Sincerity and (In)Sanity
AN: I felt I needed a change of pace. Now while I admit that I am no where near able to portray Heero perfectly, I'm gladly reminded that this is quite a few years after the wars and I'm almost positive that he's changed a bit. After all, can't have Heero remain the perfect soldier and emotional Popsicle for the rest of his life, ne? Well, this is how I feel Heero would be at the age of twenty-five. Forgive me if he becomes majorly OOC.

Chapter Five; Heero POV:

I stared at Duo as he placed his jacket on the coat rack. He still kept himself in good condition. He was taller, which wasn't an issue. I always knew most of my friends would eventually become taller than me due to the fact I was Japanese. You don't see very many of us top five foot five. I was just lucky to gain a few more inches than that. His suit seemed tailor made for him. If I was correct about his profession, then it very likely was. I hadn't really found out what he'd done after college until Relena came back from her appointment with a shrink and mentioned that she had seen Duo. At first, as old habits die hard, I had wanted to believe that Duo was getting help for as crazy as he was. Needless to point out, I was blow away by the revelation that Duo had been the very shrink I had sent her to. How could I not have placed two and two together to realize that a Dr. Maxwell could have been Duo?

I seemed frozen as Duo looked me over. His eyes were always expressive. Their violet color always giving away how he felt, even if he wasn't feeling exactly as he tried to make everyone believe he was. I think I'm the only one to realize it. That could also be wishful thinking on my part. It had taken Quatre inviting us for a reunion before I could see Duo again. Relena had kept me so busy I hadn't been able to go find him once we had parted ways all those years ago. I still wanted to know about the letter her had left me. I had wanted to let him know how much he meant to me, but that had been the best I could come up with. His had been more telling. He had been upset over what I had left and for the life of me, even to this day, I couldn't understand why.

His chestnut brown hair was still held back in it's usual braid, some glimpses of red shimmering throughout it as the light caught it. It was longer than it had once been. That was fine. I had always loved his hair, no matter what he did with it. Secretly, even though I kept telling him he should cut it, that it wasn't professional or efficient, I hadn't really wanted him to. I couldn't keep the answering smile off my face as he smiled at me. It was one of the few that were genuine, and left solely for me.

"Thanks, Hee-chan. It's really good to be home." His rich tenor voice washed over me and I felt an internal shiver. It had been so long since I had last heard his voice. I used to think that I'd be happy once I had some peace and quiet, away from his eternal motor-mouth. Yet once I had realized I missed his idle chatter about anything and everything and nothing at all, I found myself replaying disks of his voice just to hear him. Yet his voice was as childish as it had been in those tapes. Duo had grown up the same as the rest of us. While it was obvious that there was a lot that was different with him, there was also a lot that was the same. The main part was that Duo was still happy, even without me in his life. It hurt to realize this, but I had come to realize a lot of things I didn't like. Maybe Duo had even managed to find someone else. My breath caught in my chest. Even though Quatre had assured me that he had no one living with him, that didn't mean he just hadn't gotten to that point with someone else. It hurt to think of someone else touching my Duo as I had. No one should be able to hear his moans but me.

"Ne, Hee-chan, are you okay?" his voice asked. I shook myself out of my thoughts and found myself almost face-to-face with him. I blinked, startled. At least I knew he didn't hate me. When Duo hated someone, he didn't get close to them. I nodded slowly, reaching out to brush a stray lock of hair over his ear. Duo graced me with a brighter smile then, making my heart beat a familiar tune. One it had beat all those years ago when we had finally come together. When his hands had caressed more than just in a friendly way and mine had returned the favor.

"Hai," I answered. I felt that now that he knew I was all right, he'd move away from me, leaving me without his warmth. Instead, he returned the favor and brushed his hand over my forehead, shifting my bangs so they didn't obstruct my view. I felt lost. I wanted to tell him everything that I had come to realize while he was away from me. I wanted to tell him that it took me losing him beside me before I had realized what it was I had felt toward him, but for some reason I couldn't name, I couldn't say anything at all. Emotions, while not so new to me anymore, weren't something I was good at expressing.

"How's work?" Duo asked, still remaining close to me. I couldn't help it, as his gentle touch brushed over my forehead once more to slide down to caress my cheek, I leaned into his hand. While it wasn't perfectly soft, years of hard work showed on his callused hands, but it was still softer than any man had a right to have. His expressive eyes flared with something I still couldn't read, even now, and he leaned in close. His warm breath only mere inches away from my lips. I could feel his breath burning me, making me long for more than I should ask for.

"It's good," I replied, wondering how I had been able to answer him without finding myself pushing him back against the wall and taking those soft looking lips of his in a brushing kiss that showed him just how much I had missed him over these long years. Yet I wanted to let him make the first move. I wanted to know that my feelings were returned. I didn't want to make him do something he didn't want to. He smiled, I could see it in his eyes, that were so close to mine. I couldn't help the answering smile that came to me. He was always able to make me smile, even when I didn't want to.

