I don't own Inuyasha or Beauty and the Beast.  I hope you like this chapter.  I had a hard time deciding to keep the song.

KOUGA: Who does she think she is? That girl has tangled with the wrong man. No one says 'no' to Kouga!

GINTA: Darn right!

KOUGA: Dismissed. Rejected. Publicly humiliated. Why, it's more than I can bear. (turns chair away)

GINTA: (Runs in front of him) More beer?

KOUGA: (Turns chair away again) What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced.

GINTA: Who, you? Never. Kouga, you've got to pull yourself together. Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Kouga, looking so down in the dumps. Every guy here'd love to be you, Kouga (cheering from the gallery) Even when taking your lumps. There's no man in town as admired as you, you're everyone's favorite guy. Everyone's awed and inspired by you, (Ginta turns chair back to forward) and it's not very hard to see why! No one's slick as Kouga, no one's quick as Kouga, no one's next as incredibly thick as Kouga.  For there's no man in town half as manly perfect, a pure paragon! You can ask any Aki, Haru, or Takeji, and they'll tell you who's team they'd prefer to be on! (Ginta has pulled a man's belt off, whose pants fall to the ground. Ginta jumps up and wraps the belt around Kouga's neck, who flexes and breaks it off. Ginta continues to dance around. The Comrades pick him up and swing him around.)

THE COMRADES: No one's been like Kouga, a king-pin like Kouga

GINTA: No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Kouga

KOUGA: As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!

THE COMRADES: My, what a guy that Kouga! (The Comrades swing Ginta back and forth into the camera. Ginta tickles Kouga's chin, who stands with pride)

THE COMRADES: Give five hurrahs, give twelve hip-hips

GINTA: Kouga is the best and the rest is all drips! (Ginta swings up his arm in dance and throws a mug of beer in Kouga's face, who socks Ginta in the face)

ALL: No one fights like Kouga, no one bites like Kouga

WRESTLER: In a wrestling match, nobody bites like Kouga

TRIPLETS: For there's no one as burly and brawny

KOUGA: As you see I've got biceps to spare

GINTA: Not a bit of him scraggly or scrawny

KOUGA: That's right! And every last bit of me's covered with hair! (Kouga fights with the men, then lifts a bench with the Triplets on it. He drops the bench on Ginta, then turns to the camera and reveals his hairy chest.)

THE COMRADES: No one hits like Kouga, matches wits like Kouga

GINTA: In a spitting match, nobody spits like Kouga!

KOUGA: I'm especially good at expectorating! Ptooey!

ALL: Ten points for Kouga! (Kouga plays a chess game with a man, then hits the board, sending it and pieces all over. He takes a bite of leather from the belt once wrapped around his neck, chews it and spits it into a spittoon, which falls and gets stuck on the head of Ginta.)

KOUGA: When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs Every morning to help me get large! And now that I'm grown, I eat five dozen eggs So I'm roughly the size of a barge! (Kouga juggles a number of eggs, then swallows them whole. Ginta attempts the trick, and is hit in the face by three eggs.)

ALL: No one shoots like Kouga, makes those beauts like Kouga

GINTA: Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Kouga

KOUGA: I use antlers in all of my decorating! (Kouga takes three shots at a beer barrel, which begins leaking into the mugs of onlookers. He returns stomping to his chair, where we see the fireplace surrounded by the heads of the animals he has killed.)

ALL: My what a guy! Kouga!!!!!!!

(The Comrades have picked up the chair and carry Kouga around in it. Ginta tries to flee, but they toss the chair into its normal place, and Ginta is pinned underneath. Jii-chan bursts in frantically)

JII-CHAN: Help! Someone help me!

OLD MAN: Jii-chan?

JII-CHAN: Please! Please, I need your help! He's got her. He's got her locked in the dungeon.

GINTA: Who?

JII-CHAN: Kagome. We must go. Not a minute to lose!

KOUGA: Whoa! Slow down, Jii-chan. Who's got Kagome locked in a dungeon?

JII-CHAN: A beast! A horrible, monstrous beast! (Jii-chan has gone from person to person, pleading his case, until he is thrown at the feet of Kouga. A moment of silence, then The Comrades begin to laugh and mock him.)

COMRADE 1: Is it a big beast?

JII-CHAN: Huge!

COMRADE 2:  With a long, ugly snout?

JII-CHAN: Hideously ugly!

COMRADE 3: And sharp, cruel fangs?

JII-CHAN: Yes, yes. Will you help me?

KOUGA: All right, old man. We'll help you out.

JII-CHAN: You will? Oh thank you, thank you! (The Comrades pick up Jii-chan and help him out by throwing him through the door.)

COMRADE 1: Crazy old Jii-chan. He's always good for a laugh!

KOUGA: (Very pensive) Crazy old Jii-chan, hmm? Crazy old Jii-chan. Hmmm? Ginta, I'm afraid I've been thinking. (Ginta is still under the chair.)

GINTA: A dangerous pastime—

KOUGA: (finishing line) I know, but that wacky old coot is Kagome's father and his sanity's only so-so. Now the wheels in my head have been turning, since I looked at that loony old man. See I promised myself I'd be married to Kagome, and right now I'm evolving a plan! (Kouga picks Ginta out from under the chair and holds his head close, and whispers)

KOUGA: If I...(whisper)

GINTA: Yes?

KOUGA: Then I...(whisper)

GINTA: No, would she?

KOUGA: (whispering)...GUESS!

GINTA: Now I get it!

BOTH: Let's go!

BOTH: No one plots like Kouga, takes cheap shots like Kouga

GINTA: Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Kouga

ALL: So his marriage we soon'll be celebrating! My what a guy, Kouga!!!

(Camera zooms out through window to snow covered square, empty except for Jii-chan)

JII-CHAN: (to no one in particular) Will no one help me?

Next chapter up soon.