The cold shower:
Tuesday, 24th, month of falling leaves, year of rebirth
The next day I rushed to Haven city leaving my councilors in shock. I'm known for being rash but never like this. My heart was beating a hundred times per minute as the FL flyer set down in the port. I didn't wait the doors to open, I busted them open. The sound of my boots hitting, abusing the metal floor echoed through the docks for it was only dawn. I hadn't slept a bit the previous night. I was to busy thinking what will I say to Dax when I see him. Did I mention the fur ball decided he and Tess be turned to humans again? No? Okay, now you know.
As I rampaged through the Naughty Otssel door I woke him up.
'Dax? Where are you buddy? DAX? I need to tell you something really important!'
A couple of moments later I saw him staggering down the stairs, dressed in his bright red pajamas. Man did he look cute in those. Did I just say that? Yes, I did. It feels… good. It feels good to finally accept yourself for what you are and not what people tell you.
'You outta yer brains Jak! If you didn't know, NORMAL people have a habit of sleeping in 5.30 in the morning… Wtf!'
Before he could finish his sentence I grabbed him around his waist and kissed him. With every second passing I pulled him closer to me, felling his body gradually relax in my arms. Man this felt good. For the first time I felt my life had a purpose and it was to love him. His body went completely limp in my arms as he gave himself completely in my kiss. He kissed me back, gently, passionately in a way only he knows. The moment seemed to last for an eternity, or at least I wished it did.
I let him go first, breaking our kiss of pure obsession. Slowly I opened my eyes to see his face. A wide smile upon it, his eyes still closed as if he were dreaming something beautiful and didn't want to end it.
'Man Jak, that felt really good…'
He finally looked at me with his azure blue eyes, lids fluttering gently. I never noticed how beautiful his eyes were.
'Mmmm… that was really… good? What the fuck! Jak! You kissed me! How, what, where…'
Not the reaction one was hoping for. He tore himself further away from me.
'Dax, I… I'm… I love you.'
He stretched his eyes in surprise, mouth wide open, lips trying to form any kind of a word, anything at all.
'I love you with all my heart.'
His eyes filled with the gentlest emotion of them all, I knew, he loved me back. Still, after all these years, he loved me.
'Jak, I love you to…'
'Then move back to Spargus with me.'
He turned his head away from me.
'No.'
'What?'
'Jak, it's not that simple anymore.'
'What? I'm the same, you're the same, everything's the same…'
He looked back at me, angry, for still I was like a child. Not realizing that things never remain the same.
'IT'S NOT THE SAME! Why do you do this to me! Why do you torment me so? Why did you have to find it in your heart to love me, why NOW!'
'Dax, what are you talking about?'
'Open yer eyes Jak! You're the king now! You can't be running around screwing me! Besides, I've got a life know, one that isn't fucked up I might add!'
He turned his back on me. I saw him cross his arms. I could imagine his face, buck teeth sinking into his lip, until it starts to bleed.
'I'll quit being king. Sig'll take my place. We'll manage to do something. I know we will, we're a team remember?'
I walked to him and put my arm on his shoulder.
'There is nothing to do Jak, you can't run away from who you are…'
'I won't be running away. I'm the person who loves you.'
'No Jak, I can't live like this, not anymore. Hasn't it been enough? We both know you have to be the king, and a king can't have a… boyfriend.'
'I'm the king; I can do what ever I please!'
'Quit it Jak, it ain't gonna work!'
He walked up the stairs.
'It's over, what ever we could have had, is lost. Only our friendship remains. I'm sorry you haven't realized any of this sooner.'
'What? You ain't the type of person who gives up!'
'Well sorry to disappoint you, but people change. Take what I have to give you or…'
'Your friendship isn't enough.'
I saw him shudder in the dark.
sigh 'Then leave.'
'That's all you have to say! All of the years we've been friends and that is all you have to say!'
I stormed out of the bar and sat in front of it, leaning my back on the cold metal wall. The cold reminded me all of this was real, even when I hoped it to be a bad dream. I hoped I'll wake up in the morning and all would be fine. But I wasn't of that luck.
Somehow I knew he wouldn't come after me. I heard him cry, for hours.
