A/N Thanks So much to those of you who reviewed. Here is another chapter. Enjoy and feedback would be appreciated. Thanks to Tista for being a Great beta.
Thanks
Jaime Bee
Ch. 17
"Bloody wanker, just had to open your big mouth; when things couldn't be going better. I really I am love's bitch." Spike mumbled with frustration as he rummaged for his clothes on the floor.
Buffy didn't know what to do? She felt completely torn. One part of her wanted to talk to him and see if he really did love her, but the other part of her who still remembered the pain she had been through with all the men in her life told her run away as far as possible.
Her father was the first to let her down; Even now the pain that he had caused her and her mother haunted her. Of course then there was Angel; everything in their relationship had always been one drama after another. There were only a few moments that she could remember being happy with him. The turning point had been when they had made love. Buffy knew she would feel guilty her whole life for being the one that caused Angel to lose his soul. It didn't matter that she didn't know what would happen? She still blamed herself for the deaths he caused and most of all for taking away the woman Giles loved. If only she could have killed him sooner?
"Buffy pet let me in we need to talk." Spike yelled through the bathroom door.
"Go away!" The slayer yelled as she slumped down to the floor curled up in a ball.
"Slayer if you won't let me in? Can you please just listen to me?" Spike knew he had scared her when he admitted his feelings. He thought it was best not to push her too much.
"I guess just say what you wanna say and please just leave me alone?" Buffy said holding back tears.
"I didn't mean to say that; at least not then. I know you aren't ready for that and honestly neither am I; but I'm not a complete idiot. Remember when I told you and Angel that sodden speech about love?"
"Yeah it really had a big impact on me." She said coming towards the door. Spike could feel her and rested his hand on the door as Buffy did at the same time. They both closed their eyes and let their selves feel each other longing for the other.
"Buffy my point is that no matter how hard you try you can't control who you fall in love with. All I'm asking for is a chance to show you that I can make you happy if you just let me?" He asked in a pleading voice.
With tears falling down her cheeks she opened the door. For a moment they just looked at each other.
"Spike I listened to you and now I need you to listen to me. I feel like all of this is just happening so fast. You know how to read me so well. You're right what is between us is more than lust but I'm not ready for this." Buffy explained wiping the tears from her cheeks.
"Luv all I ask is for us to explore what we could have? We can go as slow as you like." He said caressing her cheek and staring in her emerald eyes filled with tears.
"I just need some time to think about this." She said touching his hand that still lingered on her cheek.
"I understand." Spike said stepping away from her and walking towards the stairs.
"No Spike, please don't go?" Buffy begged as she grabbed his arm.
"Pet I'm not going anywhere but downstairs for some blood and get a change of clothes from my bag. I left in the living room." He said kissing her on the forehead.
"Oh I just thought you were mad." She stammered embarrassingly.
"I'll be down after I change. Oh, and could you order a pizza?"
"Right then I'll be waiting." Spike said smirking.
Buffy just grinned and turned to her room and closed the door with a sigh. Was she crazy for even thinking of giving her mortal enemy a chance to love her? Wow had things changed. Buffy still remembered the night they had me. It had been an ordinary night at least for her. Willow as usual had been trying to get her to understand her homework. Deciding to take a break she Xander and Willow danced. At the time she had thought maybe she was just imagining it. Somebody was watching her intently and she could feel a strange feeling of excitement and nervousness in her stomach as she felt eyes rake over her body and watching every move she made. Buffy had just kept on dancing and smiling as if she was oblivious but then heard somebody yell about a guy trying to bite somebody outside. The slayer ran outside and with a few punches had the upper hand while Xander had ran and got her a stake. Soon he threw it to her and heard the vampire yell to Spike for help. Buffy had then turned to see in the shadows a man with bleached hair complimenting her fighting skills. The moment she saw him her first thought had been that he was the hottest guy she had ever seen and that voice could make her melt. Curiously she had asked who he was and he had said she would find out on Saturday. What happens on Saturday? I kill you Spike had said in a chilling voice and disappeared back into the shadows; leaving Buffy with one thought Crap he's a vampire! She didn't really get scared until Angel had told her that Spike would do destroy and do anything to get what he wants. Not to mention the fact that Giles had added he had killed two slayers. But Spike hadn't waited until Saturday and thinking back their fighting even then was more like foreplay and had lots of innuendo. Every time they had fought she had loved having a challenge for a change. Most vamps were so easy for her to dust. But he was different in so many ways. The love and devotion he had for Drusilla and he had helped her save the world. Could he really love her and could she love him as well? But what if he decides he doesn't and becomes evil like Angel? The one thing that Buffy did know was that she wanted him and slayer's lives were short so maybe she should take what she could get.
"Oh, the gang are gonna love this." She mumbled with sarcasm; thinking of Xander's reaction and threw on jeans and a blue tank top. For second she thought about taking a shower but figured what was the point? They couldn't keep their hands off each other. The blonde looked at herself in the mirror and cringed. She thought "I definitely need make up and to fix this hair."
After ordering the pizza, Spike decided to just get a new black t shirt. He hoped his girl wouldn't tear this one up; his wardrobe wasn't very extensive. Sitting on the sofa flipping the TV he couldn't help wonder how he had gotten here? William the Bloody was hopelessly in love with a slayer. She seemed so desperate when she had thought he was leaving again. This strong warrior was so vulnerable on the inside. The evil Spike would have used that to his advantage. He had wanted since the first moment he saw her dancing with her mates; looking so innocent yet the way she moved was so sensual. Looking at her she was unknowingly a siren who could bring any man to his knees. Spike had even thought of asking her dance and shagging her and then tasting her blood and bagging his third slayer. But he wanted to see her fight so he called one of his minions and yelled out alerting her that a vampire was going after someone in the alley. If Spike was really honest with himself he knew that if he had really wanted to kill her he would have. When he wanted something he would never stop until he got it. Sure her pals had been there to help but every time they fought he had enjoyed their dance and was never ready for it to end.
Suddenly the door bell rang. Buffy was still upstairs getting ready. After hearing it ring repeatedly Spike sighed and went to answer it.
"Slayer I think the pizza's here!"
"There's some money in my purse!" She yelled back.
"Bloody Hell, wait a sodden minute!" He growled and opened the door.
"Oh Bugger!" Spike said as he saw the unexpected visitor standing in front of him; looking shocked at seeing the bleached vampire.
