Disclaimer—See Chapter One
A/N: I'm so sorry for not posting sooner, I didn't mean to leave you all with that cliffhanger for so long! Our family got sad news this week that has taken up a lot of my time, so I apologize for the delay and thank you so much for all your patience and encouragement! Thank you Lisa, Regan, Mxfan214, x-shalimar-x, Saphire Ravven8, Rain, courtney, AussieMXfan, blackpanther, hi, Fiery Feral, Mayra, CatJerica, Meg, FireFeral! Rogue, thank you so much for the feedback! I am so happy you are enjoying the story so far! This next chapter slows things down a bit for you, it's ironic actually since it's the longest one yet, but yet nothing really happens, lol. :) And for once, no cliffhanger :) Thank you all for everything, I appreciate you all!
Traveling Souls—Chapter Ten
Pressure, unlike anything he'd ever felt before, seized his chest, and he immediately dropped to the ground, eyes wide, frozen in a shuddering attempt to breathe. Misty fog pounced upon him, greedily seeping into every orifice; shoving up his nose, clogging and burning his ears, pouring into his panicked mouth. Death was nothing like he imagined. He never expected to feel it. Pain, brief and hot, and then freezing cold, heart contracting and slowing to a stop. And then screaming, grief-stricken screaming, rising in pitch.
"Nooooo! Oh no! No, no, no, no."
He was dead. He didn't understand how he knew it, but he knew. He knew it as his heart stopped beating, he knew it as he couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't respond. There was the sensation of being moved, dragged away from the overwhelming mist and into fresh air, and then stillness as Shalimar's face bent over him, tears streaming unchecked down her cheeks as she rocked him, chest heaving with the force of her sobs.
I'm here, Shal.
But she couldn't hear him, and he felt a surge of frustration and anger that he couldn't comfort her, couldn't lift his arms to hold her.
He hated death.
There was a shuffle, and more outraged screaming that he recognized as Shalimar's distraught voice, taking offense when someone tried to take him from her. Faces swarmed over, barely recognizable through hazy tunnel vision, voices muffled, disjointed. And then through the din, three whispered words, distinct and clear.
"I loved you."
Her head dipped low, lips grazing his just as she was forcibly yanked up and away from him. His head slammed into the ground.
"No! Let me go!" Furious, she fought back, anguished sobs ripping the air as she struggled against arms wrapped around her from behind.
"Asphyxiation." A new face bent over him. "He's not breathing."
Adam's grim voice broke clearly through for an instant, fading as wispy mists again overtook him. Not breathing. Brennan stared up at the white mist, frustrated that it cut him off from everything. Funny how death could narrow things down to such simple wants. He only wanted to see all of them, to see her just one more time. Instead, time had no value. It might have been days or it might have been minutes; he couldn't tell. Shalimar. Shalimar had been crying. He never told her. He loved her, and she didn't know. He was glad the others were at least there with her. He didn't know how they got there, but he didn't want her to be alone. Take care of her, Jess. He comforted himself with the fact that he hadn't left her alone. Misty white invaded, and he faded even more, sensations ceasing. It was all quiet and stillness for Brennan. Emma, can you feel me? Stone silence was his answer. I'm not ready to go yet, he found himself confiding to the mist. It's too soon. I didn't get to say good-bye...
"HUUUUH," With a great gasp, air slammed into Brennan, and his lungs heaved greedily. Light and sound invaded him, painful and overwhelming all at once. A hand was warm on his forehead, two fingers jabbing against his neck. What the hell? He tried to open his eyes, but couldn't.
"I've still got a pulse…checking his breathing again."
Someone leaned over him; he could sense the nervous energy rolling off the person, breath held, ear hovering above his mouth. Breathe, I need to breathe. He could practically feel their eyes boring into his chest, waiting, watching. A sharp intake of air above him, and he knew he had accomplished it.
"He's breathing! Adam, you did it!"
Jesse's exuberant voice came from somewhere behind him. Brennan's heart thumped in his chest, and dazed, he realized he was alive. He forced his eyes open, wanting to see for himself, to know that the voices he heard were real.
The first thing he saw was Adam's nose.
