Chapter One The Madness Begins

Disclaimer: Never in a million years would I own any of these fine characters. And why should I? However, Skyyetide, Saltysunne, Icefyre, and the Moonstarre do belong to my imagination. I saved them.

"Ah, me matyies. What a fine day this be indeed. I was just 'bout to have a nice sit down with my good pal, my rum flask."

Captain Jack Sparrow did not feel as if this was going too well. When had it all started going down hill like this? It was just an innocent boat ride, like a cruise for free. Will missed the feel of the rocking sea, like a true pirate ought to, so Jack, being the gentleman he was, offered a trip for the happy couple's honeymoon. Elizabeth had been hesitant but at Will's look of ecstasy, she gave in quickly. She then proceeded to pack every last bloody thing on earth like a true woman ought to.

The trip had started great. The only thing that didn't sit well was the stop in Tortuga, and he was now about to suffer the consequences of a good time. Three whores had just sauntered off of the Pearl. That would have been fine if not for Bloody Will. So, Elizabeth just had to sneer at one of the more fierce whores, Rachel. Who then turned and asked what Elizabeth's problem was. Naturally Elizabeth and Rachel ended in a shouting match.

Even, this could have been worked out if not for Belle. She had to go and grope Bloody Will. Then he had to allow her and after she purred in his ear for a grand total of ten seconds, Elizabeth lost it. The three whores, rushed off the boat, probably terrified out of their boots.

Just because he was being Captain Jack Sparrow, he opened his big mouth and the words that came out weren't the wisest to say the least. Nowadays? Jack would have won the Darwin Awards.

"Aww, come on luv, can'tye let a man 'ave a lital fun?"

No one on that ship knew that a high class young lady, such as Elizabeth, knew those kinds of curses, could scream quite that loudly, or hit that hard.

Jack was thoroughly beat to a bloody pulp before Elizabeth humphed and went below decks. Pretty much, she had been giving him the silent treatment and Will wasn't exactly pleased with the pirate captain either.

They had just stopped at a rare, respectable place, to stretch the crew's legs a little bit. At the moment, Elizabeth and Anna Marie had just approached him with greedy and mischievous looks on their faces. Anna seemed like she was trying to bite back a laugh, but Elizabeth looked solemn.

"Mr. Sparrow, I wanted to go shopping, with my friend here, and I need a bit of money."

Captain Jack Sparrow, fiercest of all Caribbean pirates(according to him), cringed at the word shopping. He sighed, this was only to be expected.

"I'd luv to 'elp ya out luv, but if mem'ry serves right, you 'ere 'ave bin ignorin' me. Why should I be inclined to aquest you?"

Elizabeth stared at him hard and cold before replying with as much dignity as she could muster,

"Mr. Sparrow, you deserved what I gave to you and you have no right to complain. I promise to forgive you if you let me borrow some money."

Jack raised his eyebrows. He was not about to be beaten by a woman, no matter how right she was.

"Ye made me suffa sooooo much. Why shou' I now give you my hard earned money luv?"

Elizabeth rose up to her full height(difficult with a baby I'd imagine), but it made no difference, seeing as how Jack was so much taller than her.

With her most piercing stare she said icily,

"I will pay you back later. I promise not to yell at your WHORES anymore, I will forgive you, AND I might even think about telling Will to forgive you."

Jack grinned, very much like a coyote.

"Wha' more couldda man want?"

He handed over the said money and the women promptly turned to saunter off. Little did any of them know that soon, they would have more to worry about than, dare I say it, shopping.

(Boo, hiss!)

Because right at this moment, Will came over and stood there wanting an explanation for why the women were leaving. No one got a chance to say anything because, right at this very time and space, a black vortex/tornado swooped down, scooped up the entire Black Pearl and proceeded to swallow them all.

Everyone fainted immediately so no discomfort would be felt except for extreme and utter confusion.

Author's note:

I really do not enjoy shopping so I can sympathize with Jack here. If anyone has any questions, comments, constructive criticism, or wants to tell me they love me and want me to post a second chapter then REVIEW PLEASE! Da Moose