Pony's Pov
I feel the hot tears forming in my grey-green eyes as Johnny's final breath is released from his body taking his life and beautiful soul far away from me. Eventhough the tears are there I can't cry, I'm too numb to allow those warm, liquid drops to trail down my cheeks. Dally's fist connect with the wall before he rushes out. No, Dally, you can't die, too. I already know that he will willingly surrender to death. As always though I awake panting before he falls prey to the police's bullets. Rubbing my eyes I absorb the white walls and familar faces to those I care about. A soft, beeping sound repeats itself in a steady rythm. "Where am I," I ask hoarsly. They all race to my bedside and eagerly stare at me wondering what I will say next. "Hey Pony," a boyish voice says and instantly I reconize the gentleness of it with it's undercurrent of pain and fear, a voice that breaks my heart because it belongs to the boy I loss. My breathing quickens as my heart pounds and I release a chocked sob. "I saw you die," I mummer and his eyes darken with confusion and hurt that tears my heart apart. I must admit that he's the only one that can do this to me. I already know that this is anouther one of my sick, twisted dreams that are meant to torture me. I look around frightened and ask in a shaking voice "Why am I here?" Darry brushes my hair back, and desperatly I want him to act like my brother and not some man I don't know trying to replace my father, saying " You've been in a coma since the Soc's jumped you." Guilt fills his eyes and I hug him finanly releasing those tears . You don't know how badly I wish this would end up being true and not some fantasy my mind is conguering up.
I release Darry and raise my eyes to meet blues cold enough to frezze even the toughest man's blood with fear. Those eyes are nearly hidden by white-blond hair that reminds me of sand from those beautiful beach photos with the sunset on the Flordia coast. I fight back the tears again and stammer stupidly knowing he can't hurt me in this lala dream land "I saw the cops gun you down." His eyes glow angrily and he growl dangerously " Johnny ain't dead and ain't no cop that can take down Dallas Winston, so get use to." I say sarcasticly "Sure, and I am the pope," and Darry hits me across the head. "That hurt," I mummer glaring at him but I can't stay angry at him because I missed him so much.
I crave to hug them all and tell them that I'm sorry, but there is one of those unwritten laws against affection with everyone except Soda. "Please let me be awake," I beg clutching Johnny's hand which recieves only a raised eyebrow from Steve and a knowing smile from my brother Soda. "No, you're in an ulternate realm and I'm the Easter Rabit," Twobit cracks with a wild grin that is contagious. Steve, the seventeen year old that hates me, approaches me and hugs my sore body saying "Guess even I missed you." I got to be awake even I can't imagine that happening. I take a slow surveliance of the room mentally photographing what I see.
Darry, my oldest brother and now mine and Soda's guardian, is standing there with his buff build and caring seacolored eyes next to Johnny as his hands are stuffed into his pockets. Soda is grinning at me with that movie star smile and his vivid brown's livily dance aroun, his golden hair is brushed back unsuccesfullly since some of it falls in front of his handsome face anyways. Mischevious grey eyes peer out of Twobit's face as rusty sideburns race down the sides of his head. Steve stands next to Twobit at the foot of the bed, his lanky yet toned form leaning on the foot rails and his swirly hair is greased over enough to slip off any stubburn ring off any wife's finger. Dallas still stands in the doorway with his elfish looks smoking a cigarette that dangles from his lips not caring who yelled at him.
Johnny begins laughing, and since that is unusual in itself, my eyes are instantly brought to him. "May I inquire as to what is so helarious,"I ask studying his tan face with that scar, the way his bangs fall over his eyebrows, and his black eyes. "You," he states calmly and I try Twobit's trick of raising an eyebrow but only succeed in sending him into a reel of laughter as I sourly say "Enlighten me." He smiles jumping onto the bed and nearly tipping us over as he leans onto of me so our faces are only inches apart then he quickly brushes his lips against my forehead before sitting beside me. "We're not homework for you to study," he says and with his free hand tugs the covers up as I say " I just wanted to make sure that everyone's alive." Twobit splits a grin and jokingly says "We are, each and every one of us, including your imaginary ones."
They listen patiently as I explain my story which they claim is a dream and Darry says for the tenth time "You got jumped on the way home from the movies." Johnny gently squezzes the hand that still holds his and says "You never screamed for help." His eyes mist over and his lips curve into a frown as he remembers something, probably his own beating by the Socs. I reach to pat his leg but slip touching something else, but he preeses himself into my palm as his eyes plead with me. "You okay, Johnny," I ask reaching to brush his bangs off his forehead but he swats my hand away. "Johnnycake lives with us now," Soda exclaims patting his dark head meaningfully and Johnny adds " I'm your new bed buddy since Soda's claiming his own room." I nearly begin jumping for joy and kissing him at the thought of sleeping next to him but comtain myself. He's a boy. A very cute boy. I'm a boy. An extreamly single boy. Get these thoughts out of your head right now. Nope, you like them too much. Great, just great. Now I'm fighting with myself. The fact that Johnny's warm body is curled up against mine as he sleeps isn't helping much either. He must know what he's doing to me because just as I was getting comfortable with him being so close his hand sneaks beneath the blanket to the bulge in my boxers. "You two are cute together," Soda whispers close to our faces so no one else hears him.
I whimper quietly as Johnny stops his massaging and flash him a hurt look which he only smiles at sympatheticly as he says "Sorry. Darry, when can we leave." My brother glances at the clock and says "As soon as he talks with the docter and gets a check over." Johnny tugs on my hair saying "Maybe we should bleach it. You seem to like talking about bleaching it alot, and bologna." I shake my head forcefully saying "You faker. And no one is touching my hair. You ruthlessly chopped it off and bleached it. I hated looking like that." Johnny smiles and softly says "You and Soda both have great hair so I'm glad that you don't want it destroyed.
I struggle to stay awake through the test and nearly fail until the doctor says "Ponyboy, you are gay and need consouling to fix that problem." I glare at him, stand up and snap "Go to hell." The doctor shakes his head tsking my behaviour but I ignore him and proceed out the door. "Ponyboy, aren't you suppose to be with that doctor," Darry scolds and I shrug saying "He ain't my boss." Johnny raises his big,puppy eyes to mine as he says "He's only trying to help." I shrug pulling on the cutoffs sweatshirt that Soda tosses at me then the jeans Steve throws at my head. "Pony, are you mad at me or something," Johnny asks as we walk to Darry's truck and I slip an arm over his shouldrs saying 'Nope, who could be mad at you, you're our pet. We need you, I need you." He nods staring a whole into his shoes.