Author's Note: I'm having too much fun! This just came to me, and I thought it would be hilarious if it really happened. This might be the most fun I've had writing a fanfiction.

Thoughts -- Italic

SHOUTING -- UPPERCASE

Amy De Luca pushed the shopping cart to the baked-goods aisle, a smile on her face, as she picked up a bag of shredded coconut. She couldn't wait to see Jim Valenti's face after she baked him another coconut cream pie. She pushed the cart further, past the chocolate; it was too tempting and she was trying to go on a healthy-food only diet.

Without thinking, she ended up in the magazine section of the store. Oh, well, she thought as she picked up a tabloid, it's a necessary evil in the business of aliens.

"I can't believe that…that orphan…got pregnant. They're only seventeen!" Amy's ears perked up, catching the whispered gossip of two older women in the aisle, behind her.

Slowly, she backed the cart up closer to where they were standing. The magazine was covering her face as she pretended to be engrossed in the Brad Pitt scandal.

"I can't believe that. Though, I would've guessed that the girl would get herself in trouble. After all, look it how she was raised. They say that children who live in a single parent home end up emotionally scarred for life. And that boy! He seemed like such a nice young man. Well, it goes to show, you never know... Kids raising kids. I never thought it would happen in Roswell. "

"Tell me about it. Never mind that one of them is an orphan with no family. How ever will they take care of themselves, much less a little baby?"

The magazine dropped on the ground. Amy covered her mouth with both hands to keep from screaming, "Oh, my god! Maria!" Amy left the shopping cart in the middle of the store in her rush to see her daughter. Trying to keep in control. I cannot kill my daughter, I cannot kill my daughter, she thought like a mantra, but I can kill Michael.

Barely knowing how she drove home, her only thought was that the past was repeating itself. Her daughter had made the same mistakes that she so desperately wanted to keep her from making. Amy stormed through the door of her house to find Maria on the couch watching TV.

Maria looked up, startled, "Mom? What are you doing home? I thought you'd be out for at least another hour in the grocery store."

Rationality was too demanding; "Where is he?" She shouted.

Maria's mouth flew open, "Where's who?"

"WHERE'S THAT DEAD-BRAINED, SELF-SERVING, WRESTLING CON-ARTIST WHO MADE ME THINK HE WAS A NICE GUY WHILE SEDUCING MY DAUGHTER RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE!"

Maria stood up, shocked at her mother, but unable to understand what was happening, "Michael?"

Amy, her face was red, veins popping out on her forehead, "YES! MICHAEL! WHERE IS HE?"

"He's at the Valenti's…Mom, What?--," She never finished the sentence because her mother grabbed her by arm and pulled her to the car, forcing her in the passenger seat. The car didn't even get the chance to start before it speed down the street to the Valenti's home.

Pulling out her "Grief Relief", Maria sniffed the little bottle as her mother drove down the street at 70 miles per hour. Funny how it wasn't helping it this situation. Every time she tried to open her mouth to say something, her mother shot her a look that would kill an entire army.

As if by magic, the car stopped short of hitting the two cars parked in the driveway. Amy, pulling Maria along, marched right up to the door and practically pounded a hole in it until Jim opened it.

He looked disheveled and strained. Jim smiled like his teenager upon seeing his girlfriend at the door. The smile slipped off his face once she barged in, screaming, "WHERE IS HE?"

(Half an Hour Earlier)

Phillip and Diane were absolutely flabbergasted at their children. Phillip was becoming increasingly angry at his son Max. He couldn't believe that he would act so disrespectful towards them. Max just walked out of the house in the middle of their discussion, without saying a word. He ignored his mother's shouts to come back and just left, taking his backpack with him.

Phillip knew his children; he and his wife had been apart of their daily lives since their adoption. His son was extremely secretive, he always had been, but this was the first time that he acted so out of character. The past few years had been especially hard on him and his wife; making them feel as if they truly didn't know their children.

Isabel was upset; that was obvious. But he couldn't read her. She apologized for her brother, then ran after him. He watched them from the doorway—Max spoke to Isabel in a low voice, she nodded, hugged him, then got in her rental car and drove off. Max started walking away from the house, the direction opposite of Isabel.

