Fourteen – A Whole Speech for Nothing . . .
Later that afternoon, the Marauders, Lily and Verity were doing a bit of photojournalism of their very own.
Once again, pieces of parchment were stuck up all over the school. They flapped from every bit of wall space the Gryffindors could find. They were stuck on classroom doors, they decorated staircase banisters and they graced the backs of toilet cubicle doors.
Lily stuck up another, and smiled at the Head Boy beside her for perhaps the two hundredth time that day while they observed the contents of the parchment.
Hogwarts Hearsay
Issue 4, Volume 1
Saturday 1st May
As many of the student population will know, this publication, since its beginning, has always had a reputation for being far more fictitious than factual in its content. However, Hogwarts Hearsay is, as of now, under brand new management, and therefore will not only be narrating the absolute truth, but all images contained herein are completely genuine and have not been tampered with in any way.
Having said that, the Editors would now like to share with you the following photograph:
Underneath was the image they had captured only that morning. It was rather brilliant, James thought as he studied it. It was, of course, a photograph of Rita Skeeter stumbling out of the maintenance cupboard on the sixth floor, soaked in pond water, covered in weeds and mucus, with blue straw for hair, boils adorning her face and feathers sprouting form her ears. As the photographic Ravenclaw swayed around in a rather drunken way, a couple of pixies sniggered at her in the background and then either made a grab at her hair or flew up her skirt.
For those of you (and we suspect there may be many) who do not recognise the wretched creature in this photograph, we can inform you that it is none other than this publication's former author, editor and producer, Rita Skeeter. Skeeter was snapped around lunchtime today exiting one of Mr Filch's cleaning supplies cupboards on the sixth floor in the sate pictured. It seems that the former organiser of Hogwarts Hearsay has been the victim of an elaborate practical joke involving many students belonging to the first year and other residents of the Hogwarts castle.
When asked to comment on her experience, Miss Skeeter only released an incoherent wailing which some Slytherin third years claim to have heard from the lower levels of the dungeons.
It is the authors' professional opinion that Miss Skeeter may have been targeted in this way as a result of her continued slandering of a Miss Lily Evans, the current Head Girl. We hope that Miss Skeeter has learnt the valuable lesson that Miss Evans has friends in both high and low places that will not hesitate to aid her or her reputation when in jeopardy.
Photograph courtesy of the subject's sister, Anita Skeeter.
"Masterful," James commented and Lily hummed in agreement as the two of them continued on along the corridor. Already a little way down the corridor where they had come, the Hufflepuff Quidditch Team, coming in from practice was milling around the notices displaying their efforts.
According to some second and third years they had met, Rita Skeeter had been spotted making her erratic way back to the Ravenclaw Common Room, hiding behind statues and columns as much as possible with a stolen Slytherin scarf wrapped around her head, leaving a trail of feathers and troll mucus on her root.
Lily, who didn't often gloat, felt a very strong inclination to at that moment. James, who had a very extensive history of gloating, was holding up very well, considering the circumstances.
It was when they reached the Entrance Hall that Lily and James had run out of copies to put up.
"Being Head Boy has its perks," James said, as his wand flicked out of his cloak with a flourish, "and one of them is being able to do magic in the corridors."
Lily held out their remaining parchment for him to duplicate.
"Diplo poli."
Lily smiled as sheets of parchment appeared in her hands, all with the fantastic photograph on them, along with the article. Strangely enough, she wasn't really smiling at the parchments. She was smiling at James. James was smiling back.
They seemed to be doing that a lot recently, ever since the day before in the Hospital Wing. One of them would say something, they would smile, and go on smiling for no other reason that the fact that they were smiling. Lily found that liked smiling at James, after thinking for so many years that he didn't deserve it. She also liked it when he smiled back at her, this being another new discovery. James, on the other hand, had always liked it when Lily smiled at him, therefore he smiled back . . . which caused Lily to smile at him . . . which caused him to smile at her . . .
It was a vicious circle . . . well actually, it was quite a peaceful and amiable circle, really.
Unfortunately, all this smiling rather distracted the Head Boy and Girl from the level the parchment was reaching in Lily's arms. This level was becoming very high indeed and Lily only realised how many copies were mounting up when the pile reached the bottom of her chin and it suddenly occurred to her that her arms felt like they were being dislocated with the weight.
"Oh, gosh!" she cried as her knees buckled.
