(bows)

…:::…

After dashing back to our room, Crystyna and I lay panting on the beds, laughing and trembling at the same time. Laughing because the situation was hysterical, trembling because we knew we were in deep trouble and would have to face Legolas' wrath.

"Well, that was fun," Crystyna commented.

"Yeah. We're dead meat, though," I replied.

"…yep."

"I bet you ten bucks that he'll come up here to yell at us within half an hour."

"Laura, we don't have any money. And if we did, I wouldn't bet you, because you'd do anything to win a bet."

"That is so not true!"

"Yes it is. Remember the time we went to that party and you snorted Pixy Stix for two dollars?"

"I was drunk."

"You were not. You were sixteen and you were trying to impress that guy Peter."

"So what's your point?"

"My point is that you'll do anything to get that ten bucks-"

"But you just said we don't have money."

"Yes, I realize that, you ninny. But if we did have ten bucks, you'd do anything short of going back down to the hall and provoking Legolas to come yell at us."

"You know me too well, Tuna m'dear."

Not two seconds later, someone knocked on the door. We both squealed and dove under the beds.

"Um… no one is in here right now. They all died," Crystyna called.

"It is alright, girls, it's me," a female voice called.

"Arwen?"

"Yes."

"Oh thank god." I shimmied out from under the bed and unlocked the door. "We were afraid it was Legolas and that he was going to kill us." Arwen smiled.

"Well, he is acting rather murderous at the moment," she commented.

"Oh, biscuits."

"Laura, did you just say 'biscuits'?" Crystyna asked, glancing at me.

"Yes. Yes I did."

"That's so fetch."

"…right."

"Anyway," Arwen interrupted, "I think I know why you…did what you did. And if your goal was aiming to embarrass Gaya, I am happy to say that you succeeded. I am not too fond of her, either."

"Arwen, have I ever told you how much I love you?" I asked. She smiled.

"No, but I can say that without a doubt almost everyone that has ever met that woman has disliked her."

"She just doesn't like me and Laura 'cause we're too cool for her," Crystyna commented. I grinned and Arwen laughed.

"Well, I should probably go back to the dinner. I would highly recommend that the two of you keep clear from Legolas for a while." She gave us another attractive smile and closed the door.

"Well then," I said after a minute or two. "Should we be regretting that whole ordeal?"

"Naw," Crystyna said. "It was too much fun to regret."

"This is true."

"Let's go to sleep now."

"'k."

And so we did.

...:…

The next day Crystyna and I snuck out of the halls very early in the morning; the sun was barely over the horizon. We packed a small picnic lunch that consisted of bread, cheese, wine, grapes, cake, a leftover piece of ham from the night before, water, two eggs, and a bag of dried fruit.

We were just about to leave when Crystyna said, "We should probably leave a note to tell them where we're going."

"Ah, Tuna, you are a genius. Hand me a napkin and a pen, my lovely."

Dear whoever cares,

We've gone coon huntin'. Yeehaw! Please pretend to care when you have some spare time. We'll be back when we feel like it, punk. Don't forget to write. See ya on the flip side.

Muchos lurve from

The Wise Women of the Forest (with lots of curlies and wavy lines)

"Perfecto." I attached it to our door and we went down to the stables.

We each rode our horses out the gates. The guards didn't ask where we were going, which was unusual. Instead they gave us these creepy grins that will forever scar me. So off we galloped into the wild blue yonder, a.k.a. the area outside of the city by the foot of the mountains. Then we started climbing up the narrow paths, because I wanted to show Crystyna where Elrohir and I had gone on our midnight ride. Ooer.

It took a lot longer to get there than I had expected. The sun was high in the sky by the time we reached the area my lovely elf had taken me.

"This took longer than I expected," I called over my shoulder. "Sorry."

"Well, it could be the fact that we got lost at least three times."

"Hey, I never was good at geography."

As we climbed higher I turned around to grin at Crystyna. She didn't seem to be sharing my excitement, however. In fact, she looked quite scared.

"What's the matter, Tuna?"

"I don't like it here. It's spooky," she said, her voice trembling slightly.

"Psshaa. It's fine. Elrohir wouldn't have taken me up here if it wasn't safe."

"Hello, he's an elf. Elves are super cool and have super cool fighting skills. He could have gotten rid of like, ten orcs by himself if he wanted." I glanced around. It actually was rather creepy. It sort of looked like the area that Frodo and Sam had been in when they met up with Gollum. But, being the brave, courageous woman that I am, I led on the way.

