Goodbye.
I stared at the Police Plaza, I passed it every single day on my way to my new office. Heh, Holly Short, Private Detective.
If only the Commander could see me now. I like to think he would have been proud of me. He was idol, the one I looked up too, though I rarely followed his orders. I did that last one though; I hope he knows, I followed his final order.
I don't think I'll ever truly believe he's really gone, I keep expecting him to burst through the door of my new office telling me to get my butt back to work. But each morning I stare at the door, and he never comes. And slowly I start staring less and less, only looking at it when a person in need of my services comes in.
I no longer blame myself; at least, I know I could not have done anything, but maybe if I hadn't listened to Opal... Maybe I could have done something more, maybe she was lying, maybe there was a sweet spot and maybe I really missed.
But maybe's rarely matter in this job. They rarely matter at all.
They didn't even let me go to his recycling, and I'll never forgive them for that, Root was the closest person in the world to me. He believed in me. When no one else did. Even though he yelled and screamed at me, I could tell he was proud. And at times now, I still need him more than ever. But I dream about him, I dream that he's there and telling me to keep at it. So I will, for him as much as for myself. But sometimes, in place of his inspirational messages, I see the day he died, I watch horrified from the sidelines, myself shooting the bomb and his body being ripped to pieces, I see the pain in his eyes, though I know it was too quick a death for him to really feel it, but I still see it. The nightmares come when I can't help but feel as if it really was my fault, despite Artemis can see it, I seem to hide it well from everyone else. But Artemis, can tell I still miss him more than ever. I want him back, I want to see him one more time, I want to hold him again, I want to properly say goodbye.
But this will have to do.
I know wherever you are, you're proud of me.
Goodbye, Julius.