Hello, little organisms! It's me, Xi. The crazy bastard who killed Lard Nar and all those little aliens you love!

Dodges tomato

Anyway, I've a new story for you which might be as long as the first! Yay! Now for the boring stuff. I own none of the characters in this story but the few which I shall add for plot. Other than that, Jhonen theoretically owns this. Let's call this a prologue, Kay? Okay. We begin!

Chapter 1: In control of a partially fixed machine.

The car putted down the road, turbid with rust and blood, though the two were so alike in hue, that it was hard to tell. Johnny C. was in this car, a calm look on his face. In his left hand was a cherry Brainfreezy, and in the other was the steering wheel. In his back seat were numerous things; a few large boxes wrapped in shiny black with red and white bows, an unwrapped box the size of a small door, and a smaller box wrapped in white with a blue bow, about the size of a deck of cards. He pulled into his driveway, which he almost didn't recognize at first glance. The grass was thick and almost black. The windows were gray with dust. On his roof was a murder of crows, all staring at the young man. He stared back. Needless to say, they were gone in an instant. He stepped out of the car, carrying the unwieldy load of gifts. After fumbling with the keys, he managed to open the door, setting the packages on the table. Reverend MEAT smiled, his blank eyes shining in the dusty light of the forgotten shack.

"Johnny my boy, you've come back! I'd assumed you were dead, but none the less, I'm happy to see you!", He smiled deceivingly. Johnny knew, though, that there was evil behind those blank, white eyes. Pure evil.

"Yes, MEAT, I've returned. And I have a gift for you!", He grinned, grinning a grin more grim that the grimy meat doll had given. He took one of the boxes, and unwrapped it. Inside, he pulled out a yellow box, a stick of dynamite, and a silver cord. He grabbed the Bub's burger toy and looped the box and dynamite around it's waist.

"Wait, Johnny, you can't do this!", Meat flailed, a mere child in Johnny's hands. He said nothing, walking out of the house and placing the toy on the pavement. He walked in and got a detonator, grinning insanely.

"Bye-bye, meaty! SEE YOU IN HELL!", he screamed, pushing the button.

KABOOM!

What remained was nothing more than a crater on the ground, the remains of the doll reduced to mere atoms. He smiled, and walked back in. He sniffed the air.

"Ugh…I should have cleaned the basement before I left. It's probably full of corpses by now. Well, later. Now, I've some things to do.", he muttered, grabbing the other black boxes and heading over to his old neighbors' house.

Squee had changed substantially over the last three years. He had stood up to his father one year after Johnny left. His father, who now needed the use of a cane, respected his son and never spoke out of turn. Along with this, he had forced his mother into rehabilitation. Now she actually remembered the fact that she had a son. But apropos to nothing, Squee himself had changed in appearance as well as attitude. His usual wardrobe was of a purple T-shirt over a gray long sleeve. His hair, he had dyed orange, and had black jeans. Along with this, he wore glasses now, which made him look very much like a certain author of a certain comic…But I digress. At the moment, he was talking to Shmee and sketching his beloved bear.

"Could you smile a bit wider, Shmee? Great.", He muttered, his pencil dashing across the paper. Shmee was thoroughly enjoying the attention, as he posed, holding a kitchen knife and feigning a demonic grin. This of course, wasn't very difficult. But I digress, this happiness was interrupted by the person at the window.

"HI, SQUEE!" Johnny screamed, leaping into the room. Squee yelped and fell off the bed, his paper floating through the air. He got up, staring incredulously at the sight before him.

"Johnny…? Is it really you?", He asked simply, staring. Johnny looked at himself.

"I think so…my underwear haven't been wrong yet…" He laughed, making Squee snicker a bit.

"Where'd you go? I thought you'd died!" He exclaimed, catching his drawing. Johnny sighed.

"I can't tell you that today. But I do have something for you.", He said, reaching out the window and grabbing the presents. He placed them in front of Squee gasped. Johnny smiled.

"I know you haven't really had a proper birthday, but since I didn't know when it was, I just guessed."

"Well, you're off by a few…months. But thanks.", He admitted.

"Well, open them!" Johnny encouraged, gesturing to the boxes. Squee took a small one and shook it, hearing the object shake. He ripped the paper off and opened the box, revealing to his delight, a spy glass.

