A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed. It's been interesting to see how you react to this story.
Hmmm, I'm afraid some of you are going to be disappointed, though, because I don't write "wedding night" scenes in my stories. I leave that pretty much to the imagination, and certainly some of you will imagine more than others, but that's the way it is. Sorry! (About the closest I got was in By The Book, and that was only for a specific reason – which I won't mention here because shie1dmaidenofrohan hasn't read it yet!)
Jazzcat – Actually, I think it was significant that she didn't slap Mordren in Eye. Normally, she is very in control, no matter how rude others are. That is why it was so atypical for her to slap both Eomer and Amrothos, for different reasons, here. Her control is being shaken by all this.
The Heart of the Beholder
Chapter 5
It was only a few days before the wedding, and life became even busier than before. More and more guests arrived, requiring much attention from Lothiriel. Eowyn and Gamling helped to the extent that they could, but many things only Lothiriel could do. It meant she had to spend less time with Eomer, so she was even more grateful for the heavy rains that had bought them so much time together.
She had just escaped a long-winded round of well-wishing in the Golden Hall, and had collected Eomer's clean laundry to put away. She had not seen him since breakfast, and she idly wondered what this day was bringing him. As she sorted clothing into the correct drawers, arms unexpectedly encircled her from behind.
For a moment, she tensed, but then a beloved voice in her ear whispered, "Make certain there is plenty of room in those drawers for you to put your clothing also!"
She turned in the arms and gave Eomer a kiss. "You startled me! I did not realize you were in..." Suddenly she gasped and stared at him wide-eyed, then looked him up and down. He gave her a roguish grin and cocked a questioning eyebrow.
"You are...standing!" Her hands cupped his face as she struggled to take it in. "Am I dreaming?" she asked.
"No, you are not dreaming. When the healer examined me yesterday morning, I realized that I could feel his hands on my legs. I did not say anything to you because I did not want to get your hopes up. But last night, my legs felt almost normal, so I attempted standing, and then walking around, after you left me for the night. I am shaky, and I tire quickly, but I can do it!" He pulled her close and let out a laugh. "I can walk!"
Unable to resist, Lothiriel began to smother him with kisses, and he made no objection to the attention. After a few moments, he did pull away from her and lead her to a chair. Sitting down heavily, he commented, "I did say I tire quickly, but I will improve in time. Probably I am doing as well as I am thanks to your exercise program for me to keep the muscles in some condition."
He pulled her down onto his lap and they simply sat holding one another, too full of emotion to express it.
At length, Lothiriel whispered, "I am so happy for you, dearest."
Eomer's brow wrinkled. "For me? Are you not pleased as well that you no longer need to care for me?"
She just smiled softly and stroked his cheek, her forehead resting against his. "I did not mind caring for you, my love. I only minded that you were compelled to allow it, rather than choosing it. I will always care for you as much as you will let me."
Eomer's arms tightened around her, and he let out a contented sigh. A knock at the door interrupted their interlude, and with reluctance Lothiriel rose to answer it.
Elfhelm and Eothain stood there. "We have come to take the King to his council meeting," Elfhelm advised.
With a grin, she opened the door wider. "Do come in."
Both of them gave her a questioning look at her behavior, but nearly jumped out of their skins when Eomer suddenly appeared around the screens saying, "Do not you men have anything better to do than laze about in the king's bedchamber?"
After a moment of stunned silence and open-mouthed gaping, Elfhelm recovered first and let out a hearty laugh. "My lord, I am very pleased to find our services are no longer needed!" With only a brief hesitation, he pulled the young king into an embrace, and soon Eothain was clapping him on the back as well.
While the three men laughed and talked, Lothiriel slipped from the room and soon located Eowyn in the Golden Hall, going over the final menu with Gamling. Stepping up to them and giving them a solemn gaze, she said, "If you will accompany me, there is a matter of urgent business for which your presence is required."
They looked curiously at her and at one another, but as she offered no other explanation, they followed her toward the sleeping area. It did not take long for them to realize they were headed to Eomer's bedchamber, and as they drew nearer they could hear loud talk and merriment. Again, they cast a questioning look at each other, wondering what could possibly be going on. A moment later, they had their answer. In an instant, Eowyn had rushed into her brother's arms and was hugging him tightly. "Oh, this is so wonderful!" she exclaimed, tears streaming down her cheeks.
Gamling was more restrained, but looked just as pleased at this turn of events. After a few moments, though, he realized why Elfhelm and Eothain were there. "Not to interrupt, my lord, but I believe there is someplace you are supposed to be just now." He cast a meaningful glance at the two men and Eomer remembered their purpose.
"Yes, of course. I suppose I can go now, since everyone knows about my recovery who particularly needs to know. You may pass the word along to others as the opportunity arises." With that Eomer led the way slowly down the hall, leaving only Eowyn, Gamling and Lothiriel standing together.
Eowyn swept Lothiriel into a hug. "I am so pleased for you, for both of you!"