Diane was upset, wringing her hands. He suggested that she make some tea. She nodded, happy to have something momentarily distract her. Sitting down at the kitchen table, she poured her husband a cup of tea as they sat down to figure out their next step. Obviously, the mandatory therapy sessions weren't working. Max was keeping something inside of himself, Isabel knew about it, but wasn't telling either. Whatever Max is hiding is ripping this family apart, Phillip thought, while watching his wife pour more tea.

The phone rang, Diane picked it up. "Oh, hello, Jeff. How are you?" Philip was going to tune out the conversation, after all Jeff Parker was definitely as talkative as his mother, god-rest-her-soul, was. That idea was soon aborted Diane's voice increased, "I'm sorry, Jeff. What do you mean 'tough break'? Max? and Tess? A baby!? What baby!? MY SON GOT TESS HARDING PREGNANT! Oh, my god…" her voice trailed off as the phone slipped from her fingers.

Phillip ran over and caught his wife before her head could hit the ground. He slapped her face, extremely concerned. He heard Jeff's voice from the phone and picked it up, "Jeff? What the hell did you tell my wife? She's in a dead faint!" He listened as his friend told him that he'd heard his daughter and Max talk about how Tess was pregnant with his baby. Luckily, he was already on the floor with his wife, or else he would've joined her swan-dive.

He spoke in a daze, "Okay, thanks for the concern Jeff. We'll be okay." He hung up the phone, then helped his wife off the ground and into the kitchen chair.

He threw himself on the chair across from her as they both stared at each other in shock. It took what felt like an eternity, but he finally snapped out of it…the only thought that came to him was that they needed to speak to Tess. To see if it was true.

Diane had the same idea. Wordlessly, they got their coats and made their way to the Valenti's.
There were only a handful of times in Jim's life in which he truly felt out of control. Once, after his mother had died, then after his father had been arrested and committed. The memory of his son almost dying in his arms…it was still painful to even think of what could've happened if Max hadn't saved Kyle's life.

He knew that Ava was upset. That she felt out of control and abused by Kivar…that her powers had been used to manipulate everyone involved. But his main concern was Tess, who for some reason, was starting to feel better…It troubled him, making him promise to himself not to leave her, not even to go after Ava, instead trusting that Alex could handle the situation. He feared that she was going to slip away. He remembered what it was like for his mother, who had died of cancer when he was thirteen. She didn't want to die alone, so his father brought her home. He remembered having to help her, that she was getting weaker and weaker, until one day, she actually got out of bed and baked him his favorite cookies. She had told him that she'd felt better. Jim would never forget that day, for when he went to see her the next morning, she'd passed away in the night…alone. The doctors had told him and his father that it happens that way. That patients—especially the ones who have been in so much pain for so long-- start to feel better right before they die.

Jim was glad that Kyle had straightened things out with Tess; that they were happily smiling and making jokes again. He didn't want Kyle to regret anything—just in case. Ava and Alex, along with Michael came back to the house. Calling the best pizza joint in town, he ordered a sheet of pizza and a bucket of wings for all of them, expecting Max, Liz, and Isabel to join them soon. They were all dragging along, tired and hungry. Hell, he was too tired to cook for them, ergo the pizza delivery. They deserved it after all they had been through.

Expecting a teenaged delivery guy, he told Alex to hide. Alex was to stay with Tess in Kyle's bedroom, out of sight, until they could come up with a good story for his 'death' and subsequent revival. Since Tess was in the bedroom, Ava could pretend to be her if it was someone that Kyle knew from school. All she needed to do was 'dye' her hair to its original color.

When they opened the door, Jim couldn't help but be surprised to see the Evans standing in his doorway. "Mr. Evans. Mrs. Evans. How are you? Um…I'm not trying to be rude, but what are you doing here? Is there something that I can do for you?"

Phillip Evans chose to speak, "Um. Yes, actually you can..." he looked around from the doorway, "Can we come in?"

Jim shot a look at his son. Kyle got it as he went into his bedroom to warn Tess and Alex NOT to come out. "Absolutely, come in." He motioned them in.

Diane gasped as she saw Ava sitting on the couch watching TV with Michael, who was dressed like Tess—dressed exactly like Tess, pregnant and all. "Oh, god. It's true." She started shaking, so her husband grabbed the nearest chair for her to sit in.