He reared back slightly, eyes refocusing until he realized it was Adam's hand he felt on his forehead, Adam's breath he felt puffing in relief against his face. Adam gave me rescue breathing? Before he had time to truly digest the thought, his eyes found Shalimar.
She was crying, face contorted by grief, eyes glazed with raw emptiness as she sat on the ground a few feet away; legs still twisted beneath her from where she had bonelessly sank. Alex's arms were holding her from behind, his own eyes closed as he tried to share her pain.
"Uhhh," Brennan tried to speak, but couldn't seem to get his mouth and brain to cooperate.
But it was enough.
Shalimar's head whipped around, eyes latching desperately onto his, and she began to tremble. He managed a blink, and she whimpered, staggering to her feet, collapsing immediately, crawling to him. Jesse broad grin appeared in his line of sight for a moment and Emma's relieved smile as she soothed him with a gentle hand when he struggled to move.
"Easy," She whispered, feeling him relax under her ministrations. "Let her come to you."
"Brennan," Emma's voice melted away as Shalimar breathed his name, grief twisting with hope. His eyes found hers again, and then she reached him.
"Brennan." Her mouth trembled as she bent over him, forehead pressed against his for a long moment. Salty tears dripped silently onto his face, and then she pulled back, dazzling him with her beautiful wide smile. He tried to smile back, mouth ending with a grimace, and she chuckled softly, a hysterical half-sob as she held his eyes. Her fingers traced his brows, running gently across his eyelids and around his mouth, reassuring herself that he was truly safe, truly alive. He stayed still, knowing her need to explore, to understand. Her fingers moved down to his chest, skimming along the edge of his collarbone, pressed against his chest, feeling his heart beat. He exhaled, and his chest rose beneath her hands. He saw the realization click in her eyes, and he nodded slightly in affirmation.
"You're ok?" Her mouth trembled tumultuously when she broke the silence.
Brennan's mouth opened and closed for a moment, finally managing to wheeze in reply.
"Adam?" Shalimar's eyes whipped back to the older man as he bent over Brennan again.
"He'll be fine," Adam reassured after a moment, "He just needs to rest."
"Whaa—" Brennan ignored the stern glance Adam shot him, words squashed as he struggled to speak. "Aaapp?"
"He wants to know what happened," Emma translated, hand falling on his shoulder when his eyes rolled towards her in gratitude.
"The mists," Shalimar whispered when she realized everyone was looking at her for an explanation.
"Mists?" Jesse's repeated in confusion.
"It…attacked us," Shalimar shook her head, unsure. "Brennan threw me out of the way, and then collapsed. I pulled him out of the fog, but he had already stopped breathing." She groaned, leaning over so her face filled his line of vision again. "I'm so sorry, Brennan." Her voice broke, "I couldn't save you." Unbidden, tears dripped from her eyes, and she wiped them away impatiently.
Brennan wobbled his head back and forth, frustrated he didn't have the strength to lift his hands. His body felt heavy, his brain tired. His own eyes watered as he stared up into her grief.
"But you did," Adam interjected as Alex knelt behind Shalimar, resting his hands on her shoulders. "If you hadn't gotten him into fresh air as quickly as you did, he would have suffocated. It was very close as it was."
"Come on, Shal." Alex's soft voice spoke into her ear. "You're exhausted and hurt, you need to rest, and so does Brennan."
"I agree," Adam placed his hand on top of her bent head for a moment before walking a few feet way, brows furrowed as he looked thoughtfully around the cave, mumbling to himself. "Mists."
"Adam?" Jesse and Emma followed him, voices trailing away. "What is it?"
Alex watched them, turning his eyes back down to Shalimar as she shrugged his hands away. "Shal," He tried again. "Come lay down."
"No," She couldn't seem to stop herself from crying and that angered her for some reason. It made her feel weak. "I'm not leaving him."
Brennan's eyes had closed, but opened again at her words, distraught when he saw her crying. He made a small noise in the back of his throat as Alex took Shalimar into his arms, burying her face into his shoulder. Alex's eyes met his over her head, and his arms tightened around her.
Let me take her. Agitated, Brennan's eyes screamed back at him, face grimacing as he shakily lifted a hand toward her.
