Note: Rantik is a SpecOps grunt. That should explain his upcoming kickassedness.
Chapter three
THE GRUNT ARBITER
Rantik quickly went over to where the elites had gathered. They were standing around a holopanel, staring at it.
"Check it out!" said one of the elites. "It's all glowy and stuff."
Rantik sighed and pushed a few buttons on the panel. The nearby door slid open, and the squad piled inside.
"Engage Active Camouflage." Whispered an elite. Rantik sighed again as every single elite turned on their flashlight,
"No, camo, CAMO. Next to the flashlight button. The black one. No, that's hot pink. There you go."
The squad became invisible and entered the door. Inside was a single elite and some sleeping grunts. Rantik snuck up and unhooked the elite's breather. It fell to the ground, writhing. One of the elites in his squad looked at the sleeping grunts and giggled stupidly.
"Who brought the shaving cream?" he ran over and began making funny faces at the slumbering grunts. Suddenly the enemies snapped awake and began firing at Rantik's squad. Rantik fired away with his pistol, and heard a sudden yell. He turned around and saw one of his elite squad mates choking on his own rifle. Rantik yanked it out of his mouth, then handed it back. "Goes in your hand, not in your mouth."
"Raru 'Entaree said that metal tasted nice." The elite glared at his ally, who was sucking contentedly on a grenade. Rantik turned his attention back to the fight, and saw one of the grunts speaking into a communicator.
"Five monkeys in a car, repeat, FIVE MONKEYS IN A CAR!" Elite warriors ran to join the battle from all directions.
Rantik sprung into action. He ran at the enemies, taking cover as plasma and needles flew past his hiding spot. He ran out and dived at the grunts firing at him. He tore a breather out of a grunt's mouth, fired his plasma pistol into the face of another, and kicked the last one in the shin, hard.
"OW!" the heretic yelled. "Frickin idiot!" Rantik smashed his weapon over its head, and hid as an elite ran around the corner. One of Rantik's allies ran over and filled the heretic with needles. Rantik signaled a thanks, and peered out from his cover. The heretics, now a smaller group, stood together and looked around cautiously. Then the drop ship that rantik had flown in on crashed through the ceiling, landing on all of the heretics.
"Oops!" yelled the pilot. "Forgot the altitude!" and the ship lifted off, crashing through the ceiling again on its way out. Rantik and his team fought through the rest of the station, and arrived at a locked door.
"The heretic leader is in this next room." Said one elite.
"how do you know?" the elite pointed at the sign, which read "roof- secret entrances, level 4- constant fighting, level 3- weird spaceship dealie which has no real importance, -level 2-generic hallway fighting. Level 1- heretic leader."
"I see." Said Rantik. "But how are we supposed to get through this locked door. He looked up and heard somebody say, "Slice that door, Deltas." 4 men in white armor ran over to a conveniently placed console, and one began to type on it. The door slid open.
"What are you guys doing here?" asked Rantik.
"Breachin' doors." Said the yellow one, as though it was the most obvious thing ever.
"Well, uh, thanks." Said Rantik, and the squad walked inside were the heretic leader was.
"I have been expecting you." Said the heretic leader, who swung around in a chair to face the team.
"What the- how did you know we were coming?" asked Rantik.
"I read ahead in the story." Said the heretic leader smugly. And with that, he activated his jetpack, and began firing at them. they all ducked for cover. Rantik primed a plasma grenade, and threw it. It soared though the air-and landed on one of Rantik's elite allies. He yelled, and ran into a support pole as the explosion engulfed him. The pole teetered for a second, and then fell over, right on top of the heretic leader.
There was a moment's silence.
"Did you just kill that heretic?" said one elite finally. Rantik nodded slowly, his actions dawning on him. "All hail Rantik, The fiercest warrior the covenant has ever seen!" the elites all cheered.
"I'm not dead..." said the heretic leader, whose head was still visible underneath the giant pole.
"What was that?" asked an elite.
"Just air escaping" replied Rantik.
"I'm not dead!"
Silence.
"He says he's not dead."
"Well he is."
"No I'm not!"
"Yes you are!"
"I'm getting" better!"
"No you aren't."
"I don't want to die! I'm still alive."
Rantik sighed exasperatedly.
"Excuse me for a second." He ran over and began kicking the heretic in the head.
"OW! Quit it! I am a great leader!Ow! I demand respect! Ouch! You're bruising my face! Ow! Quit it!"
"Shut up! Why won't you shut up?" yelled Rantik. Finally, the elite fell silent. And there was much cheering.
Please don't sue me, Monty Python!
