'Love vanquishes time. To lovers, a moment can be an eternity, eternity can be the tick of a clock.' -me
Not mine
Sanzo/Goku
Sanzo's POV
I look at the clock.
Five minutes past eleven.
I've been told to wait but already the waiting is hard. I don't get to see him as he was pushed behind the curtain and they wouldn't let me follow. Wait in the lobby they'd said, have some tea they'd said, but I couldn't drink. Not now. Not when everything that had ever meant anything to me was lying in a bed, in critical condition, fighting for his life in the hands of people who didn't even know for sure what was wrong.
I wonder how it had all come down to this. If all those months… years, of training had been in vain. I always thought I be prepared for this, but sitting here now, just… waiting… I know I'm not.
The clock is annoyingly loud in the silence, and it seemed to get louder with every tick. I look for distraction but I don't think I can bring myself to read the words written in those magazines. I think of him, of how little time we've spent together and of how quickly this war had snuck up on us. It seemed that only last week we had shared our first kiss, and yet I know that that first tender moment had been shared nearly a year ago in an alleyway behind a bar.
Funny thing that. Time.
It's all relative, I know this. For if I'm honest with myself, I know that I've spent more time alone with him than anyone other person I've ever known. I've laughed with him, I've cried with him, I've taken the time to understand him, so why does it not feel long enough? Where did the time go?
I replay every treasured moment, because they are my distractions. I remember our first kiss, the first time we had sex, the moment I realized I was in love, the moment goku had told me he felt the same. When being intimate with him suddenly stopped being 'sex' and became 'making love.' The first time he cried in my arms, the first time I had needed to cry in his.
I remember them all so clearly and yet I don't know how I managed to make so many.
Time flies.
But now time stands still. The clock is still ticking but I don't dare look up at it, time is my enemy now.
Tick after tock after tick after tock… and it goes on, hammering at the side of my head, beating in time with my pulse and it feels like someone is trying to fight their way out of my scull with a sledge hammer. I replay those memories and I keep replaying them, until I lose track of which ones are real and which ones I'm making up to pass the time.
The time.
It's moving so slowly and I wish someone would tell me something soon. I don't know for certain, but I'm pretty sure you've been sitting here for over an hour now and my chest hurts.
A noise from the far end of the corridor stirs me and I look up. I watch as Hakkai makes his way towards me and I use my heartbeat to count the seconds.
It's not until he reaches me that I realize my heart is pounding against my ribcage so rapidly that I feel it will burst through my chest.
The silence lasts a lifetime and I'm about to check the clock before he speaks.
"I'm sorry Sanzo. There was nothing they could do."
I look at the clock.
Ten minutes past eleven.
I want my time back.
