Disclaimer: Oh come on, you think it's mine? Go right ahead and sue me,
though. It's not like you'll get anything out of it.
A/N: Oh, the sadness. You know what, people? Twenty-four. That's it. Twenty- four. *smirkysmirk* Sorry. Lol. Just ignore that. I'm in a weird mood. Well, no one flamed me, so I'm assuming the last chapter was okay. I hope this one will be, too. Like I said, I have self esteem issues.
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And I was right, as I always was.
It was turning out to be a long five weeks. And it was only the first week.
'Twas Thursday afternoon, and I was again in the library. For the first time (at least, as far as I could remember), it was actually somewhat full. Since the term was at least beginning to wind down, everyone seemed to have big tests (most likely from Sev, haha, evil bloke he is) coming up. And so, they chose the Granger way: When in doubt, study.
Of course, it's not like that's what everyone was actually doing. It was the loudest I had ever heard the library.
But that didn't have to be terribly loud, so whatever.
Granger was off looking for books, books, and maybe a few more books, while I tried to busy myself with the one I had at hand. It proved difficult, however, what with the noise.
Of course, there was always the fact that Weasley was loudly telling to anyone in the library that would listen her heart wrenching tale of joy and woe, pleasure and pain, lust and love (but mostly lust).that is, the almost two-week-old relationship of Blaise and herself.
It was quite a tragic yet heartwarming story. Very.Shakespeare-esque, if I may say so.
Okay, so not really.
But anyway.I was starting to regret asking Granger for help at the sight of her carrying back to the table a tower of books taller than herself.
Well, she's probably more than half a foot shorter than me. But still, it was a lot of books.
My train of thought altered by the mindless at this point, I shut my book and glared at Weasley. "Look, Weasley, NO ONE cares about you and Blaise. We all know it's not even going to last until Christmas. And most importantly, I'M GOING TO FAIL THIS TEST IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP." That calmed my nerves. I took a deep breath.
"Well, Malfoy, if you don't want to hear it, then don't listen!" Weasley sniffed indignantly. She then continued with her rant.
"You are a PREFECT, you're supposed to be setting a good example!" Not only was I not happy, but I was also having no luck prying Granger's demon cat off of my shoulders, where he had permanately attatched himself with the use of his claws.
"And how am I not?"
"Well, you ARE wallowing in self-pity while you should be studying. Then, there's always the fact that you're disturbing the peace of the library while others are trying to study. So if I fail my test and don't get into Healing school and my future is ruined and I end up working at a coffee shop," not too terrible, but that's not the point, "trying to keep myself alive on the Knuts in the tip cup, then guess what? It will be on YOUR HEAD."
It should be mentioned that by now, the remainder of the crowd in the library had abandoned their own studying to watch Weasley and I go back and forth (I, of course, winning).
"I am NOT wallowing in self-pity," Weasley retorted, "and even if I was, I would be free to wallow in self-pity wherever I choose."
I sighed and turned to Granger, who was now flipping through another book next to me. On a slightly better note, however, I finally managed to pry It off me and dropped him on the ground. "Is there anything you can do to get this girl to stop? I'm all out."
Granger rolled her eyes and looked up at Weasley, annoyed at the disturbance. "Ginny, could you please tell people about you and Blaise somewhere else? We're trying to study, and if Malfoy fails this he's going to blame me and I don't really want that on my conscience."
Weasley shrugged. "Okay." She walked out. Everyone in the library let out an audible sigh of relief, and turned back to their books (or rather, what was really hidden inside those books.I was still suspicious of Granger).
And so, all was relatively quiet in the library once more. At least, as quiet as it could really ever be at Hogwarts.
Of course, there were always the occasional disturbing noises coming from the Restricted Section. But I don't think we'll get into that.
I turned to look at Granger. "How did you do that? She never listens to me!"
Granger just shrugged. "But that's because everything you do or say is done or said in sarcasm. Apparently Ginny doesn't appreciate that."
"Oh." Of course, it was my sarcasm that just added to my overall charm. Granger, obviously, knew this. She would just never admit it.
So anyway, I leaned over to see what she was looking up. My eyes widened as I realized what the purpose of the spell on that particular page was. "A contraceptive charm?!"
