Who would have thought that the kid from Chino would someday consider the beach his favorite place in the world? He hadn't even seen it until he moved in with the Cohens, and now it felt likeRyan's home away from home. He felt connected to the sandy shores every time he watched the waves come crashing in, leaving their impression, and then rolling back out again.

"I'm so sorry I'm late," Marissa exclaimed in a rush as she stopped next to where he was standing at the water's edge, studying the latest indentation on the beach front.

He smiled and gave her a sideways glance. "I was beginning to think you stood me up," he said with a hint of brevity. He had considered drinking Macy good-bye, in the bungalow. But when he got there, and she wasn't around, it all seemed pitiful and pathetic. He called Seth, but he was going out with Summer. And the only other person he could think of to hang with was Marissa. She had jumped at the chance to meet him on the beach, just to hang out.

"I, um," she pushed her hair behind her ears nervously. All of the strength she had conjured on the way to the beach from her house was seeping out her fingertips and toes, rolling out with the latest tide. "I was on the phone with my dad," she whispered.

This was ridiculous. He had invited her, and for what? To stand here like complete strangers? "You wanna go get some dinner?" he asked, his hands in his pockets.

Marissa swallowed hard and gathered her courage. "Can we just talk first? I mean, there's something I need to say, and it's not exactly the easiest thing in the world, and if I stop to eat first, I may never get back to it."

She planted herself in the sand, still mumbling something under her breath. In his mind, Ryan could see her reaching for the bottle of whatever stolen liquor was in her purse. But she didn't do it. She just hugged her knees to her chest and waited for him to join her. Something about a scared Marissa gave him a purpose he hadn't known he was missing.

He sat and Marissa breathed in his scent in the air. It was clean and masculine and uniquely Ryan. She spoke without looking at him, knowing that one glance at his baby blues and her courage would be gone. "Last night, when I said that we weren't friends, I lied." She bit her lip and then continued. "You are my best friend, Ryan. You are the definition of "best friend," the way you never turn your back on me, even when I try to push you out. And you still remember my favorite things, even when we spend a lot of time apart. You know me better than anybody, and you love me anyway. And I am so sorry that I have been so unfair to you." She seemed to gain confidence as she spoke.

"Where is this coming from?" Last night she had been so hopeless, shattered. Now she was put together and speaking as though she were a completely different person.

She turned and met his eye. "Call it an epiphany," she smiled.

Ryan returned the smile, warming at the peaceful look in her eye. He wasn't sure he'd ever seen her like that, not fully. Sure, she had been happy when they were together in the pool house, or even out with Seth and Summer. But she never looked content. "Epiphany looks good on ya," he said without thinking.

The compliment was like none she had ever received. "Feels pretty good, too."

The silence that followed this time wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. It was familiar, a safe place for each of them. "So, how does Connor feel about this whole new Marissa?"

She cleared her throat. She could launch into the whole story, but it didn't seem like the time. Keep your eyes on the goal, Coop. You are not here to get back together with Ryan. You are here to make things right. "We broke up last night." He didn't really respond. "He's going back to Pacific. I guess he doesn't feel like he belongs in this world," she added.

Ryan felt all of his inhibitions slipping. She was still Marissa, and he had no reason to feel weird around her. "Seems to be going around," he whispered.

"What?" Marissa turned to hear him better against the breaking of the new tide. The look on his face was one of sadness, emptiness, and abandonment. Without much thought, her arm slid around his shoulder in a gesture of reassurance. As if her day hadn't been weird enough, rehashing all of her heinous thoughts and deeds, now her world was turned completely on its ear.

Ryan was her rock, the one she turned to when she was falling apart, when she needed encouragement. He was the one that she ran to when nothing else made sense. And now he was the one with the "lost little boy" face, and she was letting him lean. For the first time since she had met him, Marissa felt like their relationship could be mutual. Maybe she had the ability to be as strong for him as he was for her.

"Ryan, I didn't come here to get you back. I know you're happy now, with Macy, and I can live with that. I just wanted to be sure that you know that I get it now. I know what I did to you, how I treated you, and I'm sorry. I did what I could to make you what I needed, and I never gave a second thought to what you needed from me."

He reached over and took her hand in his. He wanted to tell her not to worry about it, to bring back that smile she'd given him a minute ago. But that wasn't what this was about, was it? "Thank you," was all he said.

She tightened her grip, the desire to hang on to his hand forever clawing at her from inside. He let go, though, and stood. "Where are you going?" she asked, the absence of his presence leaving her cold against the night air.

Extending a hand, Ryan pulled her to her feet and rubbed her shoulders. "You wanna get some food now?"

"Are we done?" She didn't want to be done. She didn't want to be with anyone else. She didn't want to go to a diner or a restaurant where she would have to share him with anyone else, where just anyone could walk in and interrupt them.

Ryan shrugged. "I just thought you were cold," he said simply. He started to walk toward their cars, but then stopped and turned back around. "Macy's gone," he said.

Marissa looked around – where did that come from? "Gone where?"

He stuffed his hands into his pockets again and looked around, speaking to the night sky. "Thailand. Her father's building an orphanage and she's going to oversee it." Marissa's eyes grew wide. "Signed, sealed, and delivered all in one morning," he laughed and shook his head. "And I feel like I should be heart broken or something, but I'm not. I mean, I miss her, but I don't feel like my world's gonna end. Is that wrong?"

Marissa fought the smile bubbling up inside of her. Was it okay to be happy about this? Was that something the new Marissa should feel? Screw it, she thought to herself. She was happy. "I don't think so. I mean, I kinda feel the same about Connor, ya know? Like it's sad because it is somebody that you cared about, but. . ."

"You couldn't love him," Ryan finished for her, meeting her eye in a hard gaze. His hands moved from his pockets and reached for hers. "Because you still love me," he stated. "I mean, we. We still love each other," he stammered.

Marissa felt the lump in her throat. "Yeah," was all she could say around the tears. She rubbed the back of his hand with her thumb. This wasn't what she was looking for, but she wasn't going to turn it away, either.

"I just don't know if I can do this again. Us. I need some time," he told her, his hand moving to her cheek.

Leaning her face to his touch, she bit her lip and nodded. "I get that. I don't like it, but I get it," she admitted with a smile.

His lips turned up, just the slightest bit. "You wanna go get food now?"

"This could end badly," Marissa warned as she followed him up the beach.

He shrugged. "I think, if you make sure to chew each bite at least ten times, I think we just might make it through."

"That's not what I meant," she rolled her eyes.

He opened the door of the Range Rover for her and waited until she was securely in the seat to lean against the open window. "Let's just worry about dinner for now."

She watched him walk around the front of the vehicle. This honesty thing wasn't so bad after all.