"Whoa!" James yelled, lunging forward to catch a clumsy hold of the pile. "Fine Incantatem!"
"Ah," Lily commented in a flat voice, struggling to support the papers.
"Hold on, I'll get it," James said, catching a parchment that was sliding off the top with one hand while grappling at the bottom with the other.
"Wait! It's slipping over this side!" Lily said, making mad grabs for a bit in the middle of the pile that was threatening to slip out.
Piles of parchment have a sly habit of dispersing every which way and they were making a good go at trying to escape the grasp of the two seventh years and submit to gravity, for this reason, both Lily and James found themselves taking steps forwards towards each other to trap the various sections of parchment that were going various ways.
"Oh, Merlin," sighed James. "This is so bloody typical."
"Personally, I don't really see how this can be salvaged," agreed Lily.
It then came to their attention, that even with a heavy pile of parchment being prevented from falling only by the way it was wedged between them, they really were standing quite close together. If Lily were to stand very still and look upwards, her eyes would be exactly at the level of James's chin. Moreover, if James were to stand very still and look downward, their eyes would be at an exact diagonal and interestingly, so would their lips.
If Lily were to stand on her tip toes and if James were to bend down only a little . . .
Something slipped between them and Lily gasped as all the parchments they had been holding dislodged themselves and cascaded spectacularly onto the floor at their feet. Both James and Lily looked down in silence as the pile made a resounding slap on the flagstones, followed by a riffling of paper as loose sheets of parchment swung to and fro, floating down gently onto the floor.
James glanced up at Lily, but she still had her head bent and her eyes flicked to the side. He watched her as she bopped down onto her knees and slowly began to gather up the sheets into a pile. Once James had bent down to help, he noticed a blush flowering under her freckles.
For some reason, neither of them remembered to use their wands.
Stop blushing! Lily told herself furiously. You are being utterly ridiculous!
What in the name of magic was going on? Lily Evans hardly ever blushed, especially not around boys. She had never blushed because of Diggory, nor had she ever blushed around Professor Milo (their fabulously good looking replacement professor who took over when one of the big Christmas trees fell on Professor Flitwick in their fourth year). She hadn't even blushed when she was served by that boy in the Three Broomsticks who had the most beautiful hair she had ever seen and had come over to her and Verity's table to put a pink snapdragon in her empty Butterbeer bottle.
It was not that Lily minded the red haze she felt creeping across her face, but why did it have to be Potter, of all people? They had only just become friends and now she was standing on her toes to snog him? She didn't know why, but the thought of kissing Potter made her stomach feel like it was filling with an all-singing, all-dancing cabaret of sock puppets.
Feverishly, she made extra haste in shuffling the copies together, but stopped when she felt something on her hand. It was another hand. It was a hand attached to the rest of the Head Boy.
It was a strange feeling to have the coldness of the flagstone under her fingers and the warmth of James's over her own.
"Sorry," he said quietly . . . but he didn't move his hand. Lily didn't really know what he was sorry for, but found that she didn't really care all that much.
"It's all right," she replied.
James then did the oddest thing. He opened his mouth, as if he wanted to say something. Then he closed it, as if he had suddenly thought better. This was most uncharacteristic. Lily had never known of another scenario where James Potter had not said exactly what he felt like saying. Thank you very much.
After a while they carried on clearing up the mess.
While Lily was kneeling there on the floor, picking up parchment and being confused about how she was feeling, somewhere on the same floor, there was occurring a conversation in which her friends were voicing an equal confusion as to how the Head Girl was feeling.
"You know, I'm not sure I can take it anymore," Verity said conversationally as she stapled a copy of Hogwarts Hearsay to the wall with her wand. "I need to know what is going on in that girl's head."
Remus, who was standing beside her, holding a pile of their publication to be put up, glanced at the way the parchment crinkled into the wall, showing the unusual violence of the stapling charm.
"Tense much?" he asked.
"I mean, it's just so weird," Verity continued, in a voice that portrayed some sort of social disapproval. "Why is he not dead yet? More importantly, why are they not sneaking off to the Astronomy Tower together yet? Lily knows James isn't a prick anymore, what more does she need?"
"I don't know why the boy doesn't get a move on," Sirius commented lazily from where he was leaning against the opposite wall, finishing off a packet of Liquorice Wands. "No point in beating about the proverbial bush, is there? Now's as good a time as any to ask whether she'll go out with him. She likes him, doesn't she?" Not really doing anything to help their endeavour, he turned the packet inside out and started scooping up the fine sugar that dusted the inside of the foil, a time honoured tradition amongst Liquorice Wand-lovers.
