Afterword In Search of a Story
by Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.
What happen after a team-up between the Thing and Dr. Strange
Yes, Virginia, the Thing and Dr. Strange worked together at least once. In Marvel Team-up or Marvel Two-In-One, I think.
You may have read my stories in the cartoon section of Fanfiction, in "Ducktales" and "Darkwing Duck".
I was a fan of the FF's LONG before Disney "invented" Launchpad McQuack. ( I believe that fictional characters are REAL in alternate dimensions and the writers don't make up the stories, they "tune into" the stories- to various degrees of accuracy. Due to differences in Time between dimensions, they can even sometimes write a story before it happens- but said story is usually HIGHLY inaccurate. )
My big sister, Julia, used to read Fantastic Four comic books to me before I was able to read them for myself. (She's five years older than I am.) I hate to admit being old enough, but I used to watch the original FF cartoons on TV. I always wanted this to happen somehow.
Guess I have a soft spot for pilots. Especially ones with a "I'm just a stupid pilot" shtick. Come to think of it, that's how come Launchpad McQuack never fooled ME with his "I'm just a stupid pilot" shtick. It's too similar to Bashful Benji's much-older version of the same shtick. I recognized it. Both talk basically simple and earthy. Both are remarkably unpretentious and are NOT the slightest bit fancy-shmancy or La-De-Da. They are both rather old-fashioned- but in a GOOD way.
By the way, I have this theory that Bashful Benji's orange armor is just that- armor, sort of like a turtle's shell, or maybe more like an armardillo's armor.
"Thank you for your help, Thing." Dr. Strange said.
'It's OK. You're not so bad yourself" the Thing said.
"For a weirdo" the Thing thought.
"I would use my magic to reward you.' Dr. Strange said.
And Dr. Strange did some mystic gestures and said some magic words:
"In memory of Strongman, Ropeman, Tornadoman, Diaperman and Coo-coo! By Littleville, Gramps and Miss Milly! Sockamagee!" (2)
And with a puff of smoke and a flash of light, the Thing was gone and Ben Grimm stood in his place!
"What the? Strencho has been trying to change me back to normal since Day One and you did it just like that?" Ben asked.
"Alas, no. it is an illusion. A "magical hologram" of sorts. You still are the Thing, still possess his vast strength and power. You merely LOOK and FEEL normal." Dr. Strange said.
"That's perfect! I like being a hero- I just don't like being a freak! This is great!" Ben said.
'If you like, I can allow you to drop the illusion and reform it at will. Many a criminal is unnerved by your fearsome appearance as the Thing. Ben Grimm would not frighten them at all. And I know if you can frighten a foe, you have him half-defeated already. You need not fear being stuck looking like the Thing, I'm VERY good at this." Dr. Strange said.
"Do I gotta say "Shazam"? Ben asked.
"That will not be necessary. Do you wish me to do so?" Dr. Strange asked.
"Sure! If you're absolutely certain I can't get stuck, why not?" Ben said.
So Dr. Strange said and did some more razzle-dazzle:
"By the car of Courageous Cat and Minute Mouse! By the Many, Multiman! By the waters of Fluidman! By the rebound of Coilman! BOB CLAMPETT CARTOON! (3) There! All you have to do is think of looking like the Thing, and you will. Then later, you merely think of looking like Ben Grimm and you will." Dr. Strange said.
"Thanks! I owe you big time! And I mean it! You EVER need my help, don't hesitate to ask! Jeeve, what is Alicia going to say when I tell her about this?" Ben said.
The End...or should I say, rather, The Beginning?
1) The story in "Tales of Thing" # 1-- in which the Thing and Dr. Strange help Destiny get back her Magic Harmonica ( I did NOT write THAT story) would do quite nicely.
(2) If these ain't Magic Words, I don't know what are. Lord, am I dating myself. Do me a favor and don't depress me by asking who or what I'm talking about.
(3) See above footnote.
Fantastic Four Potty Problems
I was re-reading an old copy of FF, looking at the "floor plans" of Four Freedoms Plaza and noticed something interesting was missing. No bathrooms. Honest, there's not a john in the place. I took out an older copy of FF with the "floor plans" of the Baxter Building- no bathrooms there, either. Now, either the FF has some other super power we don't know about or they've been using the gas station.
What's that you say? You don't get a no-prize unless you can "explain away" the seeming discrepancy? I can. There are bathrooms, obliviously, but their location is top secret because that's where the air shafts are. Inside the walls of the bathrooms. (Well, that's where they are in MY apartment!) If some fiendish villain found out where the bathrooms (and thus, the air shafts) are, he could use poison gas or nano-bots (itsy-bitsy robots) against our Fearless Foursome. So the bathrooms are deleted from the floor plans.
What do you say? Do I deserve a no-prize?
By the way, exactly WHEN did Susan Richards go from being the Florence Henderson of the Superhero set to being a hot number? That's just sick and wrong.
I didn't used to like Susan very much. Her "Oh, Reed, darling s" used to make me want to puke.
I still don't think much of her taste in MEN. Reed Richards? Ick. SPARE me from intellectuals. How do I define an intellectual? I go by the classic definition. It's somebody who can listen to the William Tell Overchoir without thinking of the Lone Ranger.
It wasn't till Susan became pregnant (with Franklin, not Valerie) and had to take a leave of absence did I realize what her real role in the FF was. Without Susan, the FF just wasn't the FF. They became four strangers who just happened to work together. And yet, each member of the FF has taken a leave of absence at one time or the other. (The others because they temporary lost their powers) And the FF was still the FF when any OTHER member was missing.
It was then I realized that Susan is what makes the FF not just a team, but a FAMILY. She is Reed's wife, she is Johnny's sister, and she is Ben's friend. Susan is the linchpin that links them together. Susan keeps Reed and Ben from killing each other; she keeps Ben and Johnny from killing each other.
Susan is the referee, the peace keeper, the "Mommy" of the FF. It is an honorable role and somebody has to do it.
The MYLON age of Comics
Does it seem to anybody ELSE that comic books are being written just to be collected? Not read?
That the idea is to buy them and put them in a mylon bag for 50 years? If they don't COME in a mylon bag? That the company doesn't think it MATTERS if the story is good or the art is good?
Who's going to read it? Who's going to look at the art, except the cover? That we fans are supposed to just put it a mylon bag for 50 years, so why bother giving us quality?
THIS STINKS.
