Behind These Eyes Chapter 5-Nothing Left To Lose


Look at me now
Just sittin here by myself
And I think you found someone else
Now I'm gonna have to find
A way to put the bottle down
And why can't you see
That I'm drowning in a pool of misery

"Emma and Sean?" Darcy said when we arrived in Simpson's class.

"Yep. Sean's back from Wasaga, and Emma, well she just can't get her hands off of him." I said.

"Oh god. Do they have a history or something?" Darcy asked.

"History, oh they have more than history. They hooked up in 7th grade when Sean moved here, and it's been on and off ever since. And now it looks like it's on again." I said.

"Are you jealous?" Darcy said.

"Emma and Sean? No…I'm just surprised they're still not over each other. It's been like 3 years since they last hooked up." I said.

"Guess true love never dies." Darcy said.

"If that's what you call it, then I guess. But to everyone here, it's more like an annoyance. You never know what's next with them." I said.

"Darcy, JT, I think you know the rules. Quiet, please. Same with you two Emma and Sean." Mr. Simpson said.


After School:

Darcy and I were hanging out at my locker, while I tried desperately to get my danged skateboard out of my locker. Our thin metal lockers were hard to fit stuff in. I could barely manage to cram my backpack in there.

"Your favorite twosome is coming." Darcy said.

Sure enough, there they were, laughing. Don't get me wrong, I'm not jealous. It's just weird how Emma's a magnet to Sean now, after 3 years. I wonder what happened.

"Hey JT, Darcy." Emma said.

"Uh hey… What's up Sean, whatcha doing here at Degrassi?" I said.

"School at Wasaga sucked, so I thought I'd come back here." Sean said.

"Isn't that great?" Emma said.

"Well, me and JT have to move along. You two have fun getting re-acquainted." Darcy said.

Emma and Sean left as Manny walked down the hall and shot a glare at me. Ever since yesterday, she hasn't talked to me or anything. I really have no idea what her problem is.


At JT's house later on:

I knew I had to call Emma. I had to tell her that I rejected Manny…and plus, I had a few questions about Sean.

So I picked up the phone and dialed very slowly. At first no one picked up, but I heard some crying in the background when Emma picked up.

"Hey, it's JT." I said.

"Oh hey, what's up? Sorry about today…I just wanted to talk to Sean." Emma said.

"Yeah…I could tell. You miss him?" I said.

"Sort of. He saved me life, so I feel like I owe him something, you know?" Emma

said.

"You're not interested in him?" I said.

"No, he's more like a friend." Emma said

"Ok cool. Hey listen, I've wanted to tell you something." I said.

"Yeah?" Emma said.

"I rejected Manny, after she asked me out again." I said.

"Ok, cool. I wouldn't care either way, you know. Although Manny and I aren't on the best of terms, it shouldn't affect anything with you and Manny." Emma said.

"It wasn't that, I don't like Manny that way anyway. She's just a little flashy." I said.

"So, you won't believe who I talked to today." Emma said.

"Who?" I said.

"Liberty. I don't know why she wanted to talk, but she said she wanted to straighten some things out with you." Emma said.

"Um, oook. I guess so." I said.

I said I had to go and hung up the phone. I wonder why Liberty would want to talk to me, since she was the one who broke up with me. She'd definitely have to do a lot to get me to forgive her.


At School the next day:

"Emma said you wanted to talk." I said.

Liberty looked and me and patted the chair. I sat down, waiting for what she would say.

"Let's just be friends, ok." Liberty said.

"Liberty, please. I'm not going to be your friend to just be your friend." I said.

"No really…I don't like all this tension between us." Liberty said.

"I guess we could." I said.

"Great, thanks JT." Liberty said.

Ok, really odd. Maybe Liberty meant it, maybe she didn't. But it sounded like she truly wanted to be friends.

Later on, I went to Emma's house to talk to her about my encounter with Liberty. I rung her doorbell once, no answer. Twice, no answer again. I pushed the door and it gently opened just a crack. After pushing it, it fully opened.

No one was to be seen. The house was empty it seemed, with an array of clothes left on the floor and empty glasses on the tables. I went upstairs, and ever so slightly knocked on the door. No answer. So, assuming no one was in there, I opened the door to see Emma and Sean making out.

"Uh…" I said.

They stopped after seeing me, Sean's lips glossy from Emma's lip-gloss, and Sean with only his pants on.

"I can explain!" Emma said.

I walked out of the room and outside. I can't believe Emma didn't tell me she was into Sean, I would think by now she'd trust me. She's never lied to me before…

"He saved my life, so I felt I owed him."

"You're not interested in him?"

"No, he's more like a friend."

She never bothered to mention the "friends with benefits" part of it. Wonders what kind of explanation Emma would come up with.

Emma came outside, her sweatshirt back on and makeup re-applied.

"It's not what it looked like, Sean came back with me after school, and it just sort of happened." Emma said.

"Emma, you obviously have feelings for him. Why did you lie?" I said.

"Why would you care? And I didn't lie to you, I don't have feelings for Sean. He just kissed me!" Emma said.

"You two looked like you were about to do it!" I said.

"JT, it seems like you're jealous." Emma said.

"I'm not jealous…why would I be jealous?" I said.

That's when I looked into her eyes, and realized that I was jealous. Jealous of Emma and Sean...


Oooh, is a love triangle coming on? We'll have to find out…

P.S-The song lyrics in this chapter are Puddle Of Mudd's "Away From Me"