Granger nodded. "It's supposed to be important. I'm sure you'll be tested on it." Now, above all things, THAT really didn't come out right. And I mean REALLY. "You KNOW what I mean, I meant on your exam!" Granger cried, seeing the look on my face.
Sure.
But anyway. The suggestiveness of my sixth year's curriculum, especially compared to the previous year's, was really quite astounding. I voiced this opinion to Granger.
She seemed reluctant to wander further from the actual studying, but replied anyway. "How so?"
"Well, think about it. First we have the sex change potion from Snape, and that was probably the last thing expected from him. Then we have the sex change CHARM from Flitwick, which, by the way, I STILL need a bit of work on. Now we've got this contraceptive charm. I swear, Granger, just think about it."
"That's only three things, though."
And Granger was missing the point. But there had to be something else. "Um.well, there's the recent obsession with sugar quills. Then that thing Zaitzev told about those.things that have venom in their fangs that's an APHRODISIAC!"
Granger frowned. "What do you mean, sugar quills? You're the only one that's obsessed with sugar quills."
I shook my head. "No, Weasley too."
"And that really makes a difference."
"I think it does."
"Can we get back to Charms now?"
"If we have to."
And, alas, so we did.
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After yet another hour of studying, we still had one more class before I was liberated for the day. And who, really, was the only person you could possibly end your day on a happy note with, but Zaitzev?
Granger seemed excited at the prospect of being faced with more work to do. I only dragged myself off to class because I knew it would only be a short matter of time after class was over that I would have my coffee again.
Everyone always said I should stay away from coffee. Said I'd get addicted. And I did. So, do I regret it?
Yeah, right. But that's not the point.
I sat, as usual, sat the back of the classroom. Granger, as usual, sat at the front of the classroom. And Pansy, as she often attempted to do if I got there early enough, practically threw herself at the desk nearest me.
I hate the teen years.
Zaitzev strode in, glared at us all, and sat behind his desk. Everyone stared at each other for a minute, when finally Zaitzev spoke. "I don't like Thursdays." And so, everyone stared again, as was the custom. "Really. I mean, they're almost Friday. And Fridays are good. But they're NOT Friday. So you have to go through the whole day knowing that you've still got another day left until the weekend. I hate it."
I thought he kind of had a point. But nevertheless, no one ceased their staring. "You guys are even more out of it today than you usually are. You're starting to remind me of the rest of the brainless morons I have to deal with."
And still, no one said anything. It wasn't like remarks such as this were unusual. "Fine. If no one will sarcastically spar with me, then I'll make you all work. Would you rather actually learn something? TOO BAD, YOU WILL ANYWAY!" He started laughing maniacally.
Zaitzev could really be quite strange at times.
It's not like he actually made us do work, anyway. He was too lazy. Instead, he just opened his book. "Alright, turn to page 513 in your books. We're going to be starting a section I think the guys will enjoy. Welcome to the wonderful world of VEELA."
I started to snigger, remembering my lovely (yet untrue) account of the encounter between a Veela and myself at the Quidditch World Cup to Weasley and Granger.
Yet, as was obviously our tradition, I was ignored.
And so, sometime later, Zaitzev was telling us some long-winded story about him and a bunch of Veela from some time he was in Brazil.
But of course, I felt the need to interrupt to share one of the pointless facts from an endless supply stored nowhere but my own mind. I raised my hand.
Zaitzev sighed. "Yes, Malfoy, WHAT do you have to amaze and astound us with today?"
"Did you know that in Brazil, they call ping pong 'pingy pongy'?" And it's true. I'm sorry, but I just find that insanely amusing.
Zaitzev rolled his eyes. "No, I didn't, actually."
"Well, it's true."
"Thank you. That's fascinating, really. Anyway, back to the Veela."
And so, Zaitzev continued to tell us about the Veela. But I could tell he was seriously amazed about the pingy pongy. Really.
When he finally got to the good part (meaning, of course, the Veela's seductive powers), I raised my hand again. "What now?"
I smirked. Granger, her eyes wide, seemed to sense this and turned around to look at me. She shook her head. I nodded, grinning at her. She turned back around and put her head in her hands. "You didn't happen to be at the Quidditch World Cup a few years ago when it was in England, did you?"
"Why no, I didn't."