"Good. I've got a problem, Hee-chan," he told me then, his voice husky, almost sounding strained. I sucked in a swift breath as his tongue lightly slipped out to caress my lower lip, taking in the fresh scent of lavender and vanilla. The scent that was most certainly Duo and Duo alone. He loved using lavender shampoo and conditioner for his hair and a vanilla scented body wash for himself. He said it was in order to seduce me, which had worked well, might I add. Even now, he brought to mind our one amazing night. Clearing my throat, but not backing away, I answered with the only words I knew to answer with.

"What problem?" I asked. 'Oh, smooth Yuy. Real smooth. Why not just let the boy know you're still as turned on by him now as you were before and paste it on your forehead for everyone to see!' That little voice inside me screamed. I honestly felt as embarrassed as the situation called for. After all, Duo was a practical joker and usually enjoyed teasing me or the other pilots relentlessly. What was to say this wasn't some kind of joke? If it was, then I had to admit that I very likely deserved it.

"You see, I want to kiss you, Heero. It feels like we've only been away for a brief while instead of years. Now the first thing I learned as a psychologist was that you admit you have a problem. I've done that. The second is to face the problem. Well, I'm facing it. The last thing is to make the problem go away. Well, the only way to do that is to kiss you. Yet I know we parted on the worst of terms. We were both upset and hurt and scared. So my only question to you is, may I kiss you, even if you still hate me?" I felt my breath catch. How could someone this wonderful still want me, desire me, and love me? It just didn't compute with my mind. Yet at the moment, I wanted the same thing, as well as knew I had to correct one thing he had said before I gave in. It was just difficult to handle this when he was so close to me I could fell his breath against my lips every time he spoke or let his breath go.

"I don't hate you, Duo. I never have. I just didn't understand what I was feeling. Yet to answer your question, yes, you can kiss me." He didn't wait another second. His velvet soft lips locked onto mine before the last word passed my lips. I didn't protest. I felt him melt against me, and I raised my arms to wrap around him. If I had know this was the kind of reception I would have gotten seeing Duo, I would have come to him yesterday instead of waiting for today. Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei all agreed that we needed some time to ourselves when I arrived, knowing there was much we needed to talk about. I just never dreamed we wouldn't need much words between the two of us.

I felt his tongue lightly brush against my lower lip once more. I let my lips part, feeling him slip his tongue inside the cavern of my mouth in order to duel with my own tongue. The kiss was hot, deep, and reminiscent of everything we had once been before fear and stupidity had driven us apart. Both emotions had been on my part, although Duo had shown some of it himself by his answering letter. Although it was more obvious now that his actions had been fueled more by hurt and childishness, instead of fear and stupidity. Once our lungs began crying for air, we parted, Duo coming to rest his head on my shoulder. I held him tightly, uncertain when this dream would end, and it most certainly had to be a dream, and not wanting to let go just yet.

"Hee-chan, that was still mind blowing," Duo whispered against my neck, his breathing causing me to shiver. I nodded.

"Hai," I answered. I felt him smile against my neck. He then left a teasing little nip at the sensitive hollow of my throat, making me moan softly at such a caress. It simply served to remind me of everything Duo was quite good at making me do.

"Look, I know we parted on less than friendly terms. Neither one knew where the other had gone. It took asked Quatre to find out you had accepted a job as Relena's bodyguard. He hadn't even found out about my job choice until I had already been working at it for about a week."

"He had been able to tell us you'd gone on to college. We just didn't know where. He wouldn't tell us. Quatre kept saying if we wanted to know anything, then we should talk to you, personally. I suppose all of us were just glad to know you were all right. We didn't need to know anything else. Or rather, that's what we tried to tell ourselves. I wanted to come find you Duo. I really did. Yet I was so wrapped up in my work, that I thought I'd have to wait until I had a break to do it." Duo laughed softly, holding me in a gentle hold. I reveled in it.

"Let me guess, Relena was too obsessed with you at the time to be able to let you go." I laughed as well.

"How'd you guess?" I asked, knowing full well he understood people far better than anyone else I knew, including Quatre.

"Just a lucky one. Anyway, I'm sorry for that letter, Heero. It was very childish of me. Not to mention just a little mean. I should have waited and told you I was going personally. It's just I was hurting so badly back then. I couldn't handle seeing you again. I took the cowards way out. I ran and hid."

"Something you've told me on many an occasion that you're very good at," I answered. He laughed, lifting his head from my shoulder and looking up into my eyes. I could feel myself drowning in those violet depths, but I didn't feel like stopping myself. Not this time.