The muscle in Alex's jaw flexed. "Shal, come on." He turned her, pulling her around. "You're exhausted, and Brennan needs to rest more than anything else right now, you can be with him later."
Shalimar's cheek was pressed into Alex's chest as his hand held her close and firm. He took a step, and she stumbled, tensing when she heard a moan. Was that Brennan? The vibrations of Alex's voice as he whispered soothingly came through the soft cotton of his shirt, and she felt him walk her away from everyone. She went numbly, unable to think, to understand. They walked to the back of the cave. Cold came off the ground, and she shivered. A more violent shudder passed through her, but Alex held her still as she shook, then gently eased her down, where they sat side by side in the dark.
Brennan watched helplessly as they disappeared from his line of vision, the sight of Shalimar crying in another man's arms burning into his eyelids even as he slipped back into darkness.
He awoke with a start, shivering from cold and pain. It felt like hours had passed, but he had no real concept of time, everything blurred. But he could breathe. He took a moment to absorb that thought, turning his head when he realized he was alone. Bitter disappointment shot through him when he realized Shalimar wasn't with him. He remembered her with Alex, and jealousy reared up within. He was a fool; envisioning she would have been beside him the whole time. He placed his hands on either side of him, giving a determined shove.
"Adam." A feminine voice he recognized as Emma brought attention to him, and he fought the swirling nausea, gritting his teeth until he was sitting upright.
"Whoa, careful." Jesse reached him first, catching him as he slumped to the side.
"How are you feeling?" Adam knelt in front of him, ignoring Brennan as he tried ineffectively to swat his hand away, firmly planting a hand against his forehead, feeling for fever.
Brennan shook his head, throat burning, relieved when Emma handed him a canteen. His hand shook as he lifted the water to his mouth, instantly choking when he tried to swallow, humiliated when water bubbled back out of his mouth and ran down his chin.
"Easy," Adam admonished, pulling the canteen away. "Small sips only."
He nodded, turning his head away from them.
"Can you talk?" Adam pressed him despite his mood.
"Yeah," Brennan finally rasped, voice harsh and low, wincing slightly when Emma reached up and wiped his chin for him. His eyes darted up to hers and then back down again.
"Good," Adam looked pleased, and despite himself, Brennan was curious. He lifted his eyes, and Adam intuitively read his questioning gaze. "Nitrogen. You were very lucky."
Brennan brows shot up, jealousy momentarily forgotten.
Adam gestured with one hand. "One of the damaging environmental effects in this area is nitrogen pollutants, carried through the mountain by wind. When it hits the glaciers within these mountains, the gaseous nitrogen is chilled and condensed into liquid nitrogen."
"I don't get it," Jesse shrugged, not following. "Liquid nitrogen is non-toxic."
Adam smiled at his impatience. "Well, I believe the fog could be some sort of crystallized liquid nitrogen."
Tiredly, Brennan shook his head. "So the mists—"
"In a small, confined space like this, liquid nitrogen can inadvertently condense oxygen and vaporize, making it very deadly. You were nearly asphyxiated."
Brennan nodded. Something didn't seem to quite add up, the eerie way the fog had moved hovered in his memory, but he was too exhausted to sort it all out. He groaned, holding his head. Whatever the hell had happened, they had saved him, and he was pouting like a spoiled child, jealousy twisting his stomach. He sighed, feeling the others watching him. "Thanks, Adam." He finally murmured as the silence stretched on.
The older man nodded back.
"I'm just glad we got here in time," Jesse stood to his feet, clasping Brennan on the shoulder. "That was too close, bro."
Brennan looked up, another thought suddenly hitting him. "How—" He broke off suddenly as a choking cough cut the air from his throat, wheezing painfully. "How'd you get here?"
"Emma found you," Jesse smiled proudly at the redhead as she smiled and shook her head. Brennan couldn't help but notice they edged closer to each other, fingers brushing unobtrusively. He looked away at the bitter reminder of what he didn't have. But what if it's more? Had he only dreamed she said those words to him?
"I didn't do anything," Emma countered, "It was Jesse."
Brennan rolled his eyes as they again exchanged secret smiles.
