Another review in one day, well I'll be. For that, you get another chapter. Jhonen escaped, so yeah. Now to the next chapter.
Chapter 3: I like 3 Musketeers…
Johnny blinked, looking around. He was in a hospital. More importantly, he looked at the person he had to kill.
"Pope John Paul the second? Well, I guess he's had a good run. I wonder if they have fizz-wizz in the vending machines…", he mused, looking for his holiness' room. He found it easily, as it was the biggest. He stepped in, seeing that John Paul was watching football.
"Whoo! Go Lakers! Yeah!", he cheered, munching some Senor Spicy brand chips. He looked at Johnny, or should I say Johnny's scythe.
"Are you the angel of death who has come for me?" he said in a pitiable old man voice.
"Um…yes."
"Cannot an old man have one request?"
"Um…no.", Johnny stated, swishing his blade. The old man screamed, and vanished. As did he, appearing in a new local. It was a highway in southern California, and numerous cheerleaders were leaping out of a flaming bus, which read 'Cheer or die'. Johnny grinned as if it were Christmas and Santa had given him a flaming bus of cheerleaders himself.
"DIE, SPAWN OF SENOR DIABLO!" He rushed over, best he could with the robe, and began laughing demonically, slashing cheerleaders left and right. To his joy, every one of them were on the list. About twenty slashes later, he giggled, leaping in blissful contentment. The scenery changed again, a familiar surrounding. But not a happy one. Squee's house. He was relieved, however, that Squee would not be dying today; a young man however would. He walked down into the basement, knowing the way from previous visits, and was half startled and half impressed at the site before him. Squee, with his new knife in hand, was ranting at a boy who was secured in what was no doubtedly home made. It was mostly wooden, with the man positioned eagle position face up. Above him was what seemed to be a massive cheese grater made by normal ones welded together. A unique device indeed. Squee was nearing the end of his rant when Johnny walked over, invisible to both.
"AND I JUST WANTED A CANDY BAR! YOU WOULDN'T LET ME HAVE THE SIMPLE BLISS WHAT IS THE SUGARY GENIUS OF THE 3 MUSKETEERS BAR! YOU WILL PAY FOR MY STOLEN JOY!", he shrieked in a manic rage, pulling a lever. The oversized kitchen implement began to rock swiftly back and forth, like a pendulum on fast forward. It lowered slowly, the man screaming in terror and struggling at the bonds. Before the grater reached him, a horizontal buzz saw started to stretch forward towards his crotch. He looked down and screamed as his…happy place…was quite bluntly, sliced off. He sobbed miserably, but screamed in agony as the novelty like device did its work, grinding him down. Johnny sliced the man, his scythe passing through the machine. He shook his head as the scenery faded. You just don't do that to a man, he thought.
The fake Devi sighed, waiting in Johnny's house with a .44 Magnum in hand. He had the annoying burden of putting on his disguise again, which was embarrassing enough as it was, despite the fact that he, disturbingly, found that he enjoyed wearing women's undergarments. Very icky, yes? But I digress, he stopped his disturbing chain of thoughts when he heard voices coming from the other room.
'AND IT'S YOUR FAULT FOR US BEING NAILED TO THIS WALL, D-BOY! A FEW MORE DAYS AND I WOULD HAVE BEEN REAL, BUT NO! I HAD TO END UP STUCK TO THE BACK ROOM WALL WITH YOU FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY!'
'Or until someone takes us down, Eff.', D-boy said calmly. Eff redoubled his ranting, but stopped when he saw the Devi-esque person staring at them.
"Um, excuse me, but who and what are you two?"
Devi rolled over on the floor, trying to stand up. For her first attempt, she ended up hitting her head on the sink, and receiving a very large bump on the head for her troubles. On the second time, however, she was able to get up. She hopped over to the door, which was gratefully unlocked. After a few minutes of fumbling with the door knob, which was rather difficult to open with her hands bound, it swung open, Tenna holding the other side of the door and looking rather confused.
"Hey, Devi, how come you're all tied up?"
"Mmf muf ffth mm mm!", she mumbled. Tenna, rather quickly, took the sock out of Devi's mouth. She coughed, and began to speak coherently.
"I've been held hostage by this freak who's out to kill Johnny-"
"Your ex?" Tenna asked curiously.
"Yes, the guy who tried to kill me. Anyhow, he's kept me here for the past week, and apparently, Johnny came back and now he's at his house waiting to kill him!" she finished. Tenna squeaked Spooky and put the sock back in Devi's mouth, who then fell over.
"Okay, just wondering!", she smiled, closing the door and walking out.
Devi groaned, closing her eyes and banging her head against the floor.
'Why me?'
Johnny reappeared in his house, the robe and scythe vanishing and his usual attire taking place. He sighed tiredly, but perking his ears up at the sound of two familiar voices.
'Who are you, I'd like to ask!', demanded Eff.
'I'd like to know too, you nosy fucker!', added D-boy.
Just at that moment, Johnny dashed into the room, being greeted by what appeared to be Devi. He took off his wig and raised the gun, smiling.
"This is for Jimmy…", he hissed, and fired. Johnny fell to the floor, blood oozing from his chest wound, a pair of blank eyes gazing to the ceiling from his face.
A/N: Yes! Yet ANOTHER cliffhanger! Review, my puppets! Review! I laugh maniacally! BWAHAHAHAHA!
