Standard Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Author's Note: About time I updated this one, huh? Please forgive anything odd in this fic. Also I've never seen season two, so please don't get mad at me for any mistakes I might have made. Thank you all for your comments. And I'm just going to make it clear right now. There won't be a lemon. I just can't...write them...oooruns away to hideooo

The Taito Project

Attempt 1 - The Closet

Objectives: To lock Yagami together with Ishida in a closet of limited space for an extended period of time, and to have excellent ice cream. Flavor is debatable.

Leader of Operation: Takaishi Takeru /because he doesn't trust the rest of us/

Materials: One picnic at the park, one soccer ball, one computer room, one fake digital world emergency, one coat closet, one combination lock, two fake janitors bribed with Daisuke's money, one dense Yagami, one clue less Ishida, and 21 ice cream cones. Flavor is debatable.

Genius of the Week: Ichijouji Ken /Anyone who disagrees can go fight Daisuke right now. We are not responsible for any injuries thus acquired/

Procedure:

1. Have a lovely picnic in the park. Invite Ishida and Yagami.
2. Play a game of soccer. Act normal.
3. A laptop will beep precisely 14 minutes and 23 seconds after initiation of the game. Tell Yagami and Ishida it's an emergency.
4. Drag Yagami and Ishida to the school computer room.
5. Have the fake janitors approach computer room.
6. Pretend to hide. Shove Yagami and Ishida into coat closet.
7. Apply combination lock and leave.
8. Buy 21 ice cream cones. Flavor is debatable.

OOOOOO

It was a beautiful day. So beautiful he couldn't feel himself touch the ground. His lovely, angelic boyfriend had cooked him a heavenly lunch. His lovely, angelic boyfriend was sitting right in front of him. The sky was clear. The birds were singing. And Ishida Yamato belonged to him.

"Taichi, you are drooling."

Ishida Yamato belonged to him.

Smack!

Taichi fell back to earth abruptly to see a very smug Yama staring back at him.

"Ow."

"You deserved it."

"Hmph."

"Hurry up. We are going to be late."

"Where are we going again?"

Sigh.

"Seriously! I don't remember."

"The park. Yagami. We are supposed to meet our friends."

"Oh."

"What is wrong with you today? You keep drifting off. What are you thinking about?"

"You."

"Really."

"I think about you a lot, Yama. All the time. You know that?"

Silence.

Silence.

Blue eyes stared at brown eyes.

They didn't get out of the apartment for a long time.

OOOOOO

"They. Are. Late." Takeru grit out between clenched teeth.

"Don't worry about it," Hikari said hastily, laying a gentle hand on his arm. "You know how they are."

"Yeah," Daisuke agreed. "And anyway, I thought the plan was to lock them in a closet?"

"It is." Takeru twitched.

"Then why are we all at the park?"

Not in the mood to have his boyfriend murdered, Ken spoke up. "Because it would be less suspicious that way, Dai."

"Ooohhh."

Ken smiled a little, pleased. They had a genius with them after all. What could possibly go wrong?

OOOOOO

Taichi and Yamato showed up an hour later, looking incredibly happy. Taichi in particular kept grinning foolishly at nothing.

They'd already eaten, which was just as well, since Daisuke had polished off whatever food remained in their picnic baskets.

Yamato flat out refused to play soccer, and Taichi...always followed Yamato.

So the rest of the group played soccer, while Yamato and Taichi settled down in the shadows of a large tree, whispering together.

Taichi and Yamato's whispered conversation:

"Can I tell them?"

"No. Why would you want to?"

"So I can kiss you in public."

"I'll never let you kiss me in public, Taichi. It's not polite."

"Yama..."

"Don't whine. It's remarkable how they still have no clue, after three months..."

"They'll never figure it out if we don't tell them."

"Taichi..."

"Just one little kiss? Please? Nobody's looking."

"Oh...all right."

Insert long pause.

"Taichi! That was more than just a little kiss!"

"Oops..."

Sigh.

"If we tell everyone about us, then your fan girls might leave you alone..."

"...Only to be replaced by fan boys?"

"Oh..."

"Let's just wait and see how dense our friends really are. Okay?"

"Okay. But can I tell them?"

Sigh.

OOOOOO

Koushiro's laptop beeped on time. They dragged Yamato and Taichi to the school computer room.

The victims weren't very happy.

"So, you guys can go," Taichi said, arms crossed. "Why the hell do we have to come?"

Takeru clamped a hand over Taichi's mouth. "Shh...do you hear something?"

"Mmmph."

"It's the janitors! Everyone. Hide!"

"Mmph!"

"Here, Yamato, Taichi, you guys can go into the closet. Koushiro, Jyou, behind that desk over there..."

Yamato and Taichi were shoved into the closet.

Takeru clicked the lock in place.

Many hand shakes and pats on the back followed.

They went out to buy their ice cream.

OOOOOO

Inside the closet:

"Taichi, your elbow's in my gut."

"Mmmph, soooorryy."

"Are you sniffing my hair?"

"No..."

"You...are..."

"Smell good. You changed shampoos, no?"

"Shh! What's happening out there."

They listened to the silence.

"Yama...you stepped on my...toeeeee..."

"Sorry, but I can't hear anything. Can you?"

"No..."

"Taichi."

"Yes?"

"Get your hand off there."

"But.."

"Now."

"Okay."

Yamato tried to open the closet.

And failed.

"We are locked in."

"Are we?"

Yamato knocked on the closet door. "Hey guys! Let us out of here."

Nothing happened.

"Those bastards, where did they go?"

"And they kidnapped my sister!"

"I can't believe this."

"I know. I'm stuck in a closet with the hottest guy ever who happens to be my boyfriend. What are the odds?"

"Taichi..."

"You know you want to, little Yama-chan."

"Gah!"

And that's the last thing Yamato said for a very long time. It's difficult to escape a Yagami in a closet of limited space.

OOOOOO

They returned an hour later to view the fruits of their labor.

The closet door was opened with much flourish and their victims tumbled out.

Ishida glared.

Yagami glared.

"So...what did you guys do in there?"

"We came up with a list. A very long list."

"That's all?"

"That's all. And you know what the title of that list is?"

"Um..."

"Fifty different ways to kill our friends."

"I see..."

"Did you guys at least save us some ice cream?"

Daisuke looked up, mouth full of the last cone. "Um..."

They spent the rest of the day running for their lives.

OOOOOO

Attempt One Failed.

OOOOOO

Rubisco. Is. An. Enzyme.