Adam cleared his throat at their antics. "It took us a while to realize the geological mutant wasn't with the others. By the time we discovered it, we heard the cave-in. Emma sensed you were alive, but it took us a while to find you. Fortunately, the actual cave-in was confined to a relatively small section of the hallway. Jesse was able to phase us through the collapsed rock and into the office."
"We almost lost hope when we saw the huge chunks of ceiling and wall that had fallen, it was total destruction." Jesse's face turned serious. "I don't know how you guys survived it."
"It must have been horrible," Emma whispered softly.
Brennan dropped his head, remembering. I want more too. Horrible and wonderful all at the same time. He glanced back up as Adam stood to his feet, groaning as his knees cracked in protest. He smiled slightly at the pained expression on the older man's face. They had all been through a lot. He raised the canteen to his dry lips, taking another swallow.
"It's late, I think we better stay here, rest and regroup." Adam's face grew distant for a moment as he looked around the large cave. "We need to keep looking for that research, but I'd also like to explore this tunnel a bit, I have a feeling it may hold some surprises for us as well."
Emma sighed heavily. "I think I preferred the tents, at least then I could see the stars." She tipped her head up toward Jesse as he took a step closer to her. "But at least we should be safe. I doubt even that mutant could get through all this rock."
Jesse gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze. "I think I'll go take a look around, see what I can find."
She smiled up at him, calling after him as he walked away. "Just stay away from the river, I promised Shal I'd keep you guys away for a little while."
Jesse waved his hand in understanding, disappearing down a tunnel that veered away from the water.
Adam nodded as well. "I'll go see what we have for food." He pointed a finger at Brennan. "And you, take it easy. I need you strong tomorrow."
Brennan reached up, clasping his hand. "Thanks, Adam." He turned his head, pressing his mouth against his shoulder to suppress a cough, shivering.
Emma stayed with Brennan, watching Adam walk away. The air was cold, and she sank down on the rock, wrapping her arms around her drawn-up knees. Her ribs still hurt, and she exhaled slowly, laying her head on her arms.
Brennan ignored her, thoughts growing morose as he sipped mindlessly from the canteen. It was painfully obvious that Shalimar didn't care that he was awake. She had been glad to see him alive, but apparently that was good enough for her. She was nowhere in sight. And neither was Alex. He hissed in a breath, teeth clenched as he remembered the taste of her kiss, now bitter in his mouth. He took another drink.
Emma sensed his frustration, confused by his dark emotions. "What's wrong, Brennan?"
His eyes held hers. "Where is she, Emma?"
She studied him, and he almost resented her for a moment, immediately feeling guilty for thinking such a thing. She smiled slightly. "It's ok, Brennan."
He looked back up at her.
"She was here, you know, the whole time you slept."
"But—"
"I had a hard time convincing her to leave, even for a moment. She needed a break, Brennan. I sent her down to the river to wash up."
He took a moment to absorb that. "And Alex?"
"Is sleeping. He's been watching guard for hours."
He was a fool. Brennan ducked his head, embarrassed his jealousy was so obvious. Emma chuckled slightly, making him blush. They sat in silence for long moments, Brennan squirming uncomfortably as a more pressing need slowly became apparent. He had been so dehydrated earlier, but now… He winced, shifting uneasily. "Uh, Em—"
She smiled in understanding, pointing to a third tunnel branching off. "We designated that area over there; it seemed to be the furthest away…" She shrugged, grimacing.
"Yeah." Brennan shook his head, eyeing the distance from his current position to the tunnel. It couldn't be more than twenty feet, but it might as well be twenty miles. He rubbed his eyes, groaning under his breath.
Emma watched him for a moment. "You know, I could always get Jesse to help you."
"Uh, no, that's ok." Brennan sucked in breath, hastily shoving himself to his feet, causing Emma to chuckle. He shot her a mock glare, hand pressed to his side as he hobbled stubbornly away. It took him a while to get there, but he felt much better as he slowly made his way back down the dark tunnel. After being either flat on his back or carried for so long, it felt good to be standing on his own two feet, er kind of standing, he chuckled wryly to himself as he paused to lean heavily against the cold roughly-hewn rock wall. His bruised left side pulled painfully as he eventually straightened, but the sharpness wasn't as bad as before, and he was grateful he had always been a fast healer. Dripping water from somewhere in the dark reminded him of Shalimar, and he changed directions, making his way toward the little river. She was still there, kneeling down by its edge, slowly and carefully buttoning her blouse. Damp curls ran down her back, and he couldn't help but smile, quickening his step. He froze a few steps later when he saw a few tendrils of fog playing around her feet.
