Chapter Twelve: The duel
"What kind of crappy story is that? I mean, there weren't even any gay strippers in it! Dude, I think your sister here has gone mental. For one thing, she gave birth to a snake who she calls Demeter! Demeter! What kind of sucky name is that! Alexander is pretty dorky too. Alexander needs some spicing up…how about Alejandro?" Harry said.
"Harry! Stories don't need to have gay strippers in it to be good! Besides, You-know-who is a snake…it's his fault that she gave birth to a snake! Blame his sperm! Does You-know-who even have sperm?" Cedric said looking surprised.
"A question that baffles all…" Harry said thoughtfully.
"Anyways, Alejandro is a pretty good name, but Alexander is dead. No point in naming a dead child!" Cedric shot back.
"Ahem," Leila interrupted. "I enjoy all of this but, we are getting late for the Dark Lord. Shouldn't we be going now?"
"No! What makes you think we are coming? We will just turn you over to Dumbledore and he will decide what to do with you!" Cedric said with disgust.
"Oh really? Well, I challenge you to a Dead Wizard Duel!" Leila yelled.
"I will be honored to defeat you!" Cedric yelled back.
Harry suddenly found a microphone on his hand and began speaking in a 'Game Show Host voice': "Hello, ladies and gentleman and welcome to another (actually…only) Dead Wizard Duel. Let's introduce our 'experienced' contestants. On this corner of the slightly scary hallway…she is sassy, she is sexy ("Harry! She's my sister!" Cedric shouted), and she had sex with Lord Voldemort! Please give a big round of applause for Leila Diggory. Fake audience claps.
And on this corner of the deserted hallway, he's hot ("Just kidding Cedric!"), he participated in the Triwizard Tournament, and he probably kissed Cho Chang many times…please give a big hand for Cedric Diggory!
Fake audience claps again.
Okay! Let's begin, shall we? One…two…THREE!"
Leila and Cedric walked up to each other and bowed. They turned back and turned around to face each other immediately. They aimed their wands and…
"Expelliarmus!"
Cedric smiled at his job well done. Leila was knocked flat. But the duel wasn't over yet! Leila got back to her feet straightening her hair and robes and shouted, "Petrificus Totalus!" but nanoseconds before the spell hit his body, Cedric yelled out, "Protego!". The spell bounced off of him and hit Leila squarely in the eye. Leila stumbled backwards, looking surprised. Cedric looked amused and started laughing. What he didn't notice was that Leila was aiming for another spell. Before he could even blink his eye, Leila quickly yelled out the first spell that came to her mind, "Furnunculus!" Cedric began to sprout several boils. "Nooooo! My perfect skin is being tortured by evil little growing thingies! Someone find me some nice-smelling lotion!"
Leila began cackling evilly. Harry took out his wand and ended the spell, "Finite!"
"Hey! No fair! You never helped me!" Leila whined.
"Well duh! That's the point! I am on his side! Do you really think I want to be sent to Lord Voldemort?" Harry responded looking aggravated.
"Hmmph…loser," Leila muttered.
Cedric immediately ended the duel by stunning her straight in the chest. Leila went stiff and collapsed. Harry and Cedric smiled and dragged Leila to Professor Dumbledore.
"Ced, how do ghosts duel? Won't the spell go right through them?" Harry asked Cedric along the way.
"Well, ghosts do have some limitations. For example, ghosts can't put spells on humans, for some unexplained reason. Humans, on the other hand, can put a spell on ghosts and the spell would affect the ghost. Ghosts can fight with each other, though. They both contain some sort of inner strength which allows them to be solid during duels," Cedric responded.
When they reached the staircase leading to Professor Dumbledore's room, they stopped. They didn't know the password to get into Dumbledore's office. This turned out to be of no need, because Dumbledore was right behind them.
End of Chapter Twelve
Author Notes: So? Do you like it? Please Review! I take constructive criticism only!