Disclaimer: I don't own yyh or any of it's characters.

Kds," Sorry I haven't updated for so long, ppl! I'm really, really sorry, so please don't kill me! And thank you anyone who gave me ideas. I used most if not all of them. And thank you everyone who reviewed!

Kurama looks at Kds," So, it's Koenma's turn right now, right?

Kds nods," Yep! Now go!"

Kurama," I'm going, I'm going.. geez." He leaves the room after he had grabbed his camera.

Kds smiles," And btw, ppl, if you're interested, I have a few more fics up on this site under a different penname, Kuramasdarkside, so if your interested in reading a few more of my fics, read those and please review.

And Masta of DOOM, just to let you know, Kurama was in an animal form, as in a real kitsune not Youko because I know he could talk in his demon form and I know it would be degrading but kitsune, as in real foxes, growl or bark or whatever..

WARNING: KOENMA FANS DO NOT READ. MAJOR BASHING... AND OTHER STUFF... DON'T FLAME!

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Observation 7 part 1

Koenma

Kurama continued to run quickly and agilely through the hallway that lead to the next specimen's room. "Rwoorr..reeww." (need... food... ) He stopped when he noticed the blue oni, Jorge pacing worriedly outside the door with a bouquet of flowers in his hand and he was mumbling something over and again. Kurama quikly hid under a random chair that just so happened to be there not far from him.

"Koenma, I love you. You are the most beautiful, fairest, graceful creature alive. I shall become your sex slave... please let me be your sex slave! which is followed by begging. Yes that works... Now repeat to one more time.." Jorge keeps on mumbling to himself as he forms a hole in the floor because of his walking back and forth.

Kurama was staring wide-eyed at the blue oni, both confused and creeped out. ' Had he gone mad or something?' He quickly shakes it off and slips through a small crack in Koenma's large, irondoor. He quickly jumped behind the couch before changing into his human form. He holds up the camera toward himself and turns it on," Welcome back minna-san. Now, we are here to observe the species known as Toddlerious Paciferious a.k.a Koenma. This species apparently has a gay lover, that is waiting for him outside. Now, let us watch him." Kurama looks around for Koenma and notices him sitting by his desk, with dozens of aspirin bottles scattered everywhere, along with pills, marijuana, crack, smokes, needles, and others bad stuff like that. "Well, it appears that this species is a drug addict."

Koenma turns around and tears were staining his face," Oh, why, oh why must it be this way! The pacifier wants Botan so bad but she wants to kill me!! And I promised it that I would help it... but... OH DADDY!" Koenma continues sobbing like a girl. Koenma grabs a bottle of pills and downs the whole thing and throws the bottle on the ground. Several more tears fall down his face," And what's worse is what this pacifier does to me!" Koenma pulls out the pacifier and there was a poof of smoke and when it disappears... he was a she.. her hair was now really long and almost reached to her ass.

Kurama gawked, with his mouth hanging widen open. He gets slight hold of himself," It also appears that this specimen is in fact a woman."

The now woman Koenma continues crying as she takes some more pills. "The pacifier turns me into a man, even when I just have it near me or in my pocket, because it wants Botan... No one other then Jorge knows that I am a woman.. The pacifier wants Botan while I want some one else... I want.... " gets out a picture of Kuwabara naked," MY DEAR KAZUMA!! How I love you... I am already pregnant with your child... or maybe it's Yusuke's... " She gets out a tiny red note book and looks through it," It could even be Hiei's due to that one night when I drugged him up so badly he couldn't see straight and then I took advantage of him... I wish I could drug Kurama up since I want to take advantage of him as well, but that's beyond the point! I LOVE YOU AND ONLY YOU KAZUMA-SAMA!!!!" She injects a needle into her arm as she continues crying.

Kurama was not moving or breathing. He was just blinking repeatedly. He gulps," Well, it appears that this specimen got pregnant with either fightious punkious, stupidious uglious, or firey hnious... " 'Memo to self, never be alone in a room with Koenma, alcohol, or any sort of drug... or candy... mmm.... candy... I want pixie stick.... pixie....'

Jorge walks in the room and hands Koenma a beautiful bouquet of flowers," Here you are, Koenma-chan."

