Title: Another Riveting Update….
…
which is mostly an A/N. DON'T KILL ME. THERE'S (some) STORY IN HERE (somewhere)!!!
Anybob. Hello there, young children! Yes yes yes, I know I haven't updated. In a long time. And you want to castrate me with a spoon right now BUT…
Too bad.
'Cause if you do that then you'll NEVER GET AN UPDATE!! AHAHAHAHAH!!!
(ahem)
Just for a little fun, I thought I'd do something cool, and give you my vision of what the trailer for "ROTROTCS" would be like. Enjoy! (Hint: whenever CTV talks, he is talking off a black screen with white letters. When anyone else says something, it's a scene out of part of one of the stories. Got it? Sweeeeet.)
(black screen, classic trailer preview voice CTV)
CTV: In a world… where evil once ruled…
(flash of Sauron's big ugly face)
CTV: …danger is around every corner…
(shot of orc carrying Laura away screaming)
CTV: …elves defy the laws of gravity…
(shot of Legolas standing on the back of a horse shooting arrows)
CTV: …and PMS ain't just one week a month…
(shot of two angry looking brown eyes)
CTV: …comes the story of two heroines…
(silhouettes of two girls Crystyna and Laura on a mountain with lightning in the background)
CTV: …who are completely out of their minds.
Crystyna and Laura: …huh?!
Legolas: (sigh)
(Usher's "Yeah" chorus starts playing, black screen with white letters)
CTV: (reading text on screen) On a certain date hopefully within the next two months…
Laura: (movie clip) We're gonna be totally hot!
CTV: ...no…
Crystyna: (movie clip) Legolas is gonna be so pissed…
CTV: …no…
Laura: (movie clip) We made sweet procreational whoopee. He had a really large pe-
Elves: (sitting around campfire, covering ears and wincing) Erggghhh.
Legolas: NO.
Laura: (smirk)
CTV: The Two Fools make their return.
Crystyna and Laura: WOO! (high five)
CTV: And this time, it ain't gonna be pretty…
(shot of Crystyna and Laura clawing at each others' faces and screeching)
CTV: …or is it?
(shot of the twins looking sexy with heavenly music in background)
Laura: (on her knees) Thank you God, I am in heaven…
Suga Daddy: No you ain't. You dead.
Laura: WHAT??
(Title screen with big gold LOTR style letters)
CTV: Legolas Stalker's RETURN OF THE RETURN OF THE CELERY STICKS.
Crystyna: Oh. HELL. Yes.
COMING SOON(ish) TO A COMPUTER SCREEN NEAR YOU
Rated SSS – Stupid and Slightly Slutty
Well that was fun. Hooah. I'm outta here, kids. Look for an update by… uh… March 31st or so. (d'oh)
Mucho Lurve,
Laura