"This might sound a little strange to you, Padfoot," Remus said, handing over another newsletter to be stapled, "but maybe Prongs just doesn't want to push it. You'll agree that this is probably the best their relationship has ever been, right?"
"Damn straight," nodded Sirius, his tongue coated in orange sugar. "This castle is so empty without the sultry sound of Lily cursing James within an inch of his life. Even the wildlife's getting confused at the lack of noise and violence."
"Well then," said Remus, "maybe he thinks this is the best it's going to get, and doesn't want to cock it up?"
"Ah, the old share and scare problem," Sirius said, pointing an orange finger upwards and raising his eyebrows in the motion of a scientist participating in a very important discussion. "Share your love, scare your love, the timeless way of alienating close friend and casual acquaintance alike."
"Exactly."
"That's tosh," Verity said in a smaller voice, staring straight at Remus, "of course he wouldn't alienate her. What if she likes him too?"
"How is he to know that?" Remus replied, in a voice even more quiet, and one had to wonder if the two of them were still talking on the subjects they had started off on.
Behind them, Sirius stopped rustling his liquorice packet and glanced suspiciously from Remus to Verity.
"Bollocks to this," Verity said, stuffing her wand into her back pocket, "I'm going to find her and winkle the truth out of her right now!"
"What? But she's with Prongs!" Sirius pointed out.
"Yes, we agreed to get them on their own," said Remus, but Verity took off down the corridor, jogging backwards to shout.
"I'll tell her I need to go to the loo," she called, "girls can never go to the loo on their own!"
"That's true," Sirius told Remus, nodding as if from experience.
"Come on," the sandy-haired boy replied, and they started after Verity.
James was beginning to wonder if Lily was ever going to speak to him again. More importantly, he was beginning to wonder if he would ever be able to speak to her again. Whenever he thought of something to say, it started to seem so out of place in the situation. Neither of them had said anything in the past five minutes of picking up papers. It was very odd.
He also wondered if Lily would have really kissed him if their pile of parchment hadn't decided to pull a nose dive on them.
Perhaps he should ask?
"Lilo!" came a voice from down the corridor. The two Heads turned around from the floor to see Verity jogging down the corridor, followed by Sirius and Remus. Grabbing the pile of papers she had made, Lily scrambled to her feet.
"What's going on?" she asked, as her best friend neared. "Have you finished?"
Remus hastily hid his copies of Hogwarts Hearsay behind his back.
"Er . . . Yes!" grinned Verity, "I need the loo, let's go."
"What?" asked Lily, as Verity snaked her arm through hers and dragged her off, "but I was . . ."
"You were what?"
Lily glanced back at James but only for a moment.
"Nevermind," she said.
"I was going to say," Verity said, "you don't expect me to go on my own, do you?" Lily gasped.
"No! Of course not! What kind of friend do you take me for?"
"I thought so . . ."
Their voices became fainter as they disappeared around the corner, leaving the Marauders standing amongst the remaining sheets of parchment of the floor.
"Why in the name of magic do girls always go to the loo together?" asked James, running a hand over his head.
"Nobody knows but them, Prongs, my ol' mate," Sirius said.
"And they're in no hurry to tell us," added Remus.
"Why?" Sirius suddenly asked James. "What are you getting so narked about it for? Girls do it all the time. Were you . . . busy, by any chance?"
"What?" James asked incredulously. He blew outwards through his top teeth and tipped his chin downwards. "Pf! No, I was not busy! What a notion! You two are crackers. I was with Lilo, for Merlin's sake . . ."
His best friends glanced sideways at each other while James clutched a pile of papers to his chest uncomfortably.
"Then why are you going all twitchy?" asked Remus.
"Yeah, and why is your voice going a bit high and squeaky around the edges?" added Sirius.
"I am not!" declared James defiantly, trying to make voice as low as possible, "and it is not! What are you implying?"
"Only that you and Lily seem to be getting a lot friendlier lately," Remus said, shrugging noncommittally.
"Yeah, she's stopped cursing you when you feel her up."
"Number one: I have never felt Lily up," James said, "number two: . . ."
No words followed this introduction. Instead, James blinked an awful lot and made various pouting movements with his mouth.