"Shal!"
His terror startled her, and she whipped around just as he slammed into her, rolling them over and over. She landed on top, blinking in surprise. "Brennan?" Her words were breathy, wind knocked out of her, eyes wide with fearful dread. "What is it?"
"Mists," He panted, muscles screaming at him in fresh pain, rock bits digging into his bruised back.
"Oh." She slumped in relief, even as he hastily pulled her off him, eyes searching. "Brennan." She reached up, cupping his cheek, bringing his face back down to hers. "It's ok."
"But—"
"It's just a few stray wisps that have been lingering over the water," She reassured, "Adam said it's not enough to be harmful anymore."
"Ohhhh," He groaned, a mixture of relief and disbelief, burying his face in her shoulder. "That hurt."
She chuckled, arms circling around his neck.
She smelled fresh and clean, and he dug his nose into her damp hair, breathing deeply. The urge to cough tickled his parched throat, but he suppressed it, eyes falling shut in the prevailing quiet.
"You're awake." She finally broke the silence between them, turning her head and pressing a kiss into his hair.
Concern and love was evident in her tone, and he winced as he remembered his earlier thoughts. "I'm sorry, Shal."
"For what?" She pulled back, brows wrinkled in confusion.
Looking into her trusting eyes, he found himself unable to explain. He shook his head, at a loss for words.
"Brennan?"
His eyes crinkled, voice husky. "Let's go back, huh?"
"Yeah." She smiled, laughing outright as they shuffled awkwardly to their feet, hanging onto each other as they tottered down the tunnel like an aged couple. "You know," Shalimar studied the way he was waddling, tipping a teasing smile up to him. "That's a very sexy look."
"Oh shut up."
Emma looked up, smiling as Brennan and Shalimar hobbled toward her, holding each other and laughing softly. "Jesse," She nudged the dozing Molecular next to her. "Look."
A grin broke out over Jesse's sleepy face as he watched them near. He opened his mouth.
"Don't tease," Emma softly chided, "Let them be."
His mouth snapped shut. "Sometimes you know too much for your own good, you know that?"
Her eyes twinkled up at him as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer in the darkness. "Uh-huh, it doesn't take a psionic to know what you're thinking right now," She teased him.
He waggled his eyebrows at her, eyes watching as Brennan and Shalimar shuffled by. "Good night, guys." He waited until they passed before promptly silencing Emma's giggles with a kiss.
If only Adam knew, Shalimar snorted to herself as she heard them kiss, even as she settled next to Brennan, grateful for the cloak of darkness.
"What are you smiling about?" Brennan whispered as he rested his head on his bent elbow. His free hand reached out, pulling her close. She didn't answer, nestling a leg between his bent knees, shivering as his fingers teased the edge of her blouse, caressing the skin beneath. Her eyes closed, breath shallow as they lay in silence for a few minutes, adjusting to the newness of being so close.
"Hey," He finally whispered when she reopened her eyes.
"Hey," She shyly returned, fingers reaching up to find his face.
"How're your hands?" He tilted his head, pressing a kiss against her knuckles.
"Sore," She admitted softly, smiling as he kissed them again. "But getting better all the time."
Brennan opened his mouth to respond, tensing as a coughing spell hit him instead. He pulled away, groaning as the painful spasms ripped through his chest. Shalimar's hands landed on his heaving back, soothing him.
"Should I get Adam?"
"No," He gasped between coughs, "I'm fine." After a few more tense minutes, the spell was over. He panted, rolling over onto his back, spent.
A figure approached them in the dark, and he narrowed his eyes as he recognized the broad frame. Alex. Shalimar had risen to her feet, talking to him softly. He couldn't hear what they were saying.
After a few minutes, and a sharp glance at Brennan, Alex nodded, pulling her into a quick hug. "Love you."
"Right back at you."
The man pressed a quick kiss into her hair before releasing her.
That he heard. Tensing, Brennan growled under his breath, bristling in challenge.