As we rounded a turn in the path, the sound of rocks falling filled the air. I looked up, terrified that I would see huge boulders coming down to squash me. But it was just a few pebbles that had fallen off a ledge above us. I glanced back to Crystyna, who was holding her horse's mane in a death grip. I tried to give her a reassuring smile, but I don't think she noticed. We went on.

A few minutes later we heard the rocks again, but this time we noticed something else: the sound of someone scuffling away, as though trying not to be seen.

"Okay, time to go," Crystyna whispered. Before we could, though, a figure came toppling off the ledge and landed right in front of Duke. It was wearing a black cloak with the hood over its head. Duke reared up and neighed. The person looked up. We screamed, he screamed, and then all of us ran in opposite directions screaming. Once we had galloped a sufficient ways away, Crystyna started sobbing.

"Ohmygodohmygod, it was a Nazgul! Oh my god I don't wanna die again! Can we please go back, please Laura, I'm so scared," she whimpered.

"Well for one thing, it wasn't a Nazgul, because the Nazgul are dead or whatever. Plus, whoever, or whatever, that was, it screamed like a human being, not a supernatural creature."

"I don't care, Laura! I'm scared out of my mind and I want to go back home!"

"Well, fine, but I'm gonna go see what it is. Don't come if you don't want to."

"No, don't leave me! I'm not going down there alone!"

"Suit yourself. Stay here, then. Alone. By yourself." I turned Duke around and walked away.

3…2…1…

"Wait, wait! I'm coming!"

When we got back to the place where the thing had fallen, I stopped and looked up. I yelled, "Hallo! Whoever you are, come out here! We won't hurt you unless you hurt us, or unless you hit on us!"

No response. Crystyna whimpered.

"We're poor, defenseless, hot, curious women! Come on out here!"

Silence. Crystyna sniffled.

"We've got food!"

Immediately I saw someone peak out around a rock. They were wearing a black cloak, but this time the hood was pulled back to reveal an old man's face. He had a very long white beard, and deep blue eyes. I gulped and forced myself to smile.

"Hello. We've just come up here for a picnic, and-"

"Are you from the White City?" the man asked in a raspy voice.

"Er…no. We're actually from another world." The man clearly thought I had lost my mind, which I probably had.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Long story."

"Very well." He perked up a bit and smiled. "I say, did you say you have food? Wonderful! Come with me, I'm positively ravenous." I dismounted quickly; this guy seemed cool. He didn't talk without using contractions like everyone else did. Crystyna hesitated, then slowly slipped off the back of her horse and followed me. As we rounded a bend we came across the opening to a cave. Inside there was a small fire burning. The man ducked under the archway and beckoned for us to follow. We did, and seated ourselves on some old cloaks laying on the floor.

"Make yourself comfortable. My name is Ithildinren."

"Pardon?"

"My name is Ithildinren."

"What's that again?" Crystyna asked.

"Ithildinren," he repeated for the third time, irritated.

"Oh. Um, may we call you something else? That's sort of hard to say."

"If you wish."

"Awesome. Can we call you Bob?"

"It matters not. I haven't been called anything for many years. What are your names?"

"I'm Crystyna, and that's Laura."

"Such strange names. Bob, Crystyna, and Laura. Very peculiar."

"Wicked names. So, Bob, why do you live in a cave?" I asked. Crystyna began taking food out of her bag. Bob eyed it hungrily.

"I was exiled from Minas Tirith many years ago," he answered, tearing a large piece off the loaf of bread we had brought.

"What for?"

"I was accused of helping the Dark Lord Sauron during the War of the Ring." Crystyna made a strange noise, and a flood of terror washed over me. Bob seemed to notice this. "Oh, don't worry. I stopped assisting him when Saruman came along. So I came to live up in these mountains. No one ever comes here; they all think it's haunted."

"Wonderful," Crystyna squeaked.

"Yes, indeed," Bob said, apparently not catching on to the sarcasm. "I get very lonely, though, so it was a relief to see you two. Although I thought you were Elves at first, with your long hair and green tunics."

"What, don't you live elves?" I asked.

"Oh, Valar no. I hate them. Pesky things, really." I glanced at Crystyna.

"Heh heh… yeah. Pesky."

"I saw some here a few nights ago. They were on horseback. It was very late, nearly three in the morning, from what I could tell by the stars." I gulped and took a quick swig of wine. Crystyna glared at me and handed a piece of ham to the wizard, who gnawed on it greedily.

"You know, Laura, we should probably get going soon," she said loudly and obviously. I squished a grape between my fingers sheepishly. Bob looked sad.