Sirius sniggered and Remus folded his arms, smirking.
"All right, fine," James said, smiling as he unfolded his arms from around the newsletters and chucked them onto the floor in surrender. "The gig is up. You've rumbled me. I think Lily has changed her mind about how much of a twat I am."
"Hah! Didn't I tell you?" Remus exclaimed.
"Yeah, all right, you told me, but I made it happen," Sirius argued.
"No, you didn't, really," said Remus.
"Yes, I did!" Sirius insisted, "I flicked the magic switch in Lilo's head."
"Yeah, with one question, before which Prongs has been having an entire attitude adjustment," Remus maintained.
James was beginning to look a bit put out.
"Er . . hello?" he said flatly, waving a hand around between his best friends. "And here I was thinking this was supposed to be a joyous occasion?"
Sirius and Remus had the decency to look slightly ashamed.
"You're right, we're terribly sorry," Remus said.
"Definitely," added Sirius.
"In fact, we're overjoyed!" continued Remus, nodding at Sirius.
"That's right!" Sirius nodded back, then he turned, grinning to James and cheered. "Congratulations! Weh-hey!"
James folded his arms, sniggering.
"You two are stark-raving, did you know that?" he asked, smiling as he started off towards the Gryffindor Common Room.
"Yeah, whatever, mate," Sirius dismissed, "I'm still going to be your best man at the wedding."
"What makes you think he'll pick you?" Remus asked, leaning forward round James to peer at Sirius.
"Er, more importantly, what makes you think I'm even getting married?" James interrupted.
"What do you mean? Of course you're getting married!" Sirius said, as if James were dense. "Lily's cottoned on to the fact that you're nicer than she thought. Just ask her out next chance you get and you'll be exchanging vows in no time!"
"You know, Sirius," Remus said, as James simply gaped, "as best man, you will have to write a speech."
"Sure, I'll just get you to write it for me," Sirius shrugged.
"Hey, whoa," James exclaimed, grasping each of his best friends by the backs of their collars and stopping them in the middle of the corridor. "Before you start writing any manner of Best Man's speeches, you might want to know that my chances of getting Lily to marry me are slimmer than the latest line of Cleansweeps. She and I are just friends, and I have a feeling we're going to stay that way."
"Oh, really?" drawled Sirius. "Well, where is this feeling of yours, then? I'll beat its arse and make it see sense."
"Yes, Prongs, you've wanted to be with Lily for so long," Remus agreed. "Not to sound sickening, but you two belong together."
James sighed, but his eyebrows rose in an expression that suggested he agreed.
"Maybe," he said diplomatically, "I just . . . want to give it some space, all right? I don't want to ruin it. Today's probably been the best day of my life and I don't want all Lily's smiles, hugs and friendship to disappear just like that."
"Don't worry, they won't," Remus insisted, pushing James forward again towards the Gryffindor Tower. "Do whatever you think is appropriate, Prongs, just . . . don't keep us in suspense for too long, eh?
"Yeah. You don't want Moony to have to write a whole speech for nothing, do you?" added Sirius.
"Er, Verity," Lily said at some point during their stroll. "Wasn't the turning towards the girls' bathroom on the left we just passed?"
"Oh, Lilo," Verity replied kindly, "we're not going to the girl's bathroom."
"We aren't?" asked Lily, beginning to worry slightly as an effect of the faintly crazed look on her best friend's face and the unusually tight grip of her arm looped through Lily's elbow.
"Oh, no," verity said, closing for a moment in reverence. "The girls' bathroom is for small talk with people you see in there once or twice but don't particularly like. It is the place you go when you have a Herbology exam that you haven't revised for, or when you want tell someone that you're thinking of dumping your boyfriend for his best mate and want there to be absolutely no chance of him hearing it. Our little chat will be much more heavy duty. We're going to the Heads' Dorms."
"And what would this little heavy-duty chat be concerning?" asked Lily, fearing the worst.
"What else?" Verity replied with relish as they arrived in front of the twin cherry oak panelled doors, "but your love life?"
"Wha-?" Lily said, very articulately as Verity said the password and pushed her inside. "What are you talking about, Ver? You know as well as anyone (despite Skeeter's continuous efforts to convey the contrary) that my love life is about as interesting as watching a slug who's watching Professor Binns who's watching the grass on the Quidditch pitch grow. There's nothing to tell that was worth dragging me all this way for."
