"I Miss Him Ya Know"

Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill

As soon as I stepped into my office my secretary Jane opened the door, "Haley, there a player in the training room, seems he fell while doing a slam dunk and fell on his knee." She informed me. "Do you know which player," I asked her? "No I'm sorry, I do know that he is a trade from another team, one of the new players." She replied. "Ok thank you, do you how bad it is" I asked her. My alarm did not go off the morning and Clark hadn't woken me up. I had just got into my office over an hour late and now I was needed in the training room. This was going to be a long day I thought to myself. "I'm not sure, but they were talking about bringing him in if you didn't show up." She replied. "Yeah I know I'm late, I replied taking off my jacket and heading out of my office towards the training room.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Scott, but you can call me Haley..." I said as I entered the room. I looked at the table where he was propped up on a couple pillows. His pants were pulled up on his left leg above the knee. "Haley?" He asked in disbelieve as I saw him. "Nate..." was all that managed to come out of my mouth. It couldn't be him I told myself. I had decided that I was going to find him today as soon as I could and talk to him but I wasn't ready yet. "I'm confused," was all that he said. "I ignored what he said and decided that I should take the professional route for now. "I was told you fell on your knee during practice." I told him walking over to where he lay. He knee looked pretty swollen and red, I reached and slightly touched his knee to see how bad it really was. He winced as I talked his leg. "It doesn't look broken I told him, just swollen. I am going to give you a prescription for the pain and a leg brace to wear for about a week. You'll need to ice it and take care of it. It will be very easy to re injure it." I informed him.

"Ok...what Haley what are you doing here?" he asked me. I stood of off my chair and just starting walking around the room a little. If I stayed busy maybe he would leave me alone I thought. "What do you mean Nathan? I'm the sports trainer, you got hurt so I checked it out for you." I replied. "You're the trainer?" he asked me. "Yes for about a year now.' I replied. "That's where you have been since you left? Here in New York?" he asked me. "Yeah I went to school at NYC."

"Haley I can't believe this, you take off years ago, I see you again and you're my trainer? You're acting like nothing happened, like you don't even know me!!!" He yelled. He was sitting up trying to pull his pants down over his knee; he winced as he did this. "Nathan don't stand up," I said sitting down on the stool. In front of the table where he sat. I grabbed the brace and started to put it on. I could tell it hurt but I was trying to be careful. "What do you care?" he said trying to push my hands away from his knee. "Nathan of course I care!" I yelled back. "That's why you left 7 years ago! Just a small note and picture?!?! Because you cared!!!" he screamed back.

Just then the door opened and I saw Clark standing there, he must have not notice how tense it was in the room. He walked over to me "Hey baby," he said before kissing me. I could tell Nathan was completely shocked by Clark's actions. I knew he had meet Clark before earlier today at practice. "So Scott is my favorite fiancé treating you right?" he asked with a smile. Right about now I thought Nathan's eyes were going to pop right out of their sockets. Nathan just stared at him not replying. "I'm being nice, now let me do my job," I said pushing him towards the doorway and kissing him before shutting the door behind him.

"Nathan I know what you must be thinking right now..." I said before he cut me off. "What I must be thinking?!?! Why don't I just tell you what I am thinking instead of you having to guess it!" He yelled at me. "I'm thinking that after 7 years of wondering what happened to my wife, I see her 7 years later at work and she is kissing her fiancé!!!!" he screamed. "Nathan..." "Don't Nathan me! Do you see a slight problem in this picture?" he asked me. "We're still married !!!" he yelled. "I know that Nathan," I replied my voice much calmer. "Is that why your last name is still Scott?" he asked me. His voice also back to normal. "Well yes and no, mainly because we were married and because I just couldn't change it, I wanted to but I could never get myself to do it." I replied. I felt ashamed of how he found out about me, and Clark all within moments of each other. "Nathan can we talk about this later?" I asked him. "I have so much paper work to do and other players to see." I added. "How do I know you won't leave?" he asked me sarcastically. "If you want we could go to my apartment." I replied. "Whatever Haley." He said starting to stand up. "Here," I said handing him crutches, "you need to use these for at least a week." I replied helping him stand up. "Fine, what time?" he asked me. "Come by around 7," I replied. And with that he left the room.

"Come in Nathan," I said as I opened the door, Nathan started walking in, well more of hopping in since he was on the crutches. "You know I will never forgive you for giving me these damn things." He said with a smirk on his face. After all these years that smirk still tugged on my heart, I thought to myself. "Sit down," I said gesturing towards the couches. "Wow, nice apartment," he said as he sat down. I sat down on the couch across from him; I thought it would be easier this way. "Yeah, Clark got it as a surprise for me when we moved in together." I replied. The smile that had been on his face slowly started to fade. "He lives here?" he asked looking around. "Yeah, but he's out with a couple of his friends tonight." I replied. "He doesn't know we know each other does he?" he asked me. "No." I replied. "I didn't want to mention anything yet, well one we got engaged I was going to but that was just a couple days before the draft and well then I just haven't found a way too, and a friend suggested talking to you first." I replied.

