Order 23: Arrangements

By: SleepyNinja

Disclaimer: Don't own Hellsing and not making a dime. I'm not even making any pennies off of this whatsoever. The entire idea goes out to the creator of the show itself, not me.

A/N: A Christmas gift from me, to you. insert random whoring for review here

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The massive truck lumbered through the streets of London. The muffler and bumper were barely holding on holding on against the rest of the olive green truck and threatened to fall off every time the truck hit a bump.

"I think the engine is on fire." Jack said as he tried to see through the black smoke seeping out of bullet holes and sides of the hood.

"We're almost there." Seras said.

"Well it's kind of hard to drive when you can't see."

"It's just the next left. There it is." Seras pointed at the Hellsing mansion. "Home sweet home." The truck stopped in front of the back gate. Seras poked her head out of the window. "Senior officers Owens and Victoria returning." Moments later the Iron Gate opened and the truck rolled in to the Hellsing grounds.

"When'd we relocate?" Jack asked.

"A few months ago. Sir Integra was determined to return here." She opened her door. "Just park here."

The truck either stalled or the engine gave out, but it didn't really matter. Jack opened his door and hopped out. "Should we get our stuff now or later?"

"Later," Seras said as she walked past him toward the entrance. After opening the door she walked in. She lead Jack throughout hallways and doors of the soldier's barracks. Eventually she opened a side door to the main entrance.

They stepped into the enormous green room. Jack looked up at the grand stairway, door upon door lined in green and gold. He walked out on the massive green tile. "Holy crap," Jack muttered in disbelief. "We're living here?"

"Err…yes and no."

"Huh?"

"Yeah." She walked to the stairs, passed up the stairs headed up, and turned toward the stairs leading down. "We're down here." She walked down and opened the door at the bottom. The lavish decor was quickly replaced by dark green brick and uncovered light bulbs hanging on a single cord. "We're down here. Come on." She started her decent down the dark stairs. At the bottom she turned left and continued down the hallway. She stopped before a simple wooden door. "You're in here."

Jack cracked open the door. The room was still the same green brick, with indentations on the wall. Surprisingly, most of his stuff was set up the way he left it."I didn't know where to put some stuff so there's still some boxes hidden in the bathroom."

The couch, table, and TV were all set up perfectly, the computer and its desk on the corner to the right, and all his other nick knacks and furniture were there. He walked closer and ran his hands over the arm of the couch. Same as always. He smiled.

"That's not all." She led him back out into the hallway and further into the labyrinth of the Hellsing basement. "I didn't know if you still wanted all this stuff or not," Seras said as she opened the door, "so I put all of it in here." A stack of red brick and a beat up black punching bag stuck out against the green brick wall in the far corner.

Jack walked in and looked around. "This is were Walter taught you to use the wires isn't it?"

"How'd you know?"

Jack ran his fingers down the brick. "The walls all have small scratches in them."

"None of them are recent, I assure you."

Jack looked the room over again. "I guess an empty room could be good for a few things." He turned his head toward Seras, "You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"

"Probably." She shut the door behind her. "En garde Owens." She threw a few playful punches at him, which were dodged easily. Gradually the attacks became stronger, faster, more deliberate, and Jack twisted and turned to avoid each of them. Seras threw a kick at his midsection.

Jack smiled as his body was engulfed in shadow; he disappeared into a fine mist that covered the lower part of the room.

"So you haven't been slacking off after all."

"I assure you I was," his disembodied voice said. "I figured this out on accident." He reformed himself behind Seras, the mist disappearing as his body regained its form. He grabbed her right arm and tried to twist, until Seras twisted back. She grabbed Jack by the wrist and shot her arm forward. She let go midair and watched him fly forward and hit the wall.

He scrambled to his feet and assumed a fighting position. Shaking his head he tried to focus. That was unexpected, and painful. He ducked away from another one of Seras's punches and grabbed her leg from a kick. He tossed her backward and threw a roundhouse towards her. She blocked, just as planned. He jumped and pinned her neck with both of his legs. Holding himself up with both of his legs, he twisted and threw Seras to the floor.

She rolled over and jumped to her feet. That was new. She ran towards him and shoved her fist into his stomach. He stumbled backward and took out her legs with a slight extension of his foot. She scowled; he was just playing with her. She'd show him. She got back to her feet and threw a few punches at him. Jack moved her fist aside with a knife hand, grabbed it, stepped behind her while twisting.

Jack pushed one of Seras's feet out from under her and started pushing them both forward only to be met by a swarm of bats. He fell on his face and rolled onto his back in time to see Seras materialize on top of him. She gave a triumphant grin as she pinned both of his arms down.

