Trust
Chapter Four
Disclaimer: Nah, still not mine.
XXXX
"'We have to talk'?" she questioned, throwing him a perplexed look. He nodded in response, and gestured over to the couch in a silent attempt to have her sit down, to which she adamantly shook her head. Oh, hell no, she was standing, especially if he wanted to her to be sitting. "What do we have to talk about?" Which, probably wasn't the best question to be asking, giving what the two of them had been discussing before her CO stopped by... and she had a pretty good idea that whatever Pete thought they needed to talk about had something to do with that.
He started by sighing, "Why don't you tell me things, Sam?"
She nervously glanced over at the general, who was standing in the middle of the living room, a confused expression on his face. Did he really need to be here for this conversation? What did any of this have to do with him, anyway? "Pete, you know that I can't–"
"No," he stopped her, mid sentence. "No. There isn't any thing stopping you from telling me things about yourself, and your past... I could live without knowing about what happens to you at work, really, I could. But, Sam, you can't even tell me about your childhood. Why is that? Really? Why won't you tell me?"
"Pete, I– it's not easy for me..." she looked at him again, still wondering what he had to do with any of this. Turning back to her fiancé she shrugged her shoulders halfway, "I don't know..."
"You'd tell him," Pete claimed, nodding towards Jack, "if he asked."
Sam nearly choked at the implication, but forced herself to keep a straight face in front of both of them. "How can you say that? You don't know–"
"That's just the problem," he interjected, "I don't know. Anything. Well, when it comes to you, that is. Why is that?"
Maybe there had been a reason he wanted her to sit down, her legs were starting to wobble a bit and Sam briefly wondered if they could see it. She searched her mind for the right words, finding the irony of the situation not amusing at all. In any other situation she would have plenty of words and many different variations with which to use them, but for some reason her brain had completely shut her out. "Pete..."
"Answer me this," he asked, stepping closer to her, "if we shared our lives together... how come we don't share our lives? You shouldn't have to tell me everything, Sam– but why wouldn't you want to?" He said that already. "Unless, there's somebody else you're waiting for. Somebody who isn't afraid to say that the past isn't the past, or somebody who isn't afraid to ask you about your past experiences..."
"You never asked," she replied, her eyes glued to the carpet.
"Yeah..." he said with a snort. "...I was too afraid to be honest with you and myself because, if I was truly honest, gut-wrenching honest, I'd have to admit..." he looked over at Jack and frowned, "that we're not right the way you to are. Are we?"
"Pete, no–"
He turned to look at her once more, "I can't be with you anymore, Sam... not when it's painfully clear to me that you're already in love with somebody else. I won't waste my life hoping that someday you'll forget about him and turn to me instead." He began backing away from her as he continued, "Who am I kidding anyway? A clean break is easier– you can set it, and it heals, and you move on. But if you leave things messy, or things don't get put right, it just hurts... forever."
She tried to walk after him, "Don't... Pete, please–"
"It's really time for me to move away from you," he said with a nod, "from all of this... I don't even know who you are anymore." His head cocked to one side and he sighed, "I don't think I ever did." He turned and headed for the door, grabbing his keys from the coffee table and his duffle bag from next to the door. When he had made it halfway out he turned around and looked at her, "Goodbye, Sam..." he turned to Jack and smiled sadly, "take care of her."
And then he was gone.
After a few seconds of standing there, staring at the door with a dumbstruck look on her face, she came to her sense. "Pete?" she called, running after him, just in time to see him walk around the corner, his cell phone to his ear, no doubt calling for a taxi. "Pete!"
He never once looked back. Sam leaned against the doorframe, upset and confused and thrown, all at the same time. What had just happened? How had it happened? How come she hadn't seen it coming? After a few minutes of standing there, staring in the direction he had walked out of her life, she turned and entered her house, solemnly shutting the door behind her, then resting her back against it as she closed her eyes with a sigh. What was she going to do?
Then she remembered that she wasn't alone in the house. Her eyes flew open instantly and found his, and she was confused by what she found in them. Confusion. He was confused and she was confused and neither of them knew what had happened or what was going on. "Sir, I..." she shook her head, still at a loss for words, and allowed herself to slid down the door and land on her backside, sitting on the floor. "He's gone?"
"Yeah, Carter..." he replied, speaking for the first time during the whole conversation. "He's gone."
She looked up at him, her head tilted slightly to one side, thinking something through. "Why didn't I chase after him...?" she mused. "Shouldn't I be more upset by this?"
"I don't know Carter," he confessed. "You're not?"
Upset? No... disappointed and a bit shocked at being broken up with, yeah. But, she wasn't feeling upset at all. Well, maybe she was upset with herself for stringing him along, or... for him figuring it out. "I'm so damn confused right know, sir. I don't know what to do..."
Well, scratch that. She did know what to do. Get off that damn floor, that was what. Her leg was screaming at her for being in such an awkward position. Sam slowly began to stand up, being careful not to put too much pressure on her hurt leg, and once again leaned against the door. "I never..." she sighed, "he never once indicated that he was going to leave..."
"They usually don't, Carter."
Sam looked down at her hand, her head cocked to the side, once again thinking things over in her mind. "I never wore my ring... you know? I wonder why I never wore it." The truth was, she had taken it off after the first week. Not only did it get in the way of her working on her experiments and made firing a weapon awkward and clumsy, but people were always staring at it, gawking or telling her how beautiful it was and how lucky she was. It was annoying and she found that life was easier when it was at home on her dresser in it's box. She had contemplated putting it on a chain and wearing it around her neck, but she never had. "I would you know?"
He looked at her, confused, "You would, what?"
She smiled faintly, as if she thought it was funny he even had to ask. "Tell you about my past... if you asked."
"Carter..." he warned, "don't go there."