Alex paused to kneel in front of him, eyes wry with concern and acute awareness. "How are you feeling?"
"Fine," Brennan grunted, jaw clenched. It annoyed him even more that the man seemed to read him so easily. He glared at his back as he stood back up. Unbidden, flashes of her touching him, of him holding her in his arms, swept through Brennan, and jealousy returned full force.
Shalimar was smiling as she lay back down beside him, nestling up against him as he remained on his back. "Where were we?" She whispered with a grin, smile faltering when he failed to respond. "Brennan? What's wrong?"
"Alex," Brennan pulled back, voice distant. "You said you loved him."
"I do," Shalimar reached for Brennan, frowning when his head turned away from her kiss. "Like a brother, like Jesse."
"But he's not your brother, not really."
"So?" She shrugged, not understanding. "Neither is Jesse."
"So does he know that?" Brennan prompted.
Her mouth twitched. He was cute when he was jealous. She nodded, voice taking on a teasing tone. "I think so." Her grin widened, trying to kiss him again, sighing petulantly when he turned his head again. "What?"
"How can he ever think of you in just a brotherly way, after you were lovers?"
"Who said we were lovers?"
His face turned sharply back to hers when she laughed at the suggestion. "He said he knew you for three years—"
"Brennan," She lifted a hand, carefully resting a palm against his cheek. "I was only fifteen when Adam found me, and that was after Alex disappeared. I thought you knew that."
"Oh." Brennan had the grace to look slightly embarrassed. "I guess I never thought about it that far." He frowned, chewing his lip. "Then why does he look at you that way?"
She sighed, dropping her hand in annoyance. "What way?"
"You know," His jaw flexed, "Possessive, like you belong to him."
"In some ways, I do." She shook her head. "Do we have to do this now?" She pressed a kiss against his shoulder, but he didn't respond. "I guess we do." She sighed, letting him go. "Look, Brennan. I love Alex, and he and I share something very special. I escaped a—a terrible place when I was only twelve years old. I was lost. He was there for me during long, hard years when no one else was." She paused, searching, eyes painful. "Don't ask me to explain it more than that, I can't."
He glanced at her, conflicted. "I don't know how I'm supposed to take that."
"I thought you finally understood."
"Apparently, I don't!"
"Leave it alone Brennan, he's not you, ok?" She rolled away. "You're supposed to trust me."
"Because he's not me?" Brennan hissed, brows rising as he struggled to sit up. "I didn't understand it the first time Shal, and I don't now."
She turned a sad face towards him. "Then what are doing here, Brennan?"
His mouth gaped in frustration, and he shook his head, not following.
She turned back away, exhausted, suddenly too tired to deal with anymore. "I can't do this right now."
He stared at her, waiting, plopping back down in frustration when she didn't move. "Fine." He rolled to his right side, so his back was to hers, glaring when he came face to face with a cuddling Jesse and Emma only a few feet away. They were asleep, wrapped contentedly in each other's arms. He groaned, slamming his eyes shut, seriously nauseated. Maybe Adam had the right idea after all. Romance seemed to get in the way of everything, messing up the team dynamic.
His left side throbbed lonely in return.
Sleep wouldn't come as the night wore on, and finally, exhausted, he groaned, pushing himself into a sitting position, leaning forward into his elbows, the boniness of them piercing his knees.
It was his own fault, irrational jealousy clouding his judgment. He couldn't seem to see anything past Alex, and it was destroying something that had just barely begun. When would he learn? His eyes stung, and his head bowed. "I'm sorry, Shal."
She laid alone, eyes burning, when his whisper came out of the darkness. She sucked in a breath, suddenly understanding the meaning of those same words whispered earlier. She sighed, turning, but seeing his stricken face, reached for him. He tried to smile, but failed, drawing her to him in a gulp of a choked-back cry and buried her head into his shoulder. She pushed her nose into the warm curve, frustration forgotten, reliving the painful horror of seeing him die in her place.
His heart constricted as he felt her arms tighten, her fists grab his shirt. He remembered earlier that day, when she had cried from sheer exhaustion. He set his chin over her head, and stared out into the darkness. She had been in Alex's arms then. But now she was in his arms, and she didn't cry.
