Lchan: Thanks, reviewers-for-the-first-chapter! Here's a new one for ya! Although it might suck, please don't flame. Is it too long? Just tell me, and your notes are always welcome! Yes, even the monosyllabic ones! Well, to get to that, I would ask you to go on ahead and read so you can review and I can read your reviews and maybe finish the third chapter so I can read more! ^^ Thanks! Keep me healthy, okay?
Counter Strike
-Kaoru's Confession
"Kaoru-dono, is there something you want to tell me?" Kenshin asked, quietly, after long minutes of watching and sitting and blushing and thinking. He had a feeling for some time now that she was fighting back emotions, and he didn't like her doing that.
Kaoru's head jerked up from her nonexistent plate (Sano and Yahiko snatched it away to devour the food—Megumi: "That is so barbaric!") to let her blue eyes stray to meet his soft violet ones. A barrage of emotions flitted across her face and made him confirm his suspicions.
She WAS holding something back.
"You can tell me anything, that you can," he said.
She considered his words very carefully before responding. "Arigato, Kenshin," she replied, not without a smile, before spacing out again.
Megumi, irritated that the "raccoon-girl" was getting more attention than her, wrapped her arms around Kenshin's and leaned her head on his shoulder. "Aw, Ken-san, didn't I tell you already? The raccoon-girl just wants your attention, and from the way it looks, she's succeeding."
Kenshin angled his head to look at the lady doctor, looking quite confused. Megumi's hair was caressing his cheek and tickling the long, X-scar that was displayed on it, but being a boy and boys being boys, Kenshin never noticed.
Kaoru flicked her ocean-blue eyes around the table and caught sight of flirty little Megumi playing up to HER Kenshin, and inwardly flared.
She glared at the dense swordsman's general direction, and when he glanced up after eliciting a puzzled "oro?" at his lack of skill in understanding Megumi's complicated and foreign ideas, his eyes read her smoldering message and only then did he start to flush.
Kaoru noted the change in Kenshin (he became a little fidgety) after reading her glare, and relaxed a little when he succeeded in resisting the doctor's charms without making her jerk away like a terrified squirrel.
"Oh, Ken-san, I'm sorry, was I too heavy?" Megumi crooned.
"Iie (No). Daijobu de gozaru yo (don't worry), Megumi-dono," Kenshin replied, a slight nervous edge to his voice.
"Ah, but of course, Ken-san. You ARE the strong one, aren't you?" Then she shot Sano a glare. "Unlike some stupid rooster-head I know."
"What was that!? Oi, Kenshin," Sano paused his grand finale with the last rice ball, to retaliate. "Ya better be careful. Old fox lady's got rabies."
Kenshin merely smiled, not knowing how else to react.
And for the second time that evening, a Megumi vs. Sano catfight occurred.
—Kaoru's—POV—
Once again, I am staring at him.
When I had merely been glancing earlier, now I am really STARING at him and his impossibly exotic features. I can't help it. That's what happens when you're over the moon for a swordsman.
He looks so sweet, so endearing... If anybody else sees him as anything otherwise, consider yourself demented.
Oh wait. A picture of Saito thinking of Kenshin in that manner pops into my head. Then one of Shishio's. Then another of Aoshi's.
//Battousai looks sweet, doesn't he, Saito?//
//Yes. Very endearing. For once you're right, Shishio//
//Himura has a very exotic look about him. Maybe it's that detail that makes him look sweet//
//No, Aoshi. I think those two are separate attributes, but I totally agree//
//Yes. I think you're right, Shishio. Battousai is an exceptionally endearing swordsman//
Yuck!!! I take that back!! I'll repair that to 'if any other GIRL sees him as anything other than sweet, she is mental'.
That's better...
...
Blimey, I'm hopeless!!!
When will I have the courage to tell him? I think I'm actually strong enough to hear him out if he does have complaints, the idiot. I mean...I'd be happy to hear any decision he might have regarding my emotions.
No. Not happy.
What if he says 'no'? Or worse, 'yuck'? I'd definitely NOT be happy.
What if he'll interpret my confession as a ploy to invade Tomoe-san's territory? Is he capable of thinking such things? Yes, he is, because he is not stupid, and neither is he inexperienced in this department. Dense, yes, but he HAS encountered marriage already once before.
I can see him gazing at me with his horribly engaging soft purple eyes and saying "gomennasai, Kaoru-dono..." with that voice ringing with pity and guilt before hiding those amazing windows to his soul beneath his adorably messy bangs. "I vowed never to love in that way again after Tomoe. I can't..."