Lothiriel brushed at tears on her own cheeks. "As you said, it is excellent news!" She turned to Gamling and added, "I do thank you, sir, for all you have done. I know your efforts went well beyond your duties as Doorward. You have proven yourself a devoted friend."
Gamling blushed slightly but bowed to her. "Thank you, my lady. It was my pleasure to help, but I could have done little without you. Rohan has no idea the debt they owe you, or the quality of their soon-to-be queen."
Casting aside protocol, Lothiriel went to embrace him, and after only a slight hesitation, he returned it. When they broke apart, she gave a laugh. "So, how does this foul our wedding plans?"
Gamling and Eowyn gave each other a startled look and immediately took off down the hall, discussing changes to the arrangements that were presently in place.
Lothiriel smiled with amusement, then resumed her earlier task and finished with putting away Eomer's clothes. His shirts were last, and before she laid them in their place, she ran her hand lovingly over one of them.
She stood lost in thought, realizing that she felt a little sad about Eomer not needing her so much as he had before. As difficult as it had been at times, she meant what she had told him – she had gladly cared for him, and would willingly do it again if needed – but she would miss the closeness his dependence had developed between them. She hoped that it could be maintained in some semblance after they were married, though she knew his recovered physical capacity would take him away from her far more often. Shaking her head, she pulled herself from this reverie. He was well. They would just have to find their new relationship in these changed circumstances.
xxxxx
News spread quickly throughout Edoras that the king was recovered, and there was much celebrating and well-wishing taking place. As all eyes were focused on Eomer, Lothiriel was shunted into the background in all the excitement. At first, she was merely pleased for Eomer, and took no notice that the attention was off her. But, gradually, she began to be aware that even Eomer seemed oblivious to her, and was spending most of his time with others. There was no longer a need to take meals in his room with just her in attendance, nor did he need her to assist him in his daily activities, and she seemed to be the last thing on his mind.
By the second day, Lothiriel realized how hurt she was feeling by this. The closeness that she and her betrothed had developed had seemed important to the both of them, and she was bothered by how easily he appeared to put her completely out of his mind and his life.
The warm late-spring weather made it pleasing to be outside, so Lothiriel sought solace in the garden. The gardener was reluctant to have her working there, but could hardly refuse when she insisted she wanted to weed and dig. The physicality of it felt good, and helped distract her from her increasingly disturbing thoughts and concerns about her upcoming marriage.
She had been working there most of the morning when she heard footsteps approaching. Likely it was the gardener coming to try again to dissuade her, she thought. But the steps came to a halt and a familiar low voice said, "I suppose I should not be surprised to find you here. Do you know, I think it was when I first found you weeding my garden that I began to fall in love with you."
Lothiriel continued to work and did not look up. She struggled to keep her face impassive, not wanting to get into an argument, but afraid her emotions were too fragile to prevent it. When there was no answer to his observation, Eomer added softly, "I miss you, Thiri. I realize now how nice it was to have yours be the first face I saw in the morning and the last I saw at night. I am glad our wedding is so close."
Still she did not respond and Eomer's brow wrinkled in concern and confusion. "Thiri? Are you all right? Have I done something wrong?"
"I am fine," she said stiffly. "I want to get these flowers taken care of before the midday meal."
It was not an answer to his question, he realized, and he stood staring at her, wondering what he had done and what he should do now. Before he could speak again, however, Gamling put in appearance. "My lord, the council is here and ready to meet."
Not wanting to deal with this matter in haste, Eomer nodded and said quietly, "I will see you later, beloved." Her only reaction was to nod and continue with what she was doing. Slowly Eomer turned away, his eyes dark with worry.
Because his thoughts were on Lothiriel, Eomer found it difficult to pay attention in the council meeting and ended it as quickly as possible. Knowing he needed time alone to consider the situation, he had Gamling turn away visitors and holed up in his study to think. He had been there some time, making no progress, when there was a knock at the door. "Come in," he called, surprised Gamling had let someone slip past him.
The someone turned out to be his brother-in-law, Faramir. He watched as Faramir entered and took a seat across from him, gazing at him pensively. After a few moments, the Gondorian commented, "You seem troubled, my friend, and I know my cousin is upset about something."
Eomer nodded and sighed. "Yes, but I do not know what. When I saw her earlier she did not seem to want to speak to me, and I was called away before I could try to discover the source of her unrest."
"Can you not guess what it is?" Faramir asked quietly.
The king looked up, startled. "You know what is troubling her? Please tell me! Clearly she is upset with me for some reason, but I do not know what I have done…or not done." He gave Faramir a pleading look.
Faramir sighed and shook his head. He tended to forget that not everyone could read people as well as he could, and obviously Eomer was not good at reading Lothiriel. "Since you regained the use of your legs, how much time have you spent with her?" he questioned.