"Hey, this'll be perfect for looking into the girls dorm-uh, I mean thanks.", He said quickly, blushing slightly. He opened the next one, which was a small book entitled 'Art etc. for dummies'. This too, delighted the young teen. The third and forth gift's were a combo gift; the first being a long knife, the second being a blow gun complete with 2-dozen poison darts. To Johnny's surprise, he grinned madly when he found these gifts.

"I am going to have fun with those cheerleader's this week…", he grinned, twirling the knife as if a baton. Johnny was thunderstruck. Innocent little Squeegee?

"You haven't-"

"About 200 so far. Mostly asses who pick on me.", He said calmly. Johnny stepped to the window, trying to fathom this development.

"I, uh, will see you later. I have…something to do.", He said distractedly. He climbed down, desperately trying to comprehend the situation.

'Squee, the little kid I protected, a maniac like me? No, it isn't my fault. It's that damned bear…that stupid, evil thing…' he reasoned, stepping into his car. He had one more stop.

Devi sighed. She was home, painting a new idea that had entered her mind earlier that day. It resembled a bagel eating a large poodle at the moment. She heard the window open in her bathroom. She leapt for her pepper spray once she saw Johnny walk in with his hand behind his back.

"Stay back! I have mace!", She warned. He placed his hands in the air, showing the box and nothing else.

"It's okay, Devi. I'm not armed.", He said, pulling his pockets out. He did however pull a knife from his ankle.

SPRRRTZ!

"AAAHHHHGG! IT BURNS!", Johnny shrieked, falling to the floor and clutching his face. "I WAS GIVING IT TO YOU DEVI!", he explained, rolling on the floor. After recovering, he held it at her, holding it by the blade. She reluctantly took it.

"There. Now you have a weapon and I don't. Happy?" He said, maintaining a safe distance after rolling to the side.. She nodded, holding the knife and mace.

"Why'd you come back?" She demanded, keeping her eyes on him. He looked at her.

"I left to become cold, emotionless, I felt a mere shell of a human being. I wished to flush out the excess humanity in my system. I failed.", He said simply. "I wanted to apologize. You might not except it, but it's the best I could do."

He held out the small box, handing it to Devi. She took it, not knowing what to expect. She pried open the box and gasped, dropping the knife and mace. Inside the box was a golden ring, topped with three different stones; ruby, emerald, and sapphire. She looked at him.

"I-I don't know what to say…"

"Just say you forgive me. I'll never come here again.", He pleaded, a cold look in his face. She looked at the ring, and smiled.

"I'll forgive you, but I want something else."

"What? Name it, it's yours.", He said quickly. She placed her hand on his shoulder.

"I…want you back in my life.", She whispered, kissing Johnny on the cheek. He gasped.

"I should have seen it. I was just to blinded by fear and anger to forgive. I should be asking you to forgive me.", She sighed, embracing the young person. For the first time in Johnny's life, he felt the warm feeling of contentment that so many of us take for granted. He smiled softly, returning the gesture and welcoming the embrace. They kissed once more, and Johnny left, happy at last.

Johnny walked into his little house, smiling and humming a merry tune.

"Why, hello Johnny!"

Johnny turned at the source of the sound, which was near the sink. A man, clad in a white leisure suit, vermilion hair topping his head, was munching on a candy cane. Johnny scowled, his usual pessimism returning like a bad rash.

"Who are you and what are you doing in my house!", He demanded, drawing a knife from the wall. The man smiled.

"I'm from heaven. We see that you have regained almost all your sanity, so we have a surprise.", He explained, drawing a paper from the air. He read:

'By the order of Genesis, third degree, I hereby relinquish your duties as a waste lock, and decree that you are now made honorary angel of death. I also declare that Senor Diablo cannot in any way shape or form, interfere with your life, lest you renounce sanity and are made slave once more. So it is written, so shall it be.'

He finished, the paper rolling up and exploding in the air. He waved his hand and a robe and scythe formed in front of Johnny.

"Here's your materials. I am aware of your skills with bladed weaponry, but this is different. You are to reap the souls of the damned and give passage to those worthy of heaven's grace. Understood?", He asked. Johnny nodded mutely. The boy winked, and began to fade.

"We'll be seeing you…"

Johnny blinked. Then he sighed.

"I hate Mondays…"

A/N: Wasn't that fun? Well, I'll be writing more if some people review. If not, IT SHALL REMAIN UNFINISHED FOREVER MORE! BWAHAHAHA!

…Ahem. Review please.