"Well, there was a Death Eater attack and there were all these Veela and it was really loud and annoying and kind of strange, but anyway, there was this one Veela, and all these sugar quills, and-"
"Malfoy," Zaitzev interrupted, "however fascinating your story is, I know that it's going to have a bad ending. So I'm not going to allow it to continue. MOVING on."
It was a very sad thing that I didn't get to finish my charming (yet still untrue) tale of the Veela. But, somehow, I survived.
When Zaitzev finished his seemingly pointless talk, he sat down on his desk. He turned to me. "You know, I don't think I ever told any of you this story. I went to Durmstrang, but before that, when I was eleven years old, I was at a muggle school back in Russia, which is where I'm from. So anyway, I imagine I was like our very own Malfoy here.always making dirty comments, annoying the teachers.you know, the usual."
I smirked. Now he had no right to condemn me any more; he used to be the same.
"We had this one teacher that, I swear, was a couple of centuries old. And she was a muggle. Well, I was always saying things she didn't approve of, and one day she just cracked. She started chasing me around the room with her cane and tried to kill me with it, but I jumped out the window." He nodded happily. "Good times, good times."
Everyone stared for a minute. Finally, the Weasel spoke. "What floor were you on?"
"It was either the second or third; I don't really remember," Zaitzev said cheerfully.
Pansy's jaw dropped, and she stared at him, wide-eyed. "You mean you didn't DIE?" she squawked.
Everyone turned to look at Pansy; Zaitzev, however, looked at her as if she was actually insane. "Of COURSE I didn't die, why else would I be here? Besides, it wasn't that high. And I was a wizard, so I was actually okay.when I came to," he added, smiling.
The class blinked at him simultaneously.
"What? I was!"
I sighed. Fortunately, the bell rang, and everyone rushed out.
See, here's the problem. With only about a month left until my exam, now was the time that I really started to actually need what I was supposed to be learning in class.
Is that so hard? It obviously is, because when I really needed my education, I was being deprived of it due to pointless lectures and stories.
Oh well, I thought as I finally found some coffee and poured it into a mug, relieved. Another month with Granger.
And, of course, I still had to perfect my sex change charm. But I had an idea of what I could do.
Heh heh.
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A/N: Uh ohhhhhhhh.what's our man planning on doing? Only I know, ahaha! You guys will have to wait. You'll all probably think it's incredibly retarded, but it's actually based on something I want to do. Don't worry, you'll find out soon enough. And if you want the next chapter to be out as soon as possible.PLEASE just review!
Now on to those who have already reviewed, thanks to: relena333, Ehlonna, and nobody important.
RikuNghts: Lol! I told my friend in school I was thinking of using that line in my story (she reads it, and this was before I wrote that chapter, of course) and she was like "YES!" so naturally, I did. Feel free, and I hope you like this chapter. It's kind of random, but then again, what isn't in this story?
super sycoh: Hehe, yup, Jack is surely swinging. We were talking about the Titanic (the actually ship) in school the other day, and I was like "JACK'S GAY!" But that's just the way I am. Lol. Oh yeah, and Sven is just some made up guy my aunt likes.eh, don't ask.
DanishGirl: I kind of made Draco the way I am.meaning, I always try to turn conversations that way. But don't worry about the English.:D man I barely speak English and I'm American, haha!
draco's darling: Sure you do.
burgundyred: Well, coffee is my soulmate, so naturally it had to be Draco's too. And Jack.I just like to make fun of stuff. Lol. I particularly enjoyed writing the sentence about the geese myself. Draco's a perv because.um, I guess it's just kind of funny. But finally, I'm so glad you said that about the snogging! I plan on taking it slowly, but my friend is like "MAKE THEM SNOG HAHAHAHA" and I'm like "NO HAHAHAHA." Okay then. And I usually try to do spell check, but I always forget, so I'll try to be better about that. Finally, I'm sure someday you'll understand the 'Jack is queer' argument, don't worry! I'll get to it; they'll watch it, lol. Wow, this is a long note.um, thanks for the review! Hope you like this.
Meggles: Did you see it? Did you see it? Hahahahahaha, burgundyred told me to wait on the snogging! Someone AGREES WITH ME.so you can wait. Lol. See you later.