Eomer blinked in surprise and thought for a moment. "Not very much, actually. It seems everyone wants to wish me well and celebrate so I have had no time during the day, and now that she is no longer assisting me I do not see her before or after my day begins. In fact, I just mentioned to her how much I miss her."
From his answer, it was clear to Faramir that he still did not grasp the problem. "Saying you miss her is all very well and good, Eomer, but for almost two months she has devoted virtually every waking moment to your care. Suddenly you are well and she is cast aside like a broken toy. How do you expect her to feel?" He hadn't meant to be quite so blunt, but perhaps it was for the best.
Slowly Eomer rose to gaze out the window, which by chance overlooked the garden where Lothiriel had been working. The distress was evident on his face. "I never intended…" His sentence trailed away, unfinished. After several moments, he asked, "Is this how it is to be, Faramir? Am I always to be hurting her through my thoughtlessness, even though I do not wish to do so? If that is the case, then perhaps she is better off not marrying me and subjecting herself to such torment."
Faramir moved to stand beside him. "It does not have to be so. Do not despair, Eomer. You are no worse than most men. It is not uncommon for us to fail to see when we are hurting our wives by our words or actions. But if we are willing to work a little harder at it, we can improve. And most women seem to prefer tolerating such things from the man they love than living without him." He brought his hand up to Eomer's shoulder. "Talk to her. Apologize, and assure her you do still need and want her – that you were just acting stupidly. I would be very surprised if she is unwilling to forgive you, because the truth of it is, she misses you too. That is why it hurts so much."
Eomer turned to look at the older man. "How is it you know these things? Is it just you, or does wisdom come with age?"
Faramir shrugged. "I do not know. Eowyn would likely tell you that I make my own share of mistakes. But hopefully I learn from them and do not make the same mistake twice."
He turned toward the door. "Now then, since you cannot safely leave this room without being besieged by people anxious to speak with you, I will go and persuade my cousin to come talk to you here."
"Faramir—" He looked back at Eomer questioningly. "Thank you. I can never repay the debt I owe you for all your help and guidance."
With a grin, Faramir replied, "Perhaps not, but I will have to consider how to make you try!" He winked at Eomer and slipped out the door.
It was not long before Eomer heard loud voices in the hallway, and Faramir returned with his cousin slung over his shoulder, angrily berating him to put her down.
Eomer could not restrain a laugh. "You have a most interesting method of persuading people!"
Faramir lowered Lothiriel with a smile. "My apologies, Thiri, but since you were reluctant to come by your own power, I thought this method necessary." He caught her shoulders and turned her to face Eomer. "Now, I want the two of you to talk, and I am going to remain outside the door so no one can escape until matters are resolved. So resign yourself to finding a resolution, or being stuck in here a very long time." He gave her a slight shove, and was quickly out the door.
Lothiriel turned to glare at the door and her unseen cousin. Crossing her arms, she faced Eomer once more, but avoided meeting his eyes. "Faramir seems to think there is something you wish to say to me, my lord."
This wasn't going to be easy, Eomer thought. She always seemed to revert to calling him 'my lord' when she was angry with him. He'd have to remember that – learn from his mistakes, as Faramir had said.
He walked over and sat on the edge of his desk. He still tired easily, and standing was uncomfortable for any real length of time. Rubbing his neck, he tried to find words to undo the mess he had created. He wasn't a man who was skilled with rhetoric and flowery speech, and he felt unequal to the task of convincing her of his remorse. At last, he decided to approach this in his usual straightforward manner and just be honest with her.
"Thiri, I love you. That has not changed in any way. I know I have behaved stupidly, and no doubt it will not be the last time I do so, but none of my feelings for you are altered. Well, perhaps that is not accurate – it is very probable that they are even stronger than they were before. I cherish the time we spent together while I was paralyzed. The closeness we shared was the only good thing about it, and I do not want that to end. I have let others claim my time since I recovered, but it does not mean I do not want to be with you anymore…or that I no longer need you," he finished softly.
He moved toward her and tentatively slipped an arm around her waist. When she did not resist or pull away, he felt emboldened. "Please forgive me, my love. Tell me I have not lost you," he whispered.
With a sob, her arms came up around his neck and she buried her face in his shoulder. He held her while she cried out her hurt and relief. As the tears eased, she whispered back, "You have not lost me. I was just afraid you no longer wanted me."
"I will always want you. Even if I do not need you, I will always want you," he told her earnestly. "And I will do my best to never make you doubt that again."
One hand slipped forward to his cheek and she stroked it softly as she searched his eyes, finding the honesty she sought there. At last convinced, her lips moved to his and they were soon lost in one another's embrace.
End Note: As I said at the beginning of chapter 1, there is precedence for this injury. Athletes have been known to get injured in games and be temporarily paralyzed, but eventually regain the use of their limb(s) and even return to their sport. It is called Transient Spinal Cord Injury. However, as I also said before, I couldn't find many details about it on the internet, so I may be way off base on how long it takes to resolve itself and so forth. But it IS theoretically possible for this injury to have happened to Eomer.