He stared at Ava, then closed his eyes. Once he was composed, he spoke, "We heard—about Tess being pregnant." Phillip took in a much needed deep breath, "Is it true, Tess? Is that Max's baby?"

Ava got scared, her eyes wide. Michael stood up and moved to her side. He pulled her to his side, hugging her slightly and making sure that she knew that he would protect her. She nodded, understanding that they had to believe that she was Tess. Tess wouldn't act like this…

"Yes. I'm pregnant with Max's son." She said this straightly, her answer leaving no doubt.

Diane asked, tears shining in her eyes, "His son?" She wiped the tears away with a handkerchief that Phillip handed her.

"Max and I are having a boy—a son."

They stood in silence, letting it soak in. Kyle had walked back into the room during the questioning. Biting his lip, he had no idea what to do or say; looking at his father, he guessed that his dad felt the same way.

The doorbell rang again. Kyle mumbled, "Yeah. Now the pizza guy's here." Jim, feeling the need to do something, went to the door to pay for the pizza.

Opening it, he was shocked to see Amy at the door. He smiled; her presence was the highlight of his day. He barely had time to blink before she, with Maria in tow, pushed past him. Yelling, "WHERE IS HE?"

Searching the room, Amy spotted the young man in question sitting on the couch besides Tess. She didn't notice the Evans; didn't notice 'Tess's condition'. "YOU! YOU HOOLIGAN! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU'D DO THIS TO ME! TO MY DAUGHTER!" She started hitting him, smacking his shoulder, hard. He stood up, hands out in front of himself in defense. He looked at Maria, who stood staring with her mouth hanging open, along with the others in the room.

"What'd I do?" He started backing up, but she kept following him to hit him. "Mrs. De Luca, what'd I do?"

"WHAT'D YOU DO? WHAT'D YOU DO? I CAUGHT YOU SLEEPING WITH MY DAUGHTER ONCE! I SHOULD'VE CASTRATED YOU! YOU—YOU JERK! YOU TAKE MY DAUGHTER'S INNOCENCE AND THEN GET HER PREGNANT AND THEN YOU ASK ME WHAT YOU DID?" She hit him harder, this time on the head. "YOU IDIOT!"

Diane gasped, "Oh, no! Not Maria too! Oh, god. I thought it was just Max and Tess. I'm so sorry, Amy."

Michael ran to duck behind the couch, "I didn't get Maria pregnant! Mrs. De Luca, I swear--Maria isn't pregnant! " He left out the part about taking her innocence, not wanting to lie to her mother.

Maria, now understanding why her mother had gone ballistic, ran up to her to stop her from bashing his head in, "MOM! I'M NOT PREGNANT! "

She stopped chasing Michael for a moment and let their words sink in slowly. "You're not pregnant? Are you sure?"

Maria was exasperated and extremely embarrassed, "Yes, mom! I'm sure! I'm not pregnant. Where did you even get an idea like that?"

Amy sank down into the couch next to 'Tess', "oh…well." She looked at Michael, "I'm sorry for hitting you…I thought that you hurt Maria."

Jim sat down next to his girlfriend, "You okay, Amy?"

She waved her hand and wiped her face with the other, "Yeah. I'm fine, now. I just thought…that Maria. I heard--."

People could say many things about Phillip Evans, but slow wasn't one of them, "You heard that one of the girls had gotten pregnant and thought it was Maria?"

"Yeah…Exactly. How'd you hear about that? I just heard it in the grocery store."

"The grocery store?" Ava stood up, "You heard that I was pregnant at the GROCERY STORE?"

Amy turned towards the girl that was sitting next to her, "YOU'RE PREGNANT?"

Ava got fed up with everything, "YES! I'm pregnant with Max's child! I can't believe that everyone is talking about me in a grocery store!" With that, she fled the room, running into Kyle's bedroom to switch places with Tess. Thank god that she's feeling better, Ava thought, or else she would never be able to handle this.

Mrs. Evans got up, moving to follow her. Jim stood in her path, now angry at all of them. "That's enough! I won't have you upset my daughter! Leave her alone; she's pregnant and the pregnancy has been very hard for her. I don't want her stressed out. It'll hurt the baby. Now, I want all of you to leave!"

Phillip wouldn't accept that, "I'm sorry, but if it's true, then the baby is also my son's. I would like to make sure that she's okay and what her plans are."