Okie dokie, that's all. PLEASE REVIEW!
A/N: Oh, the sadness. You know what, people? Twenty-four. That's it. Twenty- four. *smirkysmirk* Sorry. Lol. Just ignore that. I'm in a weird mood. Well, no one flamed me, so I'm assuming the last chapter was okay. I hope this one will be, too. Like I said, I have self esteem issues.
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And I was right, as I always was.
It was turning out to be a long five weeks. And it was only the first week.
'Twas Thursday afternoon, and I was again in the library. For the first time (at least, as far as I could remember), it was actually somewhat full. Since the term was at least beginning to wind down, everyone seemed to have big tests (most likely from Sev, haha, evil bloke he is) coming up. And so, they chose the Granger way: When in doubt, study.
Of course, it's not like that's what everyone was actually doing. It was the loudest I had ever heard the library.
But that didn't have to be terribly loud, so whatever.
Granger was off looking for books, books, and maybe a few more books, while I tried to busy myself with the one I had at hand. It proved difficult, however, what with the noise.
Of course, there was always the fact that Weasley was loudly telling to anyone in the library that would listen her heart wrenching tale of joy and woe, pleasure and pain, lust and love (but mostly lust).that is, the almost two-week-old relationship of Blaise and herself.
It was quite a tragic yet heartwarming story. Very.Shakespeare-esque, if I may say so.
Okay, so not really.
But anyway.I was starting to regret asking Granger for help at the sight of her carrying back to the table a tower of books taller than herself.
Well, she's probably more than half a foot shorter than me. But still, it was a lot of books.
My train of thought altered by the mindless at this point, I shut my book and glared at Weasley. "Look, Weasley, NO ONE cares about you and Blaise. We all know it's not even going to last until Christmas. And most importantly, I'M GOING TO FAIL THIS TEST IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP." That calmed my nerves. I took a deep breath.
"Well, Malfoy, if you don't want to hear it, then don't listen!" Weasley sniffed indignantly. She then continued with her rant.
"You are a PREFECT, you're supposed to be setting a good example!" Not only was I not happy, but I was also having no luck prying Granger's demon cat off of my shoulders, where he had permanately attatched himself with the use of his claws.
"And how am I not?"
"Well, you ARE wallowing in self-pity while you should be studying. Then, there's always the fact that you're disturbing the peace of the library while others are trying to study. So if I fail my test and don't get into Healing school and my future is ruined and I end up working at a coffee shop," not too terrible, but that's not the point, "trying to keep myself alive on the Knuts in the tip cup, then guess what? It will be on YOUR HEAD."
It should be mentioned that by now, the remainder of the crowd in the library had abandoned their own studying to watch Weasley and I go back and forth (I, of course, winning).
"I am NOT wallowing in self-pity," Weasley retorted, "and even if I was, I would be free to wallow in self-pity wherever I choose."
I sighed and turned to Granger, who was now flipping through another book next to me. On a slightly better note, however, I finally managed to pry It off me and dropped him on the ground. "Is there anything you can do to get this girl to stop? I'm all out."
Granger rolled her eyes and looked up at Weasley, annoyed at the disturbance. "Ginny, could you please tell people about you and Blaise somewhere else? We're trying to study, and if Malfoy fails this he's going to blame me and I don't really want that on my conscience."
Weasley shrugged. "Okay." She walked out. Everyone in the library let out an audible sigh of relief, and turned back to their books (or rather, what was really hidden inside those books.I was still suspicious of Granger).
And so, all was relatively quiet in the library once more. At least, as quiet as it could really ever be at Hogwarts.
Of course, there were always the occasional disturbing noises coming from the Restricted Section. But I don't think we'll get into that.
I turned to look at Granger. "How did you do that? She never listens to me!"
Granger just shrugged. "But that's because everything you do or say is done or said in sarcasm. Apparently Ginny doesn't appreciate that."
"Oh." Of course, it was my sarcasm that just added to my overall charm. Granger, obviously, knew this. She would just never admit it.
So anyway, I leaned over to see what she was looking up. My eyes widened as I realized what the purpose of the spell on that particular page was. "A contraceptive charm?!"
