"Explaining Myself"
"Thanks for letting me come over Clark." I say as I give him a hug and walk into the apartment. "Well I thought maybe I should hear you out." he replied after he shut the door and started walking over to where I was sitting on the couch. "You know when I asked you to leave I didn't think you would, at least not that day. You could have stayed long enough to find a place Haley." he told me. "I know but I needed to leave." I replied. "Where are you staying?" he asked. "I'm staying at Nathan's" I replied. "We had to watch our friends four kids for the past two weeks because of a family emergency in LA. They just left yesterday actually, it's weird not having 4 girls under the age of 8 running around." I said smiling at the time Nathan and I had with the girls. "Oh" he replied.
"But Clark that's not what I came to talk to you about. I need to explain what happened, and why I never told you." I replied. "I hate that I lied to you, I I hate that it took an article in the paper for me to finally tell you. I was going to, you have to believe me that I was going to tell you." I explained. "I believe that you were going to tell me haley but I just don't know when you would have told me." he replied.
"You have every right to think that Clark, I mean I'm the one who made the mistake. But I need to show you a couple things for you to understand why I didn't tell you." I pick up the box that I brought with me and set in between Clark and I on the couch.
I took off the lid and set it down on the ground, slowly examining the contents of the box. No matter how many times I looked through the box I couldn't get use to see all of it again. "Remember those pictures you saw on my desks? The ones you asked about?" I ask. "Yeah of you from high school. What about them?" he asks. "What I told you wasn't true Clark, about me and Nathan. In that picture Nathan and I weren't dating, we were married by then. We had been married over a year by the time prom came around. We had gotten married a couple months before prom our junior year. " I take in a deep breath, trying to gather my thoughts about how I want to finish explaining my past.
"The little boy you saw me holding, Michael. Well his name was Michael James Scott. He was about two weeks old in the picture taken the night of Prom. He died suddenly 2 weeks later after he was put down for his nap." I stop and look at Clark. He didn't really have any form of reaction on his face. I couldn't tell if he had connected all of the dots yet, but I knew he would. "He wasn't Nathan's son Clark. He was our son. I became pregnant in July before my senior year. I had him April 6th 2006." "Haley you had a son? Why didn't you tell me? I mean I would have been there for you Haley, I would have helped you with anything you needed. His birthdays, anything. You didn't have to keep it hidden from me all these years." he replied.
"But you don't understand Clark, I did have to keep it a secret. If I would have told you about Michael I would have had to tell you about Nathan, and even more then not being able to tell you about Michael I knew I couldn't talk about Nathan. Not just to you Clark to anyone." I looked into the box and pulled out Michael's baby blanket and ran my fingers over his name that had been embroidered all those years ago. "What happened Haley that made you leave? I mean if you and Nathan got married in your junior year of high school then you had to have had something pretty special." he said. He looked at me, I could tell he was trying to understand and taking in everything that I was telling him but I don't think he really knew how painful it was to have lost a child. The only person that really understood how I felt was Nathan.
"We did, we truely loved each other Clark but with Michael it just made us into a family. Even though we were only 17 years old when we had him we it made our marriage real you know. We were together and had a reason that everyone could see. Then after only a month he was taken from us. No one should ever have to deal with the loss of a child. It is the worst thing to ever have to go through. But on top of a new marriage and still being in high school. I feared we just couldn't take it. So the night of graduation I left. I packed all of my belongings and moved to NY. I was lucky enough to ave been accepted. Nathan never even knew I had applied so it was the perfect place to go. I knew he would never come looking fo me there. And I knew I could have the fresh start that I wanted and needed."
"So you mean you just left? You didn't tell anyone?" he asked. "Yeah basically, I mean I left him a note but that's it. Nothing more. Then when I came here I just studied I did anything to take me mind off of Nathan and away from Tree Hill. Then once I started working I met you and you did that. You helped me forget. But then once we started getting serious I knew if I told you I wouldn't be able to just keep on forgetting Nathan. Then everything just hit the fan once you proposed. Nathan's mom contacted me, Nathan and Lucas were traded, you met Nathan, I saw him again. I mean everything. Nathan and I were planing on a divorce Clark, we are planning on a divorce. We just haven't done it yet. There's nothing more to it then that."
"Haley then if that's true, I don't care. I mean I care that you have a past and I expect that but I don't want to lose you. I want to be with you. Spend the rest of my life with you. I don't care about what happened. I know it had to have been tearing you up in side deciding what to and lying was the easiest thing to do. And I get that, but I still want you. I still want to wake up with you every morning. And to have kids. To call you my wife. I want all of that Haley." He got up and took a small black box out of his pocket. He then opened it up and took out the ring. "Haley please will you marry me?" he asked kneeling in front of me.
Ok so yet another little cliffhanger for you. Yeah it's the fourth update in one day but I feel so bad about not posting in forever and the juices really are flowing. I don't think I will be able to get out any more tonight, and believe me I want to. It's just that it's past midnight and my mom has already let me on the computer an hour past the time it is to be turned off so I don't want to push my luck any more then I already have. One more chapter left, but it's a two-parter and hopefully they will be the longest chapters but then again I was hoping this would be a long chapter.
Read and Review
Tardychick06
