Creature Complaints

A Final Fantasy FanFic by ArcaneWeapon

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the creatures mentioned in this fic. You know who does. I hope.

It was time for the annual Creature Convention. This year, they had decided to meet on the world of Gaia. The world we humans know better as Final Fantasy nine. They selected it at the request of the moogles, who felt their rights were being infringed upon. The chocobos had wanted to hold the meeting in their sky garden, but seeing as how the cactaurs and moombas couldn't fly, they decided to hold it in a big open place instead. None of them were actually really sure where it was, which likely explained the relativly low turnout.

The meeting mainly consisted of moogles and chocobos, with a few moombas here and there. There were only nine cactaurs present since they were the only ones who could move. All of their mothers were firmly rooted in the ground. Noticing one missing, a moogle walked over and questioned the others as to where it was.

"I thought there were ten of you? I can't tell you guys apart because you all look the same. I have no idea how you do it, but which of you is missing?" it asked.

"Green canopy above. Cliffs from side to side. He'll be there all day. Chiapa loves to play."

The moogle blinked a few times before hesitantly nodding its head and walking away. "Crazy, I swear they're crazy. Never understand a damn thing they say. No idea why we even invite them."

Eventually, one of the chocobos arrived with a cactaur on its back, saying that it had found it in Chocobo's Forest jumping around the cliffs. Apparently after the chocobo had managed to catch the cactaur, it had tried to play some silly dodging game, but the chocobo had just deftly knocked it out with its beak and carried it back to the meeting.

"Now that everyone is finally here," a moogle said with a glare at the unconscious cactaur, "we can start this meeting. Our primary issue today is with moogle rights. Kupo, you can take it from here."

Another moogle walked up to the podium and took the other's place at the microphone. It looked exactly the same, yet suddenly all the moogles there started chanting "Kupo, Kupo" over and over. Kupo started to speak once the clamor died down.

"As many of you already know, we moogles are forced to do a very menial task everyday of our lives. We are forced to carry mail."

This announcement was met with boos from all the moogles in the audience. The remaining creatures frowned at this news, and listened with growing anger.

"At one point we had a group helping us out, but now that they've settled down, we're forced to do all the work on our own. Is this fair I ask you?"

"NO!" all the moogles screamed back.

"Are we going to stand for this any longer?"

"NO!"

"Are we going to make the damn humans carry their own mail?"

"YES!"

"Kweh kweh kweh kweh kweh kweh? Kweh kweh kweh! Kweh kweh kweh kweh!" one of the chocobos called out.

There was a moment of confusion, before another moogle ran up to the microphone to translate what had been said.

"You think you've got it bad? Try carrying them on your back all day! You're not even in all the games!"

This comment caused quite a commotion amongst the moogles, but before they could respond, a moomba shoved its way to the stage and ripped the microphone away from the moogle.

"All of this is nothing, nothing at all compared to what we have to deal with. Most people don't even know who the hell we are! We're in one, one, game and hardly even mentioned at that! People talk about how cute the moogles, chocobos, and cactaurs are, but do we moombas get any attention? No! You should be thankful for what you already have."

The other creatures started booing, throwing objects, and after a small riot, the moombas were driven off, left to wallow in their anonymity.

"What were those things called again?" Kupo asked as he took the microphone back. "I've never heard of 'em before… Who invited them? Anyways, do our cactaur friends have anything to say? They've been strangely quiet so far. Wait… Where are they?"

There was a brief search before a small note was discovered. On it was scribbled ten different riddles, that no one could make any sense of at all. In the end, it was decided that due to the fact no one wanted to go out and search for all the cactaurs, they would be left out of the revolution.

"So, we are in agreement that something must be done about our squalid conditions?" asked Kupo.

There was a general murmuring of approval, but less than expected, mainly because most of the creatures didn't understand what squalid meant. Despite this, several plans were quickly made. Once everything had been decided, the creatures went back to their normal lives in their normal worlds. They acted the same as always, but whenever something would upset them, they would just think of the coming revolution and endure till then.

When is this revolution? No one knows, other than the moogles and chocobos, of course. Most of the moogles are convinced that at least half the chocobos have already forgotten. All that is certain is that someday, somewhere, at some unknown time, once someone has pressed the final button, after something really bad has happened, something frighteningly scary in its awfulness is going to happen.

So when you're laughing at the moogle for being forced to carry your mail, abusing the chocobo you're riding on, or not searching for that last cactaur, just remember that something terribly, dreadfully big is going to happen because of it. And please don't forget about the poor moombas, they deserve love just like everyone else.