Granger nodded. "It's supposed to be important. I'm sure you'll be tested on it." Now, above all things, THAT really didn't come out right. And I mean REALLY. "You KNOW what I mean, I meant on your exam!" Granger cried, seeing the look on my face.
Sure.
But anyway. The suggestiveness of my sixth year's curriculum, especially compared to the previous year's, was really quite astounding. I voiced this opinion to Granger.
She seemed reluctant to wander further from the actual studying, but replied anyway. "How so?"
"Well, think about it. First we have the sex change potion from Snape, and that was probably the last thing expected from him. Then we have the sex change CHARM from Flitwick, which, by the way, I STILL need a bit of work on. Now we've got this contraceptive charm. I swear, Granger, just think about it."
"That's only three things, though."
And Granger was missing the point. But there had to be something else. "Um.well, there's the recent obsession with sugar quills. Then that thing Zaitzev told about those.things that have venom in their fangs that's an APHRODISIAC!"
Granger frowned. "What do you mean, sugar quills? You're the only one that's obsessed with sugar quills."
I shook my head. "No, Weasley too."
"And that really makes a difference."
"I think it does."
"Can we get back to Charms now?"
"If we have to."
And, alas, so we did.
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After yet another hour of studying, we still had one more class before I was liberated for the day. And who, really, was the only person you could possibly end your day on a happy note with, but Zaitzev?
Granger seemed excited at the prospect of being faced with more work to do. I only dragged myself off to class because I knew it would only be a short matter of time after class was over that I would have my coffee again.
Everyone always said I should stay away from coffee. Said I'd get addicted. And I did. So, do I regret it?
Yeah, right. But that's not the point.
I sat, as usual, sat the back of the classroom. Granger, as usual, sat at the front of the classroom. And Pansy, as she often attempted to do if I got there early enough, practically threw herself at the desk nearest me.
I hate the teen years.
Zaitzev strode in, glared at us all, and sat behind his desk. Everyone stared at each other for a minute, when finally Zaitzev spoke. "I don't like Thursdays." And so, everyone stared again, as was the custom. "Really. I mean, they're almost Friday. And Fridays are good. But they're NOT Friday. So you have to go through the whole day knowing that you've still got another day left until the weekend. I hate it."
I thought he kind of had a point. But nevertheless, no one ceased their staring. "You guys are even more out of it today than you usually are. You're starting to remind me of the rest of the brainless morons I have to deal with."
And still, no one said anything. It wasn't like remarks such as this were unusual. "Fine. If no one will sarcastically spar with me, then I'll make you all work. Would you rather actually learn something? TOO BAD, YOU WILL ANYWAY!" He started laughing maniacally.
Zaitzev could really be quite strange at times.
It's not like he actually made us do work, anyway. He was too lazy. Instead, he just opened his book. "Alright, turn to page 513 in your books. We're going to be starting a section I think the guys will enjoy. Welcome to the wonderful world of VEELA."
I started to snigger, remembering my lovely (yet untrue) account of the encounter between a Veela and myself at the Quidditch World Cup to Weasley and Granger.
Yet, as was obviously our tradition, I was ignored.
And so, sometime later, Zaitzev was telling us some long-winded story about him and a bunch of Veela from some time he was in Brazil.
But of course, I felt the need to interrupt to share one of the pointless facts from an endless supply stored nowhere but my own mind. I raised my hand.
Zaitzev sighed. "Yes, Malfoy, WHAT do you have to amaze and astound us with today?"
"Did you know that in Brazil, they call ping pong 'pingy pongy'?" And it's true. I'm sorry, but I just find that insanely amusing.
Zaitzev rolled his eyes. "No, I didn't, actually."
"Well, it's true."
"Thank you. That's fascinating, really. Anyway, back to the Veela."
And so, Zaitzev continued to tell us about the Veela. But I could tell he was seriously amazed about the pingy pongy. Really.
When he finally got to the good part (meaning, of course, the Veela's seductive powers), I raised my hand again. "What now?"
I smirked. Granger, her eyes wide, seemed to sense this and turned around to look at me. She shook her head. I nodded, grinning at her. She turned back around and put her head in her hands. "You didn't happen to be at the Quidditch World Cup a few years ago when it was in England, did you?"
"Why no, I didn't."
