Summary: Its the Bakura version of "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie."

Genre: Humor/Parody

Rating: K+

Disclamer: I don't own If you Give a Mouse a Cookie, or YuGiOh, but Ryou owns Bakura... or was that the other way around?

If You Give The TombRobber A Knife

He's going to want a victim!

So, you go out and find him an innocent passerby to kill.

Once he's done tearing up the poor guy, he'll want a napkin to wipe the blood of his knife, so you go get him one. Cleaning the knife will remind him of something else that needs cleaning...

HIS HAIR! It hasn't been washed since this morning! However, you're fresh out of shampoo at the moment.

So you will have to go out and buy some. Bakura will insist on coming with you. On the way to the store, you notice you are low on gas, so you have to stop at a gas station. Bakura will plead and beg for you to buy him Doritos, Butterfingers, Gum, and lots of other junk food. After you have burnt up all your cash on useless things, you still haven't bought him that shampoo, so you'll have to go to the bank to take out some cash.

This. Means. Trouble.

While at the counter (this bank doesn't have a drive-up thingy), Bakura might notice that the guy at the counter looks exceptionally helpless today, so he'll want to rob the bank. You'll have to rush back to the car and pull all his dangerous weapons out of the trunk. Once Bakura has succesfully (is that word even necessary?) robbed the bank, you'll have plenty of cash, so get going to the supermarket!

Once you're there, Bakura will go crazy about the surveilance camera and blow it up. The manager will get very mad. You'll have to clean up his mess, of course.

Of course, Bakura won't settle for shampoo alone. The rest of your cash needs to be spent, so you'll have to buy him conditioner, detangler, hair gel, black hair dye along with 40 other colors, brushes, combs, srunchies, bands, clips, barrettes, ribbons, pretty-smelling body spray, and cologne.

Now you go home and bakura wants to wash his hair.

You'll have to prepare a bath for him.

Then, he'll yell that it's too hot, so you rush in and add some cold water. After a few minutes he'll start complaining loudly that its not hot enough, so you turn on the hot water. Once he's done with his bath, he'll stand up dripping wet. Obviously, he'll want to dry off, so he'll need

a towel.

You bring him a bright red towel. Walking around in a red towel will surely remind him of his days as the greatest Tomb Robber in all of Egypt. He'll want to dress up in his old red robe full of jewels and diamonds.

This means you'll have to dig deep, deep, down through hundreds of smelly old chests in your dusty old attic. When you finally find it, he'll put it on and take a look in the mirror.

He'll want to take a picture of this special moment. This means he'll need

A camera.

Now, he'll want to hang his picture up on the refrigerator

with magnets. Bakura will notice how the magnet covers up part of the picture and demand that you get him some scotch tape instead.

Then, he'll stand back to check that the photograph is perfectly centered and aligned on the fridge. Looking at the fridge will remind him that

He's hungry! Starving, in fact! So you'll have to cook him up a nice juicy steak. Then he'll need something to eat it with, so he'll ask you for a fork. And chances are if he asks for a fork...

He'll want a knife to go with it.

A/N: I know the ending was a little un-creative, but the steak had to come from somewhere!