"Oh, come on, Lily," Verity said, "sit down and be reasonable. As we both know, I am your best friend and therefore I am entitled to know and remember every single, small, minute, seemingly insignificant detail of your life and comment on whichever I deem worthy."
"Do you now?"
"Certainly, it goes along with my duty to stay up late with you on week nights, eating ice cream straight out of the tub whilst reading magazines and my right to steal any item of clothing you possess from your wardrobe at any given time."
"I see." Lily sat down on the sofa next to Verity, "So, darling best friend of mine, which factor of my love life would you like to talk about? The fact that I have not had a boyfriend in over six months or the fact that there have not been any offers from anyone to rectify the situation?"
"James asks you out," Verity said, quite fairly.
"He doesn't count, he's been doing it for close on three years, even when I was going out with Diggory," Lily quipped back. "Besides, I don't think he'll be asking me out again any time soon, somehow," and Verity tripped on something in her best friend's tone.
"How is your relationship with ol' James these days?" she asked, never one to beat about the bush.
"Why do people keep asking me that?" Lily asked, in a voice that was trying to avoid something.
"Because it looks interesting, I expect," Verity said, leaning towards Lily and jutting her chin out in a rather intrusive manner. "They must have surely noticed how you and James seem to be getting along all the better these days. Specifically . . . today."
Lily said nothing. She simply sat very still with her hands clasped between her knees and tried desperately to look as though she could not think what her best friend could possibly be talking about.
Finally, after a continuous staring-at from Verity, Lily cracked.
"All right! All right!" she yelled, and her hands jumped from between her knees to grip the sofa cushions on either side of them.
"Haha!" Verity cried triumphantly, "I knew it!"
But nothing could stop Lily from opening the flood doors on everything that had happened in the past twenty-four hours.
"So yesterday night in the Hospital Wing when Sirius asked me what I hated about Potter, I really couldn't think of anything at all, which was really odd and quite bizarre because you know Potter has never really been my favourite person, ever, in the history of anything, so sometime during the night when I had gotten over my shock and pulled myself together, I asked myself: what reason is there really to hate the boy? So next morning, Potter wakes up and asks me what's wrong because you know he does that really creepy thing where he knows exactly where I am and exactly how I'm feeling that sometimes scares the magic out of me and sometimes I am really quite thankful for? Yeah, well, he knew something was wrong and the thing was, I just felt so guilty for having been so nasty to him for so long when he did nothing to deserve it. I didn't know what to say to him and I tried to keep my mouth shut but it didn't really work, like it's not really working now. Anyway, I had a bit of a breakdown right there in the Hospital Wing bed and the boy was just so nice to me (although Merlin knows why) and now we're kind of friends . . . well, he says I was always his friend, but we're kind of . . . mutually friends . . . The End."
Lily said this all very fast and in a voice that jumped from pitch to pitch like a butterfly on a sugar-high on a strong summer's breeze. It was like trying to condense Hogwarts, A History into three sentences. There was just so much to say.
"Crickey," said Verity, grinning like a Cornish Pixie in a glassware shop. "That was a saga and a half."
"Oh, and NB," added Lily, "there's also the small matter of us having almost kissed."
"WHAT?"
"Twice."
". . . I say again: WHAT?"
"Once this morning in the hospital wing before you dropped the Skeeter bombshell, once this afternoon when we were putting up newsletters."
"Gosh, you don't hang around much, do you?" Verity said quite amazed. "You go from friends to potential snoggers in under ten minutes. I thought James was first on your grand list of people whom you would rather kill than kiss."
Lily sighed in a rather dreamy way, and smiled, leaning back on the sofa with a wave of her hand.
"He used to be," she said slowly, "but now, I think he's been quite removed from that list."
"Oh? And is he on a new list, then?"
"Possibly," Lily said shyly. "In fact, I think he may be first on the list of people I would rather kiss than kill."
"Really now?" exclaimed Verity, excitedly.
"Yes, yes," Lily said, waving her friend away, "and I shall say no more."
"Oh, yes, you sodding well shall," dismissed Verity. "This calls for pyjamas, ice cream and magazines. We may well be here all night."
a/n: So, as you all know, the previous chapter saw Rita Skeeter being publicly humiliated and we all had a good laugh at her. Fun times.
I hope you all have your invitations, because I've decided to move the SkeeterBeater party to . . . today! Welcome to koonelli and Anne-Janet's SkeeterBeater party!
