[WARNING]: YAOI... dont know what this means?.... DONT READ!!!!

[DISC]: Dont own Gravitation nor it characters.... life its so cruel T_T

[A/N]: Ok, I know this might go a little slow but at least in this chapter i managed to put on some more dialogue than the others *tries miserably to cheer ppl*. Ok, ok bear with me a little on this, and on grammar, and typos, slowliness, and the list goes on... T_T


:: WHAT IF ::

by: KM-Sama


Chapter 3:
Conscience...

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So finally, after what seemed endless months of torture, Yuki al last made up his mind and came up with an idea and he put and end to all the stupid questions that has plague his mind for the last couple of months -not that this idea wasn't a stupid one, and not that he noticed at all either-. He was a desperate man in a desperate situation -at least, he saw it that way- and desperate times need... well... desperate measures of course -wasn't he?-. He was pretty damn sure of that and there was nothing in the world that no one, or anything, could do to change that fact.

But, deep inside of him, there was this... how to call it... voice telling him, screaming at him...

'Please... don't do this' -The voice begged-

'Why the hell not?' -Was Yuki's response-

'You know... don't you?' -It continued-

'What?!' -Yuki was quickly losing his non existent patient-

'That you WILL lose him if you do it!' -The voice told him, sounding almost... desperate and fearful?-

'...' -Yuki wasn't able to respond nor he wanted-

'Are you willing to bet your own happiness, HIS happiness because of some stupid thing you're too afraid to ask?' -That... voice was good, it knew where to hit-

'...' -Yuki didn't answer to that either-

'You know... he NEVER lies'

'I know but...'

-Voice cuts in- 'But what?!... You'll lose him, you KNOW it and yet... you don't care'

'I NEED to know' -Yuki was beginning to be a little frightened-

'Do you?' -Tone calm almost in a whisper. It was teasing him-

'... Yes' -Was Yuki's meekly response-

'Are we losing our confidence now?'

'What do YOU know?!' -Yuki tried to get a grip on whatever it was left of his courage and confidence-

'What do I know?... I know... EVERYTHING' -Yuki was more than scare now, but being him, didn't show it-

'Oh yeah?'

'YES...' -Answer came in almost a whisper-

'Hmp. No one can know everything, that's fucking impossible' -Sarcasm, irony, cynicism... Yuki's façade-

'Oh. But I didn't say I knew everything about every thing... did I?' -I sounded almost... amused-

'And what the hell to you EVERYTHING about huh?' -Fear, don't show-

'YOU!'

'Yeah?... and can you tell me, what the fuck makes you thing that?' -Terror, pure and honest-

'Cant you tell... Uesugi Eiri?' -This wasn't any good-

'What the...!'

-Voice cuts in- 'Who am I?' -I WAS teasing him-

'WHAT?!'

'That I'm YOU'

Yuki woke up just to find himself covered in sweat, staring directly at the white screen of his laptop. He brought one shaky hand to brush his bangs away from his forehead, he was panting. Just what the hell was that all about?!, was it true?. He quickly dismissed the thought and went back to his work and he was just about to start a new chapter of his book when he found that it was really difficult to concentrate, the words that that voice -well, It was actually himself- had told him were still fresh on his mind making it a little too hard to think straight at the moment.

After a few moments he finally could manage a tiny degree of concentration and resume his work, words flowing from his mind perfectly fitting one another in a silent symphony, the taping of keys the only noise that could be heard trough out the quiet apartment. He ignored how much time he had being working but by now it was dark, it was strange that nobody had come to bother him in all this time -yes, his missed his Shu- so he decided to take a look and see what the hell he was so Shu-less not that he cared, he told himself, -yeah right- he just... wanted to see if the singer hadn't burn the house down or something like that, yeah... that was it, he was going to check on the house and then if the time permitted he'll check on his baka and that was all.

Yuki got out of his den and made his way to the living, everything was pitch black but not as quiet as he thought because there was this noise coming from the couch, and he quickly recognize it as being Shuichi's snoring, it was very low but he knew the sound very well... the baka had fell asleep on the couch again, he'll probably came home and saw Yuki working very hard on his book and decided not to disturb him. The thought brought a small smile to the writer's lips while he quietly made his way to the couch and taking Shuichi in his arms took him to the bedroom they shared. Shuichi, feeling warm arms being wrapped around his small body rested his head on Yuki's shoulder and let himself being carried by him but did not wake. Yuki laid Shuichi on the bed and sat beside him brushing some strand of pink hair out of his face and very softly caressing his cheek on the process, he then smiled again.

Yuki sat by the singer side just watching him sleep, the beauty of Shuichi marveled him, his silky skin, his frail body, those cherry lips and that pink hair that never fail to amuse him and then... the damned voice made its entrance again.

'So... are you ready to stop doing this?'

'DO WHAT?' -Yuki was more than unpleased-

'Watching him, of course' -It taunted-

'I DO NOT watch him' -How he wished that, that... thing would let him be-

'Yes you do... you do it every night and you know it'

'No I don't ' -DAMN IT!-

'But you do... and you LOVE it...' -The problem with discussing your own conscience?... it that you CAN'T fool it-

'NO, I don't ' -So, shut up!!-

'Oh... you don't?...' -The voice's tone was one of somebody who enjoys what his doing-

'No...' -Yuki whispered in his mind-

'LIAR! ' -It almost laughs at Yuki's words-

'.....' -Yuki was speechless-

'You LOVE to watch him sleep, you LOVE to hear him sing around the house, you LOVE him' -And that, was a fact-

'I...' -Was it true?-

'So... ready to lose all of that?'

'I wont' -Yuki tried to fight against it-

'Ah yeah...'

'YEAH' -This discussion wasn't going very well and Yuki knew it-

'And how so?...' -The tone was the one of somebody really amused by what's he's hearing, somebody who knows another person trying to fool himself and failing... miserably -

'Because, because he loves me' -Yuki assure to the voice in his head only achieving to amuse it a lot more-

'HAHAHAHA!' -And with that... silence -

TBC...

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[A/N]: Well... how was it?, hope you like it. More dialogue in this chp *hopes it convinces *. Please REVIEW, make suggestions, comments, critics or flame... its all welcome. THANK YOU SO MUCH TO ALL THE PPL THAT HAD REVIEWED, kisses and hugs to all of you. Sorry for the excess of sugar in all of this but you can honestly say that Yuki isn't kawaii when his being kind to Shu-chan *_*

Matta ne!

::Plotless, pointless... just like me::