"I don't know how we are suppose to do this," he said honestly. "Neither do I," I replied. I was trying hard not to look at him, but I just couldn't help it. His eyes always caught my attention. I didn't know what else to do, I then decided there was only one way that we could talk with out yelling at each other. I quickly stood up and walked over to the hall closet where I had been going to every night since Clark's proposal. I pulled out the box that I had looked at so many times and headed back towards the couch.

I sat down next to him this time and sat the box on my lap. "Haley..." he started but his voice trailed off. "No Nathan, I think we need to do this." I replied. "We've needed to do this for a long time." I added. I slowly lifted the lid off of the box and set it on the other side of me. The first thing that lay in the box was the small blue blanket. Nathan slowly reached for it and took it out. He slowly looked t over as if he was trying to remember every inch of it. "I can't believe how small it looks now." He said. "I know," I replied. "And to think he was this small." He added.

I looked back in the box and pulled out a small frame that held a piece of paper instead of a picture. Nathan looked at the frame in my hand and smiled. "His birth certificate." He said. "April 6th 2006," I said by memory. He smiled and looked at me, I then flipped over the frame and pulled off the back taking out pictures that were behind it. He looked at me confused not knowing what I was doing. "Here," I said handing him the pictures one by one. He looked over each me, a smile growing even larger as he saw them. "But you said..." I cut him off. "I know I said that the place lost the rolls of film from his birth, but they didn't." I replied. "Then why did I never see them?" he asked me. "They called the day after it happened, it took all of my courage to go pick them up, I couldn't even open them tell after I left." I replied. "You looked gorgeous you know." He said with a smile, but the smile also looked sad. "Now how did I look gorgeous being fat and in labor?" I asked him sarcastically. "You were never fat Haley, and you always look gorgeous." He replied.

He noticed the book in the box and lifted it out. He opened it up and smiled. "What a unique way we did Prom." He said looking at the pictures. They were pictures from our senior Prom. Nathan flipped through until he noticed his favorite one. It was of us standing next to each with Michael in my arms with an outfit on that had a fake tux on it. The next picture was of all of us. Lucas and Brooke stood holding Cody, no older then 5 months at the time. Next to them stood Nathan and myself holding Michael. And next to us were Peyton and Jake. Jenny in Peyton's arms with a princess dress on. "Yeah we sure did, three couples and three kids." I said. "I miss him ya know," Nathan said shutting the album. "I know you do," I replied. "I do too." Tears were starting to form and I tried to hold them back, but it was no use. A tear slid down my cheek and Nathan wiped it away. "Haley you did nothing wrong." He said wrapping his arm around me trying to comfort me. I looked up at him, tears falling from my eyes. "I had to have done something wrong Nathan, because he's not here with us, now is he." I aid looking at him. "Haley, it just happened. You did what you could, we all did." He replied. "Ever since it happened I've been looking for answers," He added. "But every time I came up with the same answers. It just happens, it can't be predicted.

"Nathan but what if I had not taken a shower, maybe I would have noticed that he was in trouble." I replied. "Haley they say nothing could have been done. That's why they call it Sudden Infant Death Syndrome." He added. "But we'll never forget him Haley. Never." "Every year on his birthday I send Karen a letter for her to put on his grave for me, I've wanted to go back and do it myself but I just couldn't." I replied. "Those were from you?" He asked me." "You saw them?" "Every year I go and just sit and talk to him, and every year there is always a letter addressed to Baby Michael, but I've never opened them. I just leave it." He replied. "Do you think he's in a better place?" I asked wiping my eyes. "Yeah, he's watching down on us, I like to think he is with Peyton's mom watching him for us." Nathan replied. "Yeah that's what I like to think as well."

"So Clark doesn't know about Michael either then right?" he asked. "No, I never told him." I replied. I sat up now, feeling weird to be lying against Nathan. "Haley what happened?" he asked me. "I don't know Nathan. I just don't know." I replied. "You just don't know why you left?" he asked me. "Nathan I was scared. I was only 17 and I was married and had just lost my son." I replied. Fresh tears staining my cheek. "Haley I was only 17, and I lost him too." He replied. "After he died I felt scared, scared that we couldn't handle a marriage. Scared that you would be upset with me. Scarred that we would fall apart. I figured this way it ended still in one piece." I explained. "Haley I was scarred to but I knew we would be ok. We loved each other. Even thought Michael was a surprise and his death was sudden I knew we could handle it since we loved each other." "But what if we hadn't? What if I had stayed and we just fought. I didn't want to blame a failed marriage on Michael." I replied. "I didn't want to either Haley, that's why I wanted to talk, work things out. I didn't even know you wanted out until you were gone." He added. "I didn't want out." I replied. "I just wanted to get away, where no one knew what had happened. To deal with his death alone." I replied. "But Haley we could have together." He replied. "But you left." He added. He seemed to be calm but sad at the same time. "Haley I better go." He said standing up. "Nathan I'll see you at practice tomorrow." I said hugging him and giving him a small kiss on the check. "Good night Hales." He said as he shut the door.

Here is the link where I found information about SID's (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) ...

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Tardychick06