And he would avoid my eyes as I would avoid his, and then—BOOM—the next thing I know, he'll be out in the streets wandering again, guilt-ridden of hurting my feelings and void of emotions.
Sigh. I can't let that happen.
I'm sorry. My thoughts are just turning around and around in circles. The last time I checked, I was thinking the exact same things I'm thinking about now. Forgive me, brain-peepers, but this is just something I can't help. This has become been my longtime dilemma now…
But…honestly? I don't think he'd have the heart to turn me down. Maybe it's just me or doesn't he show hints of affection for me as well? Maybe I just interpret too much, but when he took my place as Shuura's captive...didn't he yell something back then? Ah, yes...he told Sano and Yahiko to take care of me.
I heard my name being shouted twice, but I didn't catch the last phrase. "Sano, Yahiko! Take care of Kaoru-dono! Kaoru-dono...!" And the rest blurred in with the pounding of my heart.
Oh yeah, and I was stupid enough to scream only his NAME!!! I could've said something better than that...honestly.
And then there's Battousai.
Well, Battousai...Battousai doesn't seem to hate me either, although I can't say that he LIKES me or that I am safe from him. But I know that Himura Kenshin does. And that's what matters.
KENSHIN'S the one I love anyway. Screw Battousai.
No, wait. I love anything that's about Kenshin. So maybe I have a soft spot for Battousai too. Yeah, okay, I do. I'll admit it. Kenshin wouldn't be Kenshin without him. And I can't say that Battousai didn't help me fall for Kenshin, either, 'coz one of the things that endeared me to go gaga over him is his skill with the word, brought to us by the hitokiri, and that curiosity-rousing mysterious touch to his being.
Sigh, sigh, sigh, sigh, sigh…
Oh, Kenshin…
Why do YOU have to be so sweet? Why, of all people, do YOU have those surreal sword skills? Why can't it have been Sano who had adorably innocent violet eyes? How come YOU'RE the only person I know with charmingly chaotic red locks? Why did YOU have to be the one with the most perfect dosage of mysteriousness (read: most AND perfect)?
Why did you have to come and how the heck did I fall for YOU!? Why am I suffering through this alone? How come it's ME who has to take pains to know if this feeling is mutual?
Why, why, why!?
I bet you people who are peeking into my thoughts right now already know I've fallen hook, line and sinker for Himura Kenshin and that I'm DYING to know if he feels the same for me…I'm winning the bet. I know.
Okay, well…enough about that. I have to go do something.
Since now I'm absolutely sure he somehow in some way cares for a girl like me...I guess it's worth a shot.
Right. Well...here goes nothing...
"Kenshin...?"
--Normal--POV--
All eyes turned towards Kaoru.
Kenshin was beginning to feel this was one of the longest dinners they've ever had. He could feel her nervousness and reluctance, but he had no plans whatsoever to postpone this, so he grabbed the slimmest chance and flashed Kaoru a soft smile to urge her on.
"Hai, Kaoru-dono?" he heard his voice say.
"Kenshin, I…I want…to tell you something…" she said, very quietly.
"Oro? What was that, Kaoru-dono?"
"I…I want to tell you something," Kaoru repeated, louder this time.
Kenshin blinked his wide, rather confused violet eyes twice before relaxing into another smile. "What is it, then? I'm ready to listen, that I certainly am." Weird. His voice sounded softer than he'd planned it to be. Oh well. Never mind that.
"I…I'm sorry…I don't know how else to…to phrase this…" Kaoru gulped a little, suddenly feeling nauseous.
Kenshin braced himself. Megumi's eyes narrowed into suspicious slits. Sano gaped at her, his arm halfway raised to throw off Yahiko, who had stopped midway through his gnawing.
"What is it?" Megumi demanded.
But Kaoru didn't hear her—couldn't hear her. Her whole self was focused on confused, concerned, tense Himura Kenshin, who sat across her in the most gentlemanly legs-tucked-in pose she had ever seen in any man, reverse-edged blade lying beside him on the floor.
She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. With a soft snap, she closed it, and a flash of fear streaked through her eyes in a split second before she plunged ahead, strangling her voice out from wherever it had gone.
"Kenshin, I…I…I CAN tell you anything…right?" She found herself stalling, her mind a whirl of a million confusing thoughts.
Kenshin nodded, silently. "Yes, that you can," he said, not knowing how much she regretted even asking him anything, because it gave him a chance to talk to her with words. Come confessions, hearing the voice of your beloved is a definite no-no if you don't want your heart going 90 beats per minute.