All right, now, imagine that all I'm giving you is Rita Skeeter. There she is, in the middle of nothing. This is your chance to do anything you want to Rita, but please, nothing too violent or dangerous. Bear in mind, this fic is a T. You can put Rita anywhere you like (within reason) and can do just about anything to make her miserable. The best entries will explain clearly how Rita came to be in her awful situation, (not just plonk her in the middle of it with no explanation). For example, if you choose to put her in the middle of the Sahara, this is going to take a lot of explaining. You may well also include other characters that you create who can be the medium of any curses that befall Rita.
It would also be good if your entry is well written and entertaining. If I laugh, these are big points.
Here are a few guidelines.
1) Try and stick to cannon. For example, I really doubt there are any fire extinguishers at Hogwarts.
2) No electrical appliances of any kind.
3) No glass.
4) Please do not kill Rita Skeeter. This is murder and I may have to call the police. Besides, I might want to use her in another fic and I can't do that if she's dead now, can I?
5) You can even re-write the broom closet scene in the previous chapter if you want. You might not want to have her in a broom closet at all.
If you want to keep your review for this chapter and you entry separate, you can email them to me at koonelli (at) gmail . com
The best ones will have a one shot dedicated to the author. I know this is rather a crap prize, but I don't know what else I can put up for grabs.
Have fun!
P.S. If you are a pacifist and do not believe in Violence Against Skeeter I'm very sorry. Please feel free to write me an angry review. Or just review the chapter. :D
Thunder's Shadow: I should have made them kiss, shouldn't I? Oh, well, plenty of time for that. Congrats on your subscribers and no problem.
everblue3: Haha, I'm glad you enjoyed it. You're completely right; I do like my characters to have a good time of it. In fact, I make sure they have a good time. Thank you for noticing. :)
MelissaMarie: Shirtless!Sirius . . . nothing better, I'm sure you'll agree.
Someone Special: Thank you so much for saying lovely things. I always liked to be called original.
Shanti: I think we all agree she deserved it. I have so much fun writing that.
FrighteninglyObsessed: That type of action WOULD have been wrong. :D I kind of feel sorry for Peter, so I have to put him in my fics basically because I pity him . . . which is sort of worse than leaving him out altogether, in a way.
Miss Lady Marauder: If you're impatient, I'm sure you had a great time waiting for this chapter. I'm glad you liked the sequence of events.
drumer girl: Yeah, it sucks, nevermind, after Spring Break, I only have 3 weeks of school left!
Victoria87: So I'm scary now, am I? Don't worry; I can never be pissed with reviewers because well . . . they review! So you found someone? That's great. Make sure to drop me a line when the first chapter's up.
Alcapacien: I'm really glad you liked the chapter. Thank you very much!
GlassBroomstick: Well I found a bit of time to write in other classes. Thing is, now all my writing is on different pieces of paper in various notebooks and folders and it's such a pain to find all the paragraphs I wrote. Grr.
The Big Dance: Oh, now I feel coy, you flatterer. It's good that you like my style. Yes, I know how younger siblings are, unfortunately.
IamSiriusgrl: Haha, maybe I should offer shirtless!Sirius up to anyone who reviews, do you think that would work:D
MissMrprk: Genius!
melissa: Thanks so much for your note!
Ethuiliel: Haha, Sadly they were rather self obsessed, but never mind.
oReeseso: Thank you so much for telling me of your squealing (I do that too.) I think there are about two or three chapters left to this story. Around there. Would you like me to pad it out for you:D
shortywithbrains: I suppose after the initial shock of pain he was alright. ;) Well spotted though. Are you kidding? Chemistry? Interesting? Are you ill?
Tsusetsu: You're right, if I learn too much chemistry, all the creativity will be squeezed out of me. This has to stop.
limbo-gal: I love Sirius. He's great. Thanks for the comments! Read again!
Red-Emerald: Such flattery! What do you mean you don't understand the whole going to the bathroom in groups thing? It's a law of nature! You don't question it! You just do it! Sheesh. :D
Gred and Forge Weasley: Haha, thanks, I hope I can get the next chapter up soon, it's spring break.
The ORIGINAL Meathead: It was so funny reading you're review! I could see it all in my head. Maybe you should write a one shot?
SiriusProtege: Ah, reading fanfiction in IT, the age old way of avoiding boredom. Kudos. I don't really like it when people go from hate to love just like that either. There's still some pre-snog fluff to be had. Never fear.