" Thank you, Jorge. Could you get me more drugs? And some polish vodka?" Koenma asks in a sweet voice.

Jorge nods happily," Anything for you, goddess of beauty." With that he starts running and runs through the wall.

Suddenly Koenma's cellphone went off. She answers it," Hello?... Oh, Sakyo-kun, how is there in heaven or hell or where ever you are?... good to know... yes, of course I have done as you asked and I am officially the leader of the black black club.... that is a good idea,... sell Yusuke to them as a play toy... that could work.. well, I shall see what I can do... Sayonara, Sakyo-kun." She closes her cellphone and sighs dreamily," He is so hot.. if only he were alive..."

Kurama gulps," Well, it appears that she is the leader of the black market... I am now afraid... very afraid..."

Koenma sighs as she stands up," I wish that I could be together with my only koi, Kazuma.. he is my god.. yet he loves that fucking sluttly, bitchy, ugly, stuck-up, fat, stupid, preppy whore, Yukina... She will die and Hiei won't be able to kill me... why? because I am the assassinator... so I shall assassinate Yukina and no one shall ever know I done it! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH coughgag hack AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!"

"Koenma-chan, I got your things!" Jorge yells as he run into the room through the wall.

Koenma smiles happily," Thank you Jorge. You are so sweet. And I am sorry for yelling at you yesterday." With that Koenma kisses Jorge on the cheek causing Jorge to promptly pass out.

Kurama holds back his laughter with all his might, snickering at times though," I would have never thought that could happen.. Koenma and Jorge.. cute couple.. I wonder what their kids would look like?" Kurama shudders at the thought," Eww... that's just... no..."

Koenma picks up all her stuff and puts in a drawer in the desk. She sits down on the desk gracefully, showing off her slim figure.

Slight droll escapes Kurama lips but he quickly wipes it off,' Maybe it would not be that bad to get raped by her... No! Must not think like that..'

Koenma looks around, making sure no one was around before taking off her shirt, revealing a black bra. Koenma starts playing around with the bra as she lays down flat in the table, fully stretched out, with her hair everywhere.

Kurama watched this, with a look of interest in his eyes.

Koenma removed her pants, now only wearing a black bra and black lacey underwear. She stretches slightly, still laying on the desk," Men clothes are so annoying. I can't believe I am forced to wear them. Maybe I should play with my realistic doll of Kazuma-kun.. Yes, I shall do that." Koenma reaches behind her desk and pulls out a doll that looked exactly like Kuwabara. If they were in a room, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between them. Koenma looks at the doll lovingly as he starts masturbating with the doll, I'm not going into details..

Kurama shudders again as he continues recording this," I guess she is also slightly slutty... Maybe I should take my leave now... yes, it would probably be for the best.. So, I shall conclude the study of this.. interesting species... next time we shall observe... hmm.... how about... tormentious bionicalous, Mukuro.. Until then.. ja ne.." With that he turns off the camera and changes into his kawaii spirit form. He then bolts for the door and runs out of the room just as Yusuke and the others walk into the room to see the regular male Koenma, fully dressed and beating the shit out of Jorge for some reason.

"Oi, pacifier bitch, have ya seen fox-boy anywhere?" Yusuke asks.

Koenma looks at Yusuke questioningly," No, why?"

"Because that stupid little mother-fucker recorded everything that we did." Botan says through clenched teeth, thinking of ways to torment the kitsune.

"He probably got you by now." Kuwabara says as he pokes the still unconscious Jorge.

Koenma eyes widen," Oh fuck.. so he heard me talking to myself about how I.. and it.. and him.. And that I am… and that he got me.... OH FUCK!!!!!! I'LL KILL HIM!!!"

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Kds," Sorry if that wasn't the best but hey, i tried. And sorry if it was short. I promise you all the next chappie shall be longer!

Kurama," I can't believe Koenma is a woman...

Kds," I know but atleast now we know that anything's possible..

Kurama," Hey, with Mukuro next chapter... will she kill me??

kds pats Kurama's head," Don't worry, Kura-kun. She won't.

Kurama smiles happily," . Review please!