"So I have, haven't I?" He asked, a smile on his lips. I nodded, leaning up to brush a kiss across his nose. He smiled even brighter then. "It wasn't until I had gotten some time alone and some serious psychology behind me that I realized you hadn't said what you had to be mean. You had wrote the only thing you could think of to describe what you felt back then. I kept forgetting that you were still new in the emotional arena. I shouldn't have retaliated the way I had." I shook my head, holding him close. It was then that he straightened from his bent position. As he did so, I found my head coming to rest on his shoulder instead of the other way around. I couldn't help but feel comfort and tenderness in the reversal of our roles. I could seriously find myself liking being held, as long as Duo was the one doing the holding.

"We were both new to such feelings, Duo. Even you had told me once that you feared loving anyone." I felt him tense slightly. I raised my head to meet his gaze, only to see his eyes slightly glazed over in remembrance of something he wasn't enjoying. I slowly raises a hand and caressed his cheek. He blinked, dispelling the glazed look and looked down at me, a small crooked grin crossing his lips.

"So I did. I suppose we both had our own demons to fight, ne? I guess you've done better than I have," he said, a bitter tone to his normally light voice. I shook my head.

"I'm still fighting my own," I whispered. Even I was afraid to love. I didn't know if I was really capable of it. Duo sighed and stepped back, letting go of me at the same time. I felt a little bereft of his arms around me, yet I knew we could remain that way forever. While it was still obvious we felt something still for one another, it wasn't certain if it was what we had once felt all those years ago.

"What say we start things slowly, fighting our demons as we go." I blinked. What was he getting at?

"What do you mean, Duo?" I asked, wanting to understand him perfectly. I couldn't help the small bit of hope that had filled my tone. I really wanted to be with Duo. I'd do anything I could to make it work.

"I say we try dating. I know we've already done far more and I also know we know more about the other than a normal couple who are trying to see if they'll get along in the long run. Yet there are quite a few years of separation here. We need to get reacquainted with each other. Take the time to see if its more than physical, not that I don't believe this isn't more. I just want us both to be certain before we make this something more than just friends." I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Is this the psychologist talking, or the man?" I asked, having to know. Duo laughed softly.

"Hard to separate the two any more, Hee-chan. I'm both on a pretty steady basis now." I nodded, understanding him now. He wasn't the same silly boy I had first loved anymore. He was a man who had come to understand people in a way I would never be able to. He had taken his skills and molded them into something he could be proud of. In all honesty, seeing him in this light only made me more proud of him. Only made me love him more. Oh, I was certain I loved him. That was one thing I had come to realize while we had been apart. Yet I didn't know if I could love him unconditionally, as he should have. Our pasts were still going to be sore spots between the two of us, but at least we had a chance. This was more than I could have ever hoped to have gotten at such an early point in time.

"All right, then. We'll try it your way. We'll act like a normal couple, or as normal as we can be seeing as we aren't really normal." Duo grinned and hugged me then, which in turn I could do more than return the warm embrace.

"Um, we do kind of have to share a room while you're here. Unless you either want the couch or you could share with Wuffles." I laughed softly. Duo always managed to think of the important things after other things had already been dealt with.

"I think we can handle being room-mates without jumping the other, Duo," I said with a smile. He looked away, but I couldn't miss his grumbled reply.

"Easy for you to say." I chuckled and lightly brought his turned away face to face mine.

"Why, Mr. Maxwell, are you saying you like me that much?" I teasingly questioned. His eyes widened as I teased him and I couldn't help but smile even wider at his expression. It seemed we really had a lot of catching up to do.

"Heero. . .did you just tease me?" he questioned. I nodded, brushing a kiss a long his jaw-line.

"I did," I answered honestly. I knew Duo prided honesty and truth among all else. It was one thing I knew I could always expect. He may do many things, but he didn't lie.

"Well I'll be. . .Heero Yuy actually has a sense of humor. Oh lord, how am I going to be able to resist you now?" I laughed, knowing Duo had always had a hard time resisting me even back when I didn't have a sense of humor. He had loved me for who I was, wither I was emotionally challenged or not.

"I suppose I'll just have to help you manage it. After all, we're just dating at the moment, aren't we?" I felt him chuckle against me and I couldn't help but laugh with him.

"I suppose so, Hee-chan. I suppose so." He looked toward the clock that rested in his living room and noticed he had exactly ten minutes to get something to eat before he had to head back over to his office. "What say we raid the kitchen and get something to eat before I have to return to my office, Heero. I've only got ten minutes left of my break." I nodded, already leading him in the direction of the kitchen.

"Ryoukai," I answered, one arm still around his waist as we moved, not really ready to let him go just yet. Duo smiled toward me, one of his own arms wrapping around my shoulders, showing me that he felt the same. For that, I was glad, really glad.