"Don't leave yet. I get so lonely, and you've only just gotten here."

"I'm really sorry, but we need to be heading home. I promise we'll come back to see you soon, though!" I said helpfully. Crystyna gaped at me, and Bob looked thrilled.

"I'll greatly look forward to it. Farewell!" he called as we ducked out of the cave. We mounted our horses and trotted back down the slope.

"I cannot believe you, Laura! You're so retarded! Why did you tell him we'd go back soon? He's so weird!"

"Dude, he's totally awesome. He's like Gandalf, only a bad guy. But now he's a good guy!" I finished quickly as I saw the look she was giving me.

"You are so dumb."

By the time we got back to Minas Tirith, it was early afternoon, probably around two o'clock. People were milling about the city, doing whatever it is that poor people in another world do. But they were all acting strange. Every single woman we passed glared viciously at us, and all the men (minus the very young boys) smirked or hooted when they saw us ride past.

"Well, this is rather disgusting," I commented quietly as a fat toothless man winked at us and grinned.

"Laura, Crystyna!" someone shouted. I stopped Duke and saw Aelis shoving her way through the crowd.

"Oh no," Crystyna hissed. "She's going to kill us for what we did last night!"

"I'm so glad I found the two of you!" she said excitedly. Her eyes were glittering with happiness. "I have the most wonderful news!" She stopped and beamed at us.

"Well, what is it?" Crystyna asked after about ten seconds.

"Well, by now I'm sure everyone in the city knows about your antics last night," she said, trying to act angry. But we saw right through that. I think it was the broad grin that gave it away. "Well, you know Blossom was there, and she thought that it would be fabulous to ruin my reputation by telling everyone that I knew the two of you."

"Gee, thanks," I muttered. She laughed happily.

"Anyways, her plan completely backfired, so now everyone knows that I know you, and they assume my father, who owns the inn, knows you as well. People are positively flooding the pub downstairs, trying to spot the two of you! The men were so furious when they found out that you weren't there. We've made so much money today, thanks to you girls. My father wants to hire the two of you to make appearances." My jaw dropped, and Crystyna was beaming even more broadly than Aelis was.

"That is fan-bloody-tastic" she shrieked. "We'll totally do it! Oh man, we can get money, and we can wear our awesome dresses all the time, and-"

"Hold up, Tuna. I don't think Legolas will be too happy to hear about it," I warned.

"Oh, he'll think its great that we've gotten a job and can get out of his hair."

"Good point."

"So you'll do it then?" Aelis asked, pleading with her eyes.

"Ah, hell, why not?" I said, smiling. She squealed and hugged my legs.

"Oh, thank you so much! You have no idea what this means to me! You two are great friends! Father wants to meet you tomorrow afternoon at suppertime, so come down and wear those dresses you made; it'll make a good impression. I can't wait until you start working, it will be so much fun." She beamed again. "I will see you tomorrow evening!" She disappeared back into the crowd, fairly leaping with joy.

"Man, I can't wait to see everyone's faces when they find out that we've practically become prostitutes," Crystyna commented proudly.

"I know, it's gonna be fab."

"Laura, Crystyna!"

"What now?" I grumbled. I perked up, though, once I saw that it was the lovely Twins (with a capital T.)

"Everyone seems rather fond of you now, I've noticed," Elrohir said with a coy smile. I smirked.

"Everyone minus the women, at least." They laughed.

"We found the note on your door. Did you catch any, ah, 'coons'?" Elladan asked. Crystyna tossed her hair flirtatiously at him.

"Well, we would have, but the coons had a pressing social engagement, so we couldn't kill them as we would have liked to," I said in mock sadness.

"I'm sure," Elrohir said.

"Legolas positively had a fit when he saw that the two of you had left before he could yell at you…again," Elladan commented with a sneaky grin.

"Huh. Well, he's going to love us even more when we tell him the great news we have." The twins glanced at each other.

"This will be good," they said simultaneously.

"I bet you ten bucks he'll yell at us within thirty seconds," I said to Crystyna.

"You're on."

…:::…

Oh, BOO YAH! Who updated after nearly two months of not updating!? LAURA, THAT'S WHO!!! Yeah, baby, this took me an hour to write. I know it was boring, anticlimactic, and dull, and didn't even compare the excitingness that was the last chapter (hahaha), but oh well, at least it's something! (does a happy dance) Well, y'all better review, if ya know what's good for ya. (twirls pistol around) Hoo-ah!

Lurve,

!Laura!:.