Jack was struggling of course; she pressed his wrists down into the floor for more emphasis. "If you don't stop wiggling I'm going to have to make you." Jack smiled at the comment. She concentrated and began to see his thoughts. Oh no he wasn't. She shook him violently. "Not going to get yourself out of this by turning into mist. You might as well just give up," she grinned.

"Maybe." He redoubled his efforts and raised his arms off of the floor, not by much, but still off of the floor by a little. A little more and he could probably kick her off of him. He was making steady progress until Seras sank her fangs into his shoulder. His hands dropped as Seras lapped up the blood coming from the wound. He turned his head and watched her for a while before dropping his head to the floor and staring at the ceiling. "Cheater." He muttered.

"Me?" Seras said as she licked her lips. "I'm sorry, did I turn into mist?" She released her iron grip and rested comfortably on top of him."

"No, but you did turn into a bunch of bats."

"Only after you turned into mist."

"Well then you started feeding off me."

"Perfectly fair."

"Well, I don't know where you got that silly idea."

"You were thinking it too."

"Was not."

"Not exactly. You were going to go for my neck."

"Prove it."

"Well I can read your mind you know."

Jack said nothing for a while. "You're kidding right?"

"Nope." She placed her elbows on his chest and rested her head in her hands. "Oh don't take getting beaten so badly. If it's any condolence, you are delicious."

"I'm not taking it badly; you're just rubbing it in."

She batted her eyelashes. "Who? Me?"

"Yes you."

"Poor Jack." She muttered as she lowered her lips to his.

"Ahem." Walter said in the doorway. "I do hope I'm not interrupting anything."

Seras fell off of Jack from the sudden interruption. Jack for the most part remained motionless.

"Sir Integra would like to see Mr. Owens for a few moments."

"Sure." Jack pushed himself up and walked toward the doorway. He shot a last look at Seras, who in turn projected one word into his mind, "later".

He followed Walter up the stairs and towards Integra's office.
Jack opened the door slowly and looked in. Integra was behind her desk, a cigar smoldering on her ashtray. He sucked it up and went into the office.

"I trust you enjoyed your leave."

"It was…educational."

"Apparently you managed to behave yourself in Japan; however, I'm more concerned about what happened in Rome." She motioned to a folder on the edge of her desk. "Going into Rome, killing an entire squadron of Iscariot, plus a Anderson, putting countless innocent lives in danger, and going into Vatican City. It's a good thing that you've been considered AWOL or else Section XIII would declare another bloody crusade! That being said, am I to assume that there will be no more interruptions of this sort?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Good. Anything else you would like to add?"

"Yes ma'am."

"What?"

"On our way back we were ambushed. I found this on one of the FREAKS that were silenced." Jack reached into his pocket and placed the swastika on the edge of the desk.

"It will be looked into. Disciplinary measures will be taken in accord with your actions. It will be decided at a later time. Dismissed."

"Yes ma'am."

By the time Jack returned to his room he noticed he was visibly shaking. He half expected Integra to start breathing fire and to take his head off with her bare hands, but it sounded like he was only going to get a slap on the wrist. He went over to his couch and slumped back down into the seat.

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When Seras materialized inside the room, Jack was stretched out on his couch, and several empty blood bags were discarded on the coffee table. She walked over to the couch and looked down at Jack. Fast asleep. Or at least it looked that way until he grabbed her and dragged her on the couch with him.

"Cheater." She muttered, struggling against Jack's grip around her waist.

"You know," he murmured into her ear, "you have a pretty strong punch. But what you need to learn, is that all power from any attack comes from the hips."

"Is that so?"

"Mhmm. Oh, I had the weirdest dream on the way back from Italy."

"Holy crap you had one too!?"

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Walter looked over the Nazi symbol with a grim look. "It certainly seems that way."

"I thought you killed everyone involved." Integra said from behind her desk.

"Hopefully. I'll look into this and alert MI-5."

"Good. I want answers."

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PREVIEW:

Alucard: I frikken hate these things.

Integra: Welcome to the club.

Samuel L. Jackson: CLUB THIS MO' (CENSORED) -beats Alucard upside the head with a 9 iron-

Order 24: Knights of the Round

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A/N: Everyone else may be in the dark, but we sure know what's going on don't we?

A/N: The thing about all power coming from the hips is true. Twisting your hips can make the difference between breaking your hand or a brick.

A/N: Spelling problems will be fixed as soon as I finish all these damn cookiesI keep buying.