Hey eveybody! Sorry I havn't updated this in a very long time, but I have been busy with school. I hope to get this more on track. So, without further ado, the new, improved episode. (do not consume if you are allergic to connect the dots. If you are unsure if you should be eating literature, please consult a physician or lawyer, or somebody that's not me.)
The Adventures of SALAD MAN and POTATO BOY!
Act I – the Ranch Dressing Robbery
"come quick to the vegetable bank, saladman!" cried the mayor of vegiville. "there's been a robbery!"
"tell me about the clues!" cried salad man." Potato boy and I shall get to the bottom of this!"
"well" the detective cried, " all that was left at the scene was this calling card, that says
"you have been robbed by Darry Dressing. Questions or comments about this robbery? Call me at 555-555-5555-55555-5555 or visit me on the web at could it possibly be?" cried Saladman.
Ehehehe… just kidding around.
The Grunt arbiter chapter 3
Rantik gulped as he walked towards one place no grunt had been before (no, not the shower). It was the mausoleum of the Arbiter.
"stop here." Growled one of his elite escorts.
"why?"
"my shoelace's untied. Gimme a second. Over, under, round the bunny hole…there we go!"
and they continued in. inside were the three prophets, one was getting a drink from an elite.
"NO!" yelled the prophet, in his wussy, high pitched voice. "I said cream, not milk. TARTARUS!"
"let there be no greater heresy!" yelled Tartarus, ramming the mark of shame onto the elite's face. The elite screamed, ran around, and fell off those giant cliffs leading to nowhere that are every freakin where for some reason. The Prophet took a sip.
"hmm. So it was cream after all."
"highest prophets. We have brought the soldier, as you requested,"
"you may leave, random elite guy."
"my name's-"
what makes you think I care?" the elite bowed and left, muttering about his rights as a member of the covenant.
"and who are you, grunt?" asked the prophet That We Formally Kicked The Crap Out Of.
"me Rantik, excellency."
"I have heard of your triumphs. You have done well. Tell me, how would you like to take on a grand opportunity?"
"uh….sure."
"how would you like to be the Arbiter, the grandest of our warriors?"
" I thought you already had one?"
" oh no, he died. We sent him on a mission to fight the standbying heretics of the internets, and they dropped his level so low that he got sad and started playing crimson skies. What a terrible waste."
"Rantik wants to know what's in it for him."
"well, you will get significantly improved armor than the standard paper bag armor the average grunt gets. Another improvement is this blue plasma pistol!"
"what makes it special?'
"it's blue! Another thing you will receive is this entourage of lovely female grunts!" the prophet pulled on a string to reveal a group of girl grunts smiling and winking at Rantik.
" Rantik…is.. not so sure about this…."
"finally" the Prophet said "you will receive a lifetime supply of the finest cheese we have to offer, any time you want." Rantik drooled, thinking of the cheese.
"Rantik will do it!"
"exellent" said the prophet. "and let nothing stand in our way!"
end chapter 3 , four coming soon (hopefully)