"Yeah," she said, nodding. "Right..."
"I really should go..." he mused, breaking eye contact with her. "You probably have a lot to think about and you don't need me to distract you."
And he would have, too. She couldn't think about anything with him so close. "Yeah... I guess so." She moved away from the door, finding her way back into the living room and sinking down into her oversized chair.
"If you need anything," he offered, "just call."
She nodded, "I will..."
It was an empty promise, and they both knew it. But, he already had an idea to help and he was going to get started with it right away.
XXXX
An hour and a half later, Sam was still sitting on her oversized chair, when there was a knock at her door. She didn't move from her spot, rather called out to who ever it was, "Door's open!"
A moment later the sound of the door being pushed open filled the air and she tilted her head to look in the direction of the noise. Daniel walked through the doorway, took in her frown, and smiled lightly, "Expecting somebody else?"
She shook her head, actually, Daniel had been exactly who she was expecting, she had just been hoping she was wrong. "Come on in," she told him, although he was already walking towards her. His frown deepened at the sight of her; she was sitting on the chair, her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around her legs. With her leg stitched up as it was the position had to be painful for her.
Which, it would have been, had she not drug herself off of the chair for three minutes nearly an hour prior and taken the pain-medication that the doctor had prescribed for her, "Sit down, Daniel... I've been waiting for you."
"Really?" he questioned, a bit surprised. Then again, wasn't he always the one who went to check on somebody when they weren't doing so well? Sam knew that just as well as he did. "How are you doing?" he questioned, sitting on the couch across from her.
"I'm fine, Daniel... confused, but fine."
"Then you're brooding because...?"
"I don't know," she confessed. "There's nothing better to do?"
There really wasn't. Her leg was hurt, so she couldn't go out anywhere, especially after she took those meds. She had already eaten dinner, and the last thing she wanted to do was watch a movie or TV. Perhaps, if she had been any less lazy she could have forced herself off of the chair for another minute and grabbed a book, those always made her feel better, but she hadn't wanted to get up, so she was bookless. Daniel seemed to understand this, "You want to go get something to eat? There's a Dairy Queen down the road... I could use some ice cream."
"It's March..." she informed him, "it's too cold for ice-cream."
"It's not that bad outside... it's almost April, you know?"
She looked over at him, a strange look in her eyes, "He broke up with me..."
"I've heard," Daniel said. "Has he called or anything?"
Sam shook her head, "No... I don't think he's going to. Not for awhile, at least. I won't, either... he was right."
"What did he say?"
"A bunch of things..." she sighed, "all of it made perfect sense. You know, I never really thought about the reason I never told him about my past. I guess I just didn't expect things between us to get to a point where we shared that kind of thing with each other..." she snorted, "imagine that."
"Do you want to talk about it?" he questioned, giving her a 'I'm here for you' look.
But she didn't want to talk about it, "No... I need to move on from this. He was right... a clean break is better, it's easier. If I dwell on it to much things will just be hard." She looked up at him, "Dairy Queen sounds fun... I haven't been in awhile."
He nodded, understanding that she was using the trip as a way to keep her mind off of the things that had happened. She could argue that she was alright until the cows came home, but truthfully, she was hurt by Pete's leaving. Perhaps she would have been better had she broken up with him, but then again, she might have never done that... "You know what... we could go to a movie, too– if you're up for it?"
"I don't know about a movie," she replied, pushing herself off of the chair. "But, I'm sure we can figure something out. You have to drive, though... I just took some medication an hour ago and it says you can't 'operate heavy machinery' while on it..."
Daniel smiled lightly, "Sure."
Sam smiled at him, thankful that he hadn't started up another 'Tell Jack how you feel' conversation. Then again, he was smarter than to do so at such a time. She had a feeling, though, that within a few days she would hear it all again. Maybe she would be a bit more receptive of it then than she was before. Strange, how all of this was taking place in the same day... almost fate like. If such a thing even existed.
"I guess it's a good thing he never got that transfer," she mused as she carefully climbed into his CR-V.
He nodded, not knowing how to reply to that particular statement. "How's your leg doing?"
Simple change of subject, there was no way he could screw that up. "It hurts like hell... but the medication really takes the edge off of it, and the massive head-ache."
"Did you hurt your head?" he questioned. This was the first he was hearing of a head-injury.
She nodded, "Oh yeah... when I came crashing down the ramp. My arm, too."
"Did you tell Brightman?"
"Are you kidding?" she asked, chuckling slightly. "I'm not stupid, Daniel– of course I didn't tell her. She would have kept me there all week."
So, Sam wasn't as good a patient as everybody though. Interesting. "Is it really bad?"
"Not bad enough to make me worried," she reassured him. "I'll be fine after a few days, Daniel, don't worry about me."
Something told him that she wasn't talking about just the headache and stitched up leg. "Yeah... ok," he looked over at her as he turned on the car. "So... what kind of ice-cream do you want?"
A smile spread across her face, "How much are you willing to spend?"
"I don't know," he said with a shrug. "We'll figure it out when we get there."
She nodded, "Sounds good to me."
As he took off down the road he glanced over at her, thankful that Pete breaking up with her wasn't having a worse effect on her. Then again, if he had been right earlier then she hadn't really had that strong of feelings for him, so why would it bother her that much? And, he was pretty sure that his earlier musings had been right on the money. Obviously, Pete agreed.
XXXX
A/N: Well, I decided that I wouldn't make Pete a jerk, like I normally do :) I thought that him being civilized and realizing that she didn't really love him would be best. Anyway, I couldn't really have Jack and Sam be together right away, you know... there's the rank issue to get over first. It'll come though. I promise.
Anyway, let me know what you think!
Oh, and Happy Easter to those who celebrate the holiday!
