drew a deep breath and then looked at him.

"Of course. Right. Exactly. Yeah...I...Ummm...Have to go now! I hear ummm...Ginny calling for me! Have...Ummm...EYUUUUU! THAT'S JUST SICK!"

I ran out of the Hospital Wing and started twitching a little bit. MALFOY AND THE NURSE! GROSS! I heard Malfoy run after me and scream my name but I kept running. He never caught up with me, I hid behind a statue.

After I knew the coast was clear I went back to my dorm and just sat there thinking...the first thing that came to my mind made me sick.

"EYUUUUU!"

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Author's note: Hopefully you liked this chapter! Sorry again for not updating, I'll try to update when I can! Review please! I'll give you COOKIES! OH, AND THANKS TO MY REVIEWERS! CIAO!

-Crimson Sadows