"Well, there was a Death Eater attack and there were all these Veela and it was really loud and annoying and kind of strange, but anyway, there was this one Veela, and all these sugar quills, and-"
"Malfoy," Zaitzev interrupted, "however fascinating your story is, I know that it's going to have a bad ending. So I'm not going to allow it to continue. MOVING on."
It was a very sad thing that I didn't get to finish my charming (yet still untrue) tale of the Veela. But, somehow, I survived.
When Zaitzev finished his seemingly pointless talk, he sat down on his desk. He turned to me. "You know, I don't think I ever told any of you this story. I went to Durmstrang, but before that, when I was eleven years old, I was at a muggle school back in Russia, which is where I'm from. So anyway, I imagine I was like our very own Malfoy here.always making dirty comments, annoying the teachers.you know, the usual."
I smirked. Now he had no right to condemn me any more; he used to be the same.
"We had this one teacher that, I swear, was a couple of centuries old. And she was a muggle. Well, I was always saying things she didn't approve of, and one day she just cracked. She started chasing me around the room with her cane and tried to kill me with it, but I jumped out the window." He nodded happily. "Good times, good times."
Everyone stared for a minute. Finally, the Weasel spoke. "What floor were you on?"
"It was either the second or third; I don't really remember," Zaitzev said cheerfully.
Pansy's jaw dropped, and she stared at him, wide-eyed. "You mean you didn't DIE?" she squawked.
Everyone turned to look at Pansy; Zaitzev, however, looked at her as if she was actually insane. "Of COURSE I didn't die, why else would I be here? Besides, it wasn't that high. And I was a wizard, so I was actually okay.when I came to," he added, smiling.
The class blinked at him simultaneously.
"What? I was!"
I sighed. Fortunately, the bell rang, and everyone rushed out.
See, here's the problem. With only about a month left until my exam, now was the time that I really started to actually need what I was supposed to be learning in class.
Is that so hard? It obviously is, because when I really needed my education, I was being deprived of it due to pointless lectures and stories.
Oh well, I thought as I finally found some coffee and poured it into a mug, relieved. Another month with Granger.
And, of course, I still had to perfect my sex change charm. But I had an idea of what I could do.
Heh heh.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A/N: Uh ohhhhhhhh.what's our man planning on doing? Only I know, ahaha! You guys will have to wait. You'll all probably think it's incredibly retarded, but it's actually based on something I want to do. Don't worry, you'll find out soon enough. And if you want the next chapter to be out as soon as possible.PLEASE just review!
Now on to those who have already reviewed, thanks to: relena333, Ehlonna, and nobody important.
RikuNghts: Lol! I told my friend in school I was thinking of using that line in my story (she reads it, and this was before I wrote that chapter, of course) and she was like "YES!" so naturally, I did. Feel free, and I hope you like this chapter. It's kind of random, but then again, what isn't in this story?
super sycoh: Hehe, yup, Jack is surely swinging. We were talking about the Titanic (the actually ship) in school the other day, and I was like "JACK'S GAY!" But that's just the way I am. Lol. Oh yeah, and Sven is just some made up guy my aunt likes.eh, don't ask.
DanishGirl: I kind of made Draco the way I am.meaning, I always try to turn conversations that way. But don't worry about the English.:D man I barely speak English and I'm American, haha!
draco's darling: Sure you do.
burgundyred: Well, coffee is my soulmate, so naturally it had to be Draco's too. And Jack.I just like to make fun of stuff. Lol. I particularly enjoyed writing the sentence about the geese myself. Draco's a perv because.um, I guess it's just kind of funny. But finally, I'm so glad you said that about the snogging! I plan on taking it slowly, but my friend is like "MAKE THEM SNOG HAHAHAHA" and I'm like "NO HAHAHAHA." Okay then. And I usually try to do spell check, but I always forget, so I'll try to be better about that. Finally, I'm sure someday you'll understand the 'Jack is queer' argument, don't worry! I'll get to it; they'll watch it, lol. Wow, this is a long note.um, thanks for the review! Hope you like this.
Meggles: Did you see it? Did you see it? Hahahahahaha, burgundyred told me to wait on the snogging! Someone AGREES WITH ME.so you can wait. Lol. See you later.
Okie dokie, that's all. PLEASE REVIEW!