Jim got in his face, "I said that you are to leave. Tess will call you when and if she chooses to. I won't let you near her now. She's too upset and you're too angry. As for her plans, she's going to stay here with our family and raise her baby, with or without Max!"

It was hard to put the lawyer back in the box, "Without Max! He has rights! He's the baby's father. She has no right to keep him from his son!"

Soon the others started in, until the voices became unrecognizable in the midst of the mindless shouting.

Tess, the real Tess, sat on her bed, crying on Alex and Ava's shoulders. Ava cried along with her, rubbing her back, feeling her pain. Alex was barely breathing…just as upset as Ava and Tess at the situation.

Tess prayed that the shouting would end…not wanting her baby to cause this much despair. She sobbed until there were no more tears to cry.

They had all been through so much; kidnapping, betrayal, torture, fear of death… would it ever be over?

"My baby is going to die! They don't have to fight over him. He's going to die--." Tess cried. Her words came out in between breathless sobs, "Where's Max? Why isn't he here?"

The shouting, the anger was too much. Jim felt his control slip as the man he'd thought of as a good man and wonderful asset to the community shot his mouth off at his daughter. He didn't even think; his fist flew in the man's face before he had a chance to consider the ramifications.

Phillip fell back hard on the ground, his nose bleeding profusely. He stood up, his emotions like a raging bull, charging at Valenti, knocking him to the ground and pounding his fist in his face. Diane, Amy, and Maria screamed at the two mean to stop fighting as Michael and Kyle tried to break them apart. To keep them from killing each other.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!!!! JUST STOP IT!" The entire room froze, in complete surprise and shock. Max stood in the doorway, Liz beside him; his face full of disgust at the scene before him, "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? WHERE'S TESS? IS SHE OKAY? SHE DIDN'T HEAR ANY OF THIS, DID SHE?"

The adults in the room all looked at him sheepishly, ashamed at what they had done. He gritted his teeth and went over to his father, who was still being held by Michael, "Dad, please, just take Mom home…I'll be right there." He held out a hand to prevent argument, "Please, just this once, do as I ask. I'll meet you at home and then I'll explain everything. I—I just have to check on Tess, first."

Diane looked as if she was going to faint again, "To check on your son?"

Max walked over to his mother, held her face in his hands, then kissed her cheek, "Yes. To check on my son—and my wife."

His mother started crying as his father looked stricken. But they did as he asked. They left, quietly.

The entire room stared with wide-eyes; Liz's heart broke —Max declared Tess his wife…He finally accepted his destiny—a destiny without her in it. Liz turned and left the house, walking back to the Crashdown alone, teardrops lining the path of the sidewalk where she stepped.

Amy, feeling out of place now, pulled Maria and Michael out the door with her as she backed out. "Well, everyone. Thanks for an — interesting evening. We're going to go now. Bye!" She pushed the two teenagers out the door with her; Michael didn't even bother fighting her—it was futile to argue with a De Luca woman.

Max stood in the middle of the living room, his eyes closed. He looked over at Jim, whispered that he was sorry. The walked into the bedroom to see his wife.

To Be Continued… Again

How'd you like this chapter?

Good, huh? As always, if you see any mistakes or find something that doesn't make sense, please let me know.

Oh…And yeah, Isabel never made it to the Valenti's, if you're wondering why she wasn't there. (Car troubles—as usual.)

--Again, I only know a couple of things about S3, one of them that Isabel gets married to Jesse. (I'm thinking that she could 'bump' into him or something…that way Alex could be with Ava.)

I also need a really good story for how Alex could still be alive… I've got a few ideas, but nothing that isn't suspicious. (Any help would be welcome.)

Thanks for the reviews! –How'd you like the Tess/Ava/Alex interaction, Mony19? It's only a little, but I think it's definitely emotional…but of course, I'm hoping that it comes out in the story the way that I want it to. LadyTrista—His parents are definitely freaked out! AnniGH4ever—Tess/Max interaction in the next chapter, I promise…it's coming, trust me! It's worth the wait.

Thank you to Jen, Rebel Queen, PurpleFairyPrincess, pottergrl15, Agel15, Anon, Denethor's Angel, Cheekygirl, Mesia, and Kit for the reviews…you are awesome, please review again. I'd like to know how you like it…it helps me write.