Sushinase: Your noodle is your brain, so when someone says 'you're using your noodle' it means 'you're using your brain'. It's kind of old and only said by the over 50s. Miss Skower's is a brand of Magical Mess Remover. I suppose James was suggesting they wash Anita's mouth out with Miss Skowers. I hope this helps. :D
Anne-Janet: She gets glared at enough as it is, I think. Never mind. Thanks for the review!
SnakeEyesHannah: I'm really glad you liked so many thing in the chappy. Sirius is distracted easily, but that's why I love him. He's so funny.
vickiicky: Stopped smiling yet:)
charbar: Aha, I understand. I hope you're having a good holiday. Yes, now Lily and James are united against . . . you know, stuff. Have fun.
naidel: What? Learn to let it go? Never! There's no ANGER MANAGEMENT at HOGWARTS:D
kaiyana: Urg, I don't think I could stand Rita long enough to write a stand alone fic. She's drive me crackers. However, if you wanna have a go, by all means. :D
Tracey: Cheese rocks! I love it!
mika-mitch: An entire week? Grrr. I'm so jealous. I'll try to update, because I'm on holiday now. Although, I should be working.
siriusforeva: Haha, thanks! Go Gryffindor!
JamieBell: A bucket? I've done that with a cardboard box. That IS ironic. Well, I hope you've learnt your lesson. Never turn down hugs from fit boys.
LilMizHeartbreaker: Thanks for the note! Thank God for holidays, no chem for three weeks.
Unregistered-Animagus: Fanfiction should always cheer you up after school. That's what it's there for. Thanks for the review!
bobo-32: Thanks for the note, I try to write fast but sometimes I don't have time. I'm glad you're enjoying it.
soccerchic1989: Speaking of Haagen Dazs, I need some. Hold on a sec. Brilliant. Where was I? Oh, yes, Rita got what she deserved no question. Revenge is sweet.
dragoneye: That I should have. I'm sure she caught her reflection in a window somewhere. Oh well, thanks for the note!
Lady of Masbolle: I'm amazed I provoke that kind of reaction. :D
PhoenixPlume: Glad you liked it, read again!
snazzysnez: Thank you very much, I'm happy it was funny. I hope they get together soon too, I don't want this fic to drag on forever.
Call-Sugarhigh-Police: I've discovered I can write whilst curling my hair. Genius.
milky way bar: Girls always go to the bathroom in groups. They have to otherwise the space/time continuum will implode. Tell your friend that.
newsieduckling: Somehow I don't think they would like the idea of my having never paid attention to them. I think we should just keep quiet about my writing chapters in her class, hm?
natalie: Sophmore or junior? I dunno. All I know is that I'm in year 11 over here, but I don't think it's the same as over there. I'm 16, does that help?
ebony-plays-the-viola: You're going to Argentina? What a lucky sod you are. Send me a postcard. :D Sorry about the spelling errors, I'm crap at stuff like that. Phantasmagorical is the shiz.
Elspeth Renee: Yes, watch the bond forming. I'm cultivating it carefully. That makes me sound rather pervy, doesn't it? Oh, well.
breziebear: So you were hyped. That's good. I like hyped reviews, they're all the funnier.
geckaclark: A lot of people seem to be falling off their chairs laughing. I think there's an epidemic going around.
hazeled eye marauder: Thanks a lot, see you next chappy.
kiwislushie: Haha, thanks. A plague on chem teachers everywhere. Well, actually not because I suppose some of them are nice people, but still, I wish they'd stop moving me to the front.
razzle-dazzle-me: Thanks a lot, lovely. Read again.
Denierure: Who does like Sirius's guts:D
ArekuKatari: I'm glad you enjoy reading Sirius. I do enjoy writing him.
notyouraverageblond: Oh, I intend to. :D
HarryluvsMoaningMyrtle: Your name is so rockin'. I love it.
SeCrEt LiLy: Hello! I'm glad you decided to start reader. Welcome to the fold.
MyOnlyCat: Cheers!
Next Chappy:
You'd think it would bevery nice to be threatened with a spoon full of ice cream, but then you'd be surprised
Much like at the beginning of the fic, things get thrown at Lily.
There's a bit of a party going down in the Head's Dorms. Rock on.
Lots of luff, your ON SPRING BREAK author.