"Then…then you wouldn't mind if I told you that…"
"That what?"
"That I…that I…thIavfeengsforu?"
Kenshin blinked again, his face a mixture of bafflement, surprise and tension. "Oro (huh)? Gomen, demo…(I'm sorry, but…)"
"We didn't catch that, Jou-chan," Sano cut in, just as puzzled as anybody else, but his voice was neither pleasant nor polite. He just sounded gruff and impatient.
Kaoru's eyes blazed. Don't they know that she put a lot of effort into that phrase!?!? But then one look at clueless Kenshin and her heart skipped a beat then started banging against her ribs at 2 beats per second again. It was exhilarating and at the same time excruciating!!
She absolutely hated it! She HAD to get this done and ASAP!
"Kaoru-dono…" came Kenshin's voice again, lilting with that slight femininity but still with that masculine edge.
She steeled her nerves and grabbed his collar, holding him in a grip short of a choke. "Do not be mad at me for this because I am already mad at myself for the reason that I have no control whatsoever and I can't to hide this from you any longer!" Kenshin stared at her.
A split second passed before she plunged on: "I don't know just HOW this happened but somehow in some way it did and now I can't break free from it unless I tell you and now I can't take it anymore so I am!!!" She let go of him and collapsed onto the floor with a sigh, looking quite deflated.
"It's revolting how hard I've fallen for you, Kenshin…" she said, softly, her endless azure eyes dropping to avoid his bewildered gaze.
—Kenshin's—POV—
Kaoru-dono looked so panicked. She seemed so jumpy and even scared so that her words tumbled all over each other I could hardly catch them. Her sweet voice speaking the syllables so rapidly and her hold on my kimono so tight that I can barely breathe. And for a second, in that moment when she shook me, her hands touched my chest…I felt them to be as cold as the coldest ice.
I wanted to interrupt and tell her to please calm down and tell me what was wrong as calmly as she could so I can…so I can…but then…but then I…I…I managed to catch her words, and…
It took me a while before what she said registered to me. All I knew when I heard those words was that they held a shocking definition, but I actually had no idea WHAT that definition was. And the next thing I knew my eyes were wide open and I was gaping at her. The rest of my body felt numb and I couldn't find my voice no matter where I looked.
It was then that my stupid self finally realized the full blow of what she told me.
…It's revolting how hard I've fallen for you, Kenshin…
And the shock was almost surreal. I never dreamed that a mirthful angel like her, born and bred with a delectably innocent mind, could learn to love an unworthy former assassin like me, undeserving of anybody's affection and most especially a love like hers.
And Miss Kaoru just sat there, in front of me, her cheeks colored with the deepest hue of pink that I've finally found the reason for, those innocent blue eyes unused to bloodshed lowered to stare at the floor, and with her hands and soul unspoiled by neither guilt nor the burden of knowing you killed.
And she was waiting—ever waiting—for my reply, braving to raise her eyes to meet mine just to hear it. And I can't even give it to her.
I open my mouth, and it took an eternity for me to realize my voice hasn't been found yet. But when I felt a tug at my throat that offered to voice a few syllables for me, I grabbed the chance to say in a tone I found rather void of emotion…
"Oro?"
…
…
…
Dame(no)!!! Sumanai yo (I'm sorry), Kaoru-dono! That wasn't what I—
It took a while for me to comprehend that what I just spoke with that merciful, miniscule remnant of my suddenly lost voice box was…crap! I didn't realize that I hadn't yet composed my lines before I spoke aloud and I found myself telling her the first pathetic syllables my brain tactlessly spawned.
And I couldn't do anything about it. My voice was nowhere to be found.
Kaoru-dono…Kaoru-dono…don't listen to me…
Please…tell me you weren't listening…
Please…
I saw her eyes widen in shock, jolts of disappointment, sadness, even fear, but most of all, pain ran through them…and they welled up with tears…all because of me…me and my tactless brain…
Kaoru-dono…
Sumanai…
* * *
tbc
Lchan: Okay, was that good? I'm sorry. I didn't feel like squeezing in the kicking out. I already have the kicking out part done, but it was too long to add, so you can get to read it in the next chap. Please don't hate me!!! And please read and review this chapter anyway, even if you think it totally sucked…but even if you do…don't flame me. I hate flames (not that I've ever received one yet, thank goodness).
Constructive criticism, comments and compliments welcome. Thanks to all who reviewed the first chapter!!
I love you, folks, and Happy New Year!!!
