Behind These Eyes Chapter 6-Crazy for You
I don't know why I'm jealous of Emma and Sean. I don't even want to be jealous, but seeing them together makes me go crazy! I can't even explain it.
But somehow, I was gonna have to do something.
"JT? Heeelo, JT, you there?" Darcy said.
I stopped staring at Emma and Sean and pointed my head at Darcy.
"Yeah…here." I said.
"You're jealous, aren't you? All you can do is stare at them." Darcy said, rolling her eyes.
"Sort of, I really don't know why." I said.
"Yeah right." Darcy said sarcastically.
"Okay everyone, in your seats. Now, for homework, you had to write a poem about some feelings you've had, in the past or now. JT, why don't you go first?" said Mrs. Kwan.
I got up and started to read, paying close attention to Emma and Sean.
Never felt like this before
Feels like someone's always closing the door
Have no opinion to give anymore
They fell in love again
A sink that won't shut off
Glue that won't stop sticking
I just sit there staring
While I wish I had the same thing
"Impressive JT, good job." Mrs. Kwan said.
Emma gave me a look as I sat back down. She knew it was about her and Sean, and it didn't look like she liked it at all.
After School:
Emma caught up with me when I was walking down the street. Probably another lame complaint about my poem.
"JT, what was that poem about?" Emma said.
"None of your business." I said.
"Me and Sean, right? It was obvious. Why are you jealous?" Emma said.
"I don't know, okay? I just don't know. Maybe it's because I've formed feelings for you!" I said.
I cannot believe that just came out of my mouth. Emma just stared at me, having no idea what to say.
"Wow…I wasn't expecting that." Emma said.
"It just slipped out." I said, and walked away.
I was so embarrassed, it wasn't even funny. Now Emma knows I like her…and now she's going to feel bad. Or, maybe she's selfless and won't. But I know Emma, and I don't think she'd do that.
When I got home, once again, I heard the familiar sounds of Sabrina's Hilary Duff CD playing.
Oh I try to be normal
I try to put one foot in front of the other
And I feel
You don't even know I'm alive
I open my mouth cause I'm waiting for your love to fall from the sky
And I feel
You think that I'm out of my mind
And maybe your scared to be right
But you'll never know till you get me alone
It always seemed like Sabrina always played the right song, just when I was feeling that way. I knew Emma would be wondering what was going on, after I just walked away. I really don't know what she's thinking, maybe that I'm a total psycho, or that she has the same feelings.
The Next Day:
Paige waved to me down the hall as I went to my locker. I waved back, a little unusual, but nice.
"Damn combination!" Sean said, kicking the locker.
I went over and easily opened his locker.
"Uh thanks." Sean said.
I went back to my locker and crammed my skateboard and backpack inside. I saw Emma walking down the hall, and turned away. She walked over to Sean, and they started kissing.
"Guys, no one wants to see you all over each other. Please, do us a favor and save the tongue action for after school." Mrs. Kwan said.
They ignored her and kept kissing.
Mrs. Kwan pulled Emma away from Sean.
"I mean business, you two. Detention after school." Mrs. Kwan said.
Sean kicked his locker again, and Emma just rolled her eyes. They held hands and walked away. What were those two thinking, just making out in the hallway like that, and especially with Mrs. Kwan's watchful eye over them!
After School:
I couldn't believe I was about to do this, but I was. I needed to talk to Emma, maybe she'd give me a chance, or at least a response to what I said.
"JT…" Emma said.
"I know what I said shocked you. But I have to explain. First of all, I never thought I'd fall in love with you, but I did. I don't know why. You've just always been there…through my breakup. You let me help you. You laugh at my jokes. It's just a feeling I've never experienced before. For once, you weren't playing me…you really, really liked me as a friend." I said.
"That was so sweet, JT, but I'm going out with Sean, you know that right?" Emma said.
"I knew you were going to say that. I'm not blind, Emma, I saw you two in your bedroom, in the hallway, all the time. And you know what, I can't do this to myself. Cause I know you don't love me back." I said.
"It's not that JT…it's just that…" Emma said.
"You owe Sean? Well, you've definitely paid him back, so don't go using that as an excuse." I said.
"I'm not…I'm just confused. I mean, I love Sean more than anything. But you're awesome too." Emma said.
"I really don't know either, Em." I said.
"This just sucks. I know Sean just came back, but after our little make-out session…I just sort of felt something for some reason. Sean's always understood me, he's just so caring…" Emma said.
"You don't have to explain Em. All I wanted was to tell you how I feel, and I got to do what I wanted, so I'll let you go and make out with Sean." I said.
I didn't even look back as I walked away.
And I'm findin it hard, hard to belive
And i feel like I'm livin' inside a dream
And no one believes
And no one sees
That I'm sorry for wastin all your time
And I'm sorry for losin' on the line
Emma kept trying to call me, but I just blocked every single one of her calls. Whatever she had to say, I didn't want to hear. Honestly, I think she can go with Sean and just get screwed like the million other times. She never can seem to learn from their multiple breakups, but things happened like that for a reason.
A reason Emma will never figure out.
The lyrics in this chapter are Hilary Duff's "Do You Want Me?" and Puddle of Mudd's "Heel Over Head." The poem, an original I wrote just for this story. Who will Emma choose? And will Sean and Emma